Mommy, We Created a Plot Hole! [v2.0] (PUBLIC DEMO IS HERE!)

title_header

(Temporary Cover Art)
WIP Cover Art


What will you do when you discover that rewriting your mother’s unfinished bedtime story creates a plot hole in the real world?

Grab your plot armor and join your twin sibling and friends in a meta-fictional children’s adventure! Explore different story worlds—from fantasy and sci-fi, to mythology and mystery. Will you discover your mother’s secrets? Or will villains, plot twists, and character development prevent you from getting your happily ever after?

Features:

  • Go on a meta-fictional adventure together with your twin sibling and friends, and explore different story worlds!
  • Eight different bedtime story genres!
  • Keep track of your choices and relationships with the dynamic stats screen, inventory, and a comprehensive personal diary.
  • Meaningful personality stats, customization, and lots and lots of unique flavor text! Your choices will be continuously referenced and mentioned throughout the story, and your character will have different vocabulary, reactions, and dialogue according to your traits and personality stats.
  • Two-variable personality points system! This system allows for more accurate personality tracking. If all you’ve picked so far are silly choices, your Silly Meter will be at 100% as early as the prologue!
  • Collect trinkets and magical items, and fight legendary creatures such as the Big Bad Wolf and the Lernaean Hydra!
  • Encounter weird and adorable companions along the way! Piglets, dragons, and everything mice! Rescue a baby who fell from a stork!
  • Complete side-quests: Help out dwarves and halflings in a civil war, join a pirate gang in a post-apocalyptic spaceship graveyard, and solve the mystery of your mother’s secrets!
  • Puppy love! Have crushes on your classmates (or those you meet in your adventures), or stay oblivious and just be friends with everyone.
  • Musical scenes and unique character art!
  • Share your choices and stats screen with other people easily using a code!
  • A totally different reading experience in NewGame+!

Hi hi hello hiii!

It’s been a while, and along with countless plot and backstory revisions and me being a snail writer, the rewrite of MWCAPH! is here!

I wrote this story as a love letter to all the kids-at-heart out there, who’d like to revisit their childhood and reimagine it as one big fantasy adventure. While the Main Character is 11 years old, my target audience is not in that age group. It’s light-hearted, it’s whimsical, but this is a meta-fictional story, and I want to explore themes on what it means to be a character in a story.

MWCAPH! was originally written as a traditional novel for NaNoWriMo 2015, and is the amalgamation of all the plot bunnies I had together. If I ever get a new idea for a story, I will find a way to include it here. The story is planned to be a trilogy, but Book 1 is a standalone story in its own right. The story more or less has a complete outline, so now I have a clear idea of what’s going to happen next unlike my first attempt.

What's Changed in the Rewrite?
  • Revamped the whole Prologue and Chapter One sequence.
  • Instead of writing in a diary to change reality, you, your twin, and your friends now each write a short story during English class. There is still a diary, but it is no longer plot relevant.
  • The MC is now 11 years old instead of 10, and will be 12 years old by the end of the story.
  • MC’s mother is now a single parent. What happened to MC’s dad is now a separate mystery from why MC’s mother left.
  • Both MC and the Twin have a locket now. The gems are now purely cosmetic.
  • There’s no more middle ground: Either you want your mother to come back, or not. This is necessary for conflict with your twin. You can still change your opinion later, of course.
  • Removed translation options. You should no longer need translations to understand the context of all non-English text. (Hopefully!)
  • Roselyna is slightly chubbier.

Characters

Your Family

Your Twin: Your 11-year-old opposite-sex twin sibling. Your twin has a customizable appearance and personality depending on several variables, but they will always have a different opinion about your mother. You and your twin will be 12 years old by the end of the story.

Mommy Maggie: Your mother. She’s the reason you and your twin love bedtime stories so much. She started writing her own bedtime story where you are the two main characters, but she never finished it. She left you and your twin when you turned 4 years old to work abroad, or at least, that’s what she said. She promised to return when you turned 8, but she never did.

Your Father: You’ve only seen your father through pictures, and your mother seems reluctant to tell you the truth about where he is. But she seems to be very sure of one thing: that he loves both of you.

Aunt Julie and Uncle Robert: Your mother’s fraternal and estranged twin sister and your aunt’s husband. Your mother left you with them before she went abroad. They were reluctant at first, but eventually they grew to love you as their own children.

Kuya Patrick: Your 17-year-old cousin. He may be a little irresponsible at times, but he treats you and your twin as his own siblings, mostly because he grew up as an only child. Ever since your mother left, he’s been the one telling you bedtime stories, although he has been busy with school work recently.

Friends 6Ever (MC's Friend Group)

(Work in Progress)

Wayne Dela Cruz (Male, 11-12 years old)
Preferred Personality: Silly and Stubborn

The group baby. Wayne is an attention seeker who loves teasing his friends. He is the type of friend who will do the stupidest things just because it’s stupid, but he can also be very stubborn when being told what to do. He lives with his single father, after his mother broke up with him. While silly and very playful, he is also secretly a mama’s boy, who wishes to build spaceships, time machines and flying ice cream trucks with his mother.

Wayne is the shortest boy in class, and he says it’s because he’s a leap day baby. He got his nickname when he was little, when he couldn’t pronounce the ‘r’ in rainbow properly. He is a romantic at heart and has a huge crush on Roselyna. His favorite story genre is fantasy.

Roselyna Del Rosario (Female, 11-12 years old)
Preferred Personality: Emotional, Reliant, and Precocious

The group mommy. Roselyna’s motto in life is, “Eat, Pray, Hug!”. She loves eating sweets and is a total cuddle bug. Roselyna is emotionally sensitive, and although she likes to please people due to her insecurities, she can be spoiled and manipulative at times. She lives with her religious parents who adopted her since she was a baby.

Roselyna is the shortest girl in class, and likes to describe herself as “huggable and fluffy”. She’s been bestfriends with Wayne since preschool, and wishes she had a brother like him. Her favorite story genre is fairytales.

John Michael Magbantay Jr. (Male, 10 years old)
Preferred Personality: Disciplined and Sensible

The group daddy and youngest member of the group. Proud class president, grade rep and future valedictorian. JM is an overachiever, hoping to earn his father’s love and trust, who sees him as an unwanted child from his now missing mother. He also lives with his step-mother, and his naughty and nice step-siblings, Brandon and Beatrice.

While he doesn’t like enforcing the rules, he is very strict, and he only tolerates Wayne and Lily’s antics because they’re friends. His favorite story genre is mythology.

Lilyanne Punzalan (Female, 13 years old)
Preferred Personality: Manipulative and Independent

The de facto leader and the tallest and oldest member of the group, much to JM’s chagrin. She is the class secretary, and acts as the group’s secret-keeper. Lily likes to play detective, and tries to spend as much time as possible away from her adoptive mothers, who don’t want her to find out what happened to her birth parents.

Lily is a bit of an introvert, but she prefers the term, “selectively social”. She has dimples when she smiles, which Wayne likes to make fun of. Her favorite story genres are sci-fi and mystery.

Brandon/Beatrice Gardner (Male/Female, 11 years old)
Preferred Personality: Honest and Emotional

The group’s nemesis and JM’s step-sibling. A former member of the group, B wants to take revenge on the friends who betrayed them. Brandon and Beatrice are two different characters, but who is which depends on your choice. The other one you don’t pick will be JM’s supportive little step-sibling.

Supporting Characters

Ma’am Bianes: Your adviser and favorite English teacher. Although she is a little corny and cheesy sometimes, you wish all the teachers would be like her.

Randelle: The resident gossip guy of your class, and one of your seatmates. He’s one of those people who never runs out of stories.

Francesca: The class treasurer, and one of your seatmates. She is usually pretty quiet, but she seems more comfortable when talking to you.

(This section will be updated as more characters are introduced.)


Share Your Twins! :boy: :girl:

At the end of the demo, you will see a long string of numbers and letters. You can copy this code and enter it into the Character Page Viewer in the demo.

This is an experimental feature I developed to let you share your choices and character page with me and others. I’ll work on improving this in the future if the feedback is positive.


:rainbow: Link to the Demo: Mommy, We Created a Plot Hole!

If you enjoyed it (or hated it), I’d really appreciate it if you drop me some feedback. It encourages me to keep doing what I’m doing. :blue_heart:

Feedback I'm looking for

You don’t have to answer all of these, of course.

  • Do you have a favorite character so far?
  • How is the pacing of the story? Is the beginning too slow, or is it engaging enough? Is there too much text or choice one after another?
  • Do the personality stats match how you were playing your character? Is there a previous choice you think should be acknowledged? Are the locket notifications too distracting?
  • Is the context for the non-English parts clear enough, or did you have trouble understanding them? If so, please specify which lines.
  • I’ve left some clues around the story. What do you think happened to the father? Why do you think the twins’ mother really left?
  • Tell me your headcanons about your twins! I might just put their interactions in the story! (If it’s okay with you, of course.)

Here are some polls!


Current word count including code: 77,000+
Average words per playthrough: 22,100~
148 Likes

i remember playing the previous demos before and i’m really liking everything so far.

While the previous demos gave me the taste of the thought process and feelings of my MC (and to an extent, their friends), this version makes me feel more intuned with my MC.

i also like that the MC has a lot more interactions with their twin, their friends (well 3 out of 4 of them) and some other characters that weren’t in the previous demos like their mother, their teacher and their classmates.

Edit: is it okay to post fanart here?

1 Like

Thanks for the feedback! :slightly_smiling_face:

I’m glad you like the new demo! And yup, I had a lot of fun developing both the new and old characters, and they have a lot more personality now. Who was your favorite character so far?

Please do! :blush:

i don’t know if i have a favorite character yet but i would love to be friends with Roselyna and i’m excited to meet Lily.

Some fanart:


Remy (left) and Ryan (right)
Picrew by haruaki

10 Likes

Hi, I just wanted to ask if you still needed testers? I didn’t play the original demo but this sounds absolutely fascinating. I look forward to hearing more about this game!

1 Like

Heyo if you still need testers im down i haven’t played the original demo but this seems fun to play.

1 Like

The original demo is still on dashingdon so you can try it

1 Like

If you still need tester I’ll test

2 Likes

I haven’t read the first demo- though I am about to see if I can track it down on Dashingdon to try- but I’d love to test if you have an available spot.

1 Like

@Abe Omg I love them so much! Thank you for sharing them! :blush:

I can’t wait to finish Chapter 2 so I can introduce Lily! She’s a very complex character even if she doesn’t sound like that at first, and there’s actually a plot-related reason she’s the last to be introduced. Also, I don’t know why anyone wouldn’t want to be friends with Roselyna. Hehe.


I appreciate everyone who has expressed interest so far, and I’ve already sent the link to them. There’s still plenty of spots left!

I didn’t link the old demo because I’ll admit that it wasn’t very good, and it’s not really representative of the story anymore since I did a total rewrite.

2 Likes

You have the best stat screen I ever seen, absolutely gorgeous. I would like to choose our gender and name earlier ( I confused because I don’t know if this/that will decide my MC name/gender )

2 Likes

@Buraida_Zubair Hi! Are you talking about the old demo? I can give you the link to the new one if you want!

@Manaxaggd Aww, thanks. It’s even more better now! I’ve addressed this in the new demo–do you want the link too?

Uhh i might be intrested

1 Like

i guess i never mentioned the stats screen before but i really do love how it looks. With the font used for the headers and the particular stats you used really did match with the RPG-like style you were going for.

i also like the inclusion of traits per (well for the lack of a better word) category. You know i mentioned this before but it does make it easier for me to visualize about my MC and their twin.


You also did a good job in writing the kid characters as kids and creating a rather fun atmosphere. It's rather refreshing.
3 Likes

I’d be interested in giving feedback if you still need someone!

1 Like

All of the characters really feel real, and I love all the different ways it’s possible to interact with them. The way you react with your twin feels really natural. The stats and the enter and exit texts for various characters really add to the feeling of the game. It’s really interesting and unique.

1 Like

@Abe has said what I would, so she speaks for both of us … thank you for a refreshing story.

I also really like the (temporary) cover art… I would consider making it permanent.

2 Likes

Yeah, so you know that handwriting choice? I’m actually planning to make 4 different headers for each style! :smile:

And it’s fun writing their dialogue! One of my biggest problems in writing is actually including the action/dialogue beats since I can easily just have walls of dialogue. (It’s even harder to do with all the constant branching/merging.)

MC’s voice took me quite a while to pin down because of the different personalities, but I think all of them sound consistent so far.


@feather_light Thanks for the feedback! Do you have a favorite character so far?

Also, I’m interested to hear your (and everyone else’s) MCs and their relationship with each other!


@Eiwynn Thank you for gracing me with your presence! :blush:

I might use it somewhere else, but I actually have a WIP of the cover art in the demo. I guess it doesn’t hurt to post it here too.

WIP Cover Art (Very mild spoilers)


Also, quick update: There’s only 2 slots left! I can increase it, but I’ll have to wait for the first round of feedback first.

4 Likes

I haven’t played the (older version) game, but i’d like to be a beta tester if you still have a spot!

1 Like

Well I do love talking about my favorites and my MC soooo…

My personal favorite is Wayne so far. Haikus, teasing, might be crushing on my best hug-friend for life… what’s not to like? Roselyna’s a close second. I mean… hugs. JM’s cool, but not the type of character I usually prefer. He’s not unlikable, just not my cup of tea.

I’ve somehow already managed to find myself two sets of twins I’m rather attached to in my playthroughs. Maddie (the MC) and Mason, and Luke (the MC) and Reyna. (If I have time later today I’ll try my hand at some fan art).

Maddie’s more of the shy type. She’s the younger twin, and her and Mason are really close. She’s a rule follower and extremely organized. Loves Roselyna’s hugs with a passion, and doesn’t see Wayne’s appeal. She’s still waiting for her Mama to come home. Her stuffed puppy’s name is Sparky, and her brother’s is Stormy.

Luke on the other hand is an extravert. He’s the older twin, and has a love-hate relationship with Reyna. He’s always been fairly independent, and not a big fan of hugs. Totally on board with Wayne’s attitude, but JM isn’t his favorite person… He threw out his Mom’s family picture, and doesn’t bother checking his texts. His dino’s name is Luke Jr., and his sister’s is Belladona.

If I do get around to that art, I’ll make sure to share it :wink:

1 Like