Mommy, We Created a Plot Hole! [Rewrite Pending]

all-ages-fiction
cross-genre
nonbinary-inclusive
gender-choice

#1

:milky_way: Mommy, We Created a Plot Hole! :rainbow:

  • When you discover that writing a story in your diary allows you to relive the previous day… Will you and your twin sibling fix the plot holes you create? Or will you write your own happy ending?

Previously titled “The Inter-Literary Adventures of a Fifth Grader”


Original Post

Hi hi hello hiii! :blush:

This story was my first NaNoWriMo novel back in 2015. It has changed a lot since then. I never finished it, so I wanted to rewrite it as a CYOA instead.

Here's the original story "blurb":

Wayne and Roselyna’s only wish for their eighth birthday is a bowl of ice cream. And for their parents to come back.

Having grown close to them, their seventeen-year-old cousin Patrick decides to keep them away when he learns that their parents are going back to get them. He unknowingly creates a literal plot hole by doing so—a portal that sends them to different story worlds full of fantasy and the dangers of fractured fiction.

Wayne and Roselyna think it’s the best thing ever, but it’s a babysitting job Patrick didn’t ask for. But when they get separated and captured by the inter-literary police, finding their way home—or their parents—might not end in a happily ever after. But extra lives are a thing, right?

The basic premise of the story is: You play as a ten-year-old who writes a fantasy story in your diary about yourself and your twin sibling. The next day, you realize that you are now reliving the previous day according to how you wrote the story. But what happens if your twin also starts writing their own story? Will you agree to fix the plot holes together? Or will you be the cause of them?

The story mostly has a lighthearted and whimsical tone (with a light sprinkling of spooky and dark stuff here and there). It will have a large focus on character development and is going to be fairly linear but choice heavy with lots of narrative variation.

Planned Features:
  • Play as a ten-year-old together with your opposite sex twin sibling and go on adventures in different story worlds.
  • Keep track of your character’s thoughts and choices, as well as your current “party members” with the dynamic RPG-inspired stats screen, backpack, phone and a comprehensive personal diary.
  • Select a dream job from a wide selection as your character’s “class”.
  • Have crushes on your classmates (or those you meet in your adventures), make your friends fall for each other (or for your twin!), or stay oblivious to puppy love. (Don’t worry, they’ll have lots of character development. Hopefully. Hehe.)
  • Lots and lots of flavor text that changes according to your character’s personality and appearance.
  • Collect trinkets and magical items and fight legendary creatures such as the Big Bad Wolf, Medusa, and of course, giant robots!
  • Complete sidequests: Help out dwarves and halflings in a civil war, or join a pickpocket gang in a sunken post-apocalyptic city.
  • Solve the mystery of your parents’ secrets while trying to keep your grades high!
  • Musical Scenes!
  • Unlock commentary and other bonus features (including New Story+) after completing the game once.

:pencil2: Story Information

This section contains a summary of the important (not all) settings and characters in the story. For more information, you can view each character’s page in the relationships menu. This will be updated as the story progresses.

The Normal World

This is where your story begins. But will it end here as well?

Family Members
  • Theo and Maggie: Your 34-year-old parents. They left you and your twin sibling to work abroad. They rarely communicate with you nowadays and they haven’t even visited you once despite their promises.
  • Aunt Julie and Uncle Robert: You currently live with your aunt and uncle. They love you very much and are supportive of both of you, but lately they’ve been busy with work too.
  • Patrick: Your 18-year-old cousin. He may be a little irresponsible at times, but he treats you and your twin as his own siblings, mostly because he grew up as an only child.
  • Other Cousins: Patrick’s younger siblings. (Exclusive to the “poor” background option)
Friend Group / Main ROs

Your classmates can be romanced regardless of gender. There’s a platonic option for each character if you’re not interested in them.


  • Wayne: An attention seeker who likes teasing his friends and talking to cute girls. Wayne is very silly and playful, but he can also be very stubborn as a result of living with his single father. He usually hides from his own insecurities of having a broken family with his active imagination.
  • Roselyna: Her motto in life is, “Eat, Pray, Hug!”. She loves eating sweets and cuddling people. Roselyna is emotionally sensitive, and although she likes to please people due to her insecurities, she can be spoiled and manipulative at times. She lives with her beloved grandparents who adopted her since she was a baby.
  • Michael: Proud class president and Top 1 of your class. Michael is very ambitious, but he is pressured to follow his parents’ footsteps and conflicted whether or not he should follow his own dreams. While not averse to Wayne and Lily’s antics, he doesn’t like people who break the rules. Michael lives with his mother, step-dad and two younger siblings.
  • Lily: The de facto leader and oldest member of the group, much to Michael’s chagrin. Lily doesn’t trust people easily, so she likes playing detective and acts as the group’s secret-keeper. Lily’s mothers are very supportive of her, but are oblivious to their daughter’s secrets.
  • Brandon/Beatrice: Resident school bully who gets away with it because he/she’s the child of the principal. They are two different characters, but who you meet is determined by your choice.

Matchmaking:
Matchmaking is an optional sidequest where you help set your friends up. Wayne can be paired with either Roselyna or Lily, while Roselyna can be paired with either Wayne or Michael.

Stuff will happen naturally between them, as well as your twin, but everyone will just stay as friends if you don’t do anything.

Note: They’re all 10 years old, except Lily who is 11. You, your twin, Wayne, and Roselyna all turn 11 over the course of the story.

The Story Worlds
Summary
Escheria

Escheria is a fantasy world created by “The Three Sisters”, Arda, Agua, and Avia. A large part of Escheria is currently inhabitable and hard to traverse due to its impossible/bizarre terrain as a result of The First Intervention. Escheria is inhabited by five main races, namely: the Hoplings, the Dwarbs, the G-Nomes, the Boglins, and the elusive El’ves (the small kind).

The main story takes place in Caeshire, one of the major continents. It is covered in a large temperate forest, mountains, and giant trees. Also, it has lots of birds. Lots and lots of birds.

The first place you will encounter in Caeshire is D’ Warblings Camp, open to everyone who would like to take a refuge from the Dwarp-Hopling Civil War. There the Huckle♥Berry Inn is located, which is built on the base of a large terebinth tree and serves as the Camp’s landmark.

"Uncle" Huckle Goldberg: Proud Avian, Ornithologist, Kazooist and Accordionist, Founder of the D’ Warblings Camp, Everyone’s Uncle, and owner of the famed Huckle♥Berry Inn. (Open 5:30 AM until midnight) Currently seeking reforms to cease the Dwarp-Hopling Civil War.

Blueberry Rhymebelly: Uncle’s Hopling wife. Fled about 40 years ago, to live somewhere peaceful.

Cordelia Rhymebelly: Huckle and Berry’s Dwarpling daughter.

Pollyana Sturnidae: Uncle’s Hopling bestfriend, Avian minister, and former Broodmother of Cellador (the Hoplings’ main city). No, she doesn’t want a husband.

Dore: Uncle and Cordelia’s pet griffin. Her feathers are painted in a rainbow pattern and is looking for a mate.

???:

Wander-Land

While wandering the Wicked Woods of Wander-Land, you must seek The Queen of Hearts’ help if you still want to go back home.

Hickory, Dickory, and Dock: The three blind mice you’ll meet at the Bears’ house. Dock is the oldest triplet, who also has a hearing problem.

Waterworld

The floating remains of civilization after the events of The Wipe. Join Captain Tiago’s “pirate” crew, in search of land, looting sunken buildings, or hunt sea monsters.

Oliver/Olivia (Minor RO): 12 years old. A street urchin who joined Captain Tiago’s children pirate crew to find their missing sister Phoebe, after the Wipe flooded the world.

Nayeli (Minor RO): 9 years old. A thin, beggar girl who is mute. A member of TIago’s crew who refuses to steal and rely on alms instead.

The Dream World

Was it all a dream?

Underwater Kingdom

It’s a kingdom, 20,000 leagues under the sea. Duh.

Mythical Isles

Survive or become history… er, myth.

The Spiritual Realm

Receive enlightenment or something.

Chamyrrha/Chamiel (Minor RO): 6000 years old, looks like 9 years old. The silliest and most talkative angel you’ll ever meet, thanks in part to his/her mind reading. A Guardian of the High Gardens, exiled for being too mischievous and granting people’s wishes willy-nilly. Helps guide the lost souls in the Purgatory. A small part of his/her left wing was bitten off by imps. Wears a long, sky blue toga-robe, and has short, fluffy wings.

The Future?

The Climax and The Big Reveal. Also, giant robots. Probably.

:question: FAQ, or Questions You Might Ask

Story

Why did you change the title?
Because I love the new title and it fits the story’s tone and premise better. I still like The Inter-Literary Adventurers, so it will still be included in the story as a possible group name.

How is this different from the novel?
The biggest change I did is to demote Patrick to a major side character instead. So he won’t be able to join you in most of your adventures. I have to do this in order to make room for your other friends, and I wanted to make the game’s focus on children since switching POVs wouldn’t make sense here.

Wayne and Roselyna aren’t twins anymore. :thinking: This also means that they have different families now since their parents are now the PC’s parents. I also did this because I wanted to explore what their dynamic is if they aren’t siblings. Because they’d totally have a crush on each other.

Michael and Lily are sequel characters. I needed another pair of main charaters to complement W&R, and they were just who I needed.

There should also be much more room for worldbuilding–no more wordcount restrictions.

Lots of spoilerrific things also changed. :wink: In fact, except for the PC, most events I’ve changed in the process of adaptation is now canon.

How long will the story be?
My current plan is to make the story into a trilogy. Each book corresponds to a single year, so that by the end of the story, the MC will be 13.

The story will have 15 Chapters, 19 if you count the prologue and three different epilogues. The chapters definitely won’t have the same lengths though.

I know it’s long, but I’m determined to finish this thing!

Where does the story take place?
The Normal World takes place in a fictional part of the Philippines. The MC isn’t necessarily Filipino–it won’t be mentioned explicitly.

Characters

Can you play as your twin sibling? Can I change their gender?
That would be cool, but nope. You will always be opposite-sex twins because that’s the story I want to tell. Identical twins are overrated. However, there might be a way to do that later in the story…

All about ROs
There are 5 main ROs: Wayne, Roselyna, Michael, Lily, and Brandon/Beatrice. You can find more information above.

There are a few more characters you can have a crush on, but they’ll only appear for a few chapters, so you can’t have a relationship with them. They might appear later again though. So yes, you can have a crush on everyone but you can only “commit” to one person.

For those who aren’t interested in romance, each of the characters also has a platonic route.

Miscellaneous

Why am I only Level 10?
Because you play as a 10-year-old! It’s an easy way to show someone’s age. You can level up to 11 in the game though before your birthday if you get enough XP.

Achievements?
No, you can’t achieve any of the achievements yet. Consider them as teasers. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

Can I ask about spoilery stuff?
Sure, you dirty code peeker!

Can you add this or that?
I welcome suggestions via thread or PM!

:gear: Link to the Game: Mommy, We Created a Plot Hole!

Note: This link is outdated. The premise of the story has changed and I will be rewriting the game soon. I will create a new thread once the new demo is ready.


Which genre do you feel is underrepresented?
#2

not cool, cousin patrick. you act like you can’t visit them :sweat_smile: that aside, it’s quite interesting and I look forward to read this story


#3

I’m interested in this


#4

Nine year old is quite young, but hey, sounds fun. I’m interested :smiley:


#5

This sounds amazing!


#6

It says your twin will be your opposite gender but what if you’re nonbinary?


#7

Sounds good I’m keeping a look for the demo


#8

Well, I didn’t include the part where their parents are working on another country, and they were planning on bringing them along.

I was planning on making them eight but I guess that’s a bit too young. :smiley: I don’t see any WIPs currently that are entirely focused about children. There are quite a few ones where you can play as one but they’re only at the beginning and then I’m like, “Why do I grow up so fast?” :cry: They’re like the cutest scenes.

@Ant_Merf @GamerDude @Harley_Robin_Evans Thanks for the interest! :hugs:

It’s opposite sex, so not necessarily gender. But I’m not sure, is it fine to have you choose what your birth gender is? I think I can better explain when I show the context of the choice, but it will be implied only.


Does anyone have questions? I’m eager to answer them!


#9

ef03e0b99b5136586b268631248771e5--fan-fiction-korean-music
we live in the age of technology, cousin patrick. also planes exist.


#10

Hahaha. But aren’t planes a little too expensive for a visit? And he can’t just start living with them too. Plus it’s just not the same, you know? They’re a huggy bunch. He’s a single child who wanted to have siblings and now he’s worried they’ll end up being distant to him like what happened to their parents.


#11

but causing plot twist and endangering the children is a bit too much, isn’t it? when there are other less dangerous measures that could be done (them visiting him or he visit them, facetime, skype…)
if he wants to have siblings he could…like…ask his own parents…


#12

He didn’t know a plot hole would occur in the first place, or that he even created one. Why that happens is… Oh, I shouldn’t give spoilers away this early. :stuck_out_tongue:

His parents are too old for that and don’t want another especially when the twins started living with them.


#13

This sounds absolutely adorable!

Are the twins’ names locked to Wayne and Roselyna?


#14

Nope! They’re actually major characters. You’ll get to play as their friends/classmates.


Anyway, I want to ask people, how do you view puppy love/crushes? How much can you tolerate without it getting too uncomfortable? What do you think about kissing on the cheeks? On the lips? How about pretend weddings? I’m thinking there’d be quite a few kisses on the cheeks (you can already do that with your twin) and maybe on the lips (at the end/depends on the character), but that’s about it. Nothing too :smirk: if you know what I mean.


#15

Wait, so what does that mean? Our PCs are supporting characters? :thinking:


I personally think it’s cute, but it really depends on the age of the people involved. If they’re nine, then cheeks are fine, lips are :face_with_raised_eyebrow:, and pretend weddings are a mix of :joy: + :innocent: + :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:.


#16

No, the PCs take the place of Wayne and Roselyna. They’re mostly still the same characters, but they have different roles now. So what happens to them in the novel now happens to your characters.


#17

i agree with @violet but have mixed feelings about pretend weddings


#18

I think it would be fine to leave the pretend wedding as a choice if I ever decide to include it (I probably will).


Since I’m getting questions about how customizable are the PCs…

Let’s see… you can rename them, choose your appearance (stuff like hair, clothes, height and body shape), and the twin dynamics (who’s the older one, more dominant, talkative, emotional, whether you are competitive/supportive with each other, and even a secret twin language).

The twin has more limited appearance options (they’re more generalized instead of specific), and have a mostly set personality. I tried giving the option of setting their personality too but that’s TOO many variables when you already have lots of personality stats.

I like customization. :smile:


#19

if that ain’t me

Thanks @Franzinyte ! I’m excited for the demo!


#20

Oh man, I loved this so much I had to make an account just to tell you! I think it was the twin thing and customization that drew me in :smiley: I love customization! Really curious how this will turn out (and super excited once I noticed you had three books planned lol)

I think crushes are cute! As long as they don’t start waxing poetic about how much they love someone. They are only nine lol. Obviously it depends on the kid’s personality, but around that age you’ll still get the “we’ll get married when we’re older” and “we’ll always be together” stuff, but it’s neither infantile like preschool/Kindergarten age nor on the level of maturity of middle school age. It’s meaningful but not the same sort of “meaningful” as an adult or older teenager would describe it. Hope that makes a bit of sense? I was kinda precocious though, so someone else might have a different viewpoint.

Cheek kisses are perfectly fine. To be honest, back when I was eight/nine I had a pair of classmates who had been dating since second grade. They kissed on the mouth sometimes, but it was just like a quick peck. Super innocent. I don’t really mind something like that, especially with pretend weddings (just don’t be like little four-year-old me and try to kiss Mommy like you saw Daddy doing, yikes!). Maybe hugs and hand holding, too? I distinctly remember that all of the couples in my elementary school would hold hands more than anything else.

Welp, that was long. It’s fun to think about how you felt when you were younger though! Anyway, best of luck with the demo! I’m super excited for it!