Mommy, We Created a Plot Hole! (A Slice-of-Life Fantasy Adventure) [Updated Sep. 25 +Tumblr!]

i don’t mind either way but ngl, i am leaning towards the “waiting until a good chunk of Chapter 3 is good to go” option.


The character emojis are so cute!

And aww, the sad Roselyna has a tear. i’m gonna feel bad if ever i’m going to make decisions she may not like.

3 Likes

Well, that seems like a clear majority! I expected the results to be a little more even. :sweat_smile:


While you wait for the next update, here’s another preview of the new choices I’m adding. This is just a preview, so stuff definitely isn’t final.

Reason why you kept the old locket picture

Reason why you replaced the locket picture

Let me know if you can think of another reason not in the list, and I’ll see if I can add it in! Bonus points EXP if it has a counter-argument too.

Character Class / Dream Job Selection


Level 12 Students can finally change their class to something else! The class basically functions as another trait/passive – it’ll give percent stat bonuses, and depending on what class you choose, may also trigger special flavor text or unlock special interactions.

You can also choose not to change classes and stay as a Student, which will give you bonus EXP instead. (Yup, it’ll be possible to level up to 13 before your birthday :birthday: , which awards an achievement and gives a big all stats up.) You can probably change classes later on, but I haven’t decided yet.

So anyway, what classes are you all rerolling to? And yes, you can even input your own! :smile:


Hehe. Sad Rosie always had a tear, but I made the emojis slightly bigger too so it’s easier to see. Oh, and you might have to, choices with a :heavy_minus_sign: :broken_heart: may have positive plot-relevant consequences later on!

7 Likes

i like the new choices for the locket options. i can’t wait to see the other stuff that underwent change as well.


As for the job/class, i think i'm going have Remy as an Detective/Investigator and Ryan as a Doctor/Caregiver.
1 Like

Hmm, I think I’ll be tweaking the class selection process a little bit.

In the preview above, the suggested job category was marked by a star. So to streamline it, a list of suggested classes will now be shown first instead of the job categories.

The suggested classes will be based on your MC’s enneagram type (the birthday wish you picked during the short story). So the list of classes I previewed above will be suggested if you picked:

  • I wanted to discover and learn everything in the world.

Of course, the “pick something else” option will now be reworded to:

  • Come on, I’m not that predictable! I want to be something else.

Hopefully this will provide a more immersive experience!

8 Likes

hmd-24

Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy! I miss you so much! Please call us again soon.
No, I miss you more, Mommy!

Hi Mommy! It’s my favorite day today, so I made a new poem! Can you guess what it is? Daddy said it’s okay to visit me, so I’ll be waiting for you!

Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy Josephine. I know you’re not my real mommy, but… :hugs:

Happy Mother’s Day, Nay. Wherever you are, I hope you’re proud of me too…

Fine, but just this once, okay? Happy Mother’s Day to the best Police-Mom and Computer-Mom in the world!

13 Likes

Hello everyone! I know I made a poll earlier about whether I should split the update into two parts, but unfortunately I don’t think I’ll honor the results. :pensive:

I’ll be very busy once again soon, and all the editing I’ve made almost feels like writing a new chapter in terms of workload. I could delay the update further, but I won’t be able to work with a peace of mind knowing that I have a half-finished update lying around.

The update should come out within the next two weeks, or earlier if I feel like it. At minimum, it will contain just the edits, and at best, I will have the whole Chapter 2 complete and the Tumblr ready.

Anyway, here’s the incomplete change log to get you hyped (seriously, just look at how much stuff I changed):


📝 v2.2 (Level Twelve Update)

STORY

• Chapter Two is now completed!
• MC and Twin are now 12 years old. JM is now 11 years old.
• Lily and JM’s introduction songs are now available!
• To improve pacing and reduce filler chapters, the story is now set one day later. Choices and story elements have been adjusted to fit the new timeline:

  • The story now begins on Feb. 28, during Roselyna’s birthday.
  • Ma’am Bianes is now leaving LCU after the school year.
  • The reconciliation scene has been revamped to be more thematic. MC no longer fully forgives their twin, regardless of starting relationship. The fight is supposed to be an ongoing source of tension.
  • Added more reasons to hate B(?)
  • Wayne’s fieldtrip waiver now has a signature!
  • Wayne and Roselyna’s introduction songs now segue into their short stories.
CHARACTERS

• Roselyna’s parents, Kuya Patrick, and Wayne’s dad are now introduced.
• Adjusted character personalities:

  • Roselyna should now be slightly less childish.
  • Wayne should now be slightly less silly, and will no longer react angrily when telling Roselyna to be less childish.
  • JM should hopefully no longer come off as manipulative.
  • The locket choice also now has a more significant effect on the twin’s personality—they will be more silly and stubborn in addition to being emotional if they’re wearing the Heart Locket, while they will be more practical and down-to-earth in addition to being reserved if they’re wearing the Star Locket.

• Twin always trusts Lily now.
• Twin will now only be in the Class Top 10 if you have the [Competitive] Trait.
• Twin no longer wears glasses if MC wears glasses. This was almost never addressed anyway.
• Added two more seatmates(?)

CHOICES

• Moved the disciplined/stubborn student choice to the prologue.
• Added a ‘good ending’ choice to the list of endings you can choose to write for the bedtime story.
• Added two separate choices where you can choose whether and why you still love/believe/hate/resent Maggie.
• Added a choice where chubby and formerly chubby MCs can choose whether they like calling themselves ‘huggable’ and ‘fluffy’ as well. They will also no longer automatically gain bonus relationship with Roselyna.
• Added dream job choice which also determines you and your twin’s character class. Your short story genre and birthday wish will influence the suggested classes presented.
• Added an extra starting relationship choice with JM that increases Discipline & Silly.
• Added a choice where you can pick if you have experienced snow before if you were born in another country.
• Added a choice where [Acrophobe] MCs can choose to hold your twin’s hand when going down the stairs.
• Added a choice where you can select where the Friends 6Ever Headquarters is.
• Added a choice where you can tell Roselyna how to deal with bullies.
• Revamped various choice trees: Certain choices will now either help or hinder your friends’ character arcs, which are tracked via hidden variables.
• The seat position choice now also determines who your seatmate is.
• Removed the Silly/Sensible Twin and Disciplined/Stubborn Twin choices, as well as the choice of whether they trust Lily.
• Removed the Wayne and Roselyna LQ choice because it was redundant.
• Removed the negative/hostile deal choices after hugging B. Hugging B is also no longer possible if you pushed Roselyna away earlier.
• Removed choice about forging Wayne’s waiver.
• You can name your stuffed toy again(?)
• You can now select a bestfriend(?)

STATS AND MECHANICS

• Added a new phobia: [Arachnophobe].
• Added new traits: [Young Padawan], [Musically Averse], [Cryptolingual], a second [Genre Lover] Trait, and a class-specific trait.

  • The [Young Padawan] trait gives you a 30% EXP Bonus, and is acquired if you don’t pick a class/dream job.
  • The [Musically Averse] trait gives you a choice to skip each musical scene.
  • The [Cryptolingual] trait unlocks a secret language exclusive to you and your twin.

• Adjusted how relationship changes are handled, so certain choices are more/less impactful than before in the long run. For example, a simple disagreement with a character won’t have a lasting effect anymore.
• Personality Stats can now decrease instead of giving points to the opposing stat to better reflect some choices, since “—Honest” isn’t necessarily the same as “+Manipulative”. This also means that some choices may be more/less impactful than before.
• Diary is now fully accessible!

ART

• Updated character art and cover art.
• Brandon/Beatrice no longer has placeholder art.
• Updated a few headers and certain heart locket gems.
• Added inventory and trinket icons.

CHANGES AND FIXES

• Increased XP needed to level up to 130,000.
• Playthrough codes are now more compact.
• Edited and trimmed down some scenes and awkward/tangential dialogue to improve scene flow.
• Doubled B’s starting negative relationship because it was too easy to increase for the first encounter.
• The airport choice no longer specifically mentions Lungsod City as Maggie’s hometown.
• The ‘Personality Stats Guide’ has been expanded and renamed to just ‘Stats Guide’, and is no longer written in first person(?)
• [Stoic] MCs no longer automatically give hugs in public even if they have Physical Touch as their love language. Trait description has been updated accordingly.
• Added emojis to certain choices. Changed star and heart choice symbols to emojis. Most star symbols have been removed from choices with variable wording but with no special requirements.
• Removed certain secrets that weren’t very secrety.
• Adjusted personality and relationship stats from various choices.
• Alternate text has been added to most images.
• Sprinkled in more references.
• And most importantly, Roselyna is now slightly more huggable.


I’m also cooking up some very exciting stuff in the near future, so stay tuned! :shushing_face:

27 Likes

Seeing everything from the change log, i’m super excited to play v2.2 already!

2 Likes

I noticed what i think are a few mistakes and one sentence I didnt think made a lot of sense.

Summary

I think it should be “has” here

Here i got the feeling it should be “We had” I could be worng in this one tho!

“Had” again I think

“Were” because its in the past I think


“Would” I think


Is Paddy Patrick? In the “wasn’t” I think it’s “weren’t”. Regarding him being like a father to them that is a litle strange since he is a kid himself.

I havent started chapter 1 yet but until now i’m really liking this book, i think its pretty interesting and well writen :slight_smile:

1 Like

Hello! I know it’s been more than a month since I made my last post, buuut now I’ve learned my lesson about making any promises. I clearly underestimated the stuff that I still need to write, and I’ll admit that I’ve fallen into the trap (again) of trying to edit as I write instead of just writing it all out. It’s also just draining to write different personalities at once, especially in first person.

On my last update post Chapter 2 was approaching 40k words (including code), but now it’s almost 50k! That’s already more than double the length of Chapter 1, although I’m pretty sure that a large part of it is because of all the variations… I hope so, at least. :sweat_smile:

I never really stopped writing, but I just want to make this post so that I can clear my headspace and permit myself to stop working on MWCAPH! for the next several weeks so I can focus on other stuff. :shushing_face:


@M_Trakar Sorry for the late reply, but I appreciate all the reports! I implemented some of your suggestions, but unless it’s a blatant error, I think it’s fine to leave most of them that way. ‘Me and my twin’ is grammatically incorrect, after all. I do agree that the sentence with Patrick is a bit awkward though!

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the rest of it! Sorry that the update is coming a lot later than intended.

17 Likes

I gotta say, this is one of the most unique wips I’ve ever seen! I really wish you luck because I love this concept.

3 Likes

Hiii! I can finally get back to writing again!

Sooo, I’ve actually been working on an animation as my one of my final projects. I wanted to create a trailer for MWCAPH!, but unfortunately it didn’t get approved, so I had to settle for the next best thing and create the prologue instead. It’s complete, but it’s incredibly rushed, so I’m not sure I actually want to share it just yet. It needs an awful lot of polishing before it’s presentable, but I don’t think I can do that in the foreseeable future.

So here’s a preview instead!





@Nell Thank you! I hope you enjoyed reading it. I’m excited to finally be done with the next update!

32 Likes

Very Fun and Unique WIP! :smiley:

I like the plot a lot! As a Filipino, I’d say this is really relatable for me.

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Oh my god, this is totally off topic, but these previews remind me of these cartoons I used to watch on youtube or whenever I visited my family in Bangladesh. I’m looking forward to it!

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Please tell me there will be more chapters! I really loved this, I could make my mc exactly like me, like a annoying and cold girl (but deep down is actually a very sweet girl) who is mad with her mother because she left her, and doesn’t get along with her twin because he’s totally different from her. This. Is. Amazing. :rainbow:

1 Like

Hello everyone! Chapter 2 is mostly complete, but while you wait, here’s a little sneak peek of the revamped twin reconciliation scene. It’s all in code, unfortunately, but there’s no way I can show the variations in just a couple of screenshots.

For some context: Just before this snippet, you get to choose the reason why you still love/believe/hate/resent Maggie, with MC and Twin then deciding to fight the story’s villains (and unifying their short stories) together. The the/this/thim are the twin’s pronouns, by the way.

Summary
[i][b]${sibtwin}[/b] has joined the party![/i][n/][n/]
*if (heartlocket)
	*if (loveshugs)
		$!{the} scratches ${this} head. "Come on, I know you've been waiting to do it."
		
		And with no telepathy necessary… I close my eyes and throw myself towards ${thim}@{emotional , as my eyes start doing what they do best|}. And for the first time in a long while, ${the} doesn't complain.
	*else
		$!{the} closes ${this} eyes, when ${the} suddenly throws ${thim}self towards me.
		
		[i]A hug.[/i] $!{the} almost never does that. And that's when you know ${the} really means it.
		
		*if (hateshugs)
			The hug connects, and for the first time in a long while, I don't complain. 
		I @{hateshugs let ${thim} pull me|pull ${thim}} closer@{emotional  as my eyes start doing what they do best|, and close my eyes with a smile}.
*else
	$!{the} closes ${this} eyes, and throws ${thim}self towards me. 
	
	*if (loveshugs)
		We meet in the middle, no telepathy necessary. 
	*if (hateshugs)
		The hug connects, and for the first time in a long while, I don't complain. 
	I'm a little surprised it took ${thim} this long to finally hug me—usually it's the first thing ${the} does after we fight.
	
	I @{hateshugs let ${thim} pull me|pull ${thim}} closer@{emotional  as my eyes start doing what they do best|, and close my eyes with a smile}.

*if (loveshugs) and (starlocket)
	We both hold onto each other for a long while. Just me and my ${tlilbig} ${tsibling}, ${hugging} in a sunset-lit school corridor… at least, until we have to breathe.
*elseif (loveshugs)
	And so I hold onto ${thim} for a long while. Just me ${hugging} my ${tlilbig} ${tsibling} in a sunset-lit school corridor… at least, until I force myself to pull away to let ${thim} breathe.
*elseif (starlocket)
	And so I let ${thim} hold onto me for a long while. Just my ${tlilbig} ${tsibling}, squeezing me in a sunset-lit school corridor… Typical day, really.
*else
	It'd be barely considered a hug @{wordy according to ${Roselyna}'s standards|if you ask ${Roselyna}}, but considering neither of us are cuddlebugs, it's long enough for both of us.

*if (emotional)
	I take @{glasses off my foggy eyeglasses and wipe them|a moment to wipe my eyes} with the ${color} @{wordy handkerchief|hanky} ${the} threw at me earlier, and 
	*if (starlocket)
		then I wipe ${this} eyes as well.
	*else
		tuck it back to ${this} pocket. 
I'd say that it feels like something heavy was lifted off my chest, but I guess there's a reason why it's a cliché. 
*if (lovelanguage = "words")
	My ${tsibling} saying that ${the} wants to continue ${this} story with me? That's the best thing I've heard all day.
*elseif (lovelanguage = "touch")
	Getting @{(precocious_percent > 80) oxytocin from my ${tsibling}|to ${hug} my ${tsibling} again} does feel like that.
*elseif (lovelanguage = "time")
	I can't wait to spend time and continue our stories together, just like it's old—well, backstory times.
*elseif (lovelanguage = "gifts")
	My ${tsibling} wanting to continue ${this} story with me is the greatest gift I could ask for right now.
*else
	My ${tsibling} wanting to continue ${this} story with me is better than any gift or apology ${the} could ever give.
*if (acrophobe)
	$!{the} moves closer to the @{(height = 1) flower beds|railings}, and peers into the abyss that is the quad below.

	I don't follow, of course. I'm perfectly fine staying here, where I'm safe and—

	$!{the} reaches out for my hand. "Come on, I'll hold you."

	I grip ${this} hand reluctantly, and inch closer towards ${thim}. With another hand on the railings, I follow ${this} 
*else
	I move closer to the @{(height = 1) flower beds|railings}, and peer into the quad below.

	$!{the} doesn't follow, of course. $!{the}'s always scared of falling off no matter how many railings you put in front of ${thim}.

	I reach out for ${this} hand. "$!{cmon}, I'll hold you."

	$!{the} grips my hand reluctantly, as ${the} inches closer towards me. With another hand on the railings, ${the} follows my 
gaze towards a pair of students with their arms open rushing towards—I assume—their mother.

And for a moment, it's just the noise of the other students being picked up by their parents—both literally and not literally. Some happy their suffering has finally ended, some of them getting the scolding of their lives. It's funny how dismissal can both be the best and worst part of school.

@{acrophobe My heart almost jumps when|Then I} feel a gentle weight on my shoulder. "@{oldlocketpic I don't think I'm|I'm sure you're not} ready to say sorry to $!{mommy} yet, but… I'm sorry for being a terrible ${tsibling}."

I take ${this} hand off me and look at the floor, our own shadows stiff and steady against the fluttering fern shadows. I'm glad we're @{starting_rel ${bestie}s|friends|siblings} again, but I'm not ${gonna} apologize to ${thim} for @{mommy_feeling still loving|still believing in|being angry at|being resentful of} $!{mommy}.
*page_break "Then that's good enough for me."

Any feedback is welcome!


@Hector.Jones I’m glad you liked it! And just wait for Chapter 2 – there’ll be a lot more familiar things to see!

@Kethmos Thank you! Unfortunately I won’t be working on it anytime soon, but I hope you enjoy reading the story!

@Kimotski Hi there, welcome to the community! And yup, Chapter 2 is almost complete, so just sit tight!

10 Likes

That’s great to hear! To celebrate, here is my coloring of the Valdez twins, Remy (left) and Ryan (right)! i hope you folks like my OCs.

12 Likes

super excited!

1 Like

As a born and bred Filipino, I love this SO MUCH! You perfectly captured the feel of being a kid of such tender young age. As someone relatively young with those memories fresh in my mind still, you’ve really struck a chord with me here.
(And of course, when upon reading, I noticed Tagalog being spoken, I couldn’t help when given the option to model the twins after me and my own sister)
With all the well-written choices, you can really act like an actual 12-year-old grade-schooler. I could really easily just act like I did when I was 11 or 12: act just like I did (and, well, do) with my sister… everything you put into this just makes me think ‘wow’!
Basically, I loved it and am supporting you 100%!

5 Likes

rtpassed
:eyes:

11 Likes

v2.2 update

New word count (including code): ~130,000+
New average words per playthrough: ~40,000

Ver. 2.2 Highlights

  • Chapter Two is now complete! The story is now set one day later to improve pacing.
  • MC and Twin are now 12 years old. The reconciliation scene has been revamped to be more thematic.
  • You can now choose the reason why you still love/believe or hate/resent Maggie.
  • You now get the option to skip songs if you choose to skip the first song.
  • You can now select your character class/dream job.
  • Adjusted stats and character personalities according to feedback.
  • 10+ new traits, 1 new sidequest, 1 new trinket, and 3 new secrets to be discovered!
  • Increased save slots to 12.
  • Roselyna is now slightly more huggable.

The full update notes can be viewed in the demo.


The update is finally here!

Just a few things before I go:

  • Please report any bugs, typos, missing images, or formatting issues!
  • The diary entries are still missing, but I hope to include them soon.
  • I haven’t updated the survey results at all because of the huge backlog. I probably won’t update it anytime soon, but the results and the feedback have been very helpful! If you’ve answered the survey before, I’d appreciate it if you can send me your playthrough code again!
  • Lastly, let me know what you think of the update!

…I should probably go sleep. :zzz:

25 Likes