I feel much better now. I just felt really bad because I tried to finish Chapter 2 as fast as I can so I can clear my head so I can focus better, but if I didnāt have the survey (or the Tumblr), I wouldāve gotten almost zero feedback after working several months for the update. And, well, you can just imagine how that feels. The update has made me feel worse instead of better.
Like @Abe has said, Iāve been setting up hidden messages and codes in preparation for the next update, but it feels like itās not going to be even worth the effort. I donāt care much if my storyās not popular, but itās just really demotivating if every update feels like you didnāt update at all.
You donāt have to beāthe worst thing you could do to yourself is fail in your offline needs, whether that be focusing on things like your studies, keeping house with your family, or even working a job that might need more from you than usual for various reasons. Books donāt take under a year to complete, this is especially true, and important, for IF.
Yeah, a couple authors around the forum have demonstrated a phenomenal writing pace, but theyāre the outliers, not the rule. Itās more realistic for projects like this to take multiple years to complete, so pauses, and breaks arenāt such a scary thing in the long run; even we as consumers have offline lives that need us to be present, and focused. You can love or sometimes strongly dislike the feedback you get informing you next choices, but at the end of the day you donāt create to exclusively cater to your readers. Thereās so much more than just the ābeing appreciatedā side of things in creation.
Thank you. I appreciate the vote of confidence, but I do not have any problem with taking a hiatus (Iāve already done that so many times, whatās one more?). The problem I have is the state Iām leaving the project on.
I wish this isnāt what Iām talking about, but I donāt think itās healthy to keep this to myself. Itās honestly getting tiring being all positive in my posts when itās not what Iām feeling.
The problem is that there is barely any. I donāt want to seem ungrateful for those who have given their feedback (like you have!), but every time I try to ask for it, it just feels like Iām just talking to myself ā that it feels like Iām being demanding ā and I hate it.
MWCAPH! is supposed to be a character-driven story, but when I have gotten virtually zero discussion about the characters, when I have no idea what readers think of them (besides the numbers in the survey which arenāt really useful), I donāt really know what else to do. Iāve got no one to talk about my story offline, and I just want someone to talk with and bounce off ideas with someone. If I havenāt done that with some of my old writer friends (most of which are rather inactive now), absolutely none of my characters would be developed right now.
Again, I know it takes effort to provide feedback and stuff, and I should write for myself and not others, but there just comes a point where getting almost none of it and seeing it almost everywhere else (especially those with much less content might I add) is just destroying my enjoyment of reading other WIPs. Iād rather hear about why someone didnāt like my characters than get 10 more likes I canāt do anything with.
Am I really expecting too much here? Because I just feel really really left out.
Among the F6E, i think i like Roselyna the most. Maybe i really like friends who are sweet and affectionate. It did hurt me when she was visibly hurt from Richard's rejections.
i admit that Lily interested me at first; but now, i really suspicious of her and her motives. A part of me feels like she is interested on the Leap Day Lady for her own reasons.
i donāt know what to make of Wayne other than he is reckless in a funny way. His name does remind me of Wayne Brady, a known American comedian (who i knew from Whose Line is It Anyway?) Him being in the Top 10 is a surprise; though, he is a kid with many talents and interests so maybe i shouldnāt be.
i know that JM has the less amount of screentime but i canāt help but feel bad for him, seeing he is always at a crossroads.
For B, i feel bad when i learned that they were casted out (probably under Lilyās machinations) but some of the things they did like framing JM for cheating and ruining Wayneās gift for Roselyna did make me lose some sympathy points for them. iām hoping that the future chapters could change my mind.
The option of asking if Patrick is going to sing about how the twins should not fight made me laugh. His confusion as why should he doubled [the hilarity of it].
iām also going to fight anyone who picks on Randelle, Mariko, and Nabela for being different. No joke.
Speaking purely from an individual readerās perspective, itās tough to give feedback about every possible nuance the ambitions of this story hope to achieve. Before even mentioning anything else, the genres alone are a very complicated set of variables that would take time to work through. In a very real sense, a planned project of this scale could provide years of entertainment just to āfind it allā as it were. The WIP actually already has this immense feel to it, which is impressive for being so functionally short.
The variance in the genres just from my pov, I wonāt be speaking on anyoneās behalf here make it tough to start providing feedback toward āpossibilitiesā that could happen in the story; my twin pair chooses Fantasy, for instance. Theyāre not the only pair who does, though, so what about the other genres? Thereās no pressure to try them all right away, naturally, but it can be daunting to think, āI am interested in this, but not so interested in that, so is what I have to say even useful when it is likely the same as what someone else said?ā Would it feel like less pressure on your end to cut a few, and then add them later as thoroughly tested dlc? Though if Iām remembering this rightly, something like that was brought up beforeā¦ I wasnāt around for that long, though, I do know from context this project is older than the OP for this particular thread. Leaving this aside. In a box. On the far side of the room.
The Possibilities I talked about earlier werenāt easy to picture until the most recent update because we were still in the school for a bit there. I can admit to being behind on catching up to reading the most recent update, though not for lack of interest as this is sincerely a one-of-a-kind story that Iād love to see published one day. Still, even politely, we shouldnāt tell you how to write your story. Which is why my genre talk is in that box over thereā¦ Maybe I should add some chains, and a combo lock for good measure?
If this were a real book, whoās name would be on the dedication page?
You mentioned the lack of people offline to discus your project withāthereās no doubt by now that you had to have, but have you shared about it recently? Itās been with you long enough that anyone who genuinely cares for you should have at least a small invested interest in where itās at, and were it will be later. I feel like Iām waffling a bit, so Iāll come back to this after reading the WIP again to provide something a bit more useful.
@Abehugs from Roselyna The feedback is very much appreciated. Iāll have to give you my thoughts some other time because I donāt want to make this post too long, but your post has already given me stuff to think about even if itās only a line or two for each character.
But yes, the future chapters will change your mind about B ā Iām pleasantly surprised more people are excited for that subplot more than the fieldtrip. This is a major spoiler so unfortunately I canāt tease more about it.
@LadyUmbreon89 Ohh, thank you much for taking the time to type all that. I was genuinely worried I made you uncomfortable or that I kinda put you on the spot.
While Iām glad the WIP feels massive as you say, I think this is bad communication on my part. Youāre right that the project scale was brought up before, and that was partly the reason for the rewrite. This might be a bit clearer now with the new blurb/summary, but the story is actually fairly linear ā the genres, besides giving you special interactions, just decide the villains who will be chasing you throughout the adventure, and you wonāt be exploring the story world youāve chosen until the end. Itās the climax of the story, and it wouldnāt make much sense to arrive there early. Iāll have to elaborate on the story structure some other time, but donāt worry about the genres being too much work. If anything, itās the dialogue choices and flavor text I need to dial back.
I also appreciate your concern. I donāt think Iām comfortable enough yet to show it to my family, but I do plan on doing so in the future. I have showed them the animation (and most of my other projects) I was working on (they did help me with it after all), so they at least have an idea about what Iām working on.
And please, take your time if you do want to provide more feedback. I feel bad about my outburst earlier and I hope it hasnāt ruined anything. Clearly Iām still in the middle of my character development.
Hi! I just remembered that I actually shared some of the future settings/story worlds you will encounter in the old demo thread, but I never talked about them at all here yet.
Would you guys want to learn more about the other settings (besides MCās story world)? It would be moderately spoilery, but Iāll just talk about the settings, not the plot and characters you will meet. (You will learn a little more about the plot during the Story Exchange during Rosieās party in Chapter 3.)
Yes, Iād like to learn more about the other settings/story worlds!
Nope! I donāt want to be spoiled.
0voters
Iāll still keep them hidden even if yes wins, of course.
Edit: Oh, and just a heads up, I recently changed the Tumblr blog URL in case anyone gets confused. I also added a tags list so you can sort through the posts easier! Questions are always welcome.
Yup, only the story worlds. I wouldnāt really call Rosieās house a spoiler. There might be other places you wouldāve been able visit (including The NeStore), but unfortunately I had to cut a chapter to move the plot along much quicker.
Although technically, I call the first act the āSlice of Lifeā world.
Anyway, it looks like the majority wants a preview, so itās time forā¦
Here are some sneak peeks to the first story world you will visit! I will make my own drawings later in development, but for now, Iāll show some of the reference/inspiration pictures Iāve gathered instead.
Bonus points if you get all the references I put in!
Summary
Escheria
The first world you will visit is the fantasy story world, Escheria, which is based on Wayneās short story.
Formerly inhabited by three goddesses, Avia, Arda, and Agua (also known as The Three Sisters), Escheria is home to the fun-loving halflings, the stubborn dwarves, the crafty gnomes, the silent, sea-faring goblins, and the tiny, elusive elves that live in the northern poles. (In-story they call themselves hoplings, dwarbs, knomes, boglins, and elāves, respectively)
Escheria, as its name might suggest, has an extremely unusual geography that morphs and changes every 100 or so cycles, in an event known as a āworldquakeā. The cause of this event is the major reason why there is a great divide between the āracesā, particularly the Avian-worshipping halflings and the Ardan-worshipping dwarves.
Caeshire
The places you will get to visit in Caeshire (the largest continent in Escheria) include:
Dā Warblings Camp is a refugee camp established by Dā Warblings orchestra, where both dwarves and halflings can live in peace. It is situated in a remote, terraced valley, which is home to partridges, turtle doves, Caeshirean hens, and a large variety of other calling birds. A bridge to a terebinth treehouse lies near the middle, where the famous Huckle-Berry Inn is located.
Cellador is the capital city of the halflings, where the esteemed Broodmother resides. It is a massive sequoia tree city interconnected through ziplines, aqueducts, mushroom bridges, and overhanging cable trains.
MetroKnome is a sprawling steam/dieselpunk metropolis, where you will see airship and ornithopter races in every corner. It is rumored that the rapid technological advancement of the gnomes is a result of a black, indestructible monolithic machine of unknown origin, that stands tall in District 13 ā the heart of the city. Good thing they were able to repair and upgrade the school bus you crashed.
Mt. Bundoc is part of the largest mountain range in Caeshire, governed by the Dwarf President. This is where the most unusual geological formations happen, that seem to even alter the laws of physics. Castles and mining settlements of all shapes and sizes dot the mountainside and the numerous ravines and canyons.
A cursed forest in the Uncanny Valley, haunted by the victims of the war that resulted in The First Intervention. Should you travel through at night, watch out for seemingly abandoned water wells, houses with legs, and pray to the Three Sisters that you never encounter the night parade of a hundred demons, lest you join your ancestorsā constellation in the sky. Hopefully you have a dreamcatcher to help you slumber through the night.
An ever-changing river that loops around Escheria, with no clear end or origin. People all over Caeshire leave trinkets on the river as it passes through, waiting for them to come back around, where they can take and leave new mathoms for the next cycle, at which point everyone becomes one cycle older.
There are many other locations of course, but since your visit to Escheria only lasts for 2-3 chapters, you wonāt get to explore them allā¦ for now, at least.
Escheria is the most developed setting I have so far, so feel free to send me questions, here or through Tumblr!
Anyway, thatās all for now, and may the birds be with you!
Edit: Oops, I forgot to put this in. I know I said there wonāt be any character introductions in this one, but since I already previewed this in Tumblr, I figured Iād show it here too.
Meet the rainbow cockatoo griffin, Dore! (Get it? :D)
You will meet Dorothy in Chapter 5 while exploring Dā Warblings Camp. And yup! Youāll be able to pet and ride Doreāwhich Iām very sure will be very fun for the twins with the [Acrophobe] Trait. Of course, you can also travel by ground, but whereās the fun in that?
Thank you! I appreciate it a lot, and now Iām getting the itch to draw the rest of the characters again (there are a lot I need to draw still). To be honest, I really should practice drawing more often. Thereās still a lot I need to learn, and Iām very slow.
Yuuup, finding reference pictures for animals are a pain sometimes.
Anyway, here are some fun facts about Dore:
Summary
Dore is currently looking for a mate
Doreās feathers are actually just dyed/painted
She likes licking people who are new to the campāitās her way of saying hello
Sheās a showoff and likes doing tricks in the air (especially when she has passengers on)
Oh, and btw, I found a better reference for Cellador! (Specifically the 2nd and 3rd ones from the bottom).
Hello everyone! I just updated the demo to show the survey results from Chapter 2 (You can load a save near the end to see your results).
It has much less data than the old survey (and half of it is still untallied), but results seem consistent for the most part. Iāve updated my spreadsheet though, so I donāt have to manually tally things up anymore, so stat updates should be more frequent.
Here's a little preview of how I evaluate the stats:
The numbers on the leftmost column is the percentage range, while the left number in each column is how many people are in that range (right number is the percentage).
For example, I can see here that thereās only a few people with a Precocious stat higher than 80%, so I might lower flavor text that need at least 80% Precocious down to 75 or 70.
Here are some fun and interesting things to note:
The most popular genre combination is Fantasy and Mythology, at 19%, then Fantasy and Supernatural at 14%. Fantasy has an overall pick rate of 56%.
INT still remains as the highest attribute for most people at 48%.
The personality stat with the most people at the extreme ends (98-100%) is Reliant, at 11%, followed by Introvert and Emotional at 9%.
āHave you tried to make them stop using your cuteness?ā is the most popular bully advice for Rosie at 35%. Expect her to keep following this advice in inappropriate situations, hehe.
42% didnāt send a message to their twin, and 44% of those who did, wanted to give their twin a hug. (No one has picked the āIām waiting for Twinās sorryā)
63% told the group about Bās deal, and 88% agreed to it.
Thereās one person who somehow reached about 50% relationship with B (might be an error?), and then pretty much everyone else is below 20%. Not sure if this needs adjusting again.
44% donāt have a favorite parent but there are 2x more people who are Mommyās children than Daddyās children.
65% have their twin as their bestfriend, and a little over 50% have a crush on someoneā¦ so far, at least.
Only 21% have accepted Lilyās sidequest in the library, and Iām assuming this is because most people chose to not snoop in on her. Maybe I should add a hint that thereās a sidequest if you choose to do that.
That said, there isnāt much difference in interest between Bās sidequest and Aunt Julieās secret, so hereās a poll regarding Chapter 3:
Which branch are you most interested in/want to check out first?
Sleepover! (Allows you to progress both B and Lilyās sidequests, and interact more with the group)
Go home early (Allows you to discover Aunt Julie and Maggieās secrets)
0voters
Once again, thank you to everyone who answered the survey and shared their playthrough codes! I really appreciate it.
i think iām going to have the Valdez and Agnes do the sleepover while Richard goes home early just because it is inline with their characters. Also because i never had a sleepover with friends before. Cousins, sure but never with friends.
Welp, Iām actually kinda glad the sleepover is getting the majority vote. I was anticipating that itād be the other way around, so I added more incentives to going to the sleepover since I wanted it to be a dilemma. But maybe I didnāt need to do that.
Iām not working on it yet, but Iāll probably split the Chapter 3 update to two parts and work on the sleepover branch first. Iām dreading working on the other path because it has actual ciphers and puzzles you need to solve, and I want to make sure you canāt just cheat by looking through the code, or if youāve already played once (it wonāt be much of a mystery otherwise). Of course, youāll still get something even if you donāt solve it.
Well, I never had one either, so youāre not alone
Wow-- can I just say I love this? The graphics, the aesthetic, the effort! The creativity in how my character is writing a story while playing it?? The existential themes, the dialogue? Itās incredible! Iāll give more substantive feedback when I have time but wow! Also, Iām feeling some real middle school nostalgia while playing, which is funny haha.
(I actually have a twin brother irl so I decided just to create characters that are me and him-- first time I played as myself lol).
edit: Okay, so I really liked the humor of the story, like the shout-outs to Shakespeare, Star Wars, Firefly, etcā¦ I also liked the way you kind of weave in the exposition about my character and her background super seamlessly. Honestly, I donāt have much suggestions other than I canāt wait to finish this game haha
Hi! Thank you so much for the comments @Tuunetoon! Also, I really appreciate you taking the time to provide feedback ā Iāll make sure to return the favor when I have the time!
Iām glad you enjoyed the story so far, and aaaaaaa itās always nice to see that someone has a twin. I actually donāt have one myself, so if you have any suggestions or feedback regarding MCās relationship with their twin, Iād love to hear it!
Hehe, and yup, itās fun littering references to other stories and stuff throughout the story.
The only thing I can say is that ime twins tend to be competitive just because weāre going through all the same life stages, and people tend to compare us for the same reasons, but I feel like itās good that a lot of that is also customizable bc obviously everyone is different
Also, I really appreciate you taking the time to provide feedback ā Iāll make sure to return the favor when I have the time!
never fails to amuse me