Model Citizens: Unmasked (WIP - Update April 11, 2019)

super-powers
gender-choice
nonbinary-inclusive
#1

Hi there!

So, while some of you may know the other WIP I’m working on, Icarus Sun, I also write a lot of what I call ‘first page stories’ in my down time. These are basically stories that I write in times of high-stress to unwind or when I have writers block to get inspiration flowing. Normally, they never get past the first page (hence the name).

But… then this one happened. And it’s become my go-to fun, free, unwinding story. In fact, it’s actually gotten moving quite a bit more than just the first page.

So I figured, why not see how far I can take it? And decided to focus all my unwinding writing time into this story instead of a bunch of tiny ones.

Here’s the link if you want to play it:
Model Citizens: Unmasked

Here’s a blurb about the story if you don’t want to go in blind:
It’s a story about a world full of heroes with odd and amazing powers! But… you’re not one of them. You don’t have powers, and you don’t plan to go and fight crime. No, you’re just a model, everyday citizen. A reporter, in fact, tied into the events of heroes but never really a part of them…

Except for one (well, two, but thats already said and done), little exception.

You work for The Nickelport Rust, a controversial paper known for one reason and one reason only.

Unmasking heroes.

Here’s some important info about this project:
So, Model Citizens is an idea I had a while back- a couple of ideas actually.

I love superhero books, and I know there’re a lot of amazing ones here already, but like I said I’m not really going into this thing with a very serious attitude (this one is really just relaxation for me, just a fun, lighthearted, actiony thing to do), and I wanted to explore the world of superheroes from a couple of different perspective.

So… if all goes as is (kinda??) planned out in my head, this would be the first of (four? three? I’m kinda winging it) books exploring a city full of superheroes from people who aren’t heroes themselves. The Reporter, The Henchman, The Officer, (And maybe the psychologist? I thought it’d be fun to write a story about a psychologist for heroes or something I’m not sure).

The books themselves would be unrelated save for the setting and maybe a few tie-ins with reoccuring NPCs and mentions of old MCs.

So, will all this actually happen? And when? Well…

This is a story I’m writing for fun and relaxation.

My main book is Icarus Sun, that’s the one I’m focusing on and that’s the one I’m more worried about finishing.

I’m gonna be upfront, updates are going to be slow and scarce with Unmasked. This is going to remain something that I write to relax, or to gain inspiration. I’ll just focus on this one alone during those times instead of scattering it about several smaller stories.

Maybe after I finish Icarus Sun I’ll focus on this one more, and the whole Model Citizens idea in general. But until then… well like I’ve said over and over this is a fun story. I figured that if I was going to put a li’l more focus in it… well, I’d want you guys to have fun with it too.

Even then, I have a couple of other ideas I’m toying around with as my ‘post-Icarus Sun’ stories, and I kinda like having the story I don’t have to take too seriously, the story I can keep lighthearted and a little sarcastic and just have for fun, y’know?

So… it’ll be slow. It’ll be slow but it’ll be done for kicks and to have fun with it. So I hope you have some fun with it as well, and stick around for this relaxed li’l ride.


Excerpt Locations For The Quizzically Minded

Short Lucy Romance Example: Post 678

Short Raf Romance Example: Post 689

Short Yolanda Romance Example: Post 812

A Miniature Murder-Short Story in Nickelport: Posts 672-674

Eileen, V, and Jacob Romance Examples are all on Post 921

Short Ricky Romance Example is on Post 857

Short Sad Ricky Romance Example #2 is on Post 988

Fun Lucy Example #2 This Time from Her Perspective is on Post 1001

Extra-Short Raf Short on Post 1056

Raf Perspective Experiment on Post 1178

Kiss Scene Example Ft. Ricky on Post 1375

For When The World Shows You Something Bad On Post 1459


Social Media is Now A Thing That’s Happening

Check out the tumblr page here

The link is back up to the discord, found here!

If you ever want to check out any of my other writing- I have a writing blog right here, too!

If you want to support me and my writing- I now have a Patreon!


The Romantic Interests (Because You Might Want to Know Who They Are)

Finley Burke - Genderfluid (they/them), Pansexual

Finley Burke. Your boss. Though they tend not to act like it. Sure, they’re professional and put-together- save for those bruise-purple bags that never leave their eyes… and the fact that the most they can ever do with their hair is a messy side ponytail… and the fact that their shirt has a coffee stain on it you’re pretty sure was from last week and… well, at the very least, they still manage to have an air of being put together, even if they don’t always look it. Finley is caustic and never without a sarcastic remark, though hardly ever harsh. Always encouraging their employees and making sure that everyone is safe… or as safe as they can be, working for The Nickelport Rust. Finley is jaded, but sometimes, just sometimes, you can still see a spark of the old passion they once had lying behind faded blue eyes.

Rafael Darzi - Male (he/him), Pansexual

Rafael Darzi is a man who lives guided by his heart. He is kind, empathetic, warm, and always puts others before himself- for better and worse. He loves wholly and fully and cares deeply, some might say too much, for those he is close to. He smiles at the smallest things and keeps his joy within himself, shown only by the crinkling by the corners of his eyes. He is quiet and soft-spoken, and never without a gentle or encouraging word. He is often blinded by his own love for his friends and family. They can do no wrong, so of course the fault must lie with him.

One of the divorcee options.

Jacob Greenhill - Male (he/him), Homosexual

Jacob is fueled by a passion for life and laughter and joy. He may seem naive by his constant, easy grin and continual (horrible) jokes but those in and of itself come from a place of strength and experience. Jacob is an ex-cop, someone seen the worst of the worst of Nickelport and has come out grinning in spite of it all. He lives by the motto that the best way to live life is to love it, and to seek joy within it. So that’s what he does, he seeks joy. And he seeks to bring it to others, too, always trying to make his friends laugh or crack a smile. Jacob believes in the best of humanity, and in walking into the hurricane with your chin raised high and a spring in your step.

Lucille “Lucy” Pinchette - Female (she/her), Pansexual

Lucy has always been someone who believes in merit and honor. She believes in carving out your own name for yourself and making your place in the world through hard work and sweat. She believes in loyalty and always seeking to better yourself. She has always charged directly ahead, with a pirate’s swagger and an unshakeable smile. Lucy will charge headfirst into a risky situation and get knocked down, but she doesn’t ever stay down because Lucy is not someone who accepts defeat easily, if at all. Stubborn and stubbornly kind to those she loves, Lucy will stick up for what, and who, she believes in till the very end.

The other divorcee option.

Yolanda Waltz - Female (she/her), Homosexual

Yolanda Waltz is Nickelport’s darling. The shining starlet of the district of neon stars. She is regal, and elegant, in her words and her movement and her manner. It seems she’s practiced everything she says before she says it, all words are refined and precise. She’s fashionable and has no trouble taking the limelight. In fact, she thrives in it. But beyond the glitz and glamour is a hardworking woman who has made her name for herself, by herself. Yolanda Waltz isn’t just the jewel-drenched gowns and ruby-woven necklaces, but an intelligent businesswoman who knows exactly how to play the media game.

Eileen Abney - Female (she/her), Asexual, Panromantic

Eileen is new to Nickelport and boy does it show. She is, in a word, bright. Exceedingly bright, always able to find the best in everyone and in every situation and always, always willing to help even strangers out with even the smallest of problems. She is a ray of sunshine, prone to humming herself and baking sweets for friends and coworkers and if she has a leftover and sees someone having a bad day then hey??? Why not them, too?? Hope you like snickerdoodles! A lover of bright flowers and fluffy animals. Will not let anyone go unhelped if they seem to be in distress. Even if all she can do is sit with them or offer some kind encouragement, she will.

The Informant - Male (he/him), Demisexual, Panromantic

You don’t know much about The Informant. Mostly because he keeps it that way. Quiet, with his expression hidden behind a set of dark sunglasses he never seems to be without. He’s all business but… There has to be more to him, doesn’t there? He’s certainly a tough nut to crack, but who knows what lies inside…

Ricky Dempsey - Male (he/him), Heterosexual??? Pansexual??? (Questioning)

Oh, Ricky. You and he have a… strenuous relationship, to put it mildly. Known by the public as Nickelport’s youngest politician quickly accumulating power and support. He’s commonly referred to as one of the most charming politicians out there, and one of the few truly reputable figures seeking to reform Nickelport into a safer, kinder place. But… well, lets just say that while everyone else knows Ricky Dempsey, Nickelport politician, you know Ricky Dempsey, dictionary definition pain in the ass and all around curmudgeon. With a scowl so deep you’re half surprised it hasn’t somehow irreversibly become imprinted on his face, the Ricky Dempsey you know is a grump who refuses to actually smile at anything. You’re half sure a puppy licking his hand would make him frown and that he’d probably jerk his hand back and call it a pest while trying to find somewhere to wipe off it’s “disgusting slobber” because he would refuse to ruin his grey suit.

Oh yeah, and you’re currently blackmailing him to do what you want. That, too, probably isn’t helping you get along.

V(ega/era/incent) Bayer - Female/Male/Agender (Gender Switchable) (she/her // he/him // they/them), Pansexual

V Bayer is, in a word… unpredictable. A person of action over thought and who wholeheartedly believes in ‘the bigger, the better’ when it comes to said actions. V seems to be a bit of a wild-child who not only never backs down from a challenge but will purposefully make things more of a challenge for the sake of their own amusement. They also appear to be keenly lacking in a self-preservation instinct, otherwise they probably wouldn’t pull half the stunts they do. Confident, suave, and conniving V is… V. And there’s really no one else like them. (Well, at least if you ask them, that’s true.)

Erin Liu - Female/Male/Agender (Gender Switchable) (she/her // he/him // they/them), Pansexual

Erin has always been kind to you. You sometimes have to wonder if you know about them than you do yourself. You know that they like to think they’re smooth, up until they try to actually be smooth. You know that they’ve always been protective of their friends and loved ones. You know that they’re never one to hide their emotions but wear them on their sleeve, and even when they try to hide what they’re feeling those feelings just end up bubbling over even more than before. You know that they’re an awful liar, and that they believe in doing the right thing whenever possible. You know they have a strong moral compass and that they would never, ever hide anything from you. Or so you thought.

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#2

Not played yet, but a concern I have with “just for fun” side projects is that they often wind up being better than the “for realsies” projects because the creator hasn’t chained themselves to it.

Your blurb here has all those signs screaming out at me here…

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#3

I can understand the concern, trust me. (That’s kinda why I put them in the blurb, I didn’t want to try and trick anyone or anything, just be upfront and honest, y’know?)

Honestly, I don’t think I’ll be dropping this project any time soon just because it’s already stuck with me for so long. I mean, heck, I even rewrote it because I wanted to put a little bit more effort into it then the original had going.

So, y’know, it’s something I want to have fun with, and since I figured I was going to stick with it, I might as well put it up for others to have fun with it as well.

If you do decide to read it… well, then I hope it’s just that, fun. But if not, I completely get your concerns. :smile:

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#4

I’ll read it (just as soon as my soup warms up :stuck_out_tongue: ), just if it turns out to be as awesome as it sounds, that “to be continued… maybe?” is going to be murder most foul :laughing:

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#5

Nice start - it has vibes of IS but is definitely unique.

It looks like a fun project too.

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#6

I really love what has been put up so far and the way the demo ends has me wanting more; which is good. I can’t wait to see how this turns out. I especially love the aspect of playing the Lois Lane type character rather then the out right hero/villian.

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#7

The hero/villain isn’t necessarily the person making all the nosie though :wink:

Edit : and paragraph 2 of page 1 goes and illustrates my point :stuck_out_tongue:

Edit 2: Yeah, that cliffhanger…

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#8

I actually wanted to write a game based on the whole “looking at the superhero world from a different perspective” genre since there didn’t seem to be one out. But my writing partner wanted to do a sci-fi dystopia so that was put on hold. I lost in the coin flip. I’m jealous.

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#9

Curse you cliffhanger! I wanted to know who MC was married to and possibly get back together with them! Seriously, if they’re the reason MC is working for Finley, they need to cough up some cash so my MC can afford a decent car. No offense Finley.

It’s so hard to not suggest corrections because I love it so much, but you’re getting zen time from it and I don’t want to ruin that. I’m not going to ask for any promises, but I hope you consider making this your main project after you finish Icarus Sun. :slight_smile:

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#10

Ooh, I love this already. I really hope this isn’t one of those things I get really invested in, only for it to fall into obscurity on here. And I love the perspective this is written in, too. It instantly reminded me of Ratings War, for obvious reasons, except this is about a world full of superheroes instead of a world of ultra-advanced tech, set several decades in the future.

I can see this going in so many directions! Does the MC go against their bosses to expose them and their corruption? Do they find themself tired of being the one needing saving and instead decide to be the person saving others? Do they expose their ex? Do they personally stop their villainous ex themself?

Point is, I’m excited to see where this goes!

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#11

I’m a big fan of Icarus Sun and I’m always a sucker for a good superhero game so I had a feeling I was gonna like this, but damn man, that cliffhanger is killing me! Also love that this isn’t the typical hero type of story, I can finally live my Lois Lane-esque dreams. Really looking forward to seeing how the rest of this story plays out!

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#12

On a side note I just realized that this game has the initials MCU and I love Marvel (there’s a few homages to some comic books in the premade names, not sure if anyone caught that ahaha) but that was completely on accident and now I’m laughing a lot.

Aha, well I don’t usually enjoy the idea of dropping projects (especially ones as fun as this) so I’ve got high hopes for it. :smile:

Thanks! I’m hoping it will be (I get to write action which is so much fun and I’m really excited for it.)

Yay! I’m happy you like it!

(Honestly I really love writing the Lois Lane character, it opens up the way for a lot of sass in regards to the fact that the trope makes the reporter the one that has to be saved and I’m 100% gonna give the option to let the MC make fun of that trope to the death.)

Ahahaha… whoops?

(Heads up: I love cliffhangers, and also it gives that 60s super-heroy-tv-show vibe with the whole dramatic TO BE CONTINUED as well so… yeah… expect a lot of those)

Ahh, that’s to bad! (The coin flip and super hero thing makes me think of Harvey Dent… never good to lose a coin flip when he’s involved…)

I mean, hey, never too late to start one, right?

Please offer corrections! I love receiving feedback and corrections are even better because they help me grow as a writer and it’s also just fun to see what other people notice that went straight over my head.

Won’t ruin my zen time at all :wink:

Also, your spoilers made me laugh. I love Finley… they try. Blame Triple N.

Also! Fun fact that you bring up the divorcee:

[spoiler]You actually get to chose who they are, there’s two different options both of whom will show up in the story whether or not you were married to them (completely different people and personalities), and you don’t have to have been in love with them. It’s something I’m experimenting with in code, I think it’ll be fun!

And, yes, you will have the option to get back together with them by the end of the book. There’s a couple of ROs planned out right now, and both of the divorcee options are on the RO list whether or not they were the one you divorced (since both play into the story either way).[/spoiler]

Ah! I loved Ratings War so much!

I actually got a lot of the inspiration for the MCs quips and responses to some things from a couple of people I grew up around who were reporters. (Always the most outspoken people I knew… so I looked up to them a lot.)

Anyway, I’m hoping this doesn’t just fall into oblivion, I mean… I’m not planning it to. It’s fun to write and, frankly, I don’t want to give that up, y’know?

As for the rest… well… you’ll see :wink:

Awww, thank you so much!

I can whole-heartedly swear that you will have the chance to live out your Lois Lane dreams (since a couple of the planned ROs are superheroes… a couple are villains too, if you wanna go that route :smile:)

I mean… I guess I kinda already started fulfilling on that promise? You’ve already been saved by one hero, I mean. (You also get to rebel against the idea if you wanna do that, be a free reporter!)


I’m excited to get to the part where you guys get to pick who was the divorcee. Both of 'em are super fun to write and some of the reasons and responses are really fun to plan out as well.

Long story short, I’m excited, and I’m happy you guys are willing to come along for the ride!

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#13

Damn, that cliffhanger! I’m really looking forward to see where this goes.

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#14

This is fantastic. :grinning:

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#15

That cliffhanger! This is absolutely fantastic. I really enjoyed the descriptions about the pen for some reason and when the MC was dangling off the side of the building I had a wave of vertigo.

Please do persist with this one. I’d really like to read more.

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#16

I’m getting the sense that a lot of people had fun with the cliffhanger, aha.

Thank you so much!

Well, here’s to hoping it goes good places!

Aww, thank you so much! I love the pen part too. Funnily enough I rewrote that one scene like three different times because I wanted to get that sense of waiting and impatience right, and the time I got it right? It was because I was waiting for something, and feeling very anxious waiting for it.

Also is it really weird that I’m really happy that I could make someone feel vertigo? It sounds weird, but y’know… It worked! My evil plan has come to fruition! Bwahaha!
Ahem.
Thank you! :smile:

But yeah, my plan is to focus all my stress/writers block energy into this one (since it’s harder for me to write a more planned-out/focused work like Icarus Sun during those times, and easier to do something purely enjoyable like this one) so, yeah, if all goes according to plan I’ll keep with this one too!

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#17

Totally digging the regular person being caught up in superhero/supervillain shenanigans. Also that cliffhanger tho😂

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#18

And the cliffhanger has claimed another victim!

I’ve always loved the idea of just a guy going to buy his groceries and suddenly a super villain crashes into the store thrown from like fifty feet away and the hero just swoops on in like “I will save you citizen!” And the guy is just standing there in his pajamas with like a robe wrapped around them and a milk carton in his hand thinking “I just wanted to buy milk. It’s too damn early for this.”

I don’t know where that mental image came from… but it was basically the inspiration for the entire idea of Model Citizens.

Because, I mean, living in a world full of superheroes would be such an inconvenience, honestly? Everything is always exploding and people get thrown through walls and if you’re not an active part of that world it’d probably just be one big ole, occasionally pretty deadly, annoyance.

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#19

The reason why if I lived in a universe filled with superheroes I would avoid living in a major city. Why would you still live in New York if the Avengers and their enemies keep destroying everything and don’t even get me started on Daredevil/ The Punisher :blush:

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#20

That cliffhanger!!!

This looks epic, looking forward to more. :slight_smile:

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