Model Citizens: Unmasked (WIP - Happy Halloween Mini-Update October 31, 2017 )

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nonbinary-inclusive
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#1

Hi there!

So, while some of you may know the other WIP I’m working on, Icarus Sun, I also write a lot of what I call ‘first page stories’ in my down time. These are basically stories that I write in times of high-stress to unwind or when I have writers block to get inspiration flowing. Normally, they never get past the first page (hence the name).

But… then this one happened. And it’s become my go-to fun, free, unwinding story. In fact, it’s actually gotten moving quite a bit more than just the first page.

So I figured, why not see how far I can take it? And decided to focus all my unwinding writing time into this story instead of a bunch of tiny ones.

Here’s the link if you want to play it:
Model Citizens: Unmasked

Here’s a blurb about the story if you don’t want to go in blind:
It’s a story about a world full of heroes with odd and amazing powers! But… you’re not one of them. You don’t have powers, and you don’t plan to go and fight crime. No, you’re just a model, everyday citizen. A reporter, in fact, tied into the events of heroes but never really a part of them…

Except for one (well, two, but thats already said and done), little exception.

You work for The Nickelport Rust, a controversial paper known for one reason and one reason only.

Unmasking heroes.

Here’s some important info about this project:
So, Model Citizens is an idea I had a while back- a couple of ideas actually.

I love superhero books, and I know there’re a lot of amazing ones here already, but like I said I’m not really going into this thing with a very serious attitude (this one is really just relaxation for me, just a fun, lighthearted, actiony thing to do), and I wanted to explore the world of superheroes from a couple of different perspective.

So… if all goes as is (kinda??) planned out in my head, this would be the first of (four? three? I’m kinda winging it) books exploring a city full of superheroes from people who aren’t heroes themselves. The Reporter, The Henchman, The Officer, (And maybe the psychologist? I thought it’d be fun to write a story about a psychologist for heroes or something I’m not sure).

The books themselves would be unrelated save for the setting and maybe a few tie-ins with reoccuring NPCs and mentions of old MCs.

So, will all this actually happen? And when? Well…

This is a story I’m writing for fun and relaxation.

My main book is Icarus Sun, that’s the one I’m focusing on and that’s the one I’m more worried about finishing.

I’m gonna be upfront, updates are going to be slow and scarce with Unmasked. This is going to remain something that I write to relax, or to gain inspiration. I’ll just focus on this one alone during those times instead of scattering it about several smaller stories.

Maybe after I finish Icarus Sun I’ll focus on this one more, and the whole Model Citizens idea in general. But until then… well like I’ve said over and over this is a fun story. I figured that if I was going to put a li’l more focus in it… well, I’d want you guys to have fun with it too.

Even then, I have a couple of other ideas I’m toying around with as my ‘post-Icarus Sun’ stories, and I kinda like having the story I don’t have to take too seriously, the story I can keep lighthearted and a little sarcastic and just have for fun, y’know?

So… it’ll be slow. It’ll be slow but it’ll be done for kicks and to have fun with it. So I hope you have some fun with it as well, and stick around for this relaxed li’l ride.


Excerpt Locations For The Quizzically Minded

Short Lucy Romance Example: Post 678

Short Raf Romance Example: Post 689

Short Yolanda Romance Example: Post 812

A Miniature Murder-Short Story in Nickelport: Posts 672-674

Eileen, V, and Jacob Romance Examples are all on Post 921

Short Ricky Romance Example is on Post 857

Short Sad Ricky Romance Example #2 is on Post 988

Fun Lucy Example #2 This Time from Her Perspective is on Post 1001

Extra-Short Raf Short on Post 1056

Raf Perspective Experiment on Post 1178

Kiss Scene Example Ft. Ricky on Post 1375

For When The World Shows You Something Bad On Post 1459


Social Media is Now A Thing That’s Happening

Check out the tumblr page here


The Romantic Interests (Because You Might Want to Know Who They Are)

Finley Burke - Nonbinary (Genderfluid), Pansexual
Finley is your boss. That being said, they don’t really appear to like their job at The Rust either, which might contribute to their consistently caustic tone. You don’t really know why they took job if they dislike what The Rust does, but for some reason they did and they’re doing their damnedest to make The Rust the best it can be- which is really just like them. Because no matter the situation, Finley’s the type of person who’ll take it with a sarcastic comment and a smile, and then do their best to make it into something better.

Rafael “Raf” Darzi - Male, Pansexual
Raf is an affectionate, shy guy with gentle manners and a knack for remaining calm in even the most dire of situations. Raf is very empathetic, and as a result he has a tendency to put himself last. Raf has a tendency to focus on one thing as a time, since when he does he kinda loses sight of everything else outside of what it is he’s so focused on.

Jacob Greenhill - Male, Homosexual
A young law student who used to be in a police academy but left after deciding that catching the bad-guys wasn’t enough- but making sure that they actually got into jail was. Jacob’s a man with a strong sense of justice and a lot of passion, but he’s young and doesn’t quite know what he’s doing, and he gets frustrated easily with that fact. Jacob’s a social, energetic guy with a lot of hopes and dreams.

Lucille “Lucy” Pinchette - Female, Pansexual
Lucy’s a woman with a pirate’s swagger and a fire in her eyes. She’s outspoken and unafraid to state exactly what’s on her mind. She’s your grade-A extrovert and loves being around people- well… people she likes. Lucy isn’t afraid to speak out when she dislikes something or someone. Lucy is also fiercely loyal to those she does like, she’ll do pretty much anything for family and friends.

Yolanda Waltz - Female, Homosexual
Yolanda Waltz is a socialite who’s known for managing the nightclub Chat Blanc and for being a bit of a playboy (playgirl? I’m not sure of the word) type, although, strangely, she’s never actually seen in a relationship. Yolanda is known to be suave and cool-headed, and has a rather gleaming reputation in Nickelport’s mass media as the businesswoman responsible for Chat Blanc’s recent success.

Eileen Abney - Female, Asexual (Panromantic)
Eileen is a sweet girl who just moved to Nickelport recently. She’s struggling in the big city since she’s never really been in that kind of environment, and as a result is a little overwhelmed with everything. But she finds solace in small groups of friends that she’s made while she’s here. Eileen’s main concern right now is proving, to herself and others, that she can survive in this crazy city- and not just survive, but thrive as well.

??? (You don’t know his name, he hasn’t really given you one yet…) - Male, Pansexual
An informant, and… that’s really all you know about him. This guy is someone who you’ve yet to find out the identity of. In the few interactions you’ve had with him it’s been hard to get a read on his personality, especially since most of them are short or not in person. Somehow he seems to know everything about Nickelport’s underground, and he’s perfectly willing to trade that information… if you can bring him more.

Ricky Dempsey - Male, Pansexual? Heterosexual?*
Ah… yes… Mr. Ricky Dempsey. Ricky Dempsey and you have a… strained… relationship, to say the least. He’s a politician who you actually caught cheating on his wife in a story that was supposed to be a dead-end rumormill investigation that you were using as cover on a bigger, superhero-related piece. Now you’ve got him under your thumb (despite the fact that you were never going to publish the piece anyway), especially since his entire political campaign was built on promises of “honesty and a trustworthy politician who’ll tackle corporate corruption”. Since then, Dempsey and his wife have split, and though the public thinks that its because of his focus on politics you know a bit better. Dempsey is a politician, so he’s got all the charm and eloquence that comes with one… on the outside, at least.
*Ricky’s going through a bit of a self-discovery period, as is such he’s romanceable by any MC regardless of gender- however the romance between him and a non-female MC is going to be very, very different than a romance between him and a female MC.

V(ega/era/incent) Bayer - Agender/Female/Male (gender switches), Pansexual
V Bayer is, in a word… unpredictable. A person of action over thought and who wholeheartedly believes in ‘the bigger, the better’ when it comes to said actions. V seems to be a bit of a wild-child who not only never backs down from a challenge but will purposefully make things more of a challenge for the sake of their own amusement. They also appear to be keenly lacking in a self-preservation instinct, otherwise they probably wouldn’t pull half the stunts they do. Confident, suave, and conniving V is… V. And there’s really no one else like them. (Well, at least if you ask them, that’s true.)


Any recommended WIP interactive novels?
My top WIPs as of right now
#2

Not played yet, but a concern I have with “just for fun” side projects is that they often wind up being better than the “for realsies” projects because the creator hasn’t chained themselves to it.

Your blurb here has all those signs screaming out at me here…


#3

I can understand the concern, trust me. (That’s kinda why I put them in the blurb, I didn’t want to try and trick anyone or anything, just be upfront and honest, y’know?)

Honestly, I don’t think I’ll be dropping this project any time soon just because it’s already stuck with me for so long. I mean, heck, I even rewrote it because I wanted to put a little bit more effort into it then the original had going.

So, y’know, it’s something I want to have fun with, and since I figured I was going to stick with it, I might as well put it up for others to have fun with it as well.

If you do decide to read it… well, then I hope it’s just that, fun. But if not, I completely get your concerns. :smile:


#4

I’ll read it (just as soon as my soup warms up :stuck_out_tongue: ), just if it turns out to be as awesome as it sounds, that “to be continued… maybe?” is going to be murder most foul :laughing:


#5

Nice start - it has vibes of IS but is definitely unique.

It looks like a fun project too.


#6

I really love what has been put up so far and the way the demo ends has me wanting more; which is good. I can’t wait to see how this turns out. I especially love the aspect of playing the Lois Lane type character rather then the out right hero/villian.


#7

The hero/villain isn’t necessarily the person making all the nosie though :wink:

Edit : and paragraph 2 of page 1 goes and illustrates my point :stuck_out_tongue:

Edit 2: Yeah, that cliffhanger…


#8

I actually wanted to write a game based on the whole “looking at the superhero world from a different perspective” genre since there didn’t seem to be one out. But my writing partner wanted to do a sci-fi dystopia so that was put on hold. I lost in the coin flip. I’m jealous.


#9

Curse you cliffhanger! I wanted to know who MC was married to and possibly get back together with them! Seriously, if they’re the reason MC is working for Finley, they need to cough up some cash so my MC can afford a decent car. No offense Finley.

It’s so hard to not suggest corrections because I love it so much, but you’re getting zen time from it and I don’t want to ruin that. I’m not going to ask for any promises, but I hope you consider making this your main project after you finish Icarus Sun. :slight_smile:


#10

Ooh, I love this already. I really hope this isn’t one of those things I get really invested in, only for it to fall into obscurity on here. And I love the perspective this is written in, too. It instantly reminded me of Ratings War, for obvious reasons, except this is about a world full of superheroes instead of a world of ultra-advanced tech, set several decades in the future.

I can see this going in so many directions! Does the MC go against their bosses to expose them and their corruption? Do they find themself tired of being the one needing saving and instead decide to be the person saving others? Do they expose their ex? Do they personally stop their villainous ex themself?

Point is, I’m excited to see where this goes!


#11

I’m a big fan of Icarus Sun and I’m always a sucker for a good superhero game so I had a feeling I was gonna like this, but damn man, that cliffhanger is killing me! Also love that this isn’t the typical hero type of story, I can finally live my Lois Lane-esque dreams. Really looking forward to seeing how the rest of this story plays out!


#12

On a side note I just realized that this game has the initials MCU and I love Marvel (there’s a few homages to some comic books in the premade names, not sure if anyone caught that ahaha) but that was completely on accident and now I’m laughing a lot.

Aha, well I don’t usually enjoy the idea of dropping projects (especially ones as fun as this) so I’ve got high hopes for it. :smile:

Thanks! I’m hoping it will be (I get to write action which is so much fun and I’m really excited for it.)

Yay! I’m happy you like it!

(Honestly I really love writing the Lois Lane character, it opens up the way for a lot of sass in regards to the fact that the trope makes the reporter the one that has to be saved and I’m 100% gonna give the option to let the MC make fun of that trope to the death.)

Ahahaha… whoops?

(Heads up: I love cliffhangers, and also it gives that 60s super-heroy-tv-show vibe with the whole dramatic TO BE CONTINUED as well so… yeah… expect a lot of those)

Ahh, that’s to bad! (The coin flip and super hero thing makes me think of Harvey Dent… never good to lose a coin flip when he’s involved…)

I mean, hey, never too late to start one, right?

Please offer corrections! I love receiving feedback and corrections are even better because they help me grow as a writer and it’s also just fun to see what other people notice that went straight over my head.

Won’t ruin my zen time at all :wink:

Also, your spoilers made me laugh. I love Finley… they try. Blame Triple N.

Also! Fun fact that you bring up the divorcee:

[spoiler]You actually get to chose who they are, there’s two different options both of whom will show up in the story whether or not you were married to them (completely different people and personalities), and you don’t have to have been in love with them. It’s something I’m experimenting with in code, I think it’ll be fun!

And, yes, you will have the option to get back together with them by the end of the book. There’s a couple of ROs planned out right now, and both of the divorcee options are on the RO list whether or not they were the one you divorced (since both play into the story either way).[/spoiler]

Ah! I loved Ratings War so much!

I actually got a lot of the inspiration for the MCs quips and responses to some things from a couple of people I grew up around who were reporters. (Always the most outspoken people I knew… so I looked up to them a lot.)

Anyway, I’m hoping this doesn’t just fall into oblivion, I mean… I’m not planning it to. It’s fun to write and, frankly, I don’t want to give that up, y’know?

As for the rest… well… you’ll see :wink:

Awww, thank you so much!

I can whole-heartedly swear that you will have the chance to live out your Lois Lane dreams (since a couple of the planned ROs are superheroes… a couple are villains too, if you wanna go that route :smile:)

I mean… I guess I kinda already started fulfilling on that promise? You’ve already been saved by one hero, I mean. (You also get to rebel against the idea if you wanna do that, be a free reporter!)


I’m excited to get to the part where you guys get to pick who was the divorcee. Both of 'em are super fun to write and some of the reasons and responses are really fun to plan out as well.

Long story short, I’m excited, and I’m happy you guys are willing to come along for the ride!


#13

Damn, that cliffhanger! I’m really looking forward to see where this goes.


#14

This is fantastic. :grinning:


#15

That cliffhanger! This is absolutely fantastic. I really enjoyed the descriptions about the pen for some reason and when the MC was dangling off the side of the building I had a wave of vertigo.

Please do persist with this one. I’d really like to read more.


#16

I’m getting the sense that a lot of people had fun with the cliffhanger, aha.

Thank you so much!

Well, here’s to hoping it goes good places!

Aww, thank you so much! I love the pen part too. Funnily enough I rewrote that one scene like three different times because I wanted to get that sense of waiting and impatience right, and the time I got it right? It was because I was waiting for something, and feeling very anxious waiting for it.

Also is it really weird that I’m really happy that I could make someone feel vertigo? It sounds weird, but y’know… It worked! My evil plan has come to fruition! Bwahaha!
Ahem.
Thank you! :smile:

But yeah, my plan is to focus all my stress/writers block energy into this one (since it’s harder for me to write a more planned-out/focused work like Icarus Sun during those times, and easier to do something purely enjoyable like this one) so, yeah, if all goes according to plan I’ll keep with this one too!


#17

Totally digging the regular person being caught up in superhero/supervillain shenanigans. Also that cliffhanger tho😂


#18

And the cliffhanger has claimed another victim!

I’ve always loved the idea of just a guy going to buy his groceries and suddenly a super villain crashes into the store thrown from like fifty feet away and the hero just swoops on in like “I will save you citizen!” And the guy is just standing there in his pajamas with like a robe wrapped around them and a milk carton in his hand thinking “I just wanted to buy milk. It’s too damn early for this.”

I don’t know where that mental image came from… but it was basically the inspiration for the entire idea of Model Citizens.

Because, I mean, living in a world full of superheroes would be such an inconvenience, honestly? Everything is always exploding and people get thrown through walls and if you’re not an active part of that world it’d probably just be one big ole, occasionally pretty deadly, annoyance.


#19

The reason why if I lived in a universe filled with superheroes I would avoid living in a major city. Why would you still live in New York if the Avengers and their enemies keep destroying everything and don’t even get me started on Daredevil/ The Punisher :blush:


#20

That cliffhanger!!!

This looks epic, looking forward to more. :slight_smile: