@Samuel_H_Young Demo thoughts, since I’ve finally found time:
Your choice to open right up with our mother pursuing us right under the house into the damp, dark crawlspace, covered in filth and her mind consumed with rage as she shows no hesitation following directly in and catching us was a genius idea. Remarkably at the first paragraph, I was immersed; even not knowing the info you previously gave us, it still would have been the same, too. Your writing was paced perfectly and you spared no moment in making us wonder what the hell is going on and pulling us right into the world. Shit, I already hated her when she first started simply yelling my character’s name; you convey well right away that she is one nasty woman (for the lack of a better term).
And then there’s the flashfoward to present day, where we make an actual attempt on her admittedly-pathetic life. This scene was extremely well written, as, since I was so immersed due to that tense and awesome opening, I was literally having basically the same thoughts as my character while the scene itself rolled along and I awaited what the obvious reason was we were there to unfold. The choices themselves when we do make that attempt were surprisingly well varied, also. I personally think snapping her neck is too quick a death to give her, so for a bit I debated with myself over choking her or beating her with the tankard. At first I decided upon option A, but after reading your description for choking her, it made me repeat that debate. I still prefer using the tankard, as it is both brutal and the most poetic in my opinion, but you succeeded heavily in making us really think like what we are to become in-game: a killer. Splendid job, Sam.
So, yeah. I thoroughly enjoyed this demo. Cheers, mate! Can’t wait for more.
Edit: One more thing: having us fail at first simply added to that hatred for our mother. Our character’s physical reaction to that drives our goal home and sets up just how broken she has made us/them.