Mass Mother Murderer [8/14 Chapters, 106k words]

nonbinary-inclusive
gender-choice
young-adult-fiction

#1028

1000 comments on the Pure Evil Thread got me like

rsz_mr_burns_evil_7487


#1029

Uh, did I post this here yet?

FB_IMG_1533094805242


#1030

Spartans of that generation were all geneticaly modified man, so it’s a stupid question for a spartan to ask, they were basicaly space marines


#1031

Ughhh, you take all the fun out of my beautiful memes.


#1032

MAJOR UPDATE:

Chapter 7 is now on the demo. It amounted to 9k, which brings the total word count of the demo to 102k and the play-through length to 45k. I’d say this is arguably the most emotional chapter yet. There are currently two options that I haven’t written yet, but when I’ve completed those tomorrow, this chapter will be 10k.

Now, towards the end of the chapter, there’s a choice that will make you lose stat points no matter what. This is intentional and done to show the level of power that Edina holds over the MC.

All that said, I hope you enjoy! As always, feedback, comments, typo spotting, and bug spotting are much appreciated.


#1033
Typos:

Yhis is too important for you to get caught.

This

You really hope the bees trapprd inside are still alive.

trapped

Being attractive is nothng but a curse, child.

nothing

You weren’t lying when you said this was the most emotional chapter yet, like damn. It was sad, disturbing and enraging all at the same time. I did not expect those guards to go tell on Garad first of all, and Stefen has managed to become more annoying than ever. Then that flashback with Efastia, I felt so bad for her, poor girl. Edina being a self-centred abusive asshole as always, and I particularly loved how the chapter ended - as if we didn’t know shit was serious, we do now.

Also, this is the only game I’ve played where I’m hoping for my MC to ultimately die or something so the world they live in can be a better place (whether any of it’s their fault or not). After they rid the world of that horrible mother of theirs, of course. Both of them are beyond all sorts of redemption.


#1034

I don’t want my MC to die, I’m attached to it. I really hope there will be an option for it to escape.


#1035

I understand what you’re saying. I feel sad for and hate the MC at the same time. When I started the game I did want him to be able to escape and evade capture too, but as it goes on I’ve come to believe that even if he is successful in killing his mother, he’ll continue killing others and never truly be at the peace that he seeks. In my opinion, it’s better for him, and for others, if he dies; or at least, is captured and confined for lifetime.


#1036

Continuity error:Edina is thirty-three in the stat page but is celebrating her thirty-fifth birthday?

Typo's

Back


Abduct

Unbearable


#1037

@soprano
Thanks for your thoughts and for pointing out those typos.

@VainCorsair
Thanks, I’ll fix those. Tbh, I can’t decide whether Edina should be 33 or 35. I want her young enough for it to be fucked up so either one works. :confused:

@frond
I’m so fond of the MC that they’ll be in a trilogy. :wink: But why are you calling them “it”? XD

Also…“adbuct” o___o do I win an award for the most hideous typos?


#1038

Compromise, make her 34

Well you spelled it correctly a paragraph or two onwards so… yeah, you’ll get special mentions at the award ceremony at least.


#1039

@Samuel_H_Young
In chapter 7.

At this point, you don’t even give a shit of you’re late for work.

If

He rolls his eyes and adds self-depracatingly, "obviously, all of this has been fucking with me, too.

Capitalise the bolded word.

She grabs onto your sleave, perhaps for comfort.

Sleeve


#1040

@Samuel_H_Young
Spelling error in chapter 7.

You glance down ate the board, suddenly feelig uncomfortable with your past few moves.

Feeling, at


#1041

Thanks, I’ll fix all of those tonight. That’s what happens when I write 4k words in one day. :sweat_smile:

Also, I’m gonna be increasing all the stat checks in Chapter 7 by 5 points. I hadn’t realized they were so easy.


#1042

I think the ones that are at 20 are fine. My highest stat was charisma at 58 and only two at 20. I have a couple that are almost 20, but other than that most are fairly low. If it’s raised then there is no option to raise anything other than charisma for me, which then kind of pigeonholes my options.


#1043

Hmm, I’ll experiment a little and see what the maxes can be. I want stat checks to be neither too easy or too difficult, and sometimes that’s tricky to do.


#1044

Well, it depends what you’re looking for. In a rational sense, the world would absolutely be a better place without the MC. As far as I can tell, there’s no redemption possible for them, in that it’s not something they want. They want to kill their mother, and I suspect that once that is done, they would definitely keep killing - in a way, Edina is the final thing holding the MC back, literally the only person in the world that the MC fears. Once she is dead, we are looking at an already confirmed serial killer without any fear in the world and no sense of morality to hold them back- fun time for everyone involved, I’m sure.

That being said, in this particular story, yes, I do want them to succeed, and keep being an horrible person. Basically, I do wish for the possibility to have their own, insanely twisted version of an happy ending, ‘and they killed happily ever after’, possibly after leaving only ashes behind, because that game is oddly cathartic in that way.

Seriously, this game kind of scares me. During the last update, I thought to myself “hmm, I could see the MC giving their last prisoner a chance to struggle, just for sport” and this update comes and that’s exactly what happens.


#1045

You all are pretty perceptive. :slight_smile: A powerful, ambitious, and then fearless serial killer definitely wouldn’t settle down for a quiet life after the biggest victory they’ve ever had.

Also, I’ve completed the two magical options when dealing with Stefen.


#1046

So, I just started watching Bates Motel and it reminded me of how a couple people have said that Edina reminds them of Norma. I’m two episodes in and I can already see some similarities. :sweat_smile:


#1047

Loved the update (as I always do) still gives me the shivers though :grimacing: