Mass Mother Murderer (renamed to The Pernicious Panacea)

A dagger would be a good stealthy weapon.

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True, though I’m going to add that to everyone’s inventory as a secondary weapon.

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Poison is another good weapon.

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Well, for one they wouldn’t have the power they have in this village. Their magic probably wouldn’t be that big a deal and if I’m reading this right they’re building up to killing their mother so it’d be a pretty big let down if she dies while the MC was away.

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Edina isn’t likely to die from natural causes anytime soon, but yes, I agree with your point about the MC’s power.

@fennec
Yes, that’s true, though that’s assuming that your victims are found. :wink: Yeah, that’s a good question. I chose to have the MC kill in their hometown for a couple reasons:

1.) They’re the 2nd highest ranking member of the village guard, so they have lots of legal and political power already. People there trust them, so they can do things like kidnapping Margo without even incapacitating her at first. 2.) Since they’re a member of the investigation, they already know about basically everything that’s being done to track the kidnapper down, as well as the extent of the investigators’ abilities. 3.) It’s also important that the kidnappings be close to home so that the MC can take their victims into their house to dress them up, torture, and kill them there, (or at least nearby for the killing part, in the case of “cat and mouse” games.)

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@Samuel_H_Young
When interviewing Stefen, if we are an elemental mage, can we have a choice to set his hair on fire?

Yeah, if you want the whole guard chasing after you. :stuck_out_tongue:

UPDATE:

Chapter 3 is out! Efastia has finally been introduced, and the darkest content yet is revealed. It amounted to 9k, bringing the total word-count of the demo to 33k. The playthrough length is now 18k. As always, feedback/comments/typo spotting/bug spotting are much appreciated.

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Edit: Review.

@Samuel_H_Young That was certainly a tense chapter. I heavily enjoyed that flashback. The choice I made to just watch our sister drown out of pure curiosity was so delightfully unsettling. I could just imagine the MC slowly tilting their head Jason or Michael style as he pondered over how long it will take. You’ve successfully established just how uncaring and psychopathic we are just with this one scene.

Another equally enjoyable and tense scene was the isolation part of the flashback. At first I thought Edina was going to severely beat us, but being totally submerged in darkness with zero breaks/food would bring the demons out of anybody. It was well-written and I loved getting the option to pound on the door and just vent, because it allows me to role play a character with just as much rage deep down as Edina (I think that’s a deeper story oppurtunity).

Now on to the obvious main course.

Wow.

Personally, l think…well, let me get the small stuff outta the way first. The options themselves are varied and I definitely appreciated the chance to never use magic. I not only like more crude options better, the options you presented for those were just plain varied, and, in my opinion, allowed for a more brutal MC to take shape versus someone else’s who enjoys psychological opportunities more.

Okay, so, my actual overall opinion on this scene. I honestly think that you need to pack that flashback with more…bad Edina scenes, basically. I simply feel like if you went ahead and added more and showed us the worse things she’s done to us, just a couple, then it would allow for more understanding of the MC’s actions. Tie everything into the woven narrative, obviously, but just…give us more reason to be angry, is essentially what I’m saying. That way someone who might be iffy because of the game’s overall brutality can at least be like, “I mean, I can kinda see where all this is coming from.” Y’know?

Other than that and a few typos I can’t report because of time (actually was into the chapter so much I ignored catching them :yum:), I love this chapter the most so far. We’re finally kicking off our character and establishing who they are on the outside when in public. A very emotional, gritty and unique take on the fantasy genre is what this beast seems to be becoming. You haven’t disappointed yet, Sam.

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Wow, you were not kidding, chapter three is fucked up.

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Well, you wasn’t lying. Chapter three is indeed dark.

Summary

image
Wait… I’m so confused. Is Margo MC’s mother or the baker???

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The MC dressed Margo up as their mother for practice

Edit: I also found this typo

Summary


You forgot the why

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Yeah, basically the MC captured Margo to torture and kill her while she’s dressed up as Edina. This is so they can become more confident with actually facing up to Edina without their psychological terror of her getting in the way.

@anon89206566 Glad you liked it so much! :smiley:

I can see what you mean about showing more of Edina’s brutality. I thought that the things I’ve shown of her in Chapters 1 and 3 would be enough, but I could see why a bit more could be needed. I’ll have to see what others think before making a decision on this.

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@Samuel_H_Young
How do you write soooo fast!!! :tired_face::scream::tired_face::scream:
I am very impressed.

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Because I hate my day job. :stuck_out_tongue:

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2 true, friend, 2 true :pensive:

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Shout out to @WellHelloThere for dropping about 50 likes on this thread! :ok_hand:

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There’s a bug in the torture scene - you can choose all of the magical options (I’m playing Phantom Magic)
I already hate the mother character, actually I hated her from the start. I don’t think you need to add more from her in these chapters, @Samuel_H_Young.

But I have a problem hating the sister, I’m really having a trouble to be mean to her and let her die. The thing is she’s just a child, she’s not at fault that she’s mother’s favourite. The other thing is maybe because I’m really close to my real life sister, I don’t know, maybe that’s just me. I can’t be mean to little sisters even in games :slight_smile:

The most horrible thing in chapter 3 for me was the self-harm option in the closet scene I could never do this to myself and it was really unsettling. But my character can do it to others, you know.

Oh, I forgot to mention - I love the update, I love this thread, keep up the dark work, man!

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Have you ever considered having the MC display the the Macdonald triad (pyromania, animal cruelty, and bedwetting after the age of five). The animal cruelty part might be a bit much for you since you seem to have a soft part for animals but you could probably include the other two if you wanted to. The bedwetting would probably be another reason why mommie dearest would mistreat us while the pyromania could act as an outlet for all the rage and powerlessness we feel. Maybe we started a fire that really fucked up the village sometime between the flashback and present. Only we were never caught.

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Dear @Samuel_H_Young I think someone will sooner or later call you a nazi, Because what you are doing is Updating Blitzkrieg. :smiley:

More seriously I dont know how you keep the tempo up. This is amazing

Also i think This is going to get Passed throught COG on art basis IMHO.

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@Samuel_H_Young
In Efastia’s flashback.

Perhaps that’s why you resnt her so much

resent

Your mother always treated Efasta like a princess,

Efastia

what sort of torture will you inflict upon her next ?

Remove the space between ‘next’ and the question mark.

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