Mass Mother Murderer [12/14 Chapters, 166k words]

young-adult-fiction
gender-choice
nonbinary-inclusive

#1421

#1422

@samuel_h_young
In chapter 1.

If you stay here, she’ll find you, and probably kill you. You steel nerves and get ready to make a mad dash past her and towards the distant light of the outdoors.

Steel your nerves

Edit
In chapter 9.

He stumbles back with a squeel,

Squeal


#1423

@samuel_h_young
In chapter 12.

“What do you mean?” she squeeks

Squeaks

Edit
In the choice: "Giving her a disapproving look, you jab a finger at her and say, “You have no authority to promise him something like that, and nor do I, for that matter.”

(+1 Resolve, +1 Diplomacy, Cherihl)

The bolded section should be: Cherihil Increases

Edit 2

and it might even be advantageous for you if Garad suddenly become a murderer

Became


#1424

Wow, that cliffhanger. Christ, that was awesome!


#1425

Would you all say MMM is getting better and better as it goes along? Especially as a thriller, that’s a big goal of mine, for the tension and stakes to keep compounding until it erupts.


#1426

There is absolutely no doubt that it is getting better as it goes along. You are a master of suspense, and the way you leave the MC in a spot where it seems like ‘this is it, there’s no saving him now’ with every update, really leaves me wanting more. You have a way of making readers feel certain emotions with your writing, and I think that this story is the greatest manifestation of that ability so far.


#1427

@Samuel_H_Young
Spelling error in chapter 12.

At long last, you stand in fromt of your basement door.

Front

I definitely say it’s getting better.
You’re really building up the tension, especially with the current cliffhanger. :grin:


#1428

Btw, everyone, I’m now going back to write everything that I skipped over – Devero’s and Abella’s other date option, all the sex scenes, and the rest of the “framing Kat” scene. This should all amount to about 35k or so.


#1429

Yes MMM is great, it’s very different to what i usually read. But it’s different in a great way lol. I love the thrill of it and its very long and in detail in my opinion. So ya it’s :+1:


#1430

I’ve been here from the start, observing this for months and it’s only getting better.


#1431

All I ask for is some more relationship time in that one chapter before she has something to say, I romanced Abella and wanna get some happy times together. :wink:


#1432

I’ll be uploading her second date option tonight, and I’ll be uploading the sex scenes in a couple weeks, most likely.


#1433

I’d say my favourite aspect of playing this character is that there’s no half measures. At first I expected that there would be some sort of half hearted moral justification like the “dexter” vigilante thing or multiple personalities. I was pleasantly surprised by the fact that this game unflinchingly depicts an amoral psychopath. It lends the whole story an air of authenticity that really enhances the horror.


#1434

I’m glad you appreciate that!

Sometimes the best villain is just someone who is pure malevolence. The MC’s only justification for lying, manipulating, abusing, sexually abusing, torturing, and murdering people is that they need to do these things, but the truth is that they just want to.


#1435

This continues to be suspenseful! The MC is in trouble now! Gotta stop Joy, deal with Abella (I wonder if there is any way to repair this relationship, will the MC be forced to kill her this game, or will she be an enemy next game trying to bring you down?), and finally confront Mother. Instead of Abella helping to rescue Joy, maybe it was mother?


#1436

Game is definitely getting better, man. That suspense and tension really is killer. Don’t know how you do it. I wish I could write aswell as you. Only thing I can think we have in common, or maybe even surpass, is my fucked up and sickening imagination lol

I

I was not aware of sexual abuse? Is that featured in the scenes that you have yet to implement?


#1437

Yeah, there will be some sexual coercion in Chapter 10. Nothing brutal, “just” gaslighting and guilt tripping.

As for how Joy got away, I don’t have any plans of explicitly stating it in the narrative. But I will say that there are a few clues in previous chapters and chapter 12 that reveal it.


#1438

From the clues in the previous chapters I believe it to be the younger sibling that everyone thought drowned in the lake all those years ago.

:poop:

:wink:


#1439

Damn, I just checked, and the playthrough length for MMM is currently sitting at 69k. This is shaping up to be one of the longest CSGs as far as individual playthroughs go. I’m predicting the total length will be about 210k or so, which means the playthrough length could go up to about 85k. Compare that to 15k in Trial of the Demon Hunter and 60k in The Magician’s Burden.


#1440

bcf
Damn it, I ain’t smart enough to figure it out.

But which previous chapters are you talking about? All of them or the few before Joy’s escape?