Mass Mother Murderer [12/14 Chapters, 166k words]

young-adult-fiction
gender-choice
nonbinary-inclusive

#1339

@Samuel_H_Young
In chapter 10.

Then, just to rub a little salt and vinegar in her wounds

I’ve never heard this saying before.
Where’s it from?


#1340

with vinegar being the same principle.


#1341

This reminds me of the tv series Dexter though a bit different in most ways. Hopefully, we get to meet someone like Hannah McKay or someone like Deb without the incest angle.


#1342

@Samuel_H_Young
In chapter 11.

It almost feels like a waste to orchestrate the demise of someone to interesting,

So

and this small piece of her will be sued for much more important things.

Saved

Edit

Even in the almost non-existant moonlight,

Existent


#1343

Not if we murder everyone in the village!

This is now the only sane and rational path I say!


#1344

Aw, shit. :confused: I just realized I forgot to make the MC infallible.


#1345

I’m not sure if I read this incorrectly or not but you said there will be a choice of fetish for the mc based on past trauma? A drowning fetish and a bondage fetish, might I ask if there is a more sadistic option for RP purposes?


#1346

This seems very accurate to me, and it echoes many of the ideas I’ve been basing my characters off of. You all might notice that the MC is a strange mix between all the characteristics described in the video.

They are calculating, cruel, well respected, and unable to feel empathy like other psychopaths, but they’re also emotional, angry, and vindictive like sociopaths. It’s clear to me that the MC is a very popular character with you all, but I wonder if you like this personality mix or if you’d prefer them to be more cold and emotionless like most psychopaths.

Obviously it’s too late to change such huge factors in MMM, and I also enjoy writing the MC this way. That said, things could certainly change as the series progresses. The MC could become less hateful and emotional after they finally succeeded in killing Edina. I’ve added a poll in the original post so you all can vote on this.

@PaleHorse6
I’m just gonna stick with those fetishes. I want to keep the sexual abuse to gaslighting and guilt tripping rather than anything more severe.


#1347

Heh. I was about to go check out Chapter 11 when I noticed that wonderful piece of fanart. I was confused as to why they looked so young but then I remembered that the MC is only 18. I suppose their very vicious and dominant personality is what made me forget. :stuck_out_tongue:


#1348

I actually like their more ‘emotional’ side, because to me that’s what make them ‘entertaining’. Cold and emotionless characters are dime-a-dozen in fiction, and while I don’t dislike the archetype if done well - in fact, one of my favourite WIPs here basically makes you play one, though arguably the personality is a result of upbringing rather than an innate defect - the sheer rage and passion of MMM’s protag is what makes them unique. If they were just a cold and calculating machine, I dare to say they’d be at risk of being boring, in fact.


#1349

I took another spin. More Garad snogging, yay!

Typos:

Summary

You let the silence deepen between the two of you before shrugging nonchalantly. “Looks like you’re own to me, captain. But I knew you would come around sooner or later.”

You need to stoy Joy’s ponytail away somewhere

With a strangled battle cry, they bum rush you, brandishing their weapons.
All weapons become available except crossbow?

Seems weird that Abella bothers to say that she believes your specter was the noise complaint when she then accuses you of being the murderer, anyways.

So, to some bits about the MC’s psychology and emotions. While I as the player wanna snuggle up to Garad like whoa, I feel like the MC should get some sort of gratification from the romance with him. I chose sex as his secondary drive, so I think there should be some sort of physical appreciation of getting physical affection. I know a healthy emotional attachment is out of the question, but I imagine there would be something going on other than only fantasizing about killing Garad. Maybe something akin to, “This sexy idiot is obsessed with me. I’m irresistible. I’m gonna milk him for all he’s worth before destroying him. I’ll miss the muscles…”

Still loving this.


#1350

I definitely agree on that. One of the reasons I chose this mindset for the MC is because I myself am a hateful, angry, emotional person. :shushing_face: So it’s easier to write from that perspective.

I don’t think I’ll go one way or the other, but rather I’ll probably have the MC gradually evolve into being slightly more controlled and cold.

@obieblu
Abella was really just saying that to placate the MC, haha.

Yeah, the MC has some fleeting urges to kill the ROs, but after realizing those thoughts are foolish, they mostly abandon the idea. Most of the reasons for the MC wanting to date an RO comes down to sexual attraction and finding them interesting in some other way. In the sex scenes, the ROs ask what the MC likes about them best, and I’ll be giving a choice how to respond.


#1351

So, this WIP hits much closer to home ever since an individual, with trails like the MC’s, has become more and more of a topic in my social circles. Fiction is one thing, but to actually have a person like that in your general area is a completely different beast. Quite literary. Lack of empathy and high intelligence is a scary mix y’all. With that said, I just wanted to throw kudos your way @Samuel_H_Young because of how realistic the MC’s is. Disturbing as they are, you’ve portrayed psychopaths with an accuracy I didn’t notice before. :pray:t3:


#1352

Yeah, it’s scary that like 4% of the population are sociopaths and like 1% are psychopaths. But what’s even scarier than that is the billions of plain old shitty people.

Hooray!


#1353

One recommendation that I have is to make it feel more personal if the RO is the one who accuses you of being the murderer. I was romancing Abella and we have a nice albeit strange thing going on, but no mention of our personal relationship was made by her in the most recent chapter when she was accusing me. It would be a nice addition if she reacted slightly differently if you are romancing. (Even if the MC doesn’t really care about the relationship, I feel that Abella probably does, at least enough to make a mention of it).


#1354

This was mentioned before by another tester. I’m gonna add variations and choices for if the MC is dating Abella, but only after I’ve posted the sex scenes.


#1355

I wouldn’t expect MC would change in those ways you were talking about, when MC has gone through entire life being that way. Also, it doesn’t bother me if those aspects of MC mean that MC differs from most psychopaths


#1356

It wouldn’t be a drastic change, for sure, but rather just a bit more nuance. We’ll see how it goes when I start writing the sequel.


#1357

Since Abella is always the one who accuses us of being the killer, wouldn’t it be a little unfair to those dating one of the other ROs if we get extra choices/variations with Abella? Or would all the other routes have the same amount of choices/variations?


#1358

Garad and Abella both have slightly more screentime than Devero or Cherihl. This is because Garad is the guard captain and because Abella is more shrewd than the others, and has more experience than everyone but Garad, so she is always the most suspicious of the MC.

As big of a role that the ROs and romance play in the story, the most important thing is Edina vs the MC, so if Abella and Garad happen to be more involved with that, they’ll naturally be around a bit more.