Seconding @Eiwynn. Everyone may know about Chekhov’s gun and what it means, but knowing about the gun doesn’t mean knowing who fires it, or who is shot or not shot when it is fired. As with anything, correct execution will supersede any potential “problems”. Trying to “outsmart” readers is an easy path to poor execution.
To add on to the other comments, considering that this double agent is supposed to be an urban legend, the way your main characters react or treat this urban legend can be a great moment of characterisation. The way a character feels about this urban legend can reveal a great deal about them-whether a character chooses to consider evidence for the existence of a double agent, whether they dismiss evidence, or maybe they have a personal vested interest in believing or not believing in the possibiliy of a double agent etc. And from your snippets it seems like you’re already taking the various potential reactions characters may have to the rumours into consideration, what those reactions and beliefs say about the characters. Readers who are replaying the story with foreknowledge would be able to see the way these characters treat the urban legends from a new perspective, and hopefully gain a better appreciation of the depth of your characters.
I may have spent time this morning writing up a development journal for the new project so far which is five pages long already.
I have no idea when I’ll share it (perhaps when I first post the WIP thread?) but I tend to forget stuff when it comes round to doing retrospectives and I love reading that kind of thing from other creators. I always want to learn from my previous processes and the successes - and mistakes! - therein so I’m aiming to record as I go. We’ll see how much I keep up with it but it feels good documenting the first steps of pre-production and early production work.
Forgot to say last night, but I did need sleep - plot twist in this case being, somewhat, a combination of “wait, this guy’s been waiting for our signal for years and we thought they didn’t exist” and “wait, we have a high-ranking enemy superspy on our side?!?!”
Good luck!
And then it would turn into a deus ex machina, which is worse. I suppose I’m better off just having the characters be surprised. It’s an early-story twist anyway, you’ll team up later.
Yeah, you’re* not succeeding at this unless, MAYBE, there’s absolutely no foreshadowing. You MIGHT have a good chance of surprising them with the identity of the double-agent or the moment of the reveal, but most people are going to pick up on their existence. If a double agent is being mentioned in the story as a mythical rumour, the unexpected plot twist is if they DON’T exist.
*“you” because that’s the case we’re talking about here, NOBODY is succeeding at this unless the story is being read by like 2-year-olds whose only exposure to narratives is “See Spot Run”
EDIT: The ONE chance of having a foreshadowed super-spy double agent that nobody sees coming is, ironically, if you have two of them. Have the first one be really good and save the main character but either dying or being recalled or otherwise removed from the board, and afterwards have the super-duper one come in when the MC is in unnavigatable deadly straits. Don’t forget to have dangerous situations between those two events where the internal monologue points out that the MC can no longer rely on the double-agent because they have been removed from the board.
I guess that I’ll keep posting here my progress until I’ll come up with a solution.
For anyone interested I’ve got something really worth to check this month.
Sorry about rambling, but I miss my soundboarding buddies and this actually helps.
I went for a walk and got an idea. I think I’ll sell it as a former agent on your side setting up “the Courier Protocols” as a hoax to make the enemy think there’s a network of undercover agents running amok amongst them, thus making them dedicate resources for chasing ghosts (the agent in question was chasing a double agent at the time, thus being cagey about the full details, not expecting to get KIA in the double-agent-hunt), then make a few points where your side is utilizing that. That’d make it a sort-of-a boogeyman (or a group of them) from the enemy intelligence’s point of view (which is not something I’m too keen on giving up, because I love the idea of them attributing everything failed they can’t find culprits for as the work of some special group), but it would, instead, be a successful operation from your side’s point of view, which… should make it look legitimately being a part of the story without bringing Mr. Chekov’s weaponsmithy too much into focus? So when this guy comes out of the woodwork and claims to be “Courier Nine” (who you know shouldn’t exist) and is a high-profile enemy operative to boot (which you know because it’s your job and you’re very good at your job), the reader should have a legitimate reason to think “that’s a counter-intelligence move” instead of “aha, the legendary double agent”. I mean, at least I hope so? And if it doesn’t, it’s not the end of the world. Like I said, early-story plot twist.
Funny tidbits because I'm a detail nerd
“Courier Nine” pretty much means “Harbinger of Doom” in one of the alien languages (“Everyone knows you should never have more than eight couriers on the same mission.”) …I’ve been having way too much fun trying to figure out how they think.
The name you refer to the enemy spy in question in your internal communications is “Carabas”… which they know, although you don’t know why, so at some point they’re going to go by name “du Carabas” to get your attention.
I don’t have any advice for you, but I wish you good luck finding a good (or at least acceptable) solution.
Not for couriers specifically, but not for anything in general, either. Nine cars in a garage would be fine. Nine people of the same rank forming a group to achieve the same goal is the problem; they make only groups (of people of same rank) that are divided by four (and then one superior), so nine would be “two groups plus one person who no one knows where they came from”, or alternatively “three groups but one has been almost completely wiped out”. The problem is extra prominent with couriers though, since they are a very active profession.
I’m so late to this That’s an interesting question about the GM/DMing - I went and read the explanation as to the reasoning behind it and now I’m even more intrigued. I definitely see the similarities in terms of “required skillsets” for both. Also thanks for posting the articles. I love that there’s resources like this to help new game writers (like myself!).
I’ve been heads-down the past few months trying to keep up at my day-job and still write, but am happy to say I’ve got a good result at the end of it - I’m both still employed and have a demo update coming soon
Would anyone here happen to be well-versed in poetry?
I wrote a short poem for my WIP, because I was writing a scene where the MC meets a godess, and I thought, “You know what this scene needs? Cryptic poetry.”
So I was wondering if anyone would be able to help me improve this, as I’d like it to be at it’s best for the story.
For context, the godess is telling the MC to not hold grudges, and to not want revenge.
I’ll put it in a hidden thingie incase no one cares.
The poem
We row down the stream, heeding no deterrent
As the past and the future merge to form the current
I noticed three things that might POTENTIALLY need a bit of correcting:
your last verse clearly uses “blue” as a metaphor for sad, but between your sort-of-kitsune pfp and the Japanese theme of your linked WIP, that might not apply - I’m not versed on the colour associations in Japanese culture, but it’s possible that blue does not carry the same connotation, and I don’t know how local-culture-accurate you want to be.
“blood” and “good” don’t actually rhyme phonetically, so you might want to change those two verses. E.g.: “Vengeance carries with it a bloody toll,/So remember my words, lest yourself shall fall” (“toll” rhyming with “fall” depends on accent, but you get my drift)
A quick check-in with my Japanese discord friend says that they do think of blue as a colour for sadness, although specifically dark blue, so I may have to change the wording. I was also thinking of changing the vengeance/remember lines, but I couldn’t think of anything, so your suggestion is a welcome addition. And thanks for pointing out the comma.
@LiliArch
I have been doing that, but thank you for reminding me.
In all honesty, I’m perfectly happy with the first 6 lines. It’s the last 4 that really irk me.
Incidentally: it’s the 1st and 3rd of the last 4 lines where I stumble with the beats. (But since I don’t know what you’re going for, I don’t know whether or not that’s a problem; it could be intentional, for all I know.)
I started writing today having finished up the coding and stat balancing yesterday! Something so breezy and delightful about first-draft-first-chapter momentum. it’s just lovely to have the push of making something completely new, and the ease and simplicity of it being an early chapter before things get more complex. Last time I was doing this same thing was September 2021 with Noblesse Oblige. As much as I do love to edit and polish, I’ve really missed it! I feel so fortunate to have the chance to write things I enjoy, that are exactly what I would want to play too.
I’m calling the game Project Hotsprings until I announce it properly. It’s not inaccurate - there will be hot springs in there at some stage - but is also vague enough that it doesn’t spoil anything
A week tomorrow, Royal Affairs is coming out. I did a couple more small QA fixes today. It’s getting more real now - it’s in sight! I’m definitely getting nervous, and have been on and off while it’s been in copyedit, but I’m also excited and curious to see what people think.
Lolol I feel so called out by this. I do see your point, and almost didn’t create a Patreon because I was thinking along those same lines. But in the end, I don’t expect anyone to donate until/unless I’ve proven myself and my ability to write and post with some consistency. So, I would be very surprised if I got any patrons before I put up a decent amount of content - maybe 6-7 chapters, or past some significant plot point. I put up a Patreon this early as a way to create good habits for myself and hold myself accountable.
Obviously, I can make good habits without a Patreon, but it also offers some reassurance to people who are thinking of giving their support. A kind of, “Look! I can consistently write/do what I say I can. Your support shan’t be for nothing!”
I’ve also happily donated/become a patron for authors whose work I enjoyed, so I figure, as long as no one’s being forced or pressured into donating, there isn’t anything skeevy or untoward about it. Maybe that’s just me, though.
Rhyming scheme suggests that the poem is meant to be lyrical and metered. Pay attention to the stresses.
We ROW down the STREAM, HEEDing no deTERRent
You can see that it’s a bit awkward to find the rhythm even in the first line, and it doesn’t match the second line’s meter at all:
As the PAST and the FUTure MERGE to FORM the CURrent
Five stresses (compared to four in the first line) and awkwardly placed – it’s pretty clear how much of these two lines were constructed and then bent to rhyme together but without consideration to how they flow.
The rest of the poem is the same – the lines rhyme but don’t flow. Personally I’d rather take the flow than the rhyme.
That’s an interesting question about the GM/DMing - I went and read the explanation as to the reasoning behind it and now I’m even more intrigued. I definitely see the similarities in terms of “required skillsets” for both. Also thanks for posting the articles. I love that there’s resources like this to help new game writers (like myself!).
I do see your point, and almost didn’t create a Patreon because I was thinking along those same lines. But in the end, I don’t expect anyone to donate until/unless I’ve proven myself and my ability to write and post with some consistency. So, I would be very surprised if I got any patrons before I put up a decent amount of content - maybe 6-7 chapters, or past some significant plot point. I put up a Patreon this early as a way to create good habits for myself and hold myself accountable.