This looks like a bug (the -51 cunning)
#“You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep.” You say, shaking your head.
The little boy deflates and Lex glares at you.
"I don't break my promises." Lex tells the boy. Seeing Lex's smile, the boy perks back up chattering with Lex.
*set Lex_relationship -5
*set Citizen_relationship -5
*set cunning -51
*set dark +5
*goto sc12aThanks for catching that! The spelling mistake has been fix and the repetition should be corrected as well. 
Fixed! Thanks for finding that problem!
@rosemary_and_sage This is a bit random, but is your username related to the Scarborough Fair song, or just a coincidence?
I don’t know if I’ve ever actually heard that song before, I’ll have to look it up! But no, it’s just an incense that I like.
I don’t think that’s the problem, really. 
It’s basically this line:
For the the rest of the night the two of you talk and laugh as if you’ve known each other for years.
Basically, before this, we’ve given each other our names, and I’ve told him I’m a boy, and then… that’s it. Suddenly, I’m told that we’re best friends. What I’d really like to see is a much longer conversation here, which can show us becoming friends… 
I think this is one of the reasons I like the scene in the woods at night: that’s what I’d like to happen here, as part of the player’s first impression of Lex, not in a later scene. I guess it’s fair to say that he probably wouldn’t just tell that to just anyone, but that in itself means he probably shouldn’t have instantly become such good friends with the MC in their first meeting.
(Also, there’s a typo: one of the first "the"s should be deleted.)
Another thing I’ve noticed is that most characters don’t get much introduction. As I said, even Lex’s intro could be more detailed, but most other characters are just there as and when they are first needed, without ever really being acknowledged as a new character. Take Brother Lorne: I know he’s the “nasty teacher”, but there’s no real introduction to him; he’s just there being a jerk when he’s first needed in the plot. Likewise, Toby and Jan are just there without any introduction, despite the fact that I’m assuming the MC knows them well enough to speak to them.
You lean past Lex to look over at Jan who is frozen in place. Her face has paled and her hands, which rest in her lap, are balled into tight fists.
Why is Jan so terrified of this? Is it just because she doesn’t want to leave Toby, or is it because she suspects something’s up with the orphanage? And if it’s the latter, why hasn’t she ever told anyone about this before?
“This is Lex. We will be joining us here at the church. Please, welcome him.”
“He”
Lex is quiet for a while before he turns to you and says. “You a girl or a boy?” You in confusion before answering…
I’m… not exactly fond of this as a device for choosing the MC’s gender… 
But either way, it would read better like this:
Lex is quiet for a while before he turns to you and asks “You a girl or a boy?”
You pause[?] in confusion before answering…
*label Chapter2A
I think you need to decrease the indent on the *label here…
Shortly after that rule was implemented she further band the two of you from even sitting in the same row.
“banned”
“Enough is enough. Neither of you is to move your head in the direction of the other. If I so much as see your eyes shifting it will be ten lashes for the both of you!” Sister Luce, snaps.
Her outburst was only met with more laughter.
So, do we get the lash? 
One night there is a loud knock at your door.
I don’t think this is the best way to start the scene, especially on its own page; it’s a very sudden, almost violent start to a much more peaceful scene…
“You shouldn’t move so much. You’ll reopen those.”
I think they’re already open… They need to be cleaned while they’re open, for one thing.
“Allow me to take Maxis’ steed. I will have you results in half the time he has been blundering around.”
Should be “stead”, I assume. A “steed” is a horse… 
But don’t get your hopes up Ging.
I’m assuming this is a nickname for Lex based on his red hair, but I know it’s not really something that would be obvious worldwide…
Ah Okay, I understand what you’re saying. I can definitely expand on that in the future.
There’s not much information I can really give about Lorne or his character in the first scene that would be relevant to the moment. The first chapter centers around events that the MC is able to observe and understand. The second chapter touches a little bit on Lorne’s relevance to the plot but I don’t intend to lay out all the important information via cut scenes or having the main character accidentally being everywhere they shouldn’t be all the time. Lorne’s character now is much like Snape’s character at the beginning of Harry Potter.
Toby and Jan can be met in chapter one if you choose to as around about Lex instead of doing chores. I don’t plan on either of them being to big of an influence on the over arching plot. They mainly reoccur so that Lex isn’t the only person you interact with this early on.
This is mentioned in the back in chapter one if you choose to ask about Lex. It’s also briefly touched up in chapter two if you choose to go find Jan instead of Toby.
It is definitely a ref to his hair. Jokes/comments about red head tend to be more of a western thing from what I’ve noticed. It may not be obvious worldwide but it’s nearly impossible to appeal to an international audience when it comes to things in this nature (i.e. jokes/references in foreign media). It’s not important to the story itself overall though.
Thanks again for the grammar&spelling corrections!
I was more thinking just how the MC would see him, e.g. “He’s a mean old man who enjoys beating children for even minor misdeeds, and has a face like a mashed potato…” or something similar. 
And same for Toby and Jan (at least if you haven’t met them in chapter 1), or maybe you could force an earlier encounter with them (like in the playing section?)
Well, again, it probably needs some extra expanding on, since it somewhat comes out of nowhere if you don’t…
I know; I’m probably from the place that started it…
Ah, I see. I can probably go in and find places in the first chapter to insert these kind of changes.
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