Luminia: The Sealing (WIP) (Updated 2018-03-12)

high-fantasy
gender-choice

#1

Being an orphan is never easy but it does get easier. Well, at least it does until you lose your adoptive uncle, join up with a rebellious huntress, find a runaway royal, and befriend a flirtatious cleric. What else could go wrong?

So, I’ve been kind of working on this game for the last few months. Slowly, of course as I get learn the coding and etc. Telling the story has been interesting because the plot and all the characters are all derived from a story I had come up with years ago. While it’s been fun to interrupt this story as a multi-route story it’s still difficult to hammer in what aspects I really want to include, what needs to be included, and what can be thrown away. But that’s a struggle with writing any story I suppose haha. Anyway, I figured I would post what’s done now since I feel confident in what I’ve written so far.

Feedback is always appreciated!

Also, I will give a trigger warning right now. This story does include violence and also abuse directed at children. While none of which is extremely graphic, it may be triggering for some people.

Play here!

Recent Updates

2018-03-12

  • Spelling errors corrected
  • Text repetition fixed
  • Stats corrections made
  • “Find Toby” option now playable
  • Chapter 2 complete

2018-03-11

  • Chapter titles added to story
  • Chapter 2 now has a fully playable route
  • Changes made to some scenes in chapter 1
  • Minor changes to game timeline
  • Error/grammar/spelling errors
  • Stats corrections

2018-03-08

  • Error/grammar/spelling corrections

#2

Im enjoying the premise of the story, I cant wait to see what`ll happen next :grinning:


#3

I enjoyed the demo a lot! Interested to see where it goes.


#4

It’s so cute rn but I can’t wait to see what the rest of the story holds


#5

A promising start on a different theme, will be interesting to see where the story goes. I like your writing style. :smiley:


#6

The demo was so cool!! I really love the premise of the story and Lex seems like such an interesting character! I wonder what he meant when he described his village as “real” and the church as “not real” :thinking: mysterious~


#7

Loved the demo! Interactions with lex felt real and i think i got attached to the boy ( please dont kill him :sob: )


#8

You just raised the death flag yourself. Law of Manga #36 : “The point where a person’s death becomes highly probable or unavoidable, due to something that he or she has just said or done. May also refer to the phrase or action itself.”
@Latraytray


#9

good thing this isn’t a manga :smirk:

anyway i love this so far! lex is best boy
found an error and some typos, which can be seen here!


#10

I can presume that there will be a lot of angst in this game. Count me in! I caught a few mistakes. Although… I don’t understand why that they wouldn’t allow MC and Lex get along with each other… :>

Is… Brother Maxis… our adoptive uncle? There weren’t enough scene that have him in it ((or at least, the one I chose))

Summary

image
obviously
image
understand
image
truthfully


#11

Just some typos I found









#12

Love your demo :grinning:
Can’t wait next update …


#13

found a bug:


#15

The synopsis made me take a liking to the game but actually playing thought the demo made me love it! The mc and Lex’s scenes together were adorable. I also like your writing style, it flows like water :cherry_blossom:.


#16

Not another cute, doomed best friend… :scream:

I’m… a little weirded out by how quickly Lex seemed to take to me, actually. :confused: One moment, he’s surly and scowling, and then the next we’re best friends… The woods at night scene was well done, but I really think the story needs more stuff with Lex earlier, especially in the first meeting scene, because I’m really not feeling the friendship… (and its usually quite easy for me to do that… :sweat_smile:)

Click for typos

Thankfully, Sister Luce believe you and you won’t be doing extra chores tonight.

Should be “believes”, but more importantly, why does it matter whether she believes me when I actually have the work ready to show to her? :confused:

The Brother’s and Sister’s ate their meal at a large half-moon table that was situated on the raised platform at the head of the room.

“Brothers and Sisters”

Strangely, were at their chair this even, despite there being two plates set. It was not strange for the pair to often leave the church to head to town but there had been no word of that as of late.

Should be “neither was at their chair this even[ing]”

(“Even” can be used for “evening” if you’re going for a more old-fashioned style of speech, but you’ve mainly been using more modern language elsewhere.)

I don’t under my feelings for him but I’d be lost without him.

“understand”

A hand on your shoulder pushes you firmly back into your set.

“seat”

“You will face your punishment for then.”

I assume this should be “them”… :thinking:

You take s cloth and dip it into the water.

“a”


#17

Love this, looking forward to seeing more!


#18

Seems interesting I can’t wait for more


#19

@ParrotWatcher watcher That sounds like a stats error on my part. I’ll review the code and this inconstancy should be fixed when I do an errors update either today or tomorrow.

@LordOfLA @guardsman000071 @Umbreonpanda @komorebi

Thank you all for the grammar/spelling corrections!


#20

Hello,hello. Just popping by to mention that there is a new update for the game with new story content play through.

For a more detailed list of what this update includes be sure to check the first post.

:grinning:


#21

Here’s what I found


It should be too

Repetition