Lost Lambs (a murder mystery where you play as the killer!) (WIP - updated 7/31/21)

Thank you! And yes lol, I wanted to make a completely disinterested assassin an option. I think there’s something funny about it too.

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I think what I like about the story is how how the personalities are

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Ohhhhh. Now this is something I can get behind. Role playing as a cold blooded killer with a sadistic streak who is out for revenge, and playing the nice guy? Yes please. We love a good villain story in this house. Hell yeah!

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Omg I’m so sorry!! I completely forgot to post my response to this! There is actually a choice in the next chapter to choose whether you drink or not :relaxed: I definitely don’t want to force players into drinking if they don’t want to!

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hey! i hope you’re having a great day!

i just wanted to say that even though only the prologue is up, i adored what you have written and the options included in order to make the character you’re playing as really come to life. this is an incredible concept and i’m loving the lamb to the slaughter imagery <3

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I came running as soon as I saw the premise. Love what you have so far and excited for more.

Feedback; Stats. I just woke a guy up from his sleep just so I can see the fear in his eyes as I slit his throat. And the “coldblooded” stats raised just by 2%. Changing stats so meagerly can be dissatisfying. It’s generally advised that the initial “get to know the MC” choices change stats at least by 10%, if only for visual satisfaction. I found this post: patterns-in-good-bad-games very helpful for the little things like this to look out for when starting out. Oh, and there’s a fairmath calculator you might find useful; fairmath-calculator-online

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Thank you!! I’m so happy the options make the player character feel more alive! As much as the pc is your own character, I want them to feel like an actual person in the world. I hope you’re having a great day too :black_heart:

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I came running as soon as I saw your name!! I love your game so I’m kind of choked up right now omg.

So thank you so much for the feedback and the links! That’s so helpful especially since my stats are all over the place at the moment. Anything numbers is difficult for me lol so I suspect I’ll be using the calculator a lot. Thank you again!! I really appreciate it!

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Hhh I don’t deserve the praise but thank you :flushed: And good luck!!

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Hello! So I’ve finally done it and updated with Chapter One of the demo :blush: I think the demo’s gone from around 7k words to 28k so there’s a lot more now! Very nervous about this update lol since it’s the most writing I’ve ever shared before and dialogue’s not really my strong suit :sweat_smile: but as always, would love to hear your thoughts and feedback!! I still need to iron out a few of the stats, add the letters, adjust some pacing/flow issues, etc so I’ll def return to this chapter later. Let me know if you see any typos or errors! Thank you :black_heart::black_heart::black_heart:

Chapter One update includes

  • contract details. feel free to tune out
  • more murder (optional)
  • some very obvious cameos
  • cover story time!
  • meeting the first ro, song, torture them with olives
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Great update. Love my men with just a little bit of bloodlust, what can I say? Maybe that says something unfortunate about me personally :joy:

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haven’t finished yet but idk man, albert hella sus. :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

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Incomplete sentence in first line.


“I am feeling benevolent today” ?

I have a question. The setting, the era it signifies, it’s not mideaval era as suggested in the demo. Also, when conversing with Song, there’s mention of a gun. So I believe it’s a few centuries post the medieval era before the or very near the French revolution timeframe?

Apart from that, the pacing and immersion are true to the mark. Really like the internal dialogue MC has regarding their psyche.
Keep up the good work🍻

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Is Dion secretely Dance?

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Can be as a final test to see our mettle as thier protegee

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Then why pair up us with Song in the first place. Unless all the guests are assassins too and it’s a contest to be the last one surviving :scream:

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Maybe Song was another of their students unbeknown to us, and Dion used a different name while training them, so Song doesn’t identify with the name Dion while we’re chatting in the pub.
And Dion wanted to see how they’re two promising students do against the most difficult and strange assassination both of them have ever encountered till now. That might explain the pairing up.
I do like the last man standing point of view you put out. Atleast Quinn, Sussana and Kiran will bring something to the table, adding more suspense, I believe.

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This is A really interesting story even but your cover Ups are not convincing I mean An aristocrat invites u an English blue blood would be a no brainer to pose as a Aristocrat yourself right? The other cover Ups just don’t convince me

(whisper) Hail Sithis

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Could u put update dates on the title or do you not have the permission yet?

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The pacing, the prose, the plot, the mc, the characters. All just.

I’m growing attached to my mc. I named him August. A soft name for a soft looking person who’s anything but.

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The questions with Song part, does all questions need to be asked to move on? What if you don’t want to ask some of them? Also there’s a code error somewhere, questions I’ve already asked popped up as available again after asking about family.

Oh wait, you can skip some questions, there just was a weird loop somewhere.

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