Okay! Update time! I still can’t believe how quickly Monday came around XD I’ve been as busy as my cat that’s going out to look for his queen (This isn’t a joke)
Anywho, busy as I’ve been, I’ve been doing my absolute best to READ and read I have! Let’s get to this week’s accomplishments
A whopping 13K words have been rewritten with an additional 4K words added. I once again apologize for my 5 am brain writing </3 You will now be subjected to my 3 am writing
5 new choices have been added and the pendant, again, has been given importance.
Only read if you've read chapter 3
The Pendant has now been blamed for all your shitty behavior with Marcus/Melissa in the past, and is also the reason why the 6 years after loosing Hayes were such a blur.
The Shop has been fixed! From the next update, you’ll start out with just 80 Hex.
The Knife gun has been given a slight upgrade as well!
That’s pretty much it, Protraits of human Alex have been done, Alice’s are underway! See you guys next week!
I’m curious about your project.
How much progress do you think you’ve made in writing it? Is it officially in beta now, or is it still very much a work in progress?
Are you looking for feedback on the content, such as suggestions for improvements or proofreading?
Thanks for sharing, and I look forward to hearing more!
Honestly I’m really torn between dividing it between two books. If I don’t divide it, it’ll easily hit 1Mil+ words, and in that case it’s close to 25%. If I do divide it, it’s close to 50% completed, I need to introduce two more RO’s and expand on another. So I’d say it’s a very very early work in progress (I’m also torn between just rewriting first chapter because reading it makes me want to bash my head XD But I won’t, hopefully after I’m done with chapter 4 which will be close to 30-40K words and will hopefully be divided into 4-5 sections.)
For now, it’s feedback on the content, suggestions for improvement, to know where the game goes slow and if there are coding errors. I think I’ll have to churn about 2-3 more rewrites before I work on it’s proofreading <3
Dividing your book into 2 volumes could indeed allow for a more elaborate exploration of your characters, story/themes, especially if you’re aiming for a substantial word count.
Pondering your thoughts, I have a few thoughts to share:
Rewriting the first chapter if you’re not fully satisfied with it makes sense. Establishing a strong foundation is C.R.U.C.I.A.L; it’s better to get that foundation right and draw in as many readers as possible. Nobody wants a lame start!
Chunking the longer chapters into sections is a smart strategy.
Doing multiple rewrites before focusing on proofreading sounds like a smart move. Refining the content first is key; editing is essential for clarity and coherence. Each revision allows you to refine your voice. But the the truth is, you’ll never be perfectly happy.
By the way, how are you finding the ChoiceScript engine? Is this your first book?
In the meantime, wishing you all the best as you power through the next chapters!
This my first novel, yeah. I’m finding the engine uhh… Hard XD I while ago (week or two) I corrected a mistake which took out almost 8K words and saved me from a lot of rewrites. Though it’s going to need to be coded a lot. Gonna struggle not to bash my head on this one (As you have noticed, I love giving my self brain injury by bashing my head around allat…) (For all intents and purposes this is a joke, I have only bashed my head a handful of times and I do not suffer from a brain injury… Maybe.)
Problem with that is the first chapter is 40K word long (Chapter 2 was 100K long and took me like… 2-3 months to rewrite) and it’d take at least a whole month. I shouldn’t have released the book without being more experienced but then again, releasing the book gave me that experience (Hence why I think FDS is a much better written book XD)
I know the mistake I made here (Which was extend the back story of the MC and create a relationship with a childhood friend instead of just outright saying “Well, you’re both friends” it did have it’s pros and it did have it’s cons. I also kinda regret giving each character their own chapter to properly show how they acted and who they were instead of introducing all the characters in the span of 1-2 chapter (Keep in mind, first two chapters are 140K words long lmao) but oh well-)
True, I’ve heard a lot of people go “Tolkein started at 45” but that’s kinda not true cause he spend the previous years gaining experience and working on the lore XD But yeah, it’s true that I won’t be perfectly happy with what I write
Anyways, it’s almost 6am. Gonna get some sleep, see you next week <3 (Or tomorrow if my internet’s not cut off lol)
The more immersive the reading experience, the better. Chapters spanning 100,000+ words each sound absolutely divine. What a delightful prospect for any avid reader or writer. Anything below a million words is a snack.
I don’t wish to monopolize your attention any further tonight, so I won’t throw more replies on you.
Good night and thanks for the chat. Dream of your magnum opus!
I dunno. I gave it another read through, and again, I felt my character was pre-written and I could only slightly deviate from the intended personality. Without any input from the reader at all, you’ll get scenes crying, stuttering, and being comforted by your childhood friend without any choice as to how you want to act in those situations or automatically looking so miserable about how weak you feel both the principal and Alex/Alice just look at you with pity?
It genuinely feels like the MC can’t do anything without Alex/Alice, I think that’s my big gripe so far. Every time something happens (MC nightmare, being bullied up until the fix and even now they still jump in, being consoled at the start, being consoled after the chat with the principle) they are always taking the lead and comforting/helping you which makes the MC feel coddled and weak.
My stats say I have high Harsh/Intimidating/Dominant but most of what I see is my character crying (the second bottle it up option when meeting Virgil still has you cry anyway) feeling completely unconfident in themself or just being very passive. The only dominant-specific interaction I saw was when I could answer a teacher by myself, but I didn’t end up reading much further anyway since I felt frustrated again.
I think this just isn’t for me, really. Good luck with your project though.
I mean that is alex/Alice’s personality, trying to comfort the other person in any way they can. As for the crying part, in chapter 1 they’re children. Like, I’d say 12? Maybe 14?(I can’t remember cause it’s 4 am here lol) so yeah, the Mc and Hayes are gonna cry cause they lost some loving parents.
I’m gonna wait for like 2 or 3 more people to tell me if they have the same issue before I do change out that part. (I mean, no matter how emotionless you are, loosing a father who loved you dearly is gonna hurt, that’s like, not flinching when you’re being smacked lol)
The game is very WIP so I do apologize it wasn’t up to par/expectations. Thanks for all the feed back and hopefully if you 3ver come back, you’ll enjoy it more ^~^
Hmmm, looking into first chapter there are quite a bit coding error and I’m over all unsatisfied with how it’s written. It’s okay-ish but not as good as I want it to be XD So with that, what do ya’ll think?
Rewrite Chapter 1 First
Continue on both (I need me some John/Elizabeth X Marcus/Melissa action)
Hello! Super sorry if it has been asked before… ohh nope, it actually was asked before back in April 2023, but I’d love to get a new info if possible ><
What about poly/harem route with all four ROs? Is it still possible? Or only some combinations? If so, could you please reveal which ones?
Uhh, there were plans for a poly/harem route with all four of the RO’s but with the introduction of two more RO’s, there won’t be one any more, instead the plans (that maaay change in the future) are
John/Elizabeth x Marcus/Melissa
Vale/Valerie x Marcus/Melissa
And
One of the new character who hasn’t been introduced x John/Elizabeth x Marcus/Melissa
These are a big on might and they might change later. The rest, Alex/Alice and Vigil (also a might on Vigil lmao) don’t like sharing XD
Soooooooooooooooooooooooo for no reason I gotta ask…
can we shove certain ROs in the closet together? (play matchmaker and encourage them to romance each other) If mc romances someone else? Like say Val and Blaine?
Hmm, I think I already released the short story where Valentine gives the MC a crown thing but made of flowers (I forgot what it’s called XD) and if the MC ignores it or is rude to Blaine, Vale would give it to them instead.
I’d say yeah, in the future the MC could play a match maker, maybe even with the RO they’ve chosen to make certain characters fall for each other!
13K words were rewritten and the book is now 240K words long (without code) and 260K (with code)
About 4K words were deleted. (I think more? I couldn’t tell ;- and 6K words were added.
There is now a route where you can choose so Marcus/Melissa are more confident with the MC (will be posting sneak peaks about those on my Patreon!)
Only 16K words are left.
I uhh… don’t think I’ll be able to finish it on the first, probably the 2nd or 3rd so I’ll have to push the release date for Patreon on 5th just to be sure and the first of next month for Public just to be sure.
Oh yeah, I forgot, you can make Blaine and John/Elizabeth romance each other too, it’ll be out in the next update (well not this update, this one’s just a chapter 2 rewrite)
Update!
Man, this week was aweful. Not too bad that it’ll make me have to increase the deadline, but enough that it makes me consider it XD dw though I pulled through. The Patreon will still be updated on the 5th. DM me if you wanna play test it first <3 (Yes, this is me asking for beta testers lmao) Alright, so let’s start with update.
A lot of bugs and errors were fixed.
I’m deciding to leave a few options as “To be written” since it kinda got too much.
Chapter 2 part 2 was 39K long. I deleted 5K+ words (like whole options.) and wrote new ones and now it’s 45K long… (Fml.)
I’m deciding to leave a quarter of chapter 2 part 4 alone for now, mostly cause I wanted to focus on the juicy bits with Blaine.
(Behold! Something that I spent 3 Effin days on. It’s not great but it’s good enough for me currently XD) This is the route in which the MC’s shy.) (Spoilers: Blaine will seek out John to be more dominant in the relationship if you go down that path.Which is cute cause you can literally flip em as easily as flipping a burger lmao)
Going to go through the playthrough for the last few days to check if everything’s alright.
This update was… tiring as shite but it was also nice. I’m glad that I was able to do it. and I’m REALLY glad that ya’ll voted to continue on chapter 4 XD I don’t think I could go through another re-read. Thanks again you all, and I hope you have a wonderful day~
and 6K words were added.
