Now, this is just me, but I probably think the bethrowed is more interested in getting to know us as a person rather then via our reputation. Sure, we won multiple medals, we’re a war hero, but she’s more interested in “if we are a right match for her”, hence why her interest in us grows if we successfully bond in our first meeting.
But that’s my point. I don’t want to be liked because “Hey, he got the Gryphon of Rendower, twice I might add.” I want to be liked because “oh, he’s a charming lord” or “oh, he’s knowledgeable” like any other normal baneblood person engaged to another baneblood. I personally wouldn’t hold it against the bethrowed or her father if they don’t acknowledge my military career. I rather be acknowledged of that in appropriate settings, not all the times.
Hence my ‘appropriate settings’ phrase.