Stuff I noticed, probably nitpicky
Should have a comma where I’ve marked.
“Role model citizen” doesn’t sound right, I think you should just stick to model citizen or role model, honestly.
I could be wrong about this and it’s fine as it is but since it’s dialogue it would look better if he said “he slash him” rather than using punctuation.
I’m super glad you dialed it back a little when it came to the dashes and lengthy sentences. It makes everything you’ve written much easier to read and I enjoyed it a lot more this time round!
I’m personally not bothered by Eddie being genderlocked (since we, the MC, are not), but I think you’re better off giving the choice of them being either male or female just to avoid situations like this (see: above).
Also, I felt it rather strange that Eddie himself didn’t address that he was talking to himself in a public place, which I assume most people would find odd (unless I missed that part, then nevermind. I tend to skim a lot ).
That being said I quite like their character so far, and I’m looking forward to what comes next!