League of Mercenaries: Asia Demo (To be extended)


#1

Hello world. Consider this the first game in choice script I find acceptable to show off. Lolz. It’s the demo for my project League of Mercenaries: Asia. I plan on taking this on as a series. Where League of Mercs will expand to other continents/countries considering it’s a worldwide society. Anyways, enough speaking. Here’s the link http://dl.dropbox.com/u/82304071/League%20of%20Mercs%20Demo/My%20game/index.html

p.s. I will expand on it more so check back every once and a while for the newest updates.


#2

well ron it seems…interesting. Id like to see a european/american version later. Umm not much to go off of but im interested.


#3

The exposition is rather clunky, as is the prose, and the stats don’t seem to work very well, I start out with no skills in anything and managed to get -5 honor. Still, I’ve seen worse, and the idea seems unique enough.


#4

Why are the names only specifically in Japanese and are not more diverse?


#5

@mistylavenda Well, even though the title says Asia, maybe I should make it more apparent that it’s based in Japan. Sorry lol.

@Antitorpiliko I understand. I mean even though I had a basic plot thoughtout to an extent. I did just start actual programming yesterday. This is definitely no one near where I plan on ending the full demo alone lol. (I’m pretty ambitious)

@13ventrm Thank you actually I’ve been thinking about the stat system a lot. I was going off of the fact that you are still a little kid with basically no experience doing anything. So other than basic life stats I may add later. The current stats are probably going to stay at zero until you get farther along and start actual training. And a note on the honor thing. I meant for negative honor to kind of be a evil side and positive to be good. But the more I think about I should probably change that around and use opposed pairs on the honor chart. starting at a neutral 50 and either going down or up towards evil or good.

Thank you all for the feedback and I’m constantly improving on this project. Any more thoughts come up please don’t hesitate to email me or post them here. :stuck_out_tongue:


#6

Cool


#7

The demo has been expanded by one scene. The Underground. Where you find out more about your uncle and some life changing choices are made. Until you eventually make it to the entrance to the suspicious entrance of The League’s HQ. Also minor changes have been made to the previous scenes.

@Fujin Thank you :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:


#8

First a good concept, although the flow of the writing needs a little work. When using foreign cultural concepts you might give a little insight as what the meaning is, that is if it is not transparent by the flow and meaning of sentence. In other words if a reader has to open up another tab to get the meaning of a word, that will detract from your story.

Besides a couple of grammar issues, this is not a bad first draft.

I am not that picky with a stat screen in a demo version (I’m doing the same on a project that I am finally starting). With that said a little forwarning might be nice in the intro text so the people will generally focus more upon the writing and give you feedback where it is needed the most.

Looking forward to seeing more.


#9

@Pace675
Thank you for your insight pace. As I believe I said previously the stat screen is a work in progress as is the entire game. And going along with what you said about this being a first draft. I definitely will go back and improve on my wording and structure. But for the time being I am focused on laying down a general idea of the plot. Thanks again for your feedback. Every bit of insight I get is greatly appreciated.


#10

I like that it seems I can be a evil asshole:D


#11

@Mardam Don’t we all :slight_smile:


#12

it was added on to. I must say though Id prefure a weekly update so that its rather large then this.but Im not putting my blood, sweat, and tears into this so do what ever you want. still pretty good, but you changed the before town scene didnt you?


#13

@Antitorpiliko hmm I’m not quite sure what change your talking about. I did add a new scene altogether because I thought it was a better cliff hanger but other parts are going to take longer to just make. I’m definitely not releasing everything in small chunks, that was just something to better improve it as it was now. Btw thank you for trying it out and giving feedback. The only way I can improve is by people doing so.


#14

umm the first play through there was someone killing a girl and then killing a man who was going to tell. and i ran of to tell. the second time i played trhough i killed an animal attacking a girl. it was different. it was before i ever got into the town.


#15

Because Japan is Asia, amirite?

Why does the surname selection feel so familiar?


#16

@ScarletGeisha I’ve got a pretty good idea but still it’s a fairly good game (Demo) all in all.


#17

I never made a value statement. It’s just that it feels so familiar I had to remark.


#18

Syntax error as soon as I opened the link, every time.


#19

@ScarletGeisha @henry_de_awsome
O_O…omg. I was just messing around on games this morning and noticed my beginning was just like another game. Ugh, alright, I’m gonna brainstorm some ways to change that but I’m sorry in advance. I hadn’t even played the game until today.

@drazen hmmmm Try using a different browser other than firefox. Because i’m guessing that’s what you’re using.


#20

@antitorpiliko You sir have both discovered random encounters when in the plain. Congratulations.