His cheeks flush scarlet. “How about the drink for now?”
“If you insist,” you smirk.
She continues to smile and nods, pouring a glass of dark red liquid and setting it on the tray in front of you.
I think this is the wrong gender use here.
So, can I see that sword?" Soren says as soon as you leave Condor’s office.
You proffer it, and he takes it, not with deference but with awe.
There’s the familiar metallic sound when he draws it.
“Wow! This really is something.” His eyes gleam as he examines the blade. “You know, Scarlet Night is one of four legendary cursed swords forged by Muramasa.”
“For real?”
“Yes—Scarlet Night, Azure Sky, Verdant Wind, and Golden Dawn. I would love the last one for aesthetic reasons.” She smirks as she carefully sheathes the sword and returns it to you.
A man in an infantry uniform smiles flirtatiously as she walks past
It’s her gold half-moon ring.
“The ring still looks good.” You smile.
“Of course it does,” Karlen replies. “I polish it regularly and will continue to do so until I find with Ryland and reunite the two half-moons.”
You offer a silent nod. His positivity is infectious. Despite the terrible violence of the war, he still believes his brother is out there. If only you could be so positive about Esme’s fate.
“Thank you.” She beams and prances away, her hair trailing after her like a stream of red wine.
“Hiya, champ!” Jur waves from the table overlooking the narrow alley below.
Karlen giggles as he runs to the only table on the balcony of the Spicy Dragon, your favorite haunt in the city. He and Darina embrace like children. In a way, they are children, you all are—the children of war.
Wow major changes since I last read it, still enjoying it; but just before the big fight my MCs gender was being referred as male and female in the same sentence, also this occurred to the end of the demo, my mc was female if that helps track down the error.
Gunna be honest, I really like the changes you did to this since I last time I read it.
But I really hope I can put a few thousand bullets into Mizrael later.
I appreciate and enjoy the new characters and how you did the new intro stuff. It definitely made it easier to connect with my character early on, at least to me. However, it really made me sad that Kairi got killed, does this always happen or is there a way to save them? If its intended that she dies there, fine. I get it, it would definitely be a good motivator to add onto the Revenge Deathball. But I was assuming I could save them.
As of now I’m under the assumption that they’re either not actually dead, or will come back somehow in the future.
Either way good job on the rewrite. I enjoyed it so far.
The new, slower pacing is super welcome. I also want to say I really liked Kairi in the short time we knew her, well done. There’s some proofreading issues and such but overall great rewrite. Excited to see more.
Are these supposed to be questions? They seem like statements.
Finally, you speak. The words form around your sorrow like rock-hard icicles before bursting forth like a tempest of a winter storm. “I-I’m sorry. I couldn’t save her**?**”
She offers no explanation, no justification. “Her sacrifice will not be in vain**?”**
A living Eden could be pumped for information, so it seems counterproductive to kill him.
By the by it threw me at first to see a male Eden, but looking it up, yep, that’s a thing.
Yes, you can kill him. You can take your revenge on all four of them. (kinda) Mizrael is still walking around, Celes has become the patron saint of the Church of St Celes, Amelia is Victor Loredan’s descendant, and Y is the reincarnation of the hero.
I wanted to stretch things out. And to the contrary, the changes have instead pushed KoE further away from the elements of Reminiscence.
You can. See the blurred portion above. XD As for K, there might be some shenanigans with the rings and the twin under specific circumstances.
Thanks!
I’ll see what I can do.
Thanks! I am glad with K’s reception. And yeah, I really need someone who plays as a female and picks male ROs to alpha test. I missed a lot of pronoun codes.
The Greek gods are out. Going to use original deities. Mainly because of the introduction of the One True God, angels, prophets, etc. I made the choice to set the story in a completely original setting where these beings are original characters.
They are not questions. I’ll fix them. And yes, Eden is the result of my hunt for unisexual names starting with E.