Knights of Evallon (WIP) [Updated 27 Jan 2024, 59k words]

Why do we have the option of non-full-face masks? I find the idea of a bulletproof domino mask rather pointless, as it doesn’t cover the majority of a bullet-vulnerable face. I’d even question why this equipment is made to expose the back of the head at all, if the point is to protect from bullets and not just look stylish.

Also, I think the choices could do with less ‘Eh!’ in them. To be blunt, it’s unnecessary and looks a little silly (To a lesser extent, this also applies to ‘Whatever!’ - it conveys a certain kind of character that not everyone who wants to play a character who doesn’t care about Elbert’s finery will want).

7 Likes

Well found a really short route decide to just kill the retired general and then encountered a forever loading image after jumping into the water.

1 Like

that’s the end

1 Like

I actually love what I’ve seen so far. I hope to see more of your work!

1 Like

You could use artbreeder for character portraits, i was testing the site and i like the results, the pictures look good

2 Likes

The romance with denial is a great idea, i read some games with romance between enemies or rivals, but is always you trying to romance the Ro since the beginning, or not romancing it at all, that’s ok, but if you want to slowly transform the hate in love is impossible because the relationship bar is too low, because you insulted or mocked the RO, or you simply don’t have options to begin a romance at that stage. I can see potential, I’m waiting the next update

7 Likes

@Jonard_Conejar Thanks! I hope I am able to provide options for different types of playthroughs. And yes, I do appreciate the option of being a cold, ruthless killer.

@FabricSeat Thanks for the feedback. I decided to have non-full-face masks for the sake of choice. As for why Twilight doesn’t cover the back of their head, it’s a stylistic choice. Kind of like why Batman doesn’t cover his mouth. This book is not supposed to be realistic. You are right about the abundance of “Ehs”. I hadn’t realized how many times I had used it. I have gone ahead and deleted them. Thanks for taking the time to read and post. I appreciate it.

@Valixon I should probably put some warning in the option itself. But thanks for taking the time to read and post.

@Avid_reader Thanks! I am glad you like it. I will try to update as frequently as possible.

@gindondake Thanks! However, I feel like Artbreeder won’t suit the style I am going for. Hopefully, the artist finishes the pieces soon. And yes, I get what you are saying about romances. I hope I am able to make it work. Thanks for reading.

@FabricSeat Edited for using the wrong gender for the character and the tone of my reply. Like I said, English is not my first language, so it takes me a minute to recognize the tone. I apologize if my reply came across as snappy. That wasn’t the intention and I am grateful for the critique.

11 Likes

Honestly the woman we saved who wasn’t dealing with any of our shit is who I want as a RO lol. Also hope we meet the former best friend soon, literally some of my favorite tropes in one character, childhood friend love, friends to enemies, then enemies to lovers.

21 Likes

Another one for me to add to my collection​:woman_shrugging:t5::wave:t5:

2 Likes

The woman you saved is a major character in the story. Her name will be revealed in Chapter One. I did consider making her an RO as well and haven’t ruled it out.

The childhood friend will be introduced in literally the next scene. However, it’s a flashback/dream sequence. My plan is to show their friendship in flashbacks while the friend lurks in the shadows in the present. They will interact but Twilight won’t immediately identify them.

18 Likes

uhm careful on too many ROs or you’ll put too much load on yourself :pleading_face:

8 Likes

Can’t lie, hope you do decide to make her one lol. Characters that call the MC out on their edginess are great.

Do they hate the MC now, or will how they interact with the MC in the present while they’re disguised determine that? Will the romance also be with them disguised well and not revealing who they are?

7 Likes

Oh, some romantic engagements/feelings being possible before you even know it’s them would be pretty interesting, indeed.

5 Likes

@U-mae You are right. Originally, all the ROs were genderlocked and there were ten of them. That would have made it impossible for me to develop them so I merged some of them into genderflippable ROs.

If I add more ROs, she is number one on the waiting list. You will see her again in Chapter One.

The answer to this is a spoiler, but here it is: Despite being under the command of the Knight of Leo, the Knight of Ophiocus is the most powerful. But they remain outside the hierarchy of the Order and only appear occasionally to kick our butts. Their feelings for Twilight are complicated, but they have no love for Graleans in general.

@Mercz94 Yeah! Maybe Twilight sees something in them without realizing what it really is. LMAO!

9 Likes

Angst possibilities through the roof

Scene where they catch the MC looking fondly at an old item they gave them when they were younger while MC has no idea it’s them👀

11 Likes

Yes

1 Like

Do you have in mind of putting a “new game +” on the game or will it just stay on status based?

1 Like

This was a pretty fun read. I’m looking forward on seeing how this WIP grows and develops. Good luck

1 Like

Something like that.

@Drakona It should be fixed now.

I haven’t really thought about new game+ yet. Also, I am sorry, I am unsure what “status based” means. Can you clarify?

@PrinceJackal Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I appreciate it.

8 Likes

Changelog: UTC 03:42 PM 21/01/2022: Updated naming system, inventory, and around 2000 words of Chapter One.

18 Likes