Knights of Evallon (WIP) [Updated 15th May 2022]

Introduction: Hello, I am Thomas. Knights of Evallon is my first ChoiceScript game. I hope to make this a standalone game while leaving the door open for future stories set in the world. Also, English is not my native language, so there may be some errors. I usually write in the third person past tense, hence the second person present tense is taking some getting used to. However, I have tried my best to avoid mistakes. But please feel free to point them out.I appreciate any and all feedback.

Blurb

We are all heroes of our own stories.

They call you Twilight, the angel of death. You are the world’s deadliest assassin. You are a ghost, a boogeyman, a hushed whisper around campfires in windy nights.

You grew up during the waning years of the Evallonian invasion of Gralea. The genocide, the atrocities inflicted on your nation—they made you who you are. Forged in blood and grief—you are Gralea’s sword in the dark.

The war may have ended, but the scars remain. You have not forgotten those responsible for the destruction of your home, of your family.

The Evallonians have their magic, their king, and their Zodiac Knights. They even have the Last Hero, the chosen one of prophecies foretold. But heroes aren’t born from the stars, they are forged in fire and blood. The Evallonians will learn that when you crush their vaunted Chosen One and his cronies—the Zodiac Knights.

You fight and kill for Gralea, for the Directory, for the Revolution. You believe you are on the right side of history. But what if Gralea is not the Utopia you think it is? What if the Directory is not the paragon of freedom it claims to be? What if the glorious revolution is rotten at the core?

Neither side is above using underhanded and malicious tactics to further their goals. Blackmail, torture, and kidnappings are all fair game. You must navigate this labyrinth of war, intrigue, and shifting loyalties.

Is revenge the only thing that matters? Will you lose yourself in your vendetta, or will you fight for a better tomorrow for all mankind? Complete safety and total freedom—it’s a pipe dream, but you can walk the path of justice, or you can burn it all down.

But there are other forces at play. Ancient forces from a time before time. As mortals fight for the resources of a weary world, the age of prophecies and forgotten gods draw near.

About

Knights of Evallon is a blend of decopunk, high fantasy, steampunk, and urban fantasy genres. Terra, the world as called by the natives, is inspired by the settings of various Final Fantasy games. It’s a world where magic and different levels of technology coexist.

You are a Gralean assassin known only as Twilight. You are deep undercover in Evallon on a mission to dismantle the country and assassinate their national heroes—the twelve Zodiac Knights. They are an order of mystic knights empowered by the ancient magic of the star sailing gods.

By contrast, you don’t possess magical abilities…not yet. But you are fast, strong, and deadly. You are the person for the job. The hopes of Gralea rests on your shoulders.

However, the world and humans are not so cut and dry. For the longest time, the Evallonians have been faceless enemies. But as you live your life in Evallon, spend time with them, you’ll learn that not all of them are bloodthirsty warmongers. They are just people trying to live their lives. And Gralea itself is not a sinless Utopia. There are no black and whites in this world, only shades of gray.

You have the choice to remain loyal and seek vengeance, or you can betray the Directory. You can even forge new paths, either out of altruism or in the pursuit of power.

Furthermore, in the background, there are other, grander forces at play. As you delve into their world, you might discover who you truly are.

But it’s not only about abstract concepts and ideologies. In the course of your journey: friends will become enemies, enemies will become lovers, and the world will never be the same.

Features

—Play as a man, woman, or non-binary.
—Play as a legendary assassin. Follow your orders to the tee or follow your conscience.
—Fight for revenge, justice, profit, or simply chaos.
—Bring stability or plunge nations into chaos.
—Fulfill assassination contracts, help or hinder rebellions, hunt down a serial killer, survive a cat and mouse struggle on a train, marry into royalty, topple nations.
—Uncover the secrets of the old gods and new.
—Side with those who abhor magic or seek magical powers of your own.
—Find love among distinct characters—the gentle but troubled princess, the egotistical chosen one struggling under the weight of expectations, the attractive but relentless cop who has been chasing you across the world, your stunning and kind neighbor with a tragic past, a mysterious figure from your past. (I am considering making more NPCs romanceable)
—You can pursue true and fake romances with multiple characters, but there will be consequences in the third act. Some RO’s will react differently than others to your polyamory.

Love Interests

I am a sucker for star-crossed love stories and many of the romances is integral to the plot.
Note: All RO’s can be romanced by all genders. The last RO is majorly spoilerish(don’t know if it’s even a word). You can also pursue true and fake romances with multiple characters, but there will be consequences in the third act. Some RO’s will react differently than others to your polyamory.

Princess Amelia Maria di Loredan(female):

Silver-haired and violet-eyed, the Princess of Evallon looks like she has stepped right out of a painting from antiquity. Demure, gentle and charming, she is Evallon’s sweetheart. Her charitable work has made her loved even by foreigners.

However, she has a tragic flaw which, however unfairly, renders her unable to ascend to the Golden Star Throne of Evallon. It’s a flaw inherited from a cruel chance of Fate. The accident that killed her brother also dimmed the light in her eyes, but she never let it bring her down. Unfortunately, the Golden Eagle Throne has archaic criteria for ascension.

Count Leone Silas de Sinclair/The Knight of Leo(male):

Leone is the golden boy. He has been identified as the chosen one whose coming was foretold in prophecies from ages past, and he looks the part. Tall, blonde, and blue-eyed, he is the spitting image of heroes of myth. However, beneath the chivalrous patina lies melancholia—a melancholia borne of ego, ambition, and the weight of expectations.

As the Knight of Leo, the leader of the Zodiac Knights, he considers the defense of Evallon and Princess Amelia his life’s work.

He is the villain of your story, but every villain has an origin. His father, his family, his friends, the people—everyone expects the world from him. However, no one has ever stopped to ask him.

Inspector Flavia Belmonte/Flavius Belmonte(male or female):

Inspector Belmonte is on a singular mission.

Umber complexioned and ebony haired, many have been stunned by their amber eyes and made the mistake of coming on to the Inspector, usually to their regret.

Firm and straightforward, they are one of the most capable officers in the International Union of Peacekeepers, a collaborative organization between the police forces from the world over.

On the course of their glittering career, they have solved many crimes and caught scores of criminals. However, one continues to elude them—the shadowy assassin known as Twilight. For the last three years, they have followed this killer’s rampage across the globe to the point of obsession only for Twilight to repeatedly slip through their fingers. However, they will never give up.

Dr. Isabel Celestini(female):

Slim, brown-eyed, and raven-haired, Isabel’s appearance betrays her gentle nature. Beneath her expressive eyes, however, lies a sadness borne of tragedy. Her people, the Roxolani, have lost and survived time after time throughout history. Yes, her people have persevered, but they bear the scars of every persecution.

Long ago, when the armies of the Iron Empire marched across Europa, they waged a systematic war of genocide on her people. Much closer in memory, Isabel lost her father to the culling of her kind perpetrated by the Directory of Gralea, who blamed them for Gralea’s loss against Evallon. Isabel was only a child, but she still recalled the day the gray-clad soldiers lined up her family and shot them in cold blood.

Growing up as a homeless refugee was hard, but Isabel worked hard. She made a life for herself, fell in love, and had a child. Unfortunately, the child’s father, Lykon Mercas, was evil incarnate. The scion of a powerful crime family, he had somehow managed to seduce her. And when their relationship fell apart, he made it his life’s mission to turn her world into a living hell.

Yuna/Yuri/The Thirteenth Knight/The Hidden One/ The Knight of Ophiocus (male or female):

The mysterious Knight of Ophiocus—Yuna/Yuri. The childhood friend you thought long dead is now the deadliest of the Zodiac Knights. They have a million reasons to hate Gralea. Yet you never imagined you would meet again, only to have to fight to the death.

Tall, straight-backed, and powerful—their indomitable emerald eyes glare at you across the battle lines and the strands of their flaming crimson hair dance like wings of fire behind her. They are war incarnate.

A new male RO who is even more spoilerish than Y:
Details about him will be revealed later, there is a chance you will run into him.

The World

Terra is a diverse world. Its civilizations thrive on a combination of modern technology, steampunk, and traces of magic. But it’s also a dying world. The sun has turned cooler and it’s not as bright as it used to be. The moon is broken, and the sky is no longer blue. Instead, it’s a dynamic kaleidoscope of changing colors.

Ascyx is the most sought-after element in the world. The greed for it has led to many wars over the years, including Evallon’s devastating invasion of Gralea two decades ago.

Terra consists of many continents and myriad nations with distinct cultures. Europa is one of the most populated and ancient lands.

Evallon and Gralea:

Evallon and Gralea are two small, neighboring countries in Southeastern Europa. Evallon is an ancient land with a pleasant Mediterranean climate while Gralea is lush with alpine mountains and wind-swept valleys.

Evallon is a developed and cultured nation. Ostensibly a constitutional monarchy, the kings of Evallon wield considerable power. The country has grown fat on tourism and finance. Despite the invasion of Gralea, Evallon is widely held as a beacon of freedom and culture. Many in the world see the invasion as justified retribution for the assassination of crown prince Abel Emmanuel di Loredan.

Gralea, by contrast, used to be an oligarchy ruled by a council of corrupt nobles. Bordered by Evallon to the west and the mighty Red Federation to the east, Gralea has never had allies to rely on. Thus, when the Evallonians invaded, the council had no answer. Gralea’s capitulation seemed inevitable but for the rise of a hero—Peter Zelev. He and his Directory of Commons led the defensive effort and eventually brought the war to a standstill. The Evallonian withdrawal was followed by the establishment of the Republic of Gralea.

At first glance, the new Republic of Gralea appears to be a Utopia where nobility and birthright are meaningless, and the only quality that matters is merit. However, inequality is baked into the human psyche, and eventually, members of the Directory consolidated wealth and power, the elites of the party supplanting the oligarchy.

Unlike Evallon, where all religions are permitted despite the sway of the Latian Church, the Directory forbids all forms of worship. They believe religion brews dissent, and the Party is the supreme authority—temporal and spiritual.

To the West:

The Empire of Britannia controls much of the Western World. Since its victory over the Iron Empire, it has dictated the ideology of the West. However, with its colonies in open revolt, Britannia’s attentions are pulled West, thus leaving their allies in the East vulnerable.

Further west lies the land of Hesperides. Once the center of a great empire, now it lies in ruins among ash and smoke. No one has visited this land in millennia because of the burning ocean, the wall of ice, and the high level of radiation.

In the East:

The Empire of Khitai is a dying superpower. The nation of Yamato has risen to fill the void left in the wake of Khitai’s decline. Only the small country of Hoseon stands between Yamato and the vast resources of Khitai.

Warning

Blood, gore, cursing, violence, mention of human trafficking, trauma, non explicit sexual content.

Official Art

I am still waiting for the art of the protagonists and the love interests. However, here are some pieces of characters in the same setting.








Looking for feedback on

-Bugs
-Plot holes
-Plot suggestions
-Grammar
-Prose
-Characters
-Inconsistencies
-Anything else

Demo
My tumblr I have never used Tumblr before, so I am still learning. But feel free to ask and post over there.
My Instagram I post lame artworks there.

Current word count excluding codes: 45000
Chapter List:
Prologue: The Angel of Death
Chapter One: The Princess of Evallon
Chapter Two: Crossroads
Chapter Three: Voices from the Past (incomplete)

Additional Notes
-Most romances will be integral to the plot and be a substantial part of the book because I love writing romances. And since I am a sucker for star-crossed love stories, there are chances for them to not end happily.
-MC can fall in love with and pursue all the ROs simultaneously with varying degrees of hijinks when the chickens come home to roost. So don’t worry about getting locked into romance routes.

Update Notes 15/05/22

-I would suggest starting from the Prologue as I have made some changes there
-Changes were also made to Chapter 1
-Added Chapter 2 and parts of Chapter 3
-Changed some details about the setting
-Chapter 3 has two distinct paths depending on your choices in Chapter 2
-Overhauled Character Creation
-Added Stat System (Will fine tune it further)
-Added the option to skip chapters. But I will still suggest starting from the Prologue even if you have played it earlier.
-I has been genderlocked to female and will be referred to as Isabel henceforth. I made the choice to do so because it was getting hard to write her related plots.
-Added a new male RO. Details about him will be revealed later, there is a chance you will run into him.
-Added glossary of terms

Looking for feedback on:
-Prose flow, grammar, readability, etc. There might be errors because there’s a chance I have missed some branches.
-Coding.
-Anything else.

636 Likes

@Astralise.Ink love what you got here, brother. Can’t wait to see where this goes. Keep up the good work.

15 Likes

Thanks! I was really nervous about posting this, still am in way.

14 Likes

@Astralise.Ink There’s no need to be nervous. It’s really good in my opinion. And there will be others that like it too. What’s important is that you like what you write and everything else will work itself out. Try to keep strong, brother :blush:

8 Likes

Thanks! I appreciate it.

3 Likes

That was pretty freaking epic to read man. Great work on it. I probably took the shorter route cause I just killed everyone involved but it was still a good read

9 Likes

This was really good read and fun too, love what has been put up so far. Looking forward too seeing more of it, good luck

3 Likes

Thanks! It’s the first time someone has called my writing epic. XD

2 Likes

Thanks for taking the time to read and comment. I really appreciate it.

5 Likes

Oh this is already lots of fun to read! I enjoyed being a smug tease to the inspector lol, one thing is that there are just a few errors with the pronouns, I got these when the inspector was supposed to be male. Can’t wait to read more and definitely impressed with the writing!

1 Like

Very interesting, curious to see where you’ll take the story. Terra is a great setting, love the mixture between tech and magic. Break a leg! and have fun writing. Can’t wait to read more. :muscle: :blush:

1 Like

Thanks! That’s really helpful. I must have missed it. Will fix it ASAP.

2 Likes

Thank you. I am editing Chapter One as I type.

4 Likes

This is really good I can’t wait to see what happens next

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Interested in what you got here so far!

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…Well that’s certainly not the route I expected to be the shortest, lol.

BTW, it’s completely impossible to tell you aren’t a native English speaker, so I’m not sure why you felt the need to say so.

4 Likes

This does look really interesting, I’ll be definitely be keeping an eye out for it

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I do want to bring your attention to an error I found. I hoped you can get this fixed because I really want to tease the detective

1 Like

What I like about this event specifically is the storyline and flow. I really appreciate the work that’s been done and I look forward to hearing more.

@Caspiera Thanks!

@Kxng Thank you!

@geldar Thanks! English is in fact my third language. I wanted to clarify it in case I missed any colloquialisms.

@Drakona Thanks for the report. Are you getting it on the first choice?

@Midnight Thanks!

1 Like