Well… I think you right considering the rebellion going to start at Chapter 4 or 5
but I was thinking that its was only that chapters…not the entire game when I can not go even to the bathroom without someone want to kill or stalking me
Maybe have high perception is really recommended for situation like this
yeah…now I will need perception to see if the toilet have some sort of trap or if someone ( cough melissa cough ) is watching me 
Hopefully she not that creepy…
That includes your RO you know…
disappears
appears in front of her
that is because you RO was the one who started this…dissapears in the shadows
Again, remember to tag her so it’s not get buried
@Vattena @Sophia Alright, I’m putting what I found for now here, since it’s a lot.
Summary
The lake glistened, mirroring the dazzling assemblage of glittering stars.
I think she means assembly.
one was enough
Once?
“It’s a boy, your Majesty!” The midwife says happily.
“A boy?” Victoria exhaustedly asked. “I have a prince?”
“Yes, your majesty.”
Your and Majesty get a capital in the beginning, since they’re titles.
The sun over the capital city of Darvis burned hot on a cloudless spring day
The sun burned hot over the capital of Darvis on a cloudless spring day.
circus troupe displays their skills
Displayed
The King wears a silky, red robe with elaborate furs. The crown, which was passed down by the previous kings, sits at the head of the man. His sword was strapped around his waist. It is said that his blade is covered with the blood of a thousand men that he had slain on the field of battle. His long hair was let loosed; visibly showing strands of white hair and wrinkles on his face, despite being in his early 30s. King Andus III looks as fierce as people say he is as he displays his scar across his face.
By his side is Queen Victoria, daughter of the well-respected Duke of Blanchard. Her crown fits her perfectly, as if it was meant for her. The sophisticated lady wears a silky dress, paired with extravagant jewelry. Despite wearing a dress, her well-defined body is noticeable.
It should be past tense. (wore, sat) Also, his har was let loose.
His air of confidence is what makes the people respect him.
Past tense, same as before.
The cheers erupt
Same as before.
In the crib lies a newborn, his arms aloft as if dreaming of cuddling the mother who stood so closely with.
Closely by.
Victoria holds the newborn to her shoulder and he’s smaller than a sack of wheat
–to her shoulder; he’s smaller than…etc
wearing a set of armor that has a rounded helm with two pointed holes leaving the eyes minimally exposed. Attached to its side are two huge horns which curve downwards. The shoulders are squared, narrow and quite large. They’re decorated with rows of colored crystals and gems.
PT. It’s generally not a good idea to switch tenses midway, but I think there are some exceptions.
“The king?” Victoria paused for a while,
Capital K.
the King weren’t pleasant. Their marriage was arranged politically, and no love was involved
Wasn’t pleasant, and I think politically is redundant.*
perhaps it’s his eyes or perhaps it’s simply his purity. But nonetheless, Ser Javier take pride in serving him in the future.
Was intead of it’s in both cases. Took pride.
"N-no, your Majesty.
Your.
But as time passed, he will soon discover his path.
Would soon discover.
The door opens and you hear footsteps coming towards you. He
There should be a comma after opens, and instead of ‘he comes near’ ’ a man comes near’ might be better
one of the royal knights and
Comma after knights
rough shoreline
Comma after shoreline
"No wonder you look so proud when you talked about your daughter
Looked
Melissa, your Majesty
Your.
Lady Diana noticed the both of you and gently touched his husband’s
The two of you, in this case. Her husband’s.
Javier bursted out laughing.
Burst out.
Javier has been making you stand for a few weeks from now
For a few weeks now. No from in there, unless it’s in the future.
a lot of toys for your pleasure, such as; a rattle, a ball, a figurine of knight
such as: Also, a figure of a knight
form as a flower.
That form a flower, or that look as a flower.
visit is… Unexpected
No capital u in unexpected.
" What name did my father gave to him?"
Give to him or ‘What name has my father given to him?’
named after King Andus’
King Andus’s. Apostrophe after s is for plural.
hold the crib, and looks lost for a moment.
And he looks lost for a moment
He quickly gets his hand back, as if, scared of affection.
No comma after if.
prince to throw at someones face,
Someone’s.
I shall educate you swordsmanship, politics, and chivalry
Educate you in swordsmanship, etc.
and how to do numbers.
‘And how to work with numbers’ maybe. It just sounds a little off.
He brings out a pen and a paper, along with a board showing the alphabets. He places the paper on your desk, and teaches you how to properly hold a pen.
Javier then shows you the alphabet board showing 26 words in total.
Shouldn’t it be ‘a quill, ink and paper’? I’m not too sure, but it seems like it would make more sense for the time period. Also, alphabet. No s unless they have more than one. Again, maybe change ‘how to properly hold a pen’ to 'hold a quill" or whatever is fitting in there.
words, mana is everywhere
'Mana was everywhere,? considering they’re talking about the past.
and where the northenmen
Northernmen? Or just Northmen.
after assembling a hord of demons
A horde of demons.
Why did your lecture ended up early?
End up early.
Who Cares? You don’t need to study for the rest of the day!
No capital c in cares.
as is the cloak that was hanged in your room.
That was hanging in your room.
He holds your hand and says, “happy birthday.”
I think it’s Happy Birthday, with caps in the beginning.
That’s right. It’s your Birthday!
…Nnnot here, though xD
It took days to look for the perfect one. I hope you like it.
To find the perfecr one sounds better, I believe.
A Chessboard. The pieces are beautifully carven with the exquisite jewels attached to each one.
No cap c in chessboard. And ‘the pieces are beautifully carved with exquisite jewels…etc.’ No ‘the’ is needed there.
A Miniature Map. The locations are very precised and you can see the different cities of the land.
No cap m in map. The locations are very precise and you can see the different cities.
The Book of Agia. It is the holy book which contains the Holy Scriptures.
It is a holy book…etc. Or ‘the holy book that contains…’
Magic For Dummies. It’s a beginners’ book
Beginner’s
He puts your cloak and ties your boots.
He puts your cloak around you and ties your boots.
It is entered through a screens passage at one end, and had windows on one of the long sides.
Through a screened passage at one end and has windows…etc.
You have seen this action done by others, but you haven’t been taught of the reason why.
Haven’t been taught the reason why. No of.
as it first shows your growth throughout the 5 years you were born."
As it shows your growth throughout the 5 years of your life.
Wait For The Guests To Arrive.
Only ‘wait’ needs a capital.
Quite known as “The Hunter,”
Well known…
You have heard about him, but it’s the first seeing him in person.
But it’s your first time seeing him him in person. Or, ‘but it’s the first time you see him in person.’
His emotionless face has earned him a name "The Faceless.
The name
Lady Jane, and his two children; Brian and Richel
And his children. ‘Two’ somehow feels wrong there.
Duke Clarent enters with his wife, along with his 4 sons and a daughter
4 sons and daughter.
noticed the boy that was with Duke Velas. He sat down beside you and smiles.
Present tense. (Notice, sits.)
Say Nothing.
No cap n.
"Yes, It’s a pleasure meeting you
No cap in it’s.
- Ser Javier came with your food.*
Has come with your food. Also, maybe separate the two sentences somehow? Like maybe write something like ‘You and the boy were distracted by Javier appearing with your food.’ Just a suggestion.
You ate the food Ser Javier gave. The aroma appetizes your appetite
Gave you. Also, whets your appetite.
Each flavor melts in your mouth, food is always delicious.
Period after mouth. The food here is always delicious.
Queen Victoria, its a pleasure meeting you again."
Seeing you again
“Your flattery goes nowhere, first prince.”
Will get you nowhere. Also, caps in the beginning of first and prince, since she’s addressing him formally, by his title.
“Can you show weird movements with your sword?”
Show me weird movements with your sword.
moves, but you learned
And you learn.
Your mother is just tired after preparing this birthday.
‘This birthday feast’.
If anything I put here doesn’t make any sense, feel free to check again in the internet, just in case. Oh, and when writing, it’s easier to find mistakes if you go to Google Translate, enter your text and have it read it. 
2 Likes
I think “Majesty” at first one shouldn’t be capitalized
Arent the use of past tense should be if happen in past though?
Edit:
I accidentally push reply button
Remember that they go in caps if they’re referring to someone in specific, and I’m trying to be very clear as to why and how when correcting, so Sophia can understand. Past tense is when you write using ‘he did, he talked.’ Present tense is ‘he does, he talks.’ It’s generally not a good idea to switch between one and the other midway. I’ve been writing which tense it should be when I correct it. I think she just writes very quickly, and makes a lot of mistakes because of the rush. I know, it happens to me too.
Managing the Kingdom and keeping it peaceful. If I were to relate it in ck2, his highest stat would be Stewardship. And… He did win against King Andus.
Haha… Yeah… Haha…
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is now scared of the other king
Yeah, don’t worry about mistakes too much. It happens to me too, because of the speed. Plus, I don’t check as much as I should. What I do is: when I’ve finished writing I just shove the text in Google translate and have it read out loud. That way I can tell if something sounds wrong or if I messed up.
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I think maybe King shouldn’t be capitalized
I don’t think “your” should be capitalized, but I unsure
Like I previously said, I unsure about it
How can I miss that? It’s “her” by the way
Obviously since there also thing she forgot
Seems a useful allies
Idk, keep in mind that the text in italics is copied and pasted directly from the game. I think Your goes in caps, but feel free to check again in the net. English isn’t my first language either, and I make mistakes too. 
So is me, i don’t really confident with my grammar that why I think we need more help in that
Yeah, I can tell you’re self taught too. But you’re understandable, which is more than I can say for a lot of people. And you want to learn, which is more than I can say for most native speakers 
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