Kingdoms: Embers In Ashes[WIP] [OLD VERSION]

Oh, ok… :sweat_smile:

Ehem… I’ll be focusing on the female POV until I finish the 1st chapter.

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That means multiple children won right? (I was keeping track) And I can begin convincing you to go with my Weasley twins, female Bron, female basterd Sam Tarly right! :crazy_face: :exploding_head:

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All polls are acting weird. On the whole forum so are you sure you closed it.

Well… \(0_0)/

I dunno. I have too many polls.

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@Sophia

things I found

At #It doesn't​ matter. aren’t there *set humility -5 before? Why it’s not there now? :confused:


Your Majesty


Also I noticed it’s like this:

maybe *goto look_dukes should be after *set wedding_stand "Eddmon", because when I try it I not get the scene with Eddmon.

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Hello everyone! I hope everything is fine.

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Recently found this, played the male side, and decided I’d follow. And leave a little review, and a pleasant story.

Summary

This is the life of Darius. Scholarly, diligent, polite and quiet Darius. Such a kind and talented boy growing up, he was a happy and obedient to his adults. Polite. Good.

As he grew, it became more evident that this young boy was of a high intellect. A master of geography, history, and politics (at least, as much of a master as the stats would make him, so above 10%). He had slowly become more aware of the turmoil that ran in his family, especially between his mother and father. Of the two, he treasured his mother more. Father was a cold and rather scary man. Still, he tried his best to obey both. So when his mother asked him to accompany the young girl Merissa, he of course could not say no.

Over time, he came to treasure Merissa in a way he hadn’t for any other. It was when their marriage was announced that he realized he had fallen in love. He heard her story, and felt as though he were a character in a fairy tale. He pictured their whole lives waiting ahead of them. A future bright and filled with smiles. A happily ever after.

It was at the ceremony that he realized he was not that kind of protagonist, and this was not that kind of story. Watching as his heart walked across the aisle with the man that once he called brother, his best friend, Darius felt something I’ve over inside him. He didn’t feel rage. This was something colder. A more calculated, precise form of hated. Directed and clear.

After that day, Darius realized how him and Merissa got caught in the web of their parents’ games. Unlike her, however, he was not content to be a fly in the web, their fates left to others. He swore to become the spider. To make this web of secrets and betrayal and plots his home.
Even after that day, he never gave up on her. They would have their happy ending. It would just require more effort, and blood, along the way.

From then on, she was the only bright spot in his heart. All else was as cold as his father’s gaze. He came to realize that the only way they would ever be united is if Darius itself had the power to command it. He cared nothing for the throne before, but gen did not have the proper incentive before. Now, the throne would be his, and with it, his perfect queen. No matter how bloody the path to it was, it was worth it for her. His hatred had been fine-tuned into a weapon of intrigue. He dedicated everything of him to playing this game of spiders and flies.
Once, he called that other prince brother. A friend. His closest ally. It wasn’t that boy’s fault of what happened, but it changed little. For in whispered breaths, Darius made a vow. “You, who were my brother. I make my curse on you, and my vow. Once I trusted you as I did myself, but now you are nothing more than an obstacle. You will be removed. I care not how. To have her back, I require you no longer married. And to have the throne, I require you no longer living. If you want my friendship, fine. If you want to call me brother, I will indulge. I will act as if you have not stolen from me my heart. I will give you the happy, loving brother you wish to have. If only to ensure your last years are of comfort. For these are your last years, my ‘brother.’”

By the time his wedding to Sophia came, there was nothing left of the goodness of his youth. He was truly one of the spiders now. And so when he came to alter, he saw not a beautiful woman, but a new weapon in his arsenal. His father had handed him over a valuable tool. A mistake he would come to regret, in time.
For now, he treated the woman with kindness and patience. He feigned respect for her, acted as though he gave her space out of decency. In truth, he couldn’t help but feel disgust for her.
Her anger and hostility, no matter what he did or how much trust he showed, quickly began to grate on his nerves. He kept it buried behind kind gestures, but it was there.
Here he was, diligently working to secure the future. And all she could stand to do was whine about how unfair her life was. She had to marry someone she didn’t love, and that somehow made her entitled to her temper tantrums and acting as if she were the most miserable person alive.
Brat. And childish brat. She knew nothing of loss. Her marriage was inconvenient, not a true loss. She didn’t know the feeling of watching her entire world stolen. She didn’t have to watch the only bright spot left in her world in the hands of another. At a point, his refusal to consummate became less out of indulging her need for ‘independence’ and ‘free spirit,’ and more out of disgust.
Couldn’t she see, if he got his way, if she would just work with him, he could get them both what they wanted? He didn’t care if their marriage was in name only. She could have whatever lovers she wanted. If she would stop the self-righteous tantrums, she might realize that the only way she could have power was as a queen. His Queen. If only she would work with him, the throne would be theirs.

No matter. With or without her approval, the throne would be his. He would consolidate, plan, and murder his way to the seat of power. Once that was achieved, he would finally be able to get everything he wanted. He’d have the power. He could crush anything that stood in his path.
He would finally have the bright future he always envisioned. He would have unlimited power.

…That’s what he always wanted, wasn’t it?

So that story should have probably highlighted everything I liked. The characters are interesting and nice to work with. A real Shakespearean casting.

The downsides, I would say, is the restriction in character development. Most of what my character felt, his motivations and ideals, are just things in my head that the game can’t really use because there was never a chance to tell it.
I remember Choice of Introgue, my favorite court simulator to date, and how much freedom it gave you in how you went t about planning. It allowed you to be proactive and actually make plots rather than just patiently follow story threads. It also never assumed that what you said and believed were perfectly aligned. It always gave you the choice to lie. The only limit was how many schemes you were able to keep track of.

Another gripe is the stats. It just seems like you have way too many, and way too little opportunities to alter them. Having more chances to change your stats would probably help with the whole character development thing.

Overall, I’ll stay posted on its progress. Really curious to see what kind of ending awaits my little Tywin Lannister.

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Thank you for checking out my story and for providing such high-level feedback. :slight_smile:

I’m honestly astonished(and amazed) by your feedback. I’ll do my best to make my readers feel the freedom of choices. :triumph:

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For those who are wondering what the personality stats are for, it is actually for the epilogue.

Foooorr example;

King Reinhardt of House Hyius, first of his name, (Titles titles blah blah… depends in your skills), and King of Skies.

He was known for his generosity blah blah blah… You guys get it.

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:laughing::laughing:

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Summary

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So it won’t affect other characters’ behaviour around/about us?

It will affect others, but I can estimate about 20% - 30% of the story. For example; a noble seeking for power will use your vice or virtue to gain your favor. Another example is; when your mc is greedy, I will add a secret choice to steal gold from the treasury.

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King of Skies? :confused:

sky
plural noun: skies

(20 characters)

I know, what I mean is why he called “King of Skies”?

Oh sorry sorry… Hope i didn’t offend ya. :handshake:

Ehem… There are two kingdoms, right? Rein became the ruler of Lucraex, and the one split nation became one. In other words, the skies represents the Lucrasians and Darvasian under the rule of King Rein.

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Sorry I’m a bit sensitive today :stuck_out_tongue:

Huh, Lucraex​ and Darvis must be really different then :thinking:

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Wait, I thought that was because of a dragon pet or MC learning to fly or magic carpet or broomstick etcetcetc… :slightly_frowning_face:

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Spoiler:

King Elyon died, and Prince Vince dieeeeeeed. Sophia inherited the kingdom, but later abdicated it to the son of Prince Vince.

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