Out of interest, did Astrid ever tell us what she was doing when the gorgon attacked?
Instead you find a relatively ordinary L-shaped common room with two couches, a coffee table, and a television on one of the wall
Should be “walls”.
You glance back, but the door has disappeared behind you, the entire wall uniform, except for a clear glass section near the top.
I think there’s a missing word here. Maybe you could say “…leaving the entire wall uniform…”
Did people already discuss this? Only “magi” is plural, and the singular would be “magus” (or “mage”).
Prerequisites: Elemental manipulation or psychic ability, or department reccomendation
Should be “recommendation”.
Because of her nymph status, most information about her is confidential, but she is known to have abilities in telepathy.
Isn’t her survival of the massacre public knowledge? I mean, I guess it’s not the correct time in the plot to reveal it, but it’s not something that’s only known to a select few, is it?
“Seraphina?” Kol confirms. “She messaged me that she wouldn’t be here until late tonight.”
Was it ever explained how Kol knows Seraphina? Or was it just that he got a message from the school about it (in which case it probably needs to be rephrased)?
The paragraphing in this scene should probably be rearranged so Leon’s sentences are all together. Also, you don’t really need “he notes” after “he scoffs”. Maybe something like:
Regarding the forms to fill in, most of the questions seem to be ill-suited to someone who’s just learned of their power (and doesn’t even know their species yet)… And there doesn’t seem to be any indication that we can just leave answers blank.
“Damn,” says Thalia with a wolfish grin. “How about you, Red?”
Is “Red” Seraphina? It might make sense to note this, e.g. saying Thalia turned to Sera, or “Sera replied” for the next dialogue. Actually, it’s often quite difficult to determine who’s speaking when there are multiple characters present. (I guess Kol’s reply does confirm it’s her, but still…)
Gonna stop here for now; maybe more later…