Katewing's Adventures (WIP) (Demo V1.4 23-09-22)

Haha, yes, his methods aren’t quite standard I guess.

Ohh okay, I thought I had failed to present the character as friendly, I get it now.

Yes, I heard that books based on worldbuilding generally speaking aren’t the best ones, so I kept it to a minimum and focused more on the plot and characters. Once the reader is invested in those things it’ll, most often than not, want to know about the world to be able to answer all the questions that the investment put in the characters has brought up. There’s some lore further on in the game, but some of it it’s also skippable. I tried to dump the minimum enough to place the reader in the world, and as things happen explain along what’s necessary to know.

I also thought to put a lore scene in the stats, but I didn’t write it at the end, I might do it maybe, I just thought people wouldn’t care enough, but I’ll have to rethink that again.

Oh don’t get me wrong, I always intended to publish it. The thing is that at the beginning, I struggled with everything, writing a sentence maybe meant staring at the blank screen for hours. I didn’t know what I was doing, how to create a plot, scenes, drama, you name it. I thought that reaching 100k words would be nearly impossible, but it kept growing and growing, and now I have so many ideas I had to chop the book into pieces cause it ended up being too much for me to write all at once. I know there are books out there with 1.5 million words, and maybe more, that my book seems like a joke beside them, but being my first time doing this I’m really happy to have reached this “milestone”.
From inside though, I’ve always wanted it to be a good popular book of course, if I’m going to achieve it or not is another thing, but I won’t be disappointed whatever the outcome would be.

Thank you for reading it and commenting!

Yeah, I know, don’t worry, you didn’t. But honestly, deep down inside I was waiting for some more harsh opinion about it, about the writing, or something else, I don’t know.
As I said, this is my first time doing this, and the first time I release part of it to the public, so I can’t expect to be the best at it, that’s not how things work. And it’s not helpful if no one says anything, cause I won’t ever know what’s wrong with it and I won’t have the opportunity to improve. So, I really don’t mind receiving harsh comments, my work, in that case, would be to try to put myself in the shoes of the other and understand what’s happening on the other side. There’s always something to learn.

Hmm… I guess that having a fixed past makes her personality kind of fixed also. When I was trying to learn to write I learned that when you make a character, you make it full, like a real-life person, with past, problems, thoughts, friends, enemies, knowledge, experience, and everything that forms it. If something happens you know who is your character, and how and why would react in that particular way, cause you know everything about him/her. I tried to do that with every character, to give them their own personality with background and everything they need to be a fully-fledged character.

I also had to control myself on some things so that the branching didn’t go wild and uncontrollable, cause the story will keep progressing in the next books, and too many variables now will mean a hell of a lot more after. There’s a 2 way very distinctive path you can take regarding some things, but that’s something you learn further on the game, and I can’t say much about it cause spoilers!
Also your relations with the characters affect some of the reactions that Kate has about them when you’re not presented with a choice, and sometimes the 2-way path that I mentioned before also affects. But that’s something you’ll learn later on.

I’ll have to admit though, that writing some types of relationships, and making the characters socialize, is often one of the hardest things for me to do. But I hope I have done it well enough. If you have something to say good or bad about any of them I’ll be able to see if what I intended to portray worked as I wanted or not, cause I’m the only one that knows the full background of them.

As for the goal, in a general view, there’s only one, but you’ll choose what you’ll use it for. Again, spoilers!

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That’s very commendable. Especially considering popularity is hard, as even the best stories get forgotten and cast aside, merely luck more often than not, determining what becomes popular. Honestly as long as you enjoy writing then that’s really all that matters.

I would love to, but unfortunately I don’t think that’s within my capabilities…I can certainly notice from the way you write that you are a novice, but as one myself, it’s not like I can pin-point as to why that is. What people usually suggest is to read a lot of books and try and think why they work, or why does a sentence sound good or odd and what not. The only criticism/suggestion I would think to add is maybe develop Othan a bit more, but that might already be something you plan on doing, as I don’t mean it right in these chapters. More like in the long run. Show us more about why Kate cares about him, what makes her love him (or not) as a father figure besides “cause he took care of me”. Mostly because, at least for me, what draws me in to a story is the connection we can make with the characters in it, much less than I care about plot many of the times. Of course a character driven story might not be your intention which is completely fine, as well as I know you can’t do this all in the few chapters there are without compromising the pacing, so that’s why I didn’t initially comment on it as I don’t know your plans. But well here’s my two cents on the matter.

Yes that is indeed for the best! For now I think you did a fine job with that as far as I can tell. I am certainly curious to hear more about two particular characters, the girl who stole your wings (sorry forgot her name) and Hal (I don’t know why but that man just stuck with me lol). On regards to Kate itself, I don’t really have an opinion on her character just yet, but I’ll just have to wait and see what she develops too. It’s going to be crucial that she works as a character as the story revolves around her, so that’s something to keep in mind I guess.

Well you already know my opinions on Degor, suspiciously nice so far, but that’s not a bad thing per se. Especially if Kate is allowed to be somewhat distrustful to account for players who might feel the same way.

Ben is fine, he gives me sort of a big brother vibes with all his pestering, that combined with teacher vibes.

Othan I gave my opinion above, as well as the mysterious girl (Val I think?).

I think the server is also going to be a character considering the stat page? Delilah I think her name is, sorry if I’m misremembering. So far zero opinions on her, as there simply wasn’t much time we had to spend with her.

Finally, I already talked about how I was curious about Hal, he stroke me as a sort of odd ball, in a good way. Not a good guy, but neither a bad guy.

The other characters in the world are okay, some I might say a bit on the nose with their characterization. But that’s not a bad thing inherently.

In this sort of games it’s very important to give the player choice, or at least a good illusion of such. So having a specific goal is very good and all, but make sure you give the player enough liberty to act and think on how and why they want to accomplish it, not just what Kate will do after what’s accomplished.

I feel the more a game feels like a novel, the less interesting it becomes for the player. Not always of course there are exceptions, and different people enjoy different things. In my opinion, feeling like the choices have a real impact on the story and the characters within, either the MC or the NPCs, really elevates a game to the next level.

Sorry for the long rant, hope it helps. If you want to ask any more specific question you would like me to adress, I would love to answer, unhelpful as my answers may be.

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Yes, that’s why I need all kinds of feedback from all kinds of people, it all helps.
That’s a drawback I know I have, I’m not much of a reader myself.
Othan has almost an entire chapter in which you can get to know him better. We’ll see if that’s enough.
The thing with the first book as I see it is that it works more like an introduction to the world and plot and characters, and then after that, things start to get a little out of hand, so Kate has to take the reins of her life and start to make choices by herself. It’s all a continuous growth of the character, as now you’re sent to do things, and in the future, she’ll have to decide on her own. It’s part of the character progression.

Thanks! And yes, those characters you mention will have big roles, as well as some others too.

Haha, okay, it’s fun to hear your thoughts about the characters, but I didn’t catch what you meant with this phrase.

Yes, I know. Though because this is a series, there are some things that I had to keep somewhat bounded so it doesn’t branch out of control. I kind of see it as a little more linear cause of it, but actually, there are choices, and they affect things for sure.

It does, thank you, and I’m all in for long rants about my book :rofl:

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Ah I see, I see. It makes sense. I was a in a way assuming Othan’s role would still be fairly large in the story, as he would still be a big driver of the plot. Either way, I’m curious to what sort of journey Kate will go through. But to that I can only wait.

What I meant is that the few people outside the named characters we met fit a very common tropes and expectations. The two men that accost Kate when she’s getting water come to mind as they are thugs that behave and look exactly like you would expect. Again, I don’t mean to say this is a bad thing. You can’t make everyone unique and all that, but too much stereotypes in the background characters may lead to a feeling of plainness or even that the world outside the main characters is bland. I guess what I mean is: unimportant characters don’t need to be complex or anything of the sort, but if they are all very simple and tropey, the world might begin to feel too simple or straighfoward.

Very wise indeed. It’s all about balance after all. Too much is impossible, too little is bad.

Glad to hear!

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Ohhh, okay, I get it now. Yes, those thugs are there just to be a pain in the butt, not much more to dig out. If I remember correctly, these are the only non-important ones that get a word and interaction, all further characters play some role, whether inside Kate’s line in the story or some major events in the world that may surge later on. No point in spending time with characters that won’t serve any purpose. Mind you, that’s the first chapter, so that’s one of the first things I wrote back then, but they do their job so I kept them there.

Indeed. One of the first ideas I had when I started and didn’t know anything about writing, was to try to make kind of an open world. Needless to say that I didn’t keep going with it because it wouldn’t have worked out.

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I gotta ask, would it really hurt the narrative if we could pick a name for Katewing? It might hurt the attention this WIP receives if there is no customization. Even if that customization doesn’t change anything.
Your writing being unpolished or not is not really what you should worry about, as long as you give people plenty of choices and make them feel like they can influence the game and build relationships, they’ll play it. Your writing will improve as long as you keep writing.

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Like jeff Bezos.

Hmmm, I guess that, yes and no. The book’s name, for now, is Katewing’s adventures, so I would have to change the title if I allow the player to choose a name for the character. The story is in the end about her and I didn’t seriously thought about the title until recently cause I needed to choose one for publishing it. I was between Katewing’s tales or the former, but if the character’s name is a great deal for the players I don’t see why I wouldn’t change it. I can always keep the default and give them a choice to pick something else in case they want to change it.

Yes, believe it or not, it was even worse than this. But I know there’s a long way to go still. Thank you for the comment!

Wait, what?

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Okay, now you can, in V1.4 you can pick another name for Katewing along with the shortened version of it.

Now, if this is how the book is gonna be published I guess I’ll need another title without the “Katewing” in it, if not, it sounds weird to me this way.

New V1.4, added the option to pick either Imperial or metric units. Thanks for the suggestion and to force me to learn multireplace, that I remember having heard of it but I never took a look at it.

Pd: Sorry, I messed up the files, it was late at night. But they are updated now, units should work as intended. Personal note: remind to double check when you try to do things half asleep.

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