Jolly Good: Cakes and Ale
By Kreg Segall
(10/10)
Jolly Good: Cakes and Ale is, respectfully, one of the stupidest titles I’ve ever read in my life. Now, hold on a minute with the pitchforks. When I say “stupidest,” I mean whimsical. Jolly (literally!). Infuriating. Dazzling. Shocking. Scandalous. Jaw-dropping. Lyrical. Hilarious. In short, incredible. I don’t quite know how to begin this review or what else to say because I’ve binged this whole title and am writing this review at midnight, seven hours before my final, but I suppose I’ll start with the plot. You play as a close relative of an earl as you join an (depending on who you ask) illustrious club called the Noble Gases. You are also trying to rehabilitate your reputation after a dreadful scandal. And, you, well, do stuff. Yes, you read that right. You, a foolhardy, well-meaning noble do stuff. I say this because Jolly Good: Cakes and Ale is less of a typical game with a beginning, middle, and end, and reads more as a collection of vignettes about a noble’s life. Here are some events that happened in my playthrough so you understand what I’m talking about: I romanced my servant (very frowned upon!), I fell through a glass window, I developed an irrational fear of chimneys, I ate a leather handball (yeah), I got into a brawl, I broke into a printing press, and I partook in a boxing/dining competition. Why the slash between boxing/dining? I meant what I wrote—the main character can take part in a round of boxing, which is then quickly followed by a dining competition (with an emphasis on manners). There are four rounds of this, and I just. I don’t know what to say. I laughed out loud at least five times. I marvelled at the writing, the branching (good LORD the branching), and choices. My review is just “play this.”
Pros:
One of the first pros that really struck me was how strong the romance options are. I went in fully convinced I knew who my character would end up with . . . only to find myself unexpectedly falling for someone else. That internal back-and-forth was mirrored so naturally in the story itself that I actually paused mid-playthrough just to appreciate how nice it felt to have that problem at all. And I’m also surprised because the ROs aren’t … conventionally attractive tropes? They’re not “I can fix her” or “goth girl.” In typical Kreg Segall manner, the ROs are strange. Wild, maniac, a bit frustrating, moody, secretive, and unusual. I can’t say more, but I found myself visualizing how my character’s life would be with each RO. It’s rare for a game to make indecision feel charming rather than frustrating, but this one pulls it off beautifully.
You can “fail forward.” Usually, I need one, perfect playthrough. I hate failing stat checks or mysteries. But in this baby, I failed. And failed again. If you approach interactive fiction as something to “solve,” this may initially feel frustrating. But rather than punishing the player, Jolly Good: Cakes and Ale treats failure as a narrative texture. These routes don’t feel like bad or dead ends. In fact, some of the funniest scenes are the ones where you fail miserably. It’s experimentation!
The writing. I cannot say enough good things about the writing. It’s just as good as Tally Ho, if not better. The writing is stunning, witty, thoughtful, dreamy, incredible. Segall knows how to write, man, how to properly break the rules of grammar. There’s also quite a bit of classical and Biblical allusions, which I enjoyed. This game walks an absurdly thin tightrope between farce and sincerity and somehow never falls off. Yes, it’s ridiculous. Yes, you can eat a leather handball and fear chimneys. But the game always knows why it’s being silly, I suppose. The humor is veryyyy specific, character-driven, social, situational, and rooted in understanding of class, reputation, and embarrassment.
Your protagonist actually feels like a person. A lot of IF protagonists are vibes. Or worse, blank slates with shoes. Here, even though you shape your character, they still feel like a coherent human disaster. Your background, scandals, habits, and obsessions accumulate into something specific. Pick brooding options too many times? The text will know you’re an abrasive, perhaps bold villain. Love your family? You’ll be rewarded with that sweet $$$. By the end, my character had a real personality.
Social mechanics that actually feel social. Status, Renown, and Scandal, are actual systems. People remember how you behave, what you’re known for, and whether you’re being Normal About Things. Conversations feel like social chess matches where success isn’t always about winning, but about not embarrassing yourself in public too badly.
Replayability/choices that matter. Holy hell, the branching. The choices. I know I say this every time, but this HAS to be one of the IFs with the most breath and depth. Each chapter has alternative branches, scenes, dialogue, and character. Each conversation has a high pass, medium pass, or fail state. What you wear matters. Choosing one out of five scandalous backgrounds keeps coming up eight chapters later! You can choose to be in love/lust with a classmate from university. People will comment on your garlic breath!!! Your clothes!!! If you’re drunk!!! Chapter 6, man . . .
Time mechanic. Initially I struggled with the time management aspect. For example, in Chapter 6, you have the option to go to the opera, the printing press, or the boxing/dining tournament. Each place has six to seven options that take up ten minutes to half an hour. Imagine my delight when I spent an hour at the boxing/dining tournament, spent twenty minutes sprinting to the printing press for some hijinks, spent another twenty minutes to go to the opera, only to catch the last twenty or so minutes. Again, it’s stressful for perfectionists like me, but the time mechanic is truly unique and encourages replayability. I’ve done two playthroughs, and about 25% of the content on both routes is the same. That’s insane.
The cast as a whole is also less exhausting and more endearing. While Tally Ho had its charms, it occasionally leaned too hard into characters creating unnecessary problems for comedic effect. Here, the humor feels more balanced, and the relationships feel warmer and more reciprocal. I found myself genuinely fond of the people around me and less annoyed by characters’ stupidity. Hell, I was an airhead too.
Cons:
My only con is that the game is part 1 out of 3. I honestly didn’t realize this when I bought Jolly Good: Cakes and Ale; I thought I was getting a complete product. While the ending is sweet and somewhat concludes the most pressing questions, there are still a LOT of plot points left. Additionally, the romances are quite slowburn. You might share some kisses and heated looks, but the romance hasn’t quire paid off yet.
I need a Vyv/Fitzie poly romance. Pls I’m begging.