Well I don’t know if my code is a mess, to be honest, I’ve used Chronicler to build the game up. I don’t know if it’s a common use tool, I found out about it like 5 years ago and I just started playing with it until I decided to actually write something.
Anyway, I’ll be sure to make a few playthroughs and check if everything’s working properly as soon as I can!
Simply mind blowing
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Just completed my first playthrough! I got Ending B.
There was enough mystery and intrigue to make me want to read until the end. The cast of characters is small, but that works to the story’s favour as it means they have enough room for development to make them distinct and interesting. You also did a good job with the dialogue and interactions between people. And you managed to discuss ethical issues in a way that feels sensitive and balanced, while still allowing characters to have their biases. Great work overall 
More typos
«You’re right! We have no way to know how will be judged either way, so the best thing to do is choose what we think it’s right, no doubt about that!»
The rest of the evening comes and goes calm e slow, you and Madeline exchange a few words about the sultry heat and the likely rainfalls that should come in the next couple of days.
while he moves the food from the trolley to the table where both you and Madeline are seating.
should be seated
Once you’re done with the dinner, you both wait for your favorite warden, which shows up promptly to collect dirty dishes and what’s left of the meal.
“which” is usually for objects and animals; “who” is used for people
So, you to play “Scala 40” for a while since it seems to make more sense considering your situation.
so I believe our cooperation will be fruitful,» the woman answer, serious but determined.
«Okay, it seems like Felipe has been found beside her mother’s body, sitting on the floor and with a blood-covered knife in his hands.
Definitely my weal spot.»
should be weak
It could have reached a diametrically opposed verdict if I was the Judge, or even if [MC] took his duty lightly.
pronoun error for female MC
After quickly brushing your teeth, you and your cellmate lay each on your own cot, and in a few minutes you both fall asleep, lulled by the sound of the waves,
comma instead of full stop
«Oh, good morning, mister Gumshoe! I didn’t know you were here, how are you today?» your teammate asks, back from her morning shower, jolly as always to see his favorite officer.
Other comments
It would be nice to have a list of preset names (both male and female). I know some people have a hard time coming up with a character’s name on the spot.
About Felipe’s case, I suggest that you refer to him as a man or young man since he’s 26 years old. Calling him a boy gives rise to uncomfortable implications, as infantilisation has often been used to dehumanise disabled people.
«Is it possible to request a referral of the case if the info in our possession is not sufficient?»
«Is there really no doubt that Felipe was the one who killed his mother?»
These options were greyed out in my playthrough. I assume that this is because I needed to lean towards declaring Felipe guilty in my earlier dialogue with Madeline. While my MC wanted to declare him innocent, I would have liked to have chosen those options regardless, for the sake of considering all the angles of the case before making a choice.
«Really? Despite your history with the Malleris, you are still ok with me pardoning one of them?»
This was also greyed out. I’m guessing that I can only choose this if I knew about Madeline’s history with the mafia. It would make more sense to make it an *if choice rather than a *selectable_if (as that would make it visible to a player who can’t choose it, making it a bit of a spoiler. Unless that is the intended effect)
In my playthrough, I didn’t get to the part when I learned about Madeline’s backstory. I assume it’s because I (accidentally…) clicked the comment about being scared of her in our first meeting. However, I ended up agreeing with her in most of the cases, and I still heard her out when we disagreed, so I thought my affinity level would be high enough to get to that part, but it looks like it wasn’t.
It’s interesting how our last case (the mafia one) is echoed if the MC decides to join the SAU. At least, the same logic is there; you’re a former criminal, but now you are repenting and saving lives instead of harming them.
I concur with what other people have said about having an epilogue. It would be nice to learn more about the impact of the MC’s decisions, since Robert did mention that they will be used as precedents.
I would also suggest adding achievements so people know how many endings are available to pursue, as well as content warnings as the game delves into sensitive issues.
You do have some valid concerns about the way the choices are handled, but let’s point them out in a more constructive way. It takes a lot of work to not only write, but also complete a story.
I’ll not lie, I forgot about Chronicler until I read your post 
I’m guessing that’s why the code had labels like bubble_[number]. Most people making Choicescript games use CSIDE nowadays. You do have to type the code yourself, but otherwise it’s fairly straightforward.
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Aaaaaaa sorry for the late reply!
Preset names can easily be done, could be a good idea yeah! And also Felipe’s infantilisation, good point, gonna fix that for sure
Regarding Madeline’s backstory it was indeed intended, I kinda wanted to give the player a nudge to be interested in Madeline’s backstory and to try and learn more about her in a potential second playthrough.
Also achievements, yeah. Now that you mention them I could have a couple ideas but I would have to learn how to add them, gonna check it out when I have some spare time
Is there a problem using Chronicler? I find it quite easy and I’ve been using it for quite a while so unless it’s forbidden for Hosted Games I think I’ll keep going with that.
Anyway, thank you very much for your feedback, really appreciated 
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No worries, glad to be of help 
Ah, okay, that makes sense. I might do one or two more playthroughs to learn more about Madeline and Robert. Did a bit of code diving and found out about the prisoner’s dilemma, so I might try that path for a change and see how it goes.
Don’t worry, I don’t think there’s any problem with using Chronicler. I was just surprised lol since I thought most people use CSIDE for coding. Your game should be good for HG publication as long as it’s free of bugs and errors. If you have any difficulties in setting up the achievements (or coding in general), feel free to ask around the forum for help ^^
Ah yes, that’s my favourite one together with “Ending D” (Affinity with Robert > 60, Affinity with Madeline > 45 and then a couple of right choices, if you’re interested)!
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Author request.
Hello everyone! It’s me again, the guy with the weird game!
I’ve been working on the game for the last few months (when I had time) and I should now have a proper build of the game available for Beta Testing with (hopefully) way less bugs and typos!
For those who played the game, here’s a change list:
- Fixed tons of typos!
- Added save slots!
- Paragraphs and pages are now smaller and easier to read!
- Endings now tell you the consequences of your choices!
- You can ask if your punishment is unconstitutional!
- No more point of view shifting!
- Added preset names!
- Felipe Perez is now a young man and not a boy anymore!
- Blocked choices now tell you how to unlock them!
- Added Achievements!
- Updated info about Ludmilla Tors’ condition!
The link in the first post is now updated, feel free to give it a go!
I’d like to thank everyone once again for their feedback, I’ve tried to listen to everybody and change the game accordingly. Hope you have fun playing!
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Will there be a closed beta testing group?
I don’t know, would it make sense? Anyone interested can already play the whole game from the link in the first post and share any opinion/feedback here.
Wouldn’t a closed beta be redundant?
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I have been playing for half an hour, and I’ve got to say the introduction is powerful and very catchy!
I do love the concept of the game.
Is it your choice to let us know if stats increase/decrease, or is it the code itself?
Another question out of curiosity, why did you use « » instead of “ “? The former we use in Spanish!
I’ll continue my playthrough and let you know my impressions.
PS: i would really like to use chronicler as CSIDE is quite difficult for me to understand!
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Thank you! I’m glad you’re enjoying it!
It was by design that both Robert and Madeline show their affinity increasing or decreasing, your relationship with them changes the ending and since it doesn’t happen too often I felt like it was an important info to give to the player.
And as stated before, there’s no specific reason why I’ve been using guillemets, I think I’m just used to them more than quotation marks! I’ve tried changing them with “find and replace”, since it was one of the feedbacks I received because people are more used to them, but it messed with the code here and there so I ultimately decided to leave them there. Let’s just say they are my signature style or something?
You can find the topic here: [Tool] Chronicler - ChoiceScript Visual Code Editor
It’s quite easy once you get the grip of it!
It was just surprising because I thought maybe you were Spanish too!
Well I’m italian, so I guess we are somehow linked in terms of language!
This is my feedback
It definitely feels more like a CYOA game rather than interactive fiction, that’s not bad, but I think people in this community look for more interactions and free will.
The story is quite interesting, but there are maybe too many moral lessons explained to the MC, it decreases the free will. There were parts that I skipped due to my jury explaining moral or political concepts that I wasn’t interested in hearing.
We really have not many choices neither do we get to set our MC personality. The MC says things and do things that we haven’t chosen and this is against the “principles” of COG and HG.
But I must praise your writing style and the concept you have presented. Have you thought about publishing this as a novel? I think it could work very well. The fact that we play with ambiguity in these cases is very appealing.
A twist that I would have like is having the MC judge their own crime to see if they learned their lesson.
I think the concept it’s great and this can be a great game if you play with the code and enrich the experiencie.
I did indeed feel like this was quite far from the usual COG experience and that’s pretty much what I was trying to achieve. Although I did not play that many COG games (especially in the last few years, used to play them a lot when “Choice of Robots” came out) I was interested in experimenting a little with the script. It’s easy to play with, if you use Chronicler, and it could be used for a lot of experiences that are not strictly bound to the way the average COG game plays out (which could, potentially, lead them to being even more interesting).
But I do have a question (for you and anyone else interested in answering): would you consider Judge & Jury to be “too far” from the canon of Choice of Games? Since nobody brought up the point previously I felt like it could be an interesting twist, but now I’m not so sure anymore.
Also, were there any specific points where the MC just said/did things that you would not do in their place? I’d probably like to smooth them over, if possible.
Same as before: would you be able to point out where the game lost your attention because you didn’t care / you got bored?
Safe spoiler for whoever ended the game: I don’t know what ending you got, but endings D to H could be interesting for you. Of course, they work only if you never got to another ending before, but if you’re interested you need to have Robert’s Affinity stat above 60 and Madeline’s Affinity under 45!