Journey to the throne(Wip) Updated 10 feb

low-fantasy
gender-choice

#1

I have been playing COG for a long time and now I am thinking of making my own game.

Your Father is Lord of a small town Haven in Kingdom Eastvalley in continent Midtsiden. War is coming for Haven and the events that will come with it will lead mc to become a ruler of Midtsiden.

Update
17 Dec
  1. Added conversation with father, mother and all council members.
  2. Fixed some typos.
23 Dec
  1. Added a scene where you could select in which skill you are good.
  2. Added new skill Knowledge
  3. Added a new option outside the wall scene where you could choose a book reading too.
  4. Added a new unit who good with swords
  5. Added reaction option with father scene in the female side.
  6. made a few corrections here and there.
10 Feb
  1. Added the first scene of chapter 1.
  2. Added character description for all characters in the stats screen
  3. Add many new things in the prologue part.
  4. Added save system thanks to @Jaden_Hairston_Reid and @expectedoperator

I am confused with some things so I will need your help, you don’t need to comment much If you don’t want to, I will give you the option just select one of them

  1. The character description in the story does it make reading frustrating and you want to skip it? (Yes or No)
    1a. If yes, do I need to remove this part or try to make it short and better? (Yes or No)
  2. The going to the barrack scene that I added it makes the story better or worse?
  3. The scene between mc and sibling where two options are given about “I will miss you” fake and genuine one, should I put more options there? (Yes or No) and if you have any suggestion there please tell me about it.
  4. Do any of you know any application or site that I can use to make a map?

It is my request to every reader that please from now on read both the male and female part. There is not much difference in the prologue but chapter 1 is going to be completely different for both parts.

If you guys have any suggestion or If you feel about some things that should be or shouldn’t be in the story then please tell me about them and if any typo, spelling mistakes and bug you find during the game then please tell me about it.

I am waiting for your reviews.

https://dashingdon.com/play/reacon/journey-to-the-throne/mygame/


#2

Can’t seem to load it up. Says there’s no page there.

Never mind, it’s up.


#3

I honestly liked the little bit you had! Your writing skills are not bad at all and I saw only a few grammatical errors. I love the world building and how you wrote the descriptions for the MC. Overall not bad and I wish you good luck! :grin:


#4


Option for custom name not working


#5

I suggest you use line_breaks or page_breaks

EDIT: also getting that error as stated above


#6

It is in an early stage, but I enjoyed it. I liked how your twin’s gender changes depending on which one you choose, and the peaceful interaction we have with them. I really liked how we get to choose to have Haven be known for farming and even have a plant sigil on the banner!

Regarding your writing, there are grammar and spelling errors, but right now I would just break up the first page’s paragraph. I would also change the wording of the hair color selection so that we know in advance that we’re choosing our hair color.

I also found these errors:

When choosing a custom sigil:
prologue line 551: increasing indent not allowed, expected 2 was 3

When choosing a custom banner color:
prologue line 627: increasing indent not allowed, expected 2 was 3

When choosing a custom family name:
prologue line 654: increasing indent not allowed, expected 2 was 3

I look forward to reading more. :relaxed:


#7

A little nibble of a game, but I like what I see so far.

Had two issues, trying to play:

Choosing ‘loose’ as hair-style gave the error 'Non-existent variable ‘stle’ which I assume should be ‘style’.

Next on was custom name, as @Addy3 mentioned above.

Also a couple of line breaks where you may not intend them, or perhaps missing a capital letter (and a typo), two lines starting with ‘and’:

Ofcourse my lord.” Lord Dorrick replies.

and after that your father looks at Lady Amarda and speakes "I know these things take time

She gives a silent nod to your father.

and then your father turn towards you and your brother.

Might be more, but that is what I got for now. Keep at it, promising start. :relaxed:


#8


#9

Your work has its potential. Idk if it’s just me, but I felt the intro was rushed, but then again it’s still new so im looking forward to see more of your work.


#11

Thanks for your replies and thanks to you guys all errors with customs have been fixed now.


#12

Can you be a little specific please?
like I didn’t introduce other characters properly or something else


#13

hey man great story so far cant wait for you to see more of it my only thing i sorta wondered about was these choices how come theres two options about archers can you add one abourt swords like home to the best sword academy or something where there the best at sword play idk up to you whether you do or not


#14

Like the mc will have a build up of character (like an interaction with the mc’s father and mother or as a family before the journey of mc tgt with its father towards the capital)


#15

Agreed…
and I am working on it right now and you will definitely see it in next update.


#16

Looking forward to it!!!


#17

Yeah… good suggestion man
Definitely gonna think about it.


#18

Is the MC trying to steal the throne or trying to marry the king?


#19

Conquer probably?


#20

I would love to kill the king with my own hands :slight_smile:


#21

no… actually mc doesn’t have any desire to become a ruler but the events that will happen in their life will force them to become a king or queen.