Journey Into Darkness

I’ve begun work on my new game Journey Into Darkness. In it, you play a Victorian adventurer who travels to the other side of the world in search of a fabled jewel.

“The theft of a number of rare artifacts sends shockwaves through Victorian England and leads you on a terrifying adventure to a land filled with wonders and horrors alike”

Currently it’s complete in another tool and I am porting it to Choicescript (with the kind and valued help of this forum’s technical whizzes in ask the forum). There are 6 chapters in the game, more if you count choices that do not lead to the end.

It has been written from my love of traditional choose your own adventure type books and as such some paths do lead to death. It is intended to be played as per these books, which I guess is another way of saying you will have to “learn the hard way”. I do understand it is not for everyone because of this (look, it’s been written for me when I was a kid!)

To play the demo, go here:
https://dashingdon.com/play/jonnysaxc/journey-into-darkness/mygame/

I am very interested in feedback in general, also feedback on where code could be improved, errors in grammar or inconsistencies, things that are not fun (if it’s the whole book then that may be hard for me to fix!)

I can only update every 4 weeks or so, I only do this at the weekend and if I hit a coding problem it Will take ages to fix I’m afraid as I find this aspect terribly difficult (although improving). I may also hit on unforseen issues as I get further into the coding.

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I really enjoyed this. It’s a bit short, but the setting of a Victorian Adventurers Club and the characters met so far have been interesting. Already there’s glimpses of the adventure ahead and the possible curse for the artifact thefts that awaits, and it looks like it’ll be a lot of fun. I really like that there’s an instant-win option as well as paths that lead to death, especially on an adventure like this.

One question: will it be possible to play as female?

Things I saw:
If you choose to reset stats and points, the options for skill/stamina/luck don’t reset as well.

It appears that if you can go over the 6 stat point limit when increasing your stats – so you can put 5 points in stamina and then 4 into skill, or 4 into luck and 6 into stamina, etc.

“I told you I would get you here on time Sir”.
“That you did driver, that you did. Here’s the sixpence I owe you”.
There were sections where it became difficult to read due to there being no space between paragraphs like these two lines.

I like the fighting system, although perhaps instead of it just showing the variable names and the dice roll results, we could get descriptions of the fight too. Also, it might make the roll results easier to read if they were more like this:
Dice Result: ${diceresult}
instead of just using the variable names as they are normally.

Also, I had to laugh when I used the gun against the thugs – it’s like that scene in Indiana Jones.

Looking forward to interacting more with Lady Jane and Sir Malcolm! :relaxed:

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Firstly, thank you so much indeed for your kind feedback. It is very valuable and also really exciting that someone somewhere is reading something I wrote!

I need to put my hand up that I haven’t set the game up to play as a female and feel I must explain why this is. When I wrote this game I was basing it on the fighting fantasy books I used to play when I was a kid (a Long time ago!). I found there was a tool called Inklewriter and so after writing the game on paper then scrivener I wrote it in Inklewriter, just as I had finished the tool got shut down(!) and that lead me to Choicescript. Once here it didn’t take me long to realise that choose your adventure games had transformed and had the scope to offer far more than I had envisaged or planned on. If people stick with the game I hope they will agree that Lady Jane aquits herself rather well!

The reset of stats and the limit are broken and I am yet to subject the forum to another plea for help :slightly_smiling_face:

I will make sure all the sections are properly spaced and paragraphed this weekend and resubmit

Your points on the fighting are excellent, thanks and I will fix

You must have been very lucky with the gun, that only happens if you roll a 6!

Thank you again for your help and kind words - the next part is coming soon and it has extra Monkey Madness ™!

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I have now updated the game with the next instalment!

stats now reset and the limit is working
paragraphs and characters speaking have been made clearer
the fighting is clearer, descriptions of fights to follow

I hope you enjoy the next part as you set sail for Cabinda and deal with a troublesome passenger

I am delighted to have any feedback, I have made a list already to fix the following:
fight descriptions
knuckle duster doesn’t add extra damage yet
provisions to replenish stamina not yet working

Cheers

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If you do decide later on to add an option for the MC to be female, using string variables or multireplace will make it easy to switch names and pronouns.

About the stats – the reset is working, but did you want there to be a limit for how much you can place in skill and luck since both start off as being able to place 1 - 4 AP? Because it seems you can add 4 to skill/luck and then choose the same one again and add the last AP left to surpass the original 4 AP limit.

“Jack Sinclair, Malcolm Penrose, pleased to meet you.”
I thought it was a little strange how Lady Jane knows who we are right away when otherwise we have to introduce ourselves to those who don’t work at the club (like the three gentlemen or the safari guy) – it looks like there’s a story reason as to how she knows us, but it seems like the MC would question how she knows.

Also, that line and the following lines on the page are a bit confusing as to who is speaking (due to the spaces between the dialogue and the rest of the paragraphs) and why the MC and Sir Malcolm are ready to suddenly board the ship with just what they’re carrying. It seemed like the MC was about to question what was going on and ask more about this Percy Thistlethwaite when the luggage is brought up, but then it jumps ahead to the MC heading to dinner.

I accidentally got into a fight with a monkey and then died in the lifeboat. :skull: The picture was a nice touch. I liked all the new characters and interactions on the ship, and how the engine room is closed off until you get the key.

Looking forward to dealing with that passenger! :relaxed:

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Thank you for your kind and excellent feedback.

I love how you bypassed the stat system, I am less in love with fixing it (again!) but it’s a brilliant point and I am going to fix it by removing the stat option after it has been chosen. This is now added to the todo list!

I totally agree with your point on who knows who and why, it isn’t clear and this needs a little bit of clarification . Will do! Also, the mad panic to board the ship is not written well either and I will do this too

I am sorry (for the monkey) :slight_smile: and I hope the lifeboat thing was not too annoying
I am glad you liked the picture, I did it as a print and then scanned it.

I am now adding the next little bit where you arrive at Cabinda port and set off down the Mjaa Nto river where the main adventure kicks off! , this will be added soon but as ever I need to sort out some coding (for example, how to make sure extra luck and so on cannot exceed a maximum stat and other issues already raised)

Cheers and Thanks!

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