New draft posted!

Ch. 2

  • added substantially more conversation with John, including his backstory (trigger warning - discussion of domestic violence)

Ch. 5

  • fixed continuity error (PC refers to attraction to both Lila and John only if earlier choice indicated this)

Ch. 9

  • After John declares love for the PC, Lila only does the same if her relationship score is >=50

  • Lila no longer automatically reciprocates if PC chooses her as a love interest (relationship score must be >=50). If PC chooses her or both her and John, and her score is <50, she suggests taking it slow. This means there is still a guaranteed happy ending, but the situation is more cautiously optimistic/HFN than guaranteed HEA.

  • If the PC chooses John, the PC no longer lets her down gently if her relationship stat is <50. (This seemed unnecessary as she is not likely hurt if the stat is low to begin with.)

  • fixed continuity error at bank scene ($100 vs $1000)

  • fixed a continuity error in Ch. 5 that was created by my introduction of John’s backstory in Ch. 2.

Note to readers: The number of changes in this revision is fewer than earlier versions, but I’m getting into more substantial story changes now. Thanks very much for all the notes! I will continue implementing them and if I haven’t gotten to yours yet, please know I haven’t forgotten about them.

New draft posted!


  • added an explanation of character traits in stat chart to help players identify what stats are being affected/tested in choices (esp. communication vs. charm)

  • added larger line breaks between stat charts and headers for easier reading

  • fixed display of finances (removed “:” after dollar sign)

Ch. 1

  • Introduced John earlier in the story, added more interaction with him.

  • Added more first name options

  • Added option to choose own last name

Ch. 3

  • Fixed continuity error. If PC already told Lila about the arrest, no need to decide again whether to tell.

  • Added more conversation possibilities with Lila (tell her about audition or party at the Puncheon club)

  • Added an extra choice affecting finances (if PC goes to dinner, they can still avoid being late by taking a taxi. Being on time increases goal stats).

  • Added more conversation with Vilma and G.W. Lang, with more opportunity to change relationship stats and learn about union

Ch. 7

  • Increased goal stats depending on which branching scene PC chooses at the end of the chapter

Ch. 8

  • If PC goes to Lang’s mansion and supports union, added option to speak on behalf of union

Ch. 9

  • if Lang supports union, PC can now choose to disapprove if they did not support union in earlier chapters

  • fixed continuity error - Lang refers to PC’s influence in approving of union only if they spoke up at the mansion


This is the last call for beta feedback.

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On it. It took me a long time just to sit down and read it, but I’m going to send my feedback today. :frowning:

New draft posted. Not accepting new testers, but if anyone wants to replay it, they’re welcome to.