Jazz Age -- HEART'S CHOICE -- BETA TESTERS NEEDED

jasonstevanhill · 2019-04-01T19:16:33.111Z

Ok, I’ve got my first set of testers. I’ll send out more invites when I get a new draft.

Mary_Duffy · 2019-04-03T06:51:14.661Z

New draft posted!

General

Fixed the way stats are displayed (removed underscores, fixed capitalization)
Fixed glitch when PC chooses own name (previously not displayed properly)
Fixed coding error that made sex scenes run into each other
Fixed italics/typos throughout game
Put all stats on one page for easier viewing (If this is now too long, I can break it into two. I’ll look forward to further feedback.)
End-of-game success checks are easier

Ch. 1

Increased Charm stat if PC chooses to say something clever to heckler
Edited PC’s first interaction with Lila to make it clear that she is glamorous like Josephine Baker, rather than saying she looks just like her (to avoid racist implication that all Black women look alike).

Ch. 2

removed assumption that PC has a possible crush on Lila and added an interest check early in chapter
removed assumption that PC is interested in John at first meeting/added option to ignore him

Ch. 3

fixed continuity errors
removed instance where game chooses PC’s reaction for them re: inviting Lang to dinner

Ch. 4

removed continuity error (invited Lang to Lila’s Place, so his appearance is not unexpected)
added text to allow more nuanced responses to John’s insistence that the PC work for him/spy on Lila

Ch. 5

Fixed code error - some options weren’t being shown re: choice to tell Lila about John’s demand to spy on her

Ch. 7

fixed code error (indent *goto next when talking to Vilma about union)
fixed continuity error re: placing phone call in Ch. 4

Ch. 9

fixed continuity error (Toni’s mention of going to callback audition)
removed duplicate para re: mortgage on farm

Ch. 10

Fixed coding error that cut out some of John’s dialogue when PC asks if he’ll stay the night

A note to beta testers from the author:

Thank you so much for your feedback! This is my first CoG game and I am learning lots from your comments. There were some instances where I chose not to make revisions in favour of historical accuracy in word choice/slang, but I looked at and considered all of your suggestions carefully. I also kept in some anachronisms to make it easier for modern readers to follow along (eg. - the FBI wasn’t called the FBI until the 1930s).

I also wanted to let you know that I will think about larger “story” revisions once I finish fixing continuity/typos/coding errors. (For example, one tester suggested being given a choice not to romance either of John or Lila. I haven’t included that option because this is being marketed as a romance game, but I am open to the possibility* and will talk to my editor.)

*And me, her editor says: we received this kind of feedback–“I’m not interested in romancing any of these romance options”–from some testers on Love at Elevation. I don’t think there’s a good solution here. The game is a romance game and there’s a possibility some readers won’t feel interested in the romances in the game as they’re written! . It’s not a sandbox. I’m not inclined to have the author do a significant rewrite so that there’s a playthrough with no romances.

MIGSey · 2019-04-03T07:45:44.817Z

Mary_Duffy:

And me, her editor says: we received this kind of feedback–“I’m not interested in romancing any of these romance options”–from some testers on Love at Elevation. I don’t think there’s a good solution here. The game is a romance game and there’s a possibility some readers won’t feel interested in the romances in the game as they’re written! . It’s not a sandbox. I’m not inclined to have the author do a significant rewrite so that there’s a playthrough with no romances.

I’m sorry to go off topic here, but what ? People legit told you this concerning that game ? Well, now I’ve heard everything.

MeltingPenguins · 2019-04-03T14:26:28.035Z

Try loading the /scenes/startup.txt and see if that helps?

Mary_Duffy · 2019-04-03T15:47:14.045Z

New fixes are in for a variable error in Ch 9 & 10.

Mary_Duffy · 2019-04-11T20:03:01.677Z

20 posts were merged into an existing topic: Heart’s Choice FAQ

NatsDemilla · 2019-04-06T00:59:36.610Z

Ooh… Interesting, very interesting…

Rogar · 2019-04-06T11:49:54.804Z

Mary_Duffy:

Josephine Baker

She was one of the Paramount beauty of that era in france. Sadly American know little about her today☹. So you can use her as a reference Esthetics similarity…

Mary_Duffy · 2019-04-06T19:09:15.951Z

New drafted posted!

From the author:

The only things from this round of feedback that I didn’t get through are

some confusion from one tester about the finances stat
the same tester wanted more variety in the sex scenes

I’ll take a look at both of those issues tomorrow and think about possible changes.

General

Added chapter/stat headers and re-organized stats on page for easier reading
Added explanation of goal stats on stats page
Fixed loop in sex scenes
Fixed continuity error re: amount of mortgage (was not previously mentioned). Fern now mentions the amount in her ch. 6 letter.
Increased the effect of a number of interactions with John on his relationship stat (positive and negative)
Fixed typos throughout

Ch. 2

Some testers found John unlikeable at first meeting, so added more dialogue/interest in getting to know PC as a person

Ch. 3

Simplified scene at the beginning of the chapter when the PC leaves their apartment (less internal dialogue to avoid inconsistency with character traits).

Ch. 5

Revised options for more clarity at choice re: how to respond when John tells Lila he met the PC on the night of the raid
Added another option re: religious affiliation

Ch. 9

Adjusted goal stats to better reflect outcomes
Adjusted relationship stat(s) after PC declares their love
Increased fame stat if PC gets a role on Broadway
Fixed continuity error re: earlier discussion of compromise with FBI

Ch. 10

Fixed continuity/coding error re: saving farm

Note to readers: Several testers have pointed out that the story gives the PC more chances to interact with Lila than with John. I agree and will look at adding more interaction and dialogue with John when I get to story-focused revision after coding, typos, etc.
[/quote]

Mary_Duffy · 2019-04-11T14:21:55.841Z

New draft posted!

General

interactions with John/Lila have greater effect on relationship stats

Ch. 1

Added option to choose ethnicity

Re: ethnicity - Feedback from testers is very welcome! For example, should there be more/different choices? My intention was to draft the game in such a way that race was not assumed and the player could picture the PC however they liked, but that hasn’t worked well, so I’ll keep trying!

Ch. 2

Fixed continuity error (previously Geraldine mentioned the PC doesn’t drink regardless of earlier choice)

Ch. 3

Added opportunity to tell Lila about John’s blackmail earlier

Ch. 5

added page breaks to fix Ch. 5 running into next chapter

Ch. 9

revised conversation with Mr. Franklin to use clearer language/meaning

Ch. 10

Added option to return to Greendale and help Ma if the farm isn’t saved
Revised to ensure continuity with new option to tell Lila about blackmail in Ch. 3

Coming up in revisions:

more interaction with John throughout and more variation in sex scenes
increased opportunity to change finances throughout the game/more opportunity to save the farm
expand on the union subplot
continued work on portraying race and gender in an appropriate, respectful way that doesn’t create erasure

jasonstevanhill · 2019-04-11T15:02:15.977Z

I’ve sent out more invites.

dillpickle1996 · 2019-04-11T21:56:03.415Z

Is this one m/m, m/f, f/m, or f/f?

jasonstevanhill · 2019-04-11T21:58:28.185Z

v/m-f

dillpickle1996 · 2019-04-11T22:01:43.469Z

Are there anymore spots for beta testing the updated version?

HarrisPS · 2019-04-12T02:24:20.127Z

Drop Jason an email (it’s in the first post of the thread) to sign up, he’ll get in touch with the login details in due course

Mary_Duffy · 2019-04-19T00:12:52.764Z

New draft posted!

Ch. 2

added substantially more conversation with John, including his backstory (trigger warning - discussion of domestic violence)

Ch. 5

fixed continuity error (PC refers to attraction to both Lila and John only if earlier choice indicated this)

Ch. 9

After John declares love for the PC, Lila only does the same if her relationship score is >=50
Lila no longer automatically reciprocates if PC chooses her as a love interest (relationship score must be >=50). If PC chooses her or both her and John, and her score is <50, she suggests taking it slow. This means there is still a guaranteed happy ending, but the situation is more cautiously optimistic/HFN than guaranteed HEA.
If the PC chooses John, the PC no longer lets her down gently if her relationship stat is <50. (This seemed unnecessary as she is not likely hurt if the stat is low to begin with.)
fixed continuity error at bank scene ($100 vs $1000)
fixed a continuity error in Ch. 5 that was created by my introduction of John’s backstory in Ch. 2.

Note to readers: The number of changes in this revision is fewer than earlier versions, but I’m getting into more substantial story changes now. Thanks very much for all the notes! I will continue implementing them and if I haven’t gotten to yours yet, please know I haven’t forgotten about them.

Mary_Duffy · 2019-04-24T17:40:31.819Z

New draft posted!

Stats

added an explanation of character traits in stat chart to help players identify what stats are being affected/tested in choices (esp. communication vs. charm)
added larger line breaks between stat charts and headers for easier reading
fixed display of finances (removed “:” after dollar sign)

Ch. 1

Introduced John earlier in the story, added more interaction with him.
Added more first name options
Added option to choose own last name

Ch. 3

Fixed continuity error. If PC already told Lila about the arrest, no need to decide again whether to tell.
Added more conversation possibilities with Lila (tell her about audition or party at the Puncheon club)
Added an extra choice affecting finances (if PC goes to dinner, they can still avoid being late by taking a taxi. Being on time increases goal stats).
Added more conversation with Vilma and G.W. Lang, with more opportunity to change relationship stats and learn about union

Ch. 7

Increased goal stats depending on which branching scene PC chooses at the end of the chapter

Ch. 8

If PC goes to Lang’s mansion and supports union, added option to speak on behalf of union

Ch. 9

if Lang supports union, PC can now choose to disapprove if they did not support union in earlier chapters
fixed continuity error - Lang refers to PC’s influence in approving of union only if they spoke up at the mansion

Mary_Duffy · 2019-04-27T18:15:04.826Z

This is the last call for beta feedback.

NatsDemilla · 2019-04-29T11:18:56.886Z

On it. It took me a long time just to sit down and read it, but I’m going to send my feedback today.

jasonstevanhill · 2019-05-28T14:38:27.983Z

New draft posted. Not accepting new testers, but if anyone wants to replay it, they’re welcome to.