Is trust important in a relationship and is suspecting your partner good or bad?


#1

My opinion is trust is not important in a relationship , and regards to suspecting your partner is good as we are human being and there is a chance that we might go to wrong way of there is no fear of getting caught


#2

Trust is all in a relationship. If you can’t trust in someone. You can’t be happy. My ex in college I found him in my own rent flat banging other girl. After scare them to death and they go away nude . I can’t return with him. I can’t maintain a relationship with someone I can’t trust with. How could you open your heart and feelings to a person you don’t know if will kill you or betrayal when you looking on other direction?

Jealousy is another name to violence. Is trying to control all about other person, become that person your slave. All people who are abusive in relationship are Jealous and possessive. So if I see a guy is pushy and jealous I just go in other direction. And then discovered the guy were in jail for beating his girlfriend


#3

It depends on the goal of the relationship.

If the goal is sex, than no, you don’t need trust. If your goal is to legally bind two powerful families in an alliance, then feelings are optional.

If the goal is to have a long, loving, and happy relationship? Yes, you need to be able to trust the other person.
In terms of questioning a partner, I won’t say you shouldn’t, but I will say you should always give the benefit of the doubt. Allow a partner to explain before you jump to any conclusions, and be willing to believe their explanation. Let them be innocent until proven guilty.


#4

I believe that theres more than just trust. Without comunication you cant have trust, and without trust you cant have a relatiinship.

Relationship is built with two people on a stable ground. This ground is trust and comunication. If something goes missing or breaks, the whole pyramid falls leaving you confussed and broken about why it failed.

So yes, it is very important to feel able to trust your partner with yourself. Cause you are opening up to them, and trust, to not break you. Also trust makes you feel secure too.

You cant have a relationship with someone, that you know, would stick a knife to your back or even worst to your front… and live with it. It would be unhealthy and depressing. But you can like them. That’s another thing…:grin::grin: so i hope i answered your question as best as i could!!


#5

Wow you’re very forgiving. If I know someone who has repeatedly and un-apologetically stuck a knife in (either to my face or behind it) so that I’m aware it’ll likely happen again since they’re not sorry they did it and there’s no particular circumstances attached which may give them leeway, they tend to get downgraded to aquaintances very rapidly. You can get along with them if you have to, but saying I “like” them would start to push it. Close friendships/relationships are completely out while that sort of thing is on the cards. You can forgive them, but trust them again enough to let them in as a close friend? Different kettle of fish.

IMO you need trust. If you don’t trust them why? Do you have good reason or is it paranoia/worry without any basis. If you have good reason then you need to evaluate if the relationship is one you want to be in. If there isn’t a firm reason you need to do some soul searching and ask if you’re potentially creating a problem (I’ve seen relationships where one partner is over controlling or clingy/insecure fail due to lack of trust in what they imagine their SO could be up to) or if you need to look further into it.


#6

Trust is foundation, without it the entire relationship (any relationship, love, friendship) will collapse. Its important to trust someone and be trusted, if you are trusted it means the other person really accepts you as part of their life.

I have seen stained relationships due to mistrust/doubts , all i can say is do not confront them unless you really have strong evidence that they did something wrong as, you know the saying “the wound may heal but the scar will remain”.


#7

not all people are like that, (abusive is different thing from jealousy and possessive) some have that nature(jealous/ projective) because they love the other person to a great depth, and you might be surprised some partners find that nature satisfying.

Yes its agreed that love becoming obsession and making someone your slave is wrong, one sided love is more dangerous, there is a saying that if you love someone you gotta let em free. And occasional jealousy and protectiveness shows that the person actually cares for you. :slight_smile:


#8

I don’t know anyone jealous that is positive. More if is a men. I don’t need protection I need a equality relationship based on trust. Jealous mean untrust and mean try to dominate the other is just a passive agresive behavior.
First recommendations I had in the support group is not letting us be directed to a Jealousy partner. They will selling you as protection and is because I care for you. But normally is just a way to try to control you and become dependent.

I have seen girls that his boyfriend caught their mobile phone and read all their message and erase anything they didn’t like publicly and call the Puta because had males as friends on Facebook. I have seen teens being beaten on street from their boyfriend just because they have say hello or given a like to their ex. Here in Spain male Jealousy violence is so important and bad violent that there is public adds and aid phones just for teens.

So no Jealous is never good and has nothing to do with love, Is about power and control. About 50 women die in Spain each year due Violent abuse. 99% due Jealous ex husband that killed them brutally to avoid the women found a new partner. I killed because she was mine is what they do.

Also now there is the trend of give the direction and data of your ex girlfriend to a pirate sex pages to make a group of men go there in group to rape them. We already have deaths via rape.

So no Jealousy is not good and has nothing to do with love is about power and control.


#9

@poison_mara I understand you have been through tough times, my apologies if i have hurt your feelings, my intentions were not to support jealousy but relate it with trust. If you and your partner have a deep bond its normal for either to get protective and jealous in some situations, dont get me wrong, suspecting and coming up with jealous feeling often shows that you want to dominate the other. Which is bad

It also comes to each and every person how they behave and treat their other half, abuse, cheating these are signs broken mind.

I hope everything turns out good with you :slight_smile:


#10

It also is a cultural thing. I am Spanish and with that comes a tradition of Jealousy on men that is normally violent. What is jealous in Anglo-Saxon culture here is custom. What here is Jealousy is far more hardcore. Reggeton and those Spanish hip hop is so popular if you translate into English songs Would be banned as sexual aggresive Stuff like you are mine If I see you again with other man I will beat you all day. Or you are my perra if you are with me you can’t talking with oother men.

Perra in Spanish is equivalent of Bitch.

That’s the softer you ckuld read Here women has to be obedient and men should have to PROTECT us protection means control our mobile phone our mailing list etc


#11

I understand, it must be hard, our country was in darkness few years ago, but recently goverment has taken serious steps to wack the offenders, to be honest there has been 0 physical assault case since last 1.5 year in my city, (some catcalls, eve tease are dealt with harsh punishment from public itself lol ).

Awareness towards women’s right and their freedom is important. My college held a campaign for it a year back and we were surprised to see the mentality of some people who only see women as…nvm. Some people changed others said that the tradition demands it , heck it that? As far i knew our tradition never asked for womens to be treated as slaves, so we made a draft and sent it to state department to let them know what 3rd class mentality people live in some rural areas have. And action was taken within a month or 2.

You must be wondering why im babbling my story?
Its just a clue that you and your friends can stand up against violence towards women. Remember keeping silence is also considered a crime :wink:


#12

Here government tries very hard fighting about violence against minority groups normally women but other collectives too as trans people and that. However, society even if it’s changing fast still have a very terrible views about relationships roles. A male has to be The dominant, The alpha male. It has to protect poor women that cannot deal with hardships . In exchange women has to be submissive and be grateful being at expense of what your male want. A women has to be sexual prepared to any desire men has and is not men has right to demand for it violently.
That was Catholic church view and teaching when I was in the private school Cristo rey not even fifteen years ago. If your husband beat you to dead well it was no reason enough to them give you a dispense to breaking the catholic marriage

Thankfully Catholic church don’t dictate rules anymore But their bigotry still in some people. So far, and new generations are even more abusive via internet. I hope our government plans and campaigns trying to cut down works.


#13

I m …sorry poison mara ,for what happens in your country :sneezing_face::astonished::angry:… If my girlfriend cheats on me I will give her a slap while taking a video and upload it ,and tell her to get lost and never come infront of me …And cry for sometime in secret …And all …but never go for much harrassment or killing what the hell man , I might never go to Spain again if killing is so common there … And regards to your bf I hope you get someone who you can trust , since you said it is important to trust someone in a relationship while i said no .:mask: Lol… I think I and black wraith Phantom are from same country …But i Might disagree with one point that it is not the state of all states there are some places here where there are such abuses to women still existing … Although to a minor degree …if you know about my country’s history you will think that we are evolving ,such was our past ,if u want to know it message me , we where cruel to women in past …But we have changed …, And do you have a brother because if someone dare to hurt my sister I would have broken his man thing … And with it some bones too…


#14

I am capable of Defend myself perfectly. And no not brothers. I assisted defense personal clases and I am strong and have a strong temper when I am angry. So I could defend me perfectly. You shouldn’t assume that a woman has to be avenged we could defend ourselves or at least some can. That aptitude is part of when desire of control come. Women is not weak for nature.

If you don’t trust your partner can’t have his her pants on when you are in a close private relationship with him her. Then break the only you could achieve continue is harm everyone involved.


#15

And generally no one messes with me since my dad is in army and let me tell you a story which is real and happened when I was young …(still I am young …:money_mouth_face:) It is when I was young i used to do local cycle race with my friends ( I go with my dad so I’ve many friends in my past whom I have no contact anymore …) and one day while returning from stunt ground , a group of boys stop me and asked to bring my sister tomorrow ,so I ran away ( I m in cycle so they can’t catch me hence I had to take a detour and was late and my dad asked me the reason and I told him about the boys ,lol next part was commical, he asked me to go to them tomorrow and when I did those fools came and block me , after a while a group of bikers came and they where my dad’s friend from army , so the boys try to run away and they got caught and my father beat them in the road and warn him to never do that again , then when ever I go they just go away ,…Haha u won’t get the feeling that I feel while typing it :roll_eyes::smiling_imp: bit it was fun for me to see this …


#16

It is good that you go for self defence training classes I think I went for karate class and was yellow belt when I fell from stairs and got afraid and had to stop my class …
And no I don’t mean that you can’t​ fight , I m really sorry it it meant like that bu believe me I like wen women try to do it themselves​ and I had already said it to one of my friend who is a girl about trying to do it and if she can’t I would help her … I think it was a comment to some post in fb dont remember right now ,so no i didn’t mean that you can’t help yourself …
And wow which style are you training in …


#17

Mara is master of the poison style.


#18

And about my sister my dad had told her to go to self defence training but she is not much of a fighter and i love fighting …It is in my blood …so she can’t protect herself and i m a brother and I m possessive about my sister and wants best for her ,and I know the best for her part is considered possessive …But that’s not a case of a stranger​ person who had recently came to my life (I mean a gf ) I won’t say I m not possessive and all but i know when to feel insecure and all …


#19

Lol another Pokemon fan , if you had a pro pic I would have given you a type too.but currently i will say you are a ghost type.


#20

I wasn’t into defense class but my dad insisted as child. It was a premonition of his part because I suffered the assault few months after start the classes. So I could disarm the guy shouting like a banshee for help . I didn’t continue going to defense a lot after that so I am not kunfu fighting or anything it include some submission mat Judo techniques. I went to a gym specialist in Judo and Karate that won several contest here due my dad is friend of the owner my classes were free. And your sister you have to say what my dad say to me. Going class is not you become a fighter and going punching people. Is to if you someday are in danger or someone else is you could at least protect you against it or make the attacker pay.