I'm not going to comment on A Midsummer Night's Choice other than to say that as much as I tried to enjoy it, it really wasn't my cup of tea. I played it two or three times and then never played it again. That doesn't mean other people won't enjoy it however.
Now regarding the Affairs of the Court series, a series I played to death, I've long since concluded that the primary author pictured a male monarch and a female protagonist in her mind. There are a handful of WTF moments that can pop you out of your immersion into the story when you encounter them if you aren't playing a female MC and/or the monarch isn't male.
For example, if if you are black-hearted enough to agree to poison your brother in law and his little girl too, you can invite them to tea or wine. During the conversation Matteo pipes in to you and Rosa that "it's quite a lot of fun to be invited to drink tea like a grown up lady". You then murmur back "I remember those days". Um, what? To have made the line gender neutral, the connection should have simply been made between tea and grown ups, not tea and grown up ladies, as if it was something that grown up men didn't do.
I remember in the beta for part 3, the Queen doubted her own maternity. How a woman could forget 9 months of pregnancy and the pain of childbirth is beyond me. When it was pointed out that maternity isn't open to question the way paternity is, this was changed to fearing the babies were switched or some-such in the released version of the game.
I'm not a large man, but I've never in all my years met a woman who could effortlessly pick me up, and yet that's what the Queen did with my male character. So the picture that popped into my mind was that my character must be some sort of midget like Verne Troyer of mini-me fame and she must be built like Chyna of WWE fame. The picture in my mind's eye as a result was both off-putting and immersion-breaking.
And I have to agree with @Urban that finding my wife in bed with another woman just doesn't trigger my primitive hind-brain to go cave-man the way finding her in bed with another man would. There was no towering rage or fear. My cerebrum easily remained in charge. All of the available choices struck me as very alien and not something I'd do in that situation as I felt no impulse to foolishly alienate my spouse with my non-existent rage or cry like a baby due to some non-existant feeling of betrayal. Look, I knew when I signed up for this gig that my royal spouse was a notorious philanderer so finding her in bed with a woman as brainless as Adelita was kind of a relief. A woman won't accidentally impregnate her the way a man would, and Adelita isn't sharp enough to be a true threat to my MC's position. The two of them in bed together is also kind of hot. So instead of feeling rage or betrayal I'm feeling rather calculating about the whole thing, and looking for a way to roll with the situation and take control of it. I'd have loved to have been able to say something like, "How would you like to have four hands and two sets of lips caressing your skin my love?" to my MC's very hedonistic wife, but there is no such option presented and so the scene falls flat for me. Believe me when I say that my character isn't stupid enough to think that he'd be the center of any such threesome. It's not about my character's pleasure, it's about increasing the queen's pleasure as a strategm to strengthen his own position.