Interest check (Medieval Superpower story)


#1

So while working on a large update for my current main WIP “The Operative” an idea shot into my head that i just could not get rid of! I have managed to work out a basic outline and some rough beginning chapters but I was just checking to see if you guys as readers would be interested in me developing this idea into something more, or if you had suggestions before i get fully into this. (note this wont take away from my other work.) Here is the idea, keep in mind this is a shortened explanation.

During the reign of George Loyset, King of West Xavier, a daughter was born to him with a mysterious growth on her hand, the king summoned priests, doctors and even those accused of witchcraft to cure this affliction but to no avail, not prayer nor steel could remove the growth.

The king not wishing to harm his daughter further, kept her under close watch but allowed her to have a fairly normal childhood. But on her twentieth birthday she gained the ability to summon fire with her afflicted hand burning her mother.

Terrified the Kings advisors pleaded for him to banish her for she was cursed by the gods but he refused.

Encouraged by the Kings choice, reports began to gather from all across the kingdom of children and young adults who had also had this affliction but been hidden away. Referred to as kissed by the gods they possessed abilities beyond people’s wildest dreams. However there came a terrible price to using the powers too often. That price was life.

Twenty years later West Xavier found itself the target of a holy crusade, the kingdoms of East and North Xavier united against what they viewed as an unclean and unholy land. Their lords and armies invaded, ravaging the land, executing or kidnapping those afflicted. The country is on the verge of collapse.

You are the youngest child of a minor noble family of West Xavier. You and your older sister are both kissed by the gods, your sister, joining her liege lords army at the age of twenty spent the next four years of her life fighting, using her gift. Eventually overcome by the affliction, she does not have long to live. Setting out and ignoring your own desire to join the war you look to the north, where there is rumored to be a cure for being kissed by the gods. You will save your sister no matter the cost.


#2

My only problem is in a medieval setting where magic is usually prevalent you are calling it a superpower, when it sounds like run of the mill magic. I get the two of them are close together but other than that it sounds interesting! I’d definetly give it a shot.


#3

Well to them I’m sure it would be magic, but I sort of look at it more like a misunderstood disease. The way this idea formed came from me thinking how a medieval world would react to superpowers :joy:

But hey I’m still thinking it through.


#4

Well don’t let me dissuade you, that’s very original and if done right could be very entertaining!
I guess what what I’m trying to say is make sure if you want to use superpowers you distinguish it FROM magic


#5

I like the idea. It’s original. I think you should go through with it.


#6

@Aviator467 Oh ok, i get what you are saying.

@DarthDovahkin Awesome! :smiley:


#7

It is definitely interesting. I really enjoy The Operative so I hope you have enough writing energy for the both.


#8

I should have the energy, either way The Operative will be first on my priority list. :wink:


#9

This is sounding interesting!


#10

Isn’t this treason? How would we even come back to cure our sister (who is in the army) when we are a traitor to the kingdom?

But the concept itself is definitely interesting.

Also, Xavier? Really? With being ‘kissed by the gods’ regarded as an affliction,
I take it this was somehow inspired by X-men?


#11

Very lightly inspired. And by lightly i mean barely lol.
Also thanks for pointing that out, meant to change that bit about the call to war.


#12

This sounds interesting I’m wondering what type of powers you would implement. It would be a good idea to include uncommon powers such vector or flow manipulation something that hadn’t been used before.


#13

Sounds interesting even if it is very similar to Marie Lu’s Young elites.


#14

Darn I just looked it up, your right :confused:
@CaughtFalling


#15

And ‘Accelerator’ shall be our title.

P.S
I love whoever gets the reference


#16

Don’t be discouraged,I’d still read and buy this game. Keep going!


#17

Sounds a bit contradictory. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: This seems like an interesting idea, though. Good luck.


#18

Just some quick rewording would fix it.


#19

Sounds good just couldent read all of it tho


#20

If you have a brother and sister, but the brother is OK and the sister is not (she’s afflicted), then the story that I had in my head is that Hecate was the goddess responsible for this “kissed by the gods” thing.

The player goes through a bunch of quests and stuff and finally discovers that Hecate chose the sister to be her avatar (it doesn’t really work with boys, because maybe it’s a girl thing?) and her affliction stems from not fully accepting this role, so the conflict physically manifests itself on her hand.

So part of the story would be to either convince the sister to fully accept her role as a chosen of the gods, or instead you could get help from the other gods, making your case that she never wanted this in the first place.

You should definitely do this @spytim