Indefinite Hiatus. The Amberwood Series (WIP) (Read Post 409)

Okay, so I want to put out an update here personally, despite having included an Update Page in the demo!
First of all, I want to say thank you to everyone in this thread who has helped me along the way thus far. This is definitely a journey that I threw myself into head first and sorta drowned in. Whoops. B u t, that’s where all of you lovely folks come in. All the feedback has been wonderful, much like your patience.

Heads Up, It's A Long One Ya'll

I have only just begun starting to write Chapter 5 as I’m trying to hammer it into my skull to tAKE MY TIME, as I was mentally overwhelmed for a few days. It made writing impossible to the point where I’d begun hating my own project. So I let myself take a step back and work slowly fleshing out some lore, and having finally seen Frozen 2, it gave me a lot of ideas to flesh out the First and the Void too.

I can say, with planning, the story will have up to twelve chapters, and more is possible, of course. There’s a lot I want to do, it’s a means of figuring out how. I even got my own mother roped up in this as she offered to test it out herself! It’s both weird, scary, and awesome.

It’s incredible to think the link for the demo has gotten a bit over 2000 clicks. That’s way more than I expected. The page itself has 10,000, holy crap. I don’t care if half of it is from me replying to you guys, I’ve never seen a number that big associated with something of mine, so it’s kinda cool?? :joy:

Especially since I know the whole supernatural stuff is more or less played out depending who you ask.
:woman_shrugging:

A bit off topic, but I’ve thought about making another thread for book discussions but then I’m like: there’s hardly anything worth talking over? There aren’t a lot of readers, so it might die, and then a new one would have to made (or could it be revived) :thinking:…ANYWAY. I can still do so if wished! Or any of you can, be my guest!

Honestly, the highlight of my day are the messages I get on Tumblr. The asks I get really help me think about the characters in a new light, it’s amazing.

SO! Before this gets any longer, thank you for giving me and this project your time of day, even if you just glanced at it and decided it wasn’t your cup of tea! It’s an experience in itself that I’m adoring, and I wish I’d started doing this so much sooner. :blush:

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Well darn. I was left wanting more at the end of the demo. I stared at the ‘Play Again’ for a few seconds too long :sweat_smile: Anyway I just found myself another WIP to obsess on. @PrismaticSpace :clap:

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Obsessions can be fun-

except for the time I was super obsessed with Person 4 when I was younger that I neglected even my hygiene to keep playing

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You’ve got something interesting going on here. Keep up the good work! :slight_smile:

Here are some minor lapses I found along the way.

Summary

“Metallic” maybe?
My suggestion here: “Something heavy and metallic crashes at the back of the store.” Clash implies two opposite forces against each other, like swords clashing into one another.

“herding”

“as”

“them”

“I don’t even have TO lift a finger”.
Suggestion: “I won’t even have to lift a finger.”

The quotations marks are unnecessary here since he’s still talking.

“everyone else would inevitably follow.”

Again, the quotation marks are unnecessary because her speech isn’t over yet.

“barely hanging” lacks a space.

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wow look at all these errors :joy: I’m honestly smiling and I don’t know why.
Although I can say in the shot with “Jaybird” in the text, her speech did end. The “Where was Spencer…” part are MCs thoughts.
I should edit that so it’s clearer.
But thank you for pointing all of this out!

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the game is lovely! a very nice read also I knew Nyx was a lycan!

I have some thoughts that maybe would help with the game, or so I hope, first, mc’s uh need to prove themselves, maybe it could be an option? I can’t personally see the mc I’m playing with being that interested in how worthy people perceive them to be, in regards to that, when the reactions to being given the job there could be one that’s more along the lines of “I want to do this job because I’m interested in it and seems exiting” without the “I need to prove myself” and when going to Nyx’s room maybe we could knock?

that’d be all I can think of at the moment, and again, the game is really lovely and the characters are amazing, I love the parents dynamic and Nyx in general!

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oooo okay, yes! I like those suggestions! I could definitely work those things in.

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I wonder how did we come back to life
A the Grim Reaper having a coffee break and didn’t realize there was a new customer
B some magical b******* to keep are Soul into our body now we’re walking thinking corpse

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I don’t know if this answer will suffice or not but:
a person/creature can be revived if the death was recent (unless you are a Necromancer), generally within 48 hours of death. Once that window is closed, death cannot be reversed. But even still, regardless, it always comes with a price. :slightly_smiling_face:

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Well I’m a lucky son of a b****

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lucky

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Alrighty. Hello to those who read this! Yes, I had to put Amberwood on a hiatus because of t h i n g s, and I’m trying to make this as cohesive as possible. I feel like this might come with some SERIOUS rewriting of almost everything, but, I’ll cross that bridge when the time comes.

For now, I have a poll! You don’t have to vote of course, but I am lingering on this idea and will even consult my mother about this since she’s helping me edit.;; That, and she really helps me see things in another perspective, it’s amazing.

Quick note, I almost added an option to suggest scenes you’d might want, but opted out. However, if you DO have any, feel free to message me here or on my messy melancholic tumblr :joy: They can be scenes with certain characters, or focused on MC specifcally. (Which I’m hoping I can make much more enjoyable for you all while still allowing MC to grow into a proper badass.)

  • Add new scene with MC training in magick at chapter one.
  • Add new scene but remove the undead attack scene at work.
  • Add new scene but keep the undead attack scene at work.
  • Stop fcking rewriting chapter one already, don’t add it.
  • Do whatever you think is best!

0 voters

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do what you want for you story it is your love child

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Although I’m voting for it, it won’t just be a rewrite of chapter 1 if you add a magick training scene–this impacts the end of chapter 3/beginning of chapter 4 after the the undead attack on the Sable Rose pack. Thankfully, those scenes are near the end that can be more easily changed around, so that shouldn’t cause too much trouble.

Still, I’m also all for you doing what you think is best. If this sounds like more pressure, I apologize because that’s not my intention. Nor anyone else’s, I’d bet. :sweat_smile:

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I’m putting pressure on myself, no one else is, so don’t worry! :joy: It’d be easier(?) if editing could go faster. But it’s difficult to read things as a reader and not as a writer trying to smooth things out. oof. lord help me-

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Mini Update: I can’t promise WHEN the next upload for the demo will be, but I can say there’s already some major changes in just the first chapter alone. I’m approaching the writing like I would for a normal story, adding comments in Word to where I want choices to be, and continuing from there. I hope you all will keep waiting, as I want this all to be even better than it is now so yall are hooked on it! :smiling_imp:

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I’ve just finished reading the demo and I have to say, I really enjoy it so far and I think it has a ridiculous amount of potential. The characters are excellent, fresh, unique, and a million more positive adjectives. I like to think that I’ve read a lot of WIPs and others stories, and I hardly ever see characters like these ones. It’s incredibly refreshing to read something like this. The writing is also good and while often times I would skip large lines of text, I found myself reading it completely. That being said, I do have some relatively minor constructive criticism that I hope you’ll consider.

  1. I really wish that there was more character choice involved. It felt that my characters personality was already decided for them, like more of a novel rather than a choice of games book. While I enjoyed how my character was presented as a bit sassy and cool, it did not suit my OC. That’s okay if that is how you want your novel to be presented, but it just wasnt what I was expecting. I also may just be judging a little too soon since theres only a limited amount of chapters so far.

  2. I skimmed through preexisting comments so I believe this was mentioned briefly, but in the beginning the MC feels pretty weak. I’m assuming that the power dynamics are going to change as the book progresses but it would be nice to choose strengths and weaknesses in the beginning or near beginning to give MC a small chance to shine.

That’s pretty much all I have but again, it’s amazing and has a tooooon of potential. I’m really looking forward to this

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Wow , I somehow did not know you commented??? It didn’t appear in my notifs, weird. But, I am here to finally acknowledge, I apologize for being 3 days late.

  1. I will go ahead and warn you that MC is presented more or less the same in the rewrites I’m doing. In fact, it may have intensified so might end up hating it. :joy: There’s a delicate balance I have yet to find, which I’m hoping I can navigate with choices. If you want MC to stay sassy, choose sassy options. Or if you want them to be kinder, choose friendly options. Does this make sense? I think there’s enough that your first point of critisim is valid. I mean, we tend to judge how good a book is or might be in the first chaper or three!

  2. Another thing I’m working on! I haven’t thought of your idea before, despite the number of these things I’ve played :woman_facepalming:, so it sounds interesting. Having it brought to mind has me thinking how I can write MC to be charming or witty, or stealthy. :thinking:

Thank you for bringing these things to my attention! I know I never fixed the many errors here, so I’m surprised it didn’t deter you :joy:. I’d upload the new first chapter if it wasn’t so radically different, so I hope you’ll wait for updates!

although I am posting here and there on tumblr. Namely snippets of the new writing- sELF ADVERTISING

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Few minutes into the story and I’m already 100% hooked. I loved playing with my smart-ass but caring mc, I wish there could be more games I could play like this. Good job, you :]

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Aw, thank you! I hope those feelings don’t change when I reupload the new chapters!
edit- might i suggest Wayhaven because :eyes:

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