Ilyaaren: Citadel

This is an active playtest – a work in progress.

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Interesting start, and what appears to be good MC development option. I look forward to this story.

I’m liking the mc customisation. Looking forward to this game :slight_smile:

Still getting the nonexistent variable 'father' bug, I’m afraid.

(The bug on the orphanage path seems to have been fixed fine, though.)

urgh what the hell. it exists. >:C let me see what i can do. i might need to create a new dashingdon.

I also get that bug when I choose the noble path. Had to extend my sentence a bit to get 20 characters otherwise couldn’t post. The orphan path works fine.

ughhhh, okay let me see what I can do. It should be fixed. It’s working fine on my end.

update: it is officially working on the dashingdon link. If you’re still having issues, please refresh the page.

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It works now, thanks. :grin:

I did feel a little put off by the “handy, dandy, hanky”. Is this supposed to be “handy” (i.e. useful) and “dandy” (i.e. stylish), which is what it currently reads as, or “handy-dandy” (i.e. just handy)? If it’s the latter, it needs to be hyphenated; if it is the former, then it might be best to choose different words to avoid confusion.

Keep up the good work! :smile:

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On the orphanage and runaway routes, does the mc even learn how to read? Since this will eventually transition into a magic school game, not being able to do something that basic would be highly embarrassing.

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← a notebook I had growing up, and I wish my mom hadn’t disposed of.

don’t judge me, okay. Though if I actually did type “handy, dandy, hanky” I had one too many commas.

That’s a good question!

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Well if we can’t expect my mc to refuse to do any magic lessons or other activities until they have taught him .

Hmm…seems the orphanage may actually be least likely to teach the skill, as I can imagine at least one of the other runaways in the little band maybe having run away from an arranged (noble) marriage too and to be willing to teach us, even if the band has only one or two books and we have to learn to write by writing in the sand or mud (so our handwriting likely won’t win any awards but at least we can read).
Although even in the orphanage expect my character to look for a way, if at all possible. If not then well that magic school had better make it their first priority to get him up to speed real quick.

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To answer the question you posed a while back I’d prefer biweekly updates of middling length.

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I guess my main problem is that “handy-dandy” feels very vernacular; i.e. the sort of thing you might have a character say, but not put directly into the prose. In addition, it feels like a very odd adjective to use to describe a handkerchief… It’s not really a problem; just something that feels weird to me, and if you think it works there, fair enough.

On a much better note: I can be in an arranged marriage to another boy! :heart_eyes: I mean, I have no idea if I actually want to be engaged to him, but the fact that it’s there is just awesome!

As another point, based on your picture further up, it looks like you don’t reset the indent when you’re writing code. This will not necessarily cause any errors, but it could make reading the code quite a bit harder for you. Indeed, the *fake_choice command will do this automatically for you, and you don’t need *gotos and *labels. In addition, if you’ve just set the personality, you hardly need to use an *if clause to determine it; just drop it into the *choice. I would suggest something like the following instead:

  #I respond sarcastically. (set temporary personality: sarcastic)
    *set personality "sarcastic"
    "No clue, Mother Bertie.... [Rest of sarcastic response here]
  #I respond politely. (set temporary personality: polite)
    *set personality "polite"
    [Polite response here]
  #I respond cheekily. (set temporary personality: cheeky)
    *set personality "cheeky"
    [Cheeky response here]
  #I ignore her. (set temporary personality: stoic)
    *set personality "stoic"
    [Stoic response here]
[Story continues here]

I don’t like using fake_choice too much, because it almost seems to turn into a crutch. I also plan to make personality pretty important – a lot of the conversations “you” have are determined by “your” personality. Hence, the if is important. The conversations are vastly different–and some characters prefer sarcasm, others prefer politeness

and yet others are bigger fans of the stoic among us.

Some authors like to write in responses to conversation as choices…I prefer to go the route of Mass Effect – you get the general idea of what you’re gonna say, but I’m gonna decide what you say. If people end up not liking it, it’s not too difficult to re-code, but I like how it’s turned out so far, personally.

HOWEVER – for the actual setting-of-the-personality, a *fake_choice might be best. I’ll test it out and see which I prefer :slight_smile:

I wanted to have a third option – for a nonbinary person, but…it worked better for a different character, one whom you meet on the alternatebeginning path. They are fe/male/nobinary, depending on your character’s gender, and they are very much character-sexual.

Also: so far, I have it so that the stats screen is only coded to have the people you meet in your origin path, but all of the characters do come up – it’s just a matter of how your relationship is changed with them.

that’s totally fair – it is my own, personal vernacular. It actually seems to be really common among American millenials. Everyone I know who is within about 3 years of my age, either direction, uses handy-dandy/handy, dandy on a pretty regular basis. It’s like a giant inside joke. I’ll change it, though, so as not to alienate the people who do not fall into the category of having watched that fabulous children’s show.

thank you! Someone answering gives me some form of structure. I think from here on out, I’ll go with that.

I want to answer this so bad, but it actually gives some minor plot points away, if I do so. That just tells you you have a really good question, though :3

annnd, since I never mentioned it before:

Romance does exist. It won’t be very grown-up, or anything, because you’re only ages 14-16 in this game. There won’t be any life-altering feelings or eternal loves (in theory), but that is totally okay. That’s what being a teen is about. A lot of this information isn’t given up-front, and I’m currently procrastinating on my Chinese homework, so!

The romance options are:
Damian Becke
Dorothy Becke
Addison (currently not-coded ;))

Damian, you already know a bit about – same with Dorothy.

Miles and Petunia are…interesting. Miles isn’t necessarily stuffy…but he’s very proper. Petunia is fiery and stubborn. She is extremely salty about the fact that she is not the heir to the throne, despite her siblings all being terrible people (her words, not mine). She is loudly outspoken, a large activist, and a generally good person (though she can be annoying as all get-out, once she starts speaking about the treatment of trolls, or some other nonsense).

Miles has been raised to be proper, so he always acts that way around everyone. He is often shocked at the way Petunia acts, but he rather envies her. She has freedom that he can never dream of, all because she is not the heir to the title of her lands. She is rich, untitled, and rather beautiful – all things that allow her the privilege to speak out, which he greatly envies.

Gray is…well he’s not too horrible a person. He is sarcastic, cheeky, and charismatic. Honestly, he is the epitome of a rogue. There are times that he’s so charming, he can talk the wallet out of your pocket, and you won’t even be angry until three days later. He has his reasons for the way he is, but it does cause him strife with Wilda, who considers herself to be a moral cut above the rest, and a sort of mother to your band of ruffians. Gray is around 17, but he’s not quite certain. (Wilda is in her forties).

Blossom is an interesting character. They are male, female, or nonbinary, depending on your own self-identification (this has not been coded in yet, because I keep jumping around on which origin story I feel like working on). Elves age differently than humans – at about 1/100 the speed, actually. Their teen years are killer, or so I’ve heard. Being a teen for 900 years…their parents have seen some shit. Sooooo, it’s no wonder Blossom ran away. Their name in the Elven tongue is Varsas’liri. There is a meaning, but Blossom’d be damned if they told you. They’re quick-witted, sharp-tongued, and a tad bit brash. On first meeting, nobody but a saint would get along with them.

Addison is your roommate. They are there for you through thick and thin and are your first friend at school. Possibly your only friend, depending on choices. They can be a bit over-bearing with their mothering of you, but you eventually come to appreciate it.


Yes; my point was more that you could fit the entire thing into the *[fake_]choice, rather than that you shouldn’t have personalities. Obviously, you’d separate the personalities using *ifs when they come up later.

(I can see my rich twin as polite and my poor twin as cheeky… which makes them pretty perfect for Miles and Damian, respectively…)

As for the update schedule, I don’t mind, certainly early on. Once the project is long enough, it might make sense to update less frequently, in larger chunks.

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I you want to talk about it, I don’t really mind being spoilered on these forums, unless in the rare instance where I explicitly indicate otherwise. If you’ve already got your vision though, I suppose it would be unnecessary to talk about it further, but if you want to you can always shoot me a PM.

Wait, they let us room co-ed, uncomfortable or well, boring in my mc’s case.
I don’t know if my mc will really be able to stand her trying to mother him, since he either doesn’t have a mother and doesn’t particularly want one at this stage either. As for friends, well that really depends on how she approaches it, wont it?
For example, should my mc not be (fully) literate, he’ll certainly appreciate her (discrete) assistance in helping him catch up on his literacy, but be very, very annoyed if her idea of “helping” would be to just read the textbooks out loud to him, for example, since he’d be interested in catching up and being an equal to the other students, not in being taught “coping strategies” that make him into the poor laughingstock of the school anyway.

Also, again if he can’t read the textbooks my mc would be very unlikely to cooperate with the lesson plan and he would be plain not interested in them using methods of teaching magic, designed for say blind students, on him.

Addison is a gender-neutral name :laughing: if you have a better option, hit me up. I’m not married to the name, or anything ^^; You room with someone of your gender. So there are 2 gender-neutral options, 2 female options, 3 male options. They’re all MC-sexual. I do not feel like coding the monstrosity that was sexuality into a game e v e r again.

(edit: not sure why it quoted you three times…)

[evil laughter intensifies]

Bump – this story is going to get an update before the end of January, if not before the end of December! I finally found my old notes/files, and now that I’m getting settled in at the new job (in my too coolbicle for schoolbicle, because i’m so cutebicle), I have more free time and less study time. Working one job is so great for the hobbies, lmao!

This update will include - a longer, more in-depth “discover your magical powers” sequence, completed intro scenes for all three paths, and hopefully the first several scenes at the school, itself :smiley: