If you could steal anything


If you were in a heist movie and could steal anything, what would it be? Assume that the original heist would go brilliantly, you wouldn’t have to hurt anyone, and the police would lose track of you after your getaway.

As my friend and I got to debating this, we had to break it down into categories depending on how you define the question. So here they are.

  1. What would you steal if you got to keep it afterwards, and magically, no one would question your right to own it?
  2. What would you steal if you had to sell it immediately afterwards to your trusty fence?
  3. What would you steal if you got to keep it, as long as you kept it a secret and never sold it?

It’s up to you whether this question applies to only objects, vehicles, buildings, structures like bridges, etc. I thought of a few different answers depending on what scale we’re working on.


I’m no fun.

I wouldn’t.

Stealing is wrong. Even if I could be guaranteed to get away, even if it was a victimless crime, I still would not do it.

I’d be the worst person in a heist movie.

(Although I kinda want to answer Donald Trump’s hair. It would be a movie where the hair is the key to his power, like Samson!)


1 wining lottery ticket
2 Kim Kardashian
3 Really expensive computer

  1. winning lottery ticket
  2. The Mona Lisa
  3. I got nothing for this. Most thing I’d like to steal would be pointless if I can’t sell or share it.


Do like me and put the name of a random celebrity besides “My secret snoop dog” would be a heck of a cool biography name.

  1. It would have to be the hope diamond mainly because of how beautiful it is.
  2. I would steal 1957 Ferrari 250 Testa Rossa because of how much it’s worth.
  3. A brand new gaming setup.

  1. The winning $300M jackpot lottery ticket.
  2. Fort Knox.
  3. Definitely a gaming rig.

  1. A ferrari from somebody who owned more than one.
  2. Nothing, stealing for solely for money doesnt interest me. Maybe I would steal the moon solely to be able to make movie jokes?
  3. Nothing, I don’t have any solely personal wants in life; and I think it would be miserable and guilt inducing to hide a thing you loved away forever.


I agree with @FairyGodfeather that I would feel bad stealing from somebody in basically any context. But idk how much guilt I would feel stealing from somebody who had 2 of any ridiculous luxury item.


1.A Fighter Jet

2.Kim Kardashian’s Jewelry

3.the Krabby Patty formula


Your heart… <3



Not an entertaining answer, but certainly a valid one that I respect. I’ll take the funny hypothetical as a bonus, thanks.

:disappointed_relieved: Um, guys, stealing people is technically “kidnapping” and selling them is sorta “slavery”. Just pointing that out if you hadn’t realized it.

This keeps coming up, I guess it’s a thing in the news? It’s a pragmatic answer.

That’s exactly what my friend said.

@Shoelip Okay, you got a laugh. :grinning:

  1. Lottery ticket
  2. A bunch of Apple products
  3. Donald Trump (yeah, as in kidnapping)


ugh fine I’m changing my thing
1 wining lottery ticket
2 Kim Jong-un (reasonably Sure he isn’t a person)
3 Really expensive computer



  1. My boyfriend
  2. Something boring. Probably a bunch of decent sized but nameless diamonds or diamond jewelry
  3. My boyfriend

(Totally not clingy :innocent:)


My answers:
What would you steal if you got to keep it afterwards, and magically, no one would question your right to own it?
At first, I thought I’d steal a tank. It would be fun to drive it around majestically and be like, “What? I’ve always driven a tank to work.” And I’d be less worried about societal breakdown. But the novelty would wear off, it wouldn’t keep me all that safe because I wouldn’t want to fire it, and if it ever had a mechanical problem? I don’t know how to fix a tank. My next idea was a palace. I’d steal the deed, keep it, and live in it forever.

What would you steal if you had to sell it immediately afterwards to your trusty fence?
The Statue of Liberty. Art theft is classy, it would make me famous forever, and someone in France probably wants it back. I’m still thinking about something smaller and more realistic, but could you imagine being the one to accomplish that?

What would you steal if you got to keep it, as long as you kept it a secret and never sold it?
It would have to be something important only to you. I’m still thinking about what object would be that significant. Perhaps one of Al Capone’s hats, or H.H. Holmes’ surgical instruments. The dark side of Chicago is something I have a more honest connection to than many of the people who deal in murderabilia.


I would steal the rights to the top selling patents of the worlds wealthiest drug company. I’d be living the good life for a long time! I shall buy Hawaii and you’re all invited!


1: Steal this past national election.

2: Something that would give me enough to have everyone I love live a comfortable life forever more but which the police and authorities would not come after me for stealing it. Since once the Fence gets it, it is only a matter of time before they come after me.

3: The US mint. This would be the perfect thing to own as long as I got to keep it and it was kept a secret.


Probably not, seeing as it was a gift from the lovely people of France.

I think I’d steal a nation treasure, like King Edward’s Chair, or probably some moon rocks. Something with historical significance.


Hmm, actually I might be tempted so steal

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Last_Dangerous_Visions not to keep though. Not to profit on it. Probably not to read it either. Just because, I guess.

ACTUALLY! There’s a number of unpublished manuscripts and stories I would love to get my hands on. Unfinished stories. Authors notes. Sequels to things I want to read and have never been published, and then the author goes and dies, and they’ll never be published. Rightly so even. But still, I’d be the thief who goes around stealing such treasures, worth far more to me than any valuables.

I want sequels to books I’ve loved. I want to know what was going to happen next.


1: The Versu engine, which I would then make open source. (For some reason the Versu website doesn’t say this, but Linden Labs discontinued it and refused to give the rights for the engine over to the creators.)
2: All the gold in Fort Knox
3: ??? I can’t think of anything.