Hunter's Sacrifice (Tumblr link is up)

nonbinary-inclusive
science-fiction
gender-choice

#121

Very true. Sorta like yao gui and death claws in the fallout universe.


#122

To be fair deathclaws in fallout were created by the government before the bombs fell and the just kinda thrived in the wasteland


#123

Aaaand now I’m emotional all over again. Wild how I knew it was coming and it still got me. But yeah, the additions were great! The team felt much more substantial and I got a much better idea of everyone’s character. The descriptions were also a lot better! I felt like I had a way better understanding of everything around me from start to finish, homeland in particular. Honestly just improvements all the way around and it was already great to start with!


#124

Prowlers did evolve from different species, hence the difference in size, shape, number of limbs etc. Theoretically some should resemble felines, other lizards, third rodents etc. Due to living in the wilderness (which is basically ice, ice and more ice), all Prowlers have developed certain shared traits (eg. thick skin, sharp claws). But since people didn’t really get the chance (nor the will) to properly classify these new “animals”, they just called them Prowlers.

Although making them all carnivore doesn’t really make sense anymore, so I’m still working on that part. Suggestions are welcomed.

Did I mention fish are quite possibly the only animal species to survive mostly intact? That unfortunately also means there will be no furry fish.

Marking this for future references. Reading the lore on how others develop their creatures is simply fascinating (+ great for brainstorming!).

Another experiment gone wrong I assume? Man, governing is tough.

@CopperCaravan Ah, I’m glad the descriptions are better :smiley:

This

and

are officially one of the goals of the story.


#125

Actually no they were used to fight the Chinese and they I’m assuming became feral afterwards other than the deathclaws that can talk


#126

DEMO LINK (17K words)

I’ve changed a couple things (mostly the intro) and added some physical descriptions of other hunters. I’m keeping my fingers crossed, this will make it easier to differentiate between team members.

If not, I’m making cards with character profiles and portraits next. Beware.

Enjoy!


#127

I like the idea for making profiles for each of the characters that would really help me when I forget who I’m talking to, but you lose me at making portraits for the characters, I would think using my imagination from the information you gave me about them like there hair colour if they have a scar or their body type would be better.


#128

QUESTION FOR ALL

  1. If I am to make character profiles (without the portraits), what kind of information should it include - age, personality, appearance, height …?

  2. Is it okay, if I put these profiles in the stats screen (under character info) or would you like to see them somewhere else too (if yes, where)?

  3. Who are the least memorable hunters to you? If you have trouble with the whole team, let me know :slight_smile:


@howlin_drak Thank you for sharing your thoughts! Actually, I prefer imagination to character portraits in most cases. It makes for some interesting interpretations and fan arts.


#129

Meh, I’ll chime in…

Maybe how long each one has been on your crew?

Stats screen would be the most convenient choice IMHO (not that I really care what they look like :P).

So I have a TON of trouble with remembering who’s who in books, tv shows, movies, ahem…coworkers :blush: . And with the team in HS, it’s like 100X harder for me because the names are nearly interchangeable. This doesn’t mean that your character development hasn’t been excellent so far, it’s just a natural consequence of starting off with such a large cast.

But, if I may offer some unsolicited advice, don’t stress over people remembering each and every one of the 12. You’ve done a great job identifying the important characters, and readers can refer to the stats screen if they get confused. :+1:


#130
  1. I think have their age, personality or their appearance would work fine, and if you think height would come into play in the story or something else would, you can add it to the profiles.

  2. And yeah have profiles in a small part of the state screen would really help people who are lost.

  3. If I had to pick it would be five.


#131

I think usual dossier would do for me: basic personal data, role in team and skills may be? You know, profile wich MC’s superiors would give to introduce the team to MC.
And button under all stats would do. :no_mouth:


#132

What do you think about making it like a military dossier?


#133

@Elena_H Thanks for both sharing your thoughts AND your advice. While I am decent with names, my brain sometimes decides that someone should be named X, but they are in fact named Y. I can then never tell whether they are called X or Y. It’s terrible.

@howlin_drak Not sure how important height will be, but you never know.

Both are great ideas, thank you!

@Logan3000x And we have a winner. This is brilliant. Expect to see an experimental version soon.


#134

FAQ TIME! (Because it was time.)

As it stands, every fabric that exists in the Society is made from Prowler skin. Since their skin is extremely thick, it can be treated and then cut into thinner sheets and used for different purposes (eg. clothes, parchments, cloths).

Hunters and guards use Prowler skin for armour, but whereas guards use dressed hides (skin with no fur), hunters use pelts (skin with fur). That is not to say that the hunting attire is completely covered in fur; some pieces of armour are made of leather instead (belts, leg/arm bracers etc.). It depends on the hunter, really.

And as you had already guessed – hunters wear pelts for disguise as well for protection. The interesting part is that while pelts dampen hunter’s heat signature and scent to a certain degree (which helps against Prowlers), the disguise is actually meant to fool other humans. Because in this world seeing a big black blob in the distance = Prowlers (even if that is not the case).

Yeah. No wonder some people in the Society are really cranky. B

Hunters either stand or lay stomach-down on the surf. BUT! When surf is not needed for transport, the board shrinks so Hunters can hang it on their back.


#135

Okay, so good news is that I added the dossiers. Not so good news is that command *image is currently giving me problems for unknown reasons poor Four’s dossier is cracked …. At least old images are working as they should.


#136

got this
trouble line 44: Non-existent variable ‘t_gender’


#137

Hey! I was really liking the story so far and your style of writing is great.

I got an error when I was playing through though. When my MC got back to their place and started dreaming, I clicked on the option of the gender of the voice as male, and it gave me a Non-existent variable ‘t_gender’ error. Super interested in where this is going, good luck!

Edit: the exact error that popped up was "trouble line 24: Non-existent variable ‘t_gender’ "
when picking the gender as male for the voice.
and trouble line 44: Non-existent variable ‘t_gender’ when picking female for the voice


#138

@Logan3000x and @EridanK thanks for the report! It should be fixed now.


#139

First of all, welcome back!! I’m late I know I’m sorry I got lazy ;-;

Second of all… I had typos marked out for later but I think VainCorsair got it all, so I have nothing else to say on that for the moment, though I still need to check the update with the profiles! (I’m excited!!)

Third, did you see this coming? You made me love Four even more. Ahh, the additional descriptions about his death scene were great by the way! I got emotional again pfft.

Thanks for answering my questions, too! Didn’t see the Prowler-disguise-used-against-other-humans coming, but it’s interesting, heh!

[quote=“kirakana, post:113, topic:37423”]where you can pick someone to spend time with.[/quote] :raised_hands: thank you I have another thing to look forward to…


#140

I love this work of yours. I’m looking forward to this!