Hunter's Sacrifice (Tumblr link is up)

nonbinary-inclusive
science-fiction
gender-choice

#81

MINOR UPDATE: Demo got updated. Again. This time with cca 1000 words, because Raven hijacked my attention.

Which is also why, there will be no FAQs today.

As always, let me know, if you spot anything strange or out of place or if you just feel the need to scream at Raven’s strange way of speaking. I know I do from time to time.


#82

I’m loving each update and like I said it’s mind blowing. The fact that it keeps me guessing what would happen is fantastic I can’t wait for more :grin:


#83

Thank you! I’m still trying to find a perfect balance between writing enough for a reader to easily follow the story and not saying too much as to not give everything away. So, hearing you say you enjoy it + that it keeps you guessing = the best compliment I could ever get. Speculating is part of the fun, after all.


#84

Keep up the good work, here’s some nitpicking.

Misspelling.

And here.

Should be “making you wait, Captain” or A. Your choice.

This is a weird paragraph, at first glance it’s almost as if Raven is talking to oneself. The MC’s sentence should be separate from Raven’s, I think.


#85

Thank you for your help!

The paragraph in question is Raven talking to themselves. It’s just that some lines got messed up, hence the confusion. It shouldn’t be a problem anymore.


#86

Nicely done. There is an error btw.


#87

@VainCorsair And just when you think you caught them all … Thank you.


So, I won’t be only posting updates on fixed bugs & typos, I’ve decided to make a special list. A list of nicknames based on one’s traits, to be specific. Without further ado, here they are …

TEAM TITLES
Zero: the Shy Strategist
One: the Sarcasm Incarnate
Two: the Questionable Enigma
Three: the Supreme Realist
Four: the Flirty Best Friend
Five: the Super-dependable Crafter
Six: the Secretive People Person
Seven: the Heroic Younger Brother
Eight: the Nonsensical Applicator of Ideas
Nine: the Smiling Diplomat
Ten: the Fighting Popsicle
Eleven: the Obsessive Moral Compass
Twelve: the Cheerful Tester of Theories
Captain: the ??? Leader; also the (un)lucky 13

OTHERS
B: the (Tries-to-be) Polite Napoleon
Trouble: the Loving Troublemaker
Raven: the Gracious President with suspicious Timing
Unknown: Unknown


#88

Finally got around to reading through the update, and it’s my favorite kind - the type that ends on a cliffhanger :wink: Very cool.


#89

No rush! Thank you!! >_<

She’s pretty useful to have around for that purpose then! (as I’m 100% sure she can handle herself in a fight. She is part of Team A after all~)

Still can’t get B to loosen up but shrugs oh well XD Didn’t expect anything else from Raven either, haha.

They’re free?? Oh that’s even better :hushed: I’m just kidding I don’t want to die

Ahh, so that’s the code! Darn, maybe you can input it after you finish writing and coding the rest of the book/game? That way you can use QuickTest until then?

Typos & Stuff


*spits
*fulfillment


*you are/you’re


*off


(These last two pics aren’t typos btw!) I found this gesture cute I just had to say it I’m sorry


Yes, success!! MC: 1, B: 0 :wink:

The talk with Raven? Fun :grin:

also hi it feels like it’s been too long since I’ve been online ahaha


#90
Just me reacting to some of the team titles, don't mind me lol

Yesssssss

I would have died interacting with him

Nice match XD

Lol! Yes!!!

So help my MC the day she meets them again


#91

NOTE: I’ve changed all the choices in the WIP from “you” to “I”, as this supposedly improves the immersion. Therefore, if you spot a weirdly worded option, this is the probable cause behind it.

Next demo update probably won’t happen for a while, since I’m also partaking in Camp NanoWrimo to get some writing done for The Hunter’s Sacrifice.

I might drop an occasional question or two regarding the plot here, just to get some feedback :smiley:


@Elena_H Cliffhangers are simply the best especially, if you are on the other side for once :smiley:

@LauraSikdar

Nod, nod.

Mission impossible. Probably.

I’m curious, what did you expect from Raven?

That’s the plan for now :smiley:

I see you are settling quite nicely into your role as a Hunter. Good Hunting for those pesky little typos.

On Typos

This text will be hidden

I rechecked this one. “Fulfilment” seems to be British English, while “fulfillment” is used in US. I usually write in the former, so I’ll stick to the less L’s variant. Thanks for pointing it out!

Wait till the tide turns :wink:

Glad you enjoyed it, despite Raven’s manner of speech.

hi, hi! it does feel like an eternity has passed every time one is away from the forum

I’d probably die writing him

No worries, though. I’ll strive for others to get as lethal as Four, haha

One of the best there are.

She will need all the help, she can get. The reunion will be quite something.


#92

Okay!~ Ooh, are you able to share what you’re writing for NaNoWriMo?

Challenge accepted~

Hmm, well I will have to wait and see as Raven’s quite mysterious… but I expected him to be reserved, and polite yet intimidating. The kind of person who can smile while he threatens you (lol) and keeps his cards close to his chest.

Ha, thanks~ :grin:

Ah, okay, I was wondering if it was just a regional difference in spelling!

aaahhhhhhh I’m looking forward to it XD

I actually enjoyed his way of speaking too, haha. Little character quirks are fun, and his own didn’t bother me at all ^-^

They’re well on their way!! I’m super excited to see more of them :grin:

seriously SO. EXCITED. Ooh, would we be able to get a side story of their reunion from Trouble’s POV? (By the way, I wouldn’t mind paying for it either, like if you released some side stories as special content on Patreon or another platform? Seraphinite is planning to do that for her series, The Wayhaven Chronicles, and I want to support her too!)

Typos & Stuff


(Not a typo) You changed it a little and I love it!


Bloop, pesky “your” in a choice box

And I didn’t think it mattered before, but you’re right, changing pronouns in the choices to “I” does feel more immersive, at least for this story~


*off
*than?


*had ventured or just *ventured
*so much as
*blink


No need for “as”


#93

I guess I wasn’t clear enough, haha. I’ll be working on this lovely WIP. Wrapping up Raven’s talk and the like.

That sums up Raven pretty nicely. Raven might not be the best fighter there is, but this Chancellor certainly wields words like daggers.

Random

Hah, that is good to hear. I was unsure if I overdid it.

Awesome :slight_smile:

I … didn’t even consider this option before. If there will be enough interest for it, I’ll definitely include it :slight_smile: Side stories are always fun. I didn’t know Seraphinite is planning to do this! Hers will be an interesting read~

Can I just grant you the achievement of becoming the most relentless Typo Hunter? Thank you!


#94

(Whoops, sorry) Ahh, okay! Yayyy, good luck!! I’m sure you’ll be able to progress even further with the story :smile:

Yes. Someone to watch out for, that’s for sure~

YES whoop >_< :raised_hands: I hope people become as interested in Trouble as I am lol. Yup, she answered an ask about it on her tumblr! I don’t know what scenarios she plans on writing, but I do know one of them will be from UB’s POV (or is just N and/or F’s?..) when (if) the MC finds out UB are vampires and becomes scared/distrustful of them. Yay for angst!! XD

It’s no problem at all! :grin: I actually find it kind of fun? Ahaha


#95

I have come out of my lurking to say that YES, there is interest for it it’s me, I’m the interest


#96

I updated character descriptions (both in the demo and here) to clarify certain personality traits of each individual. Let me know, if it is any help.


That would be nice. I hope eventually most of the main cast will become as interesting as Trouble is to you.

Maybe I need to get on tumblr …

Hello interest! I do appreciate your willingness to step forward. There’s nothing quite like a person telling you they are interested in reading more about your story and her characters. Is it okay to ask, who caught your attention?


Maybe I should just do a poll to see how readers feel about getting different takes on the story. Or would it be better to wait until the next update for you to get a better feel for the characters?


#97

To be fair I could care less about Trouble I mean I wouldn’t mind them in the story but they just do interest me but ultimately it’s your story and if you think it will make the story better go for it.


#98

I think mostly Trouble and Twelve, though Zero got me curious about them. I guess it’s because they seem like the most extroverted and I seem to be drawn to characters like that aka I have a type
And Zero just seems like a really sweet person? They’re nice :man_shrugging:t4:


#99

I like them! I think they definitely help distinguish the team members/other characters from one another, and clarify the differences (or similarities) between each.

Reactions (don't mind, I can't help myself aha)

…I had already decided beforehand but now I really gotta watch out for Zero. I’m sure they can handle themselves but - must protect.

Hahaha why can I not disagree with this

Five can cook and that’s awesome

tHEY’RE STILL THERE AHH Have I mentioned I’m also weak for the best friend to lovers trope? they just keep getting me

I wonder???

Welp

I’m sure they will :blush: Regardless, I’ve already decided to protect my team as much as I can :grin:

Only if you want to! If you do make one for your story I’ll be sure to support you there as well ^-^


#100

My apologies for the late reply. My answer won’t be particularly interesting, nor helpful, I’m afraid :relaxed:

My Captain (possible spoilers)

It’s somwhat hard to say right now as he is dealing with the super freaking sad :cry: death of Four, so his demeaner is likely more apathetic.
I would say that he is a compassionate and honest person who will do whatever he can to help others. Despite this, his face does tend to appear somewhat emotionless if one doesn’t know where to look. If one knows him, or is at the very least used to being around him, A’s feelings are usually pretty obvious; if the world was less…apocalyptic(?) he would wear his heart on his sleeve, so to speak.

Anyway, Cap A treats his team as equals and will dislike anyone behaving negatively towards them. He will abide by the rules and be polite to authority but regards the safety of others over anything else.

Sorry kirakana, I wasn’t entirely sure how to answer your question and I just kinda rambled :sweat_smile:

Anywhoo, loving the demo even though the beginning is heart-wrenching.
But in a good way!
. You’re doing a great job and I’m super intrigued to see where this is going :blush: