Hunter's Sacrifice (Tumblr link is up)

[Elena_H]

Hey there! I was checking out your game (which I think is phenom so far, btw), and I ran into this:

Figured you’d want to know. Keep up the great work!

[LauraSikdar]

@kirakana

Is MC too quiet or doesn’t speak up nearly as often as you would like them to?

Hmm… I think I would like my MC to speak up more, but I also think that applies to what kind of captain the players want to make (since I see some want to make their captain quiet but mysterious)? I also figured the MC would get to speak more a little further into the story - we do have an upcoming report to make after all, and that’ll require some conversational maneuvering - which is why I don’t have an issue with the shorter lines right now.

@kirakana

You sure you want to go down that road?

Lol noooo I love love I couldn’t think of it as that XD Nah I just meant I wanted to make one of my MCs a small, easily angered child captain XD

[kirakana]

Demo link: you should be able to determine your gender in this one. Let me know, if everything is working okay. (Also, some scenes might be a bit different to before.)

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@Logan3000x

@Logan3000x

usually I comment on the wip I like

I’m taking this as a big compliment. Thank you.

@Logan3000x

zero more than others

I’m glad you like Zero, who is definitely in need of some love.

@Elena_H Helllo, welcome and thank you! The bug should be fixed now.

@Elena_H

I was checking out your game (which I think is phenom so far, btw)

You are too kind It’s an honour to hear this compliment coming from an author of your calibre. And if I may - what kind of a captain would you like to play?

@LauraSikdar Yeah, I was planning on expanding both MC’s personality as well as the length of their lines. Now if I only could stop imagining the captain throwing a tantrum for no reason

[Elena_H]

@kirakana

And if I may - what kind of a captain would you like to play?

Oh gosh. Haha I have no idea. After my first playthrough my stats were all over the place

I guess I tend to go for diplomacy (merciful, compassionate, high leadership) and individuality when shaping a character.

[LauraSikdar]

@kirakana

Now if I only could stop imagining the captain throwing a tantrum for no reason

Aw man, I forgot. That position’s already taken by Captain B gshsgshsvs I’m joking I’m joking B’s only provoked my second-in-command, he hasn’t lost composure yet (yes this means I plan to make him do so one way or another)

Typos & Other Things

Continuity error?

*it

*roll? Or “[…] and, after rolling it into a thin pillow, rest your head on it with a soft sigh.”?

![IMG_5055|690x379](upload://s5CJGcn5UkUHyWufC4kaLALPjPv.PNG
*rapping knuckles

)

I’m assuming this is sarcasm because the last option sounds more serious? I like it, would love to see more choices like this XD

*in a nearly

I don’t think the character took out their dagger in-text before this?

For the life of me I can’t remember if Zero’s whole line/complete thought was revealed in the previous version of the demo and then somehow hidden in this one but I’m thinking that’s what happened since it would make more sense for the following paragraph.

…lol

Turns out I have more questions! With no other preamble, here they are!

• Where is Trouble, or what happened to them? I figure that might be a spoiler but it’s been in my head ever since only seeing them in a flashback, so I thought I’d at least voice it aha.

• Do the Society members who aren’t part of teams have names or identifiers? Or do they just go by labels such as boy, girl, operative, hey you, etc.?

• I think I may have forgotten that this happens because I have a vague feeling you mentioned it somewhere, but do the hunters wear monster suits as disguises or something (the leather and fur you described)?

• Not a question actually, just - the cots were…not what I imagined them to be at first lol. Ouch.

• How do the hunters ride their titanium surf board things? At first I imagined the hunters standing or laying stomach-down on them, much like an actual surf board, but this line, “[w]ithout the cool weight of titanium on your back […]” makes me think that they, well, ride it while lying on their backs? Unless it turns into a capsule of some sort? Just curious, ehe…

• What kind of government system does the Council use? I read there are legislative, executive, and judicial branches, but does one branch have more power than the others? Or is it more of a checks-and-balances system? Are Raven, Bull, and Fox the sole figures with those political powers or do they have advisers, representatives, and/or a vote system? Sorry about all the questions, I don’t even like politics XD but I guess I’m just curious about power-plays in the Society you’ve created hehe

By the way, I found the scene where you choose your character’s gender smoothly inputted in the story (and the Relationships tab works again! ) That’s all, I think!

[kirakana]

Hah! B the Big Baby. I’m sure making B lose composure will not be as easy, unless Twelve is around. Or will it?

I … think I’ve managed to hunt down most of the things you have mentioned

Safe for this one

Nope. I see nothing. Am I the only one?

On Typos

@LauraSikdar

I don’t think the character took out their dagger in-text before this?

The was the whole point of the sentence was that the character pulled out the dagger without being consciously aware of it and have only realized they were holding it, after hearing B speak. Is it too vague?

@LauraSikdar

I’m assuming this is sarcasm because the last option sounds more serious? I like it, would love to see more choices like this XD

I’d love to see the decision you were referring to, because I think images have gotten a little mixed up in your comment.

@LauraSikdar

By the way, I found the scene where you choose your character’s gender smoothly inputted in the story (and the Relationships tab works again! ) That’s all, I think!

Nice to hear they work! I’ve poured my soul into those descriptions, since apparently writing “I like you” differently for each character is not as easy as it seems.

And I’ll return to your questions later to make sure I answer them properly

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NOTE: there might be something interesting waiting for you in the side stories. It’s fairly short, though.
Demo

[LauraSikdar]

@kirakana

Nope. I see nothing. Am I the only one?

Aaahhh sorry, I should’ve clarified! There’s no typo there, I was just laughing at how salty B apparently is XD And I accept the challenge! Somehow, in whatever form, he will lose composure! (I hope XD )

@kirakana

I’ve poured my soul into those descriptions, since apparently writing “I like you” differently for each character is not as easy as possible.

Lol well they’re great, I love descriptions of a character’s relationships with the NPC even more than seeing the percentages >_< It’s just more fun in my opinion haha~

Thank you! I’ll be waiting patiently

@kirakana

NOTE: there might be something interesting waiting for you in the side stories.

Ahhhhhh I’m excited ^ I can’t read it right now as I’m out, but I’ll read it as soon as I can!

Edit: *yells upon seeing the title*

How dare you make me like the dead guy even more

Sunshine characters are one of the types of characters I adoreeee and Four is. that. TYPE. A friendship between Mr. Brightside haha I’m lame and Mr. Asocial??? I look forward to seeing more of their dynamic!! But it’s gonna be sad seeing/hearing memories from One ;-; I’ll be protecting this boy till the prologue :')

[kirakana]

@LauraSikdar

how salty B apparently is XD

Very, very salty. Like sea-level of salty.

And you will definitely be able to get under B’s skin; the potential is already there

smirks upon seeing the title Okay, not really.

@LauraSikdar

Sunshine characters are one of the types of characters I adoreeee

Don’t worry; there are other sunny types in the game! Like Six. And Eight to a degree. Maybe Five when she is interacting with Eight?. Would Twelve count?

Ah, I know! Trouble! Trouble is often cheery even if they have their own brand of cheerfulness, so it’s not all gloom and doom. Looking through the rest of the cast, I just realized, how many are either A) introverted or B) wearing a mask (Persona style!) Do I have a problem? And that is even without considering the Captain …

Honestly, I was kind of surprised by just how snarky One turned out to be. I always thought he would be one of the self-righteous types but apparently B won that title, so now One is the Sarcastic One.

Questions for you

Number 1:

@LauraSikdar

I’m assuming this is sarcasm because the last option sounds more serious? I like it, would love to see more choices like this XD

I’m curious - which decision were you referring to?

Number 2:
What do you think that happened to Trouble?

Number 3:
If you had a chance to talk to B, what would you like to say or do?

[LauraSikdar]

@kirakana

Very, very salty. Like sea-level of salty.

I love it XD Yessss watch out B

@kirakana

Okay, not really.

Lol! I noticed that about Six XD I didn’t realize Eight was a sunshine child, although she does seem like the less serious one of the pair with Five. I didn’t think Five could be as cheerful as some of the others, but she brightens up more when she’s talking to Eight??? ADORABLE. Hmm, I guess Twelve could count… but - currently - I see her as more of the gung-ho/always ready for a fight type of character XD

@kirakana

Ah, I know! Trouble! Trouble is often cheery

Why you gotta do this to me holds chest Ahhh, I knew I liked them for more than the childhood friend trope Their own brand of cheerfulness hmm?..

I don’t mind a large cast of introverts and masked personas, lol! For a second I thought of the PS game but that- that’s not it, is it? Being an introvert myself, it just makes it easier to relate to those characters XD And discovering the reason(s) for a person’s facade/their real personality is usually worth the effort~

@kirakana

Honestly, I was kind of surprised by just how snarky One turned out to be. I always thought he would be one of the self-righteous types but apparently B won that title, so now One is the Sarcastic One.

We all need at least one Sarcasm Incarnate in our lives XD I don’t know what I would’ve done working with another salty self-righteous person

Answers For You

Number 1: …I didn’t even notice that I didn’t upload the image lol. Welp, here it is -

Number 2: Oh gosh, I have no basis for these but… Trouble could have left the Society, either by getting stranded/(supposedly) dying during a Hunt, doing something that resulted in exile, or even choosing to run away when they got old enough and taking out their nano counter?

Or maybe Trouble’s still in the Society but goes by a different name? After all, Trouble is what our MCs called them, not what the rest of the Society called them~

Number 3: Honestly I just want to mess with him Mm, more seriously though… Depending on what the Society requires us to do next, if that involves moral questioning, I’d like to at least get him to think about whether or not the rules and laws established by the Society are justified. Horror or uncertainty at his/others’ actions showing on his face? I don’t know, sounds somewhat satisfying haha.

And if pursuing a romantic relationship with him, well obviously there are different ways I’d want him to lose composure Would his surprise show easily on his face if our character flirted with or was flustered by him? What if I could make Mr. Salty smile!!!

[kirakana]

I should just write about Five and Eight next, for these two are one of the hardest for me to write.

@LauraSikdar

Hmm, I guess Twelve could count… but - currently - I see her as more of the gung-ho/always ready for a fight type of character XD

She might surprise you

@LauraSikdar

Why you gotta do this to me

It’s a bad habit.

@LauraSikdar

I don’t mind a large cast of …

Well, if you thought I was referring to Persona by Atlus (the video game for PlayStation) you were indeed correct Big faan over here.

@LauraSikdar

what I would’ve done working with another saltyself-righteous person

You could always make a party for those party poopers. Or just bring someone sweet to compensate.

@LauraSikdar

Would B’s surprise show easily if our character would flirt with them?

B’s quite an expressive little charmer, who has trouble hiding their emotions. Imagine all the trouble that gets them in.

Thanks for uploading the image

[kirakana]

To make this an easier read, I split @LauraSikdar’s questions (I hope you don’t mind it, Laura!)

FAQ TIME!

Where is Trouble, or what happened to them? I figure that might be a spoiler but it’s been in my head ever since only seeing them in a flashback, so I thought I’d at least voice it aha.
All I can say, that they are alive. Probably.

Do the Society members who aren’t part of teams have names or identifiers? Or do they just go by labels such as boy, girl, operative, hey you, etc.?
Shorter version: Names are constructed like this: profession+ rank + department= officer 113A

Longer version: I need to divide this in parts, haha.

• If a person has a job, then they are called by their job title, when interacting with someone outside their work field (eg. your captain talking to the officer).

So Zero (your Zero) would be called

@Hearts

Hunter 0-A

The “A” at the end indicates you are referring to Zero of Team A, since each hunter team has their own “Zero”.

• If a person is interacting with someone of the same profession, they usually use their numeral identifiers + job title; if the two are on more familiar terms with each other, they can always use just the numerals (eg. one officer would call the other officer: »officer 113A« or »113A« or »113« depending on the nature of their relationship)

• When addressing children, labels would be used(boy, kid, girl etc.) or, in rarer cases, the titles of their caretaker + the child’s number in class, unless the child is yours,

• Between family numbers, nicknames can be used (not favourable in the eyes of other people, but not outright forbidden either). Usually, only shortened version of one’s position would be used (that is the numeric part).

• Chancellors are the only ones to choose their own title usually choosing to take on a name of a dead animal species, though these names are rarely used as standalones. Most often a person would address a council member as »Chancellor« or »Chancellor Raven«. When addressing each other, Chancellors use their chosen name (eg. Raven).

Wouldn’t be easier to use names and surnames? Yes, it probably would, but I have a perfect explanation for this.

Here’s the answer I gave to @cottoncandy

@kirakana

A name is a (more or less) unique title given to a person and can to an extent define said person as a “Mary” or “John”, which goes against the Society’s values; as the Society promotes collectivism versus individuality. If a person desires to take on a name, this translates to “I don’t want to be just a part of many. I want to be my own person.” A dangerous line of thinking from the Society’s perspective.

Numbers on the other hand are extremely impersonal and hold no other significance than to reflect one’s current position. A person can be Zero of Unit A, but that title only means they are the lowest-ranked member of that particular team.

Owning a name is actually considered a privilege, granted to the higher ranks (MC, for example, is one of such people).

Hope that explains it! I will be back with more answers in a day or so.

[LauraSikdar]

Thank you for taking the time to answer them!!

@kirakana

All I can say, that they are alive. Probably.

Thanks, that’s all I need to know XD

@kirakana

Shorter version: Names are constructed like this: profession+ rank + department= officer 113A

Ahh, okay! I think I get it (the long version too)!! I figured the numbers were an impersonal way of calling members of a society believing in collectivism to the extreme, so I’m glad you explained that further here ^-^ Using numbers is much like labeling the members as different parts of a machine, pieces structured together to make one whole being function. Except here, of course, it comes at the cost of their individuality.

I did not know one could actually own a name though, and I think that’s a really cool concept to have in this story

The fact that ravens, foxes, and bulls are extinct… Crazy. Could you tell us what animals are still alive, if any? I just keep asking questions ahaha ahhh don’t mind me

Thank you for answering in such detail! I look forward to the others

[kirakana]

Can’t believe we reached 90 You guys are great. Have a

General announcement: Demo went up to 12k words (not published yet). Unfortunately, B’s being all hot-and-cold lately, jumping between talking too much or saying too little, so their lines need a little bit of polishing. Sigh.

Which reminds me - do you prefer shorter but more frequent updates or longer and rarer ones? And where do 2000 new words even fit? Short? Long? I have no idea.

I’ve also changed the intro text and played around with simple visual effects. While I like the idea of screen changing colours, it can get tiring. What do you think?

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@LauraSikdar

labeling the members as different parts of a machine, pieces structured together to make one whole being function

I couldn’t have put it better myself. Seriously.

@LauraSikdar

Could you tell us what animals are still alive, if any?

Only Prowlers, the cutesy creatures that they are, I figured they would be enough to awaken protective instincts in people. I’d advise against cuddling them, not only because they would quite obviously tried to bite your (insert body part) off, their fur is not exactly the nicest thing to touch.

If I might dare to quote myself

Prowlers, as these beasts are called, are believed to be the remnants of ancient animal species.

Basically, they are all that’s left of the animal kingdom. Your new neighbourhood-friendly mutated dogs/kittens/something else.

[Elena_H]

@kirakana

Which reminds me - do you prefer shorter but more frequent updates or longer and rarer ones?

I’m always a bigger fan of shorter but more frequent updates, but I know that’s exceptionally difficult to pull off. Looking forward to the new content whenever you’re ready, no rush!

[RovePaw]

@kirakana

Which reminds me - do you prefer shorter but more frequent updates or longer and rarer ones?

Honestly, updates are always exciting regardless of lengh. Personally, I say go for whichever makes you the most comfortable. And if you sometimes feel like switching it up a bit-say you reach a certain point and want to update sooner or later? That’s fine too! Update whenever you feel ready to

[LauraSikdar]

@kirakana

I should just write about Five and Eight next, for these two are one of the hardest for me to write.

I somehow completely missed this (but do it! do it! do it!)

@kirakana

She might surprise you

Cool, I love surprises >_< well, depending on the surprise haha, but this feels like a good one

@kirakana

It’s a bad habit.

Tsk tsk. Careful, that’s a piece of my heart you got in your hands.

Yesss, I was talking about Persona! Unfortunately, I can’t play the game myself because I’m broke and can’t afford a PlayStation but I’ve seen posts of it! And a few anime episodes! It’s interesting!! >_<

@kirakana

You could always make a party for those party poopers. Or just bring someone sweet to compensate.

Good point! Say, would Six lighten up the atmosphere?

@kirakana

B’s quite an expressive little charmer, who has trouble hiding their emotions. Imagine all the trouble that gets them in.

Oh nooooo. B’s the one in trouble?? “Expressive charmer”? Ah ah, no, I think I’m the one in trouble. Get it? B, Trouble, two ROs I’m certainly gonna play for. Darn it.

(No problem about the image! Totally meant to share it in the first place XD )

[LauraSikdar]

To be honest, I love it whenever the screen changes color at the serious parts! The first time I saw it in a HG WIP, I was amazed. So I’m completely fine with it, but I have no idea what it takes to code it, and if it’s too much or unnecessary work for you, then it’s ultimately up to you to keep it in the end.

As for the updates, I prefer longer yet rarer updates, just cause it seems like creators can put out more content with understandably more time to do so.

I agree with the others though, that you should update at a pace that you feel comfortable with! And if you need to switch it up a little, well I’m not one to complain! Cheering you on

@kirakana

Only Prowlers, the cutesy creatures that they are, I figured they would be enough to awaken protective instincts in people. I’d advise against cuddling them, not only because they would quite obviously tried to bite your (insert body part) off, their fur is not exactly the nicest thing to touch.

“Cutesy” and “neighbour-hood friendly” huh? Sweet! Where can I get one??

Ah no, question alert. So then, are Prowlers the result of evolution and adaptation to the world’s new, scarcer environment, or did someone think it was smart to mess with animal DNA more than they should have?

[kirakana]

So the demo got updated. Partly thanks to my tablet, which I use for writing, since it won’t charge anymore.

The content still needs polishing.

Do let me know, if there’s anything strange going on, while dialoging

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@Elena_H You are in luck today I do like the idea of short updates, since it is easier to find bugs & grammar mistakes. On the other hand, players don’t get that much new content. I could always alternate between the two.

@RovePaw Hello and thank you for your comment! Switching between the two is certainly an option I’m leaning towards. Say, can I ask (what I ask just about anyone, who swings by) - what’s your captain going to be like?

@LauraSikdar

@LauraSikdar

I somehow completely missed this (but do it! do it! do it!)

The excitement is catching. One Side Story coming up! Eventually …

@LauraSikdar

Good point! Say, would Six lighten up the atmosphere?

That totally depends on who else is there.
People Six could handle, if they were being, er, not cheerful: Zero, Two, Three, Four, Five, Seven (obviously), Eight (maybe), Twelve.

Eleven would be a problem, while Nine and Ten are a mystery. One … One would mostly appreciate her efforts and Trouble would be probably try to pull a one on her. B would full on ignore her. Raven? Raven doesn’t really do cheerful, unless “smiling politely” counts.

@LauraSikdar

Where can I get one??

Have a sleepover outside. You’ll get a pack for free good luck staying alive though

@LauraSikdar

are Prowlers the result of evolution and adaptation to the world’s new, scarcer environment, or did someone think it was smart to mess with animal DNA more than they should have?

I’ll save that question for the next FAQ, which will probably happen tomorrow. Stay tuned!

@LauraSikdar

I have no idea what it takes to code it

It takes me exactly this: *script changeBackgroundColor(“black”). Quicktest doesn’t work unfortunately, if I use it.

Off-topic, but I love Persona 4 Hero

Persona is amazing. Tbh, I’ve only played the Portable version and P4 … P4 the Animation is hilarious. Especially the date cafe scene.

Yosuke cracks me up every. single. time.

[VainCorsair]

It’s great, has a lot of potential, I’m enjoying the atmosphere.

Here are some errors:

Quotation mark is needed before the ‘I’m’.

The ‘to’ is in the wrong place and doesn’t need to be in the sentence anyway.

Misspelling.

[kirakana]

Thank you for both your kind compliment and for catching the typos. They should be fixed now.