Hunter's Sacrifice (Tumblr link is up)

nonbinary-inclusive
gender-choice
science-fiction

#41

heroic/vigillante characters or villanious people. It all comes down to what view you have we all have different views what is good and evil.


#42

You are absolutely right, of course. I’m hoping to explore the whole “it’s a thing of perspective” argument in the story. Still, games (COGs included) often keep track of how “good” or “evil” certain choice was and use it to add flavour to the text. Both endgings and relationships with NPC can be affected by those two stats. But I am going off topic here.

Anyway. It looks like I’ll be in fact updating the demo this weekend, even if I haven’t decided where exactly to end it. Before or after Twelve, that is now the question.
CURRENT WORD COUNT: 10.014


#43

DEMO UPDATED 17. 6. 2018!
Word count: 10k


#44

AHH brb Imma check the update now!!

Edit: Okay, I took longer than I intended because I suddenly had to go out and couldn’t finish reading, but I am back! Some things~

Is it just me or did you give us more choices than before (for example, in the drinking with the team situation)? If so, thank you, it’s awesome, I love seeing a variety in choices! >_< If not, I guess I’m going crazy and just ignore this part lol.

I have no idea who Captain B is but I love the way my team slighted him. I don’t know what he’s done in the past but I was proud of them, haha. Plus his conflicting ideology with Twelve was fun to read and got me curious about the ‘incident.’

I like the comparisons made between Raven and the MC. You have my interest peaked, and I wonder how else they’ll differ… Is he one of the ROs you said we had yet to meet btw?

Again, my lame humor had me laughing at this because - the Society is practically a collective mind. He can sense my emotions as long as I leave them there in the open XD

Typos

For the pic above, should it be: “Please, take a seat.” ?


*retaliating?


*expect


No “the” or perhaps a word is missing? And “from” should be “for”

Also, I see you have a section for side stories/stories from other characters’ POVs!! I’m really looking forward to that, as I love to see how/what others think of the MC and certain events >_<


#45

I’d love to give this another like, because it made me smile like the whole afternoon (thank god I was mostly alone today, otherwise my reputation would suffer a fatal blow as if

There are more choices, yes! Well done on noticing them. I’m trying to implement more personality stats, such as Extravert/Introvert, Suave/Direct etc. to offer a larger variety of in-text reactions. Plus, several variables needed to be defined, such as how you feel about your team (this one is still a work in progress, as I only have like and dislike, will probably add “think of them as pawns/like to use them for your gain”).

More of Twelve VS Captain B clashing to see in the next bigger update!

Both Raven and Captain B are love interests, so there’s only one more left to meet.

I’m glad it tickled your fancy :grinning: Expect more of it from the future especially when dealing with Raven, haha

Thank you for catching those sneaky typos. I almost cried, when I read “You have no intention of retailing” It’s such a wonderful mess that I am kind of sad to see it go.

How did you like the dialogues? Were they jarring or jumpy at any part of the story?

Ah, and if you have any requests for the side stories my mailbox and this thread are ready :sunny:


#46

This makes me so happy ahhhhhhhhh :blush::grin: x10 that’s a compliment in and of itself, I’m glad I was able to do that!! >_< Ahaha, seriously, this is super cool don’t mind me smiling like an idiot because of it ///

Yesss :raised_hands: for choices!! I really like the little details, and the team as pawns perspective will be interesting to see! If I can’t get myself to do a playthrough with those choices, at least I’ll be able to hear about it from someone else’s playthrough XD Would it be possible for the MC to only use the team in the beginning but begin to bond/empathize with them throughout the story? Oh yeah! Will For The Greater Good be more choice based or stat based? Just curious~

Whoop! It’ll be fun, possible injuries and all :joy: Captain B doesn’t seem like a bad guy necessarily (of course that depends on perspective, but then I’m gonna say by society’s standards) - look at me making judgments before I know more about the characters lol - but he clearly accepts whatever rules the Society has in place. It’ll be fun to make him doubt (if that’s possible?)~ DEVIATE! off topic but anyone know Detroit: Become Human?

Yay for more love interests!!! I love it XD You can bet I’m gonna romance Captain B after Trouble lolllll >///<

Hit me with the lame puns :point_right::point_right: I’m ready for the simultaneous cringe and laughter :laughing:

Glad to do so! :smile: (Don’t worry, they’ll be memorialized in this thread XD)

Ahh, from what I recall, the dialogue seemed natural to me, but I’ll do another playthrough as soon as I can to see if there was anything I missed or I think can be added to~

Oh no I’m a sappy and cheesy mess! If you give me this option, I’m gonna be requesting for Team A/RO POVs once we get more team/one-on-one interactions XD


#47

That was epic and I can’t wait for more :grin:


#48

@Ender1 Thank you! Is there any specific kind of character type you would like to play as?

@LauraSikdar

Yes! Your relationship with your team and your attitude towards them can turn either way based on your choices. Which leads us to …

Choice based, hands down. Stats will matter to a certain degree - eg. if your detached stat is high, don’t expect other characters coming to you for love advice (or something).

When Twelve and B are involved? Always :smile:

B is such a bad cookie. I wonder how that came to be …

Thank you!

Practice makes perfect, or so they say. I definitely need to practice different POVs, as they are the best way to develop side characters as well. I mean, just look at Eight and Five. The two keep causing me troubles …

SIDE NOTE: Some of you might have noticed, but I changed the title of the story, as the previous one felt a little too vague. Nothing is fixed yet, so if you have any suggestions/comments, hit me up.


#49


#50

Sweet! I guess I got more MCs to make then :smile:

Awesome!! As fun as stat dependent games are, I gotta say I enjoy making choices without worrying about having enough of a certain stat to continue playing ^-^

asgdhshfsd more gibberish I forget not questioning the rules can lead one to do some questionable things Hmm, only the author knows… :thinking:

Best of luck to your characterizations! I’m sure the more you write, the more you’ll find what you want them to be like~ I won’t be requesting side stories just yet, but I’ll try not to be greedy once I do :laughing::sweat_smile:

I did another playthrough to look through the dialogue, but it still feels natural to me! Really, what I found are just nitpickings, because there was nothing lacking in my opinion.

Typos/Suggestions/Errors


*off


*“The” or “Then the”? Ignore the underlined “are”, that was a mistake on my part, sorry!


Commas? I personally paused at those marked points while reading, but I’m not sure how you intended the sentence to sound, so…


Just a suggestion, but I thought it might make more sense to place the sentence describing Ten’s actions in the paragraph above, after Nine speaks? Because when Seven started speaking ("Captain B […]), I thought it was Ten at first.

Also just another suggestion, but I thought it might sound more like Seven if “we are” was contracted into “we’re”. He just seems more casual than other characters, and contractions tend to convey informality. Nothing is awkward in the sentence as it is now; again, this is just a nitpicking! You know your characters way better than I do, and it was just a little thing I thought I’d make note of.


Like Christian02 found, this error popped up when I tried to view the Relationships tab


It might be better to separate Eleven and Seven’s dialogue here, too?
Should be “Seven shakes his head.”


*kinds
Switch the order of “has” and “already”?


*leans
*"[…] face-to-face with one […]"
Again, thought it might be better to separate Ten and Eight’s dialogue here


*physically
“[…] hear it in person.”
“Almost as if[…]”?


#51

I believe it should be wrists*


#52

The dark, mysterious and silent type if you don’t mind :grin: thanks


#53

QUESTION FOR EVERYONE: regarding the character customization - do you want it, hate it or don’t care about it? If yes, would you prefer to have it before the story start or somewhere inside the story?

Demo (reposted link from the first post)


@Christian02 Thank you for catching those! Pesky little typos … And if I may - what kind of character are you planning to play? I think I am making this the “welcome-to-the-thread” question

@Ender1 One dark, mysterious and silent Captain coming up! Honestly, this will fit quite nicely into the story. I’m more worried about the cheerful, happy-go-lucky types …

@LauraSikdar Your post just blew my expectations out of the water I’d be happy with a “I liked them” or "No, I didn’t, so I am really, really grateful for your efforts. Thank you for your suggestions and your hunt for typos!


#54

I would say Inside the story.


#55

Honestly, I’m fine with both in story or at the start. All I really care about regarding customization is that it’s not a superfluous choice that has no effect on the game and is never mentioned again. I’m not saying it needs to be huge, but maybe one or two lines here or there where MC’s appearance pops up or a character comments about MC’s hair or height or something.


#56

It does make more sense, if the appearance comes in at certain parts of the story. If possible, I’d like that at least your height affects how certain scenes will play out, depending on the difference in size between you and the other character. No idea, if it would actually work in practice.

I did like how Fallen Hero used appearance stats as sort of clues/pieces of puzzle, so hopefully something similar can be done here.


The Selected One
#57

I plan to play a merciful, compassionate, sarcastic, suave, and individualistic male with a good amount of Anger. (P.s love what you did with number twelve, my favorite character)


#58

I’m just glad you were okay with the suggestions at all, I didn’t want to overstep my bounds or offend you with them! Happy to help! :blush:

Personally, I think character customizations are more fun when they’re put into the story ^-^ With the height differences having a possible impact on scenes, I’m tempted to make an MC that follows the Napoleon trope haha


#59

QUESTION FOR ALL: Is MC too quiet or doesn’t speak up nearly as often as you would like them to?


@Logan3000x Thank you for answering. Allow me to welcome you to the thread by what has apparently become the entry question: What’s your captain going to be like?

@Christian02 Nice to hear you enjoy Twelve’s character :slight_smile:

@LauraSikdar Oh, you did an amazing job.

You sure you want to go down that road? :wink: I realize you were probably referring to his height rather than his personality, but I couldn’t help myself. So, enjoy the Napoleon quote.


#60

uhm!.. so I didn’t comment when the thread was first created…usually I comment on the wip I like. (plus having the option of being notified by every thread created in the wip section enabled tend to help)

I want him to be balanced between individuality and society but…the teams safety always comes first…zero more than others.