Hunter's Sacrifice (Tumblr link is up)

nonbinary-inclusive
science-fiction
gender-choice

#21

As someone who gets confused very easily, I’m not a fan of having names as numbers. I get lost :tired_face:

I like playing as detached and ruthless whenever it’s an option. When I picked compassionate answers the stat rose, but when I picked detached ones that stat didn’t rise.

I love when authors put indexes for us to read in the stat pages, so thanks! Would you consider putting in a stat overview so we can tell what exactly our stats translate to? Meaning: high leadership does X. High anger does X. A more compassionate character is X, etc. That picture of the homeland and a little list explaining stuff like what “boards” are would be helpful too.

When going to the bar with our hunters:

I think we should be able to pick if we like socializing or not. Also, when the other child wakes us up to sneak out and offers us a hand to get us out of bed our character doesn’t take it. Maybe this could be an option too, so it could go into our stats. Like if you take the hand it adds to our compassion.


#22

Hmmm, I think I like the revenge driven type. :smiling_imp: hehe


#23

First, thank you for your detailed response and interest! You’ve made several good points that I need to consider.

Stat overview is definitely something I’m planning to include, once their purpose is finalized. Until then, I could put a temporary explanation on their meanings instead.

I think we should be able to pick if we like socializing or not. Also, when the other child wakes us up to sneak out and offers us a hand to get us out of bed our character doesn’t take it. Maybe this could be an option too, so it could go into our stats. Like if you take the hand it adds to our compassion.

Both are very good points! I’ll make sure to add these choices in the next update. Thanks for suggesting them!

As someone who gets confused very easily, I’m not a fan of having names as numbers. I get lost :tired_face:

Unfortunately, the naming system can’t be changed, since it is an established part of the story’s culture.

Longer explanation on names

A name is a (more or less) unique title given to a person and can to an extent define said person as a “Mary” or “John”, which goes against the Society’s values; as the Society promotes collectivism versus individuality. If a person desires to take on a name, this translates to “I don’t want to be just a part of many. I want to be my own person.” A dangerous line of thinking from the Society’s perspective.

Numbers on the other hand are extremely impersonal and hold no other significance than to reflect one’s current position. A person can be Zero of Unit A, but that title only means they are the lowest-ranked member of that particular team.

Owning a name is actually considered a privilege, granted to the higher ranks (MC, for example, is one of such people).

On the brighter side, you have actually met all the important number-named characters of the story :wink: Out of those twelve, two are currently integral to the plot (the rest will probably be treated more like one entity).


#24

On the very first page, it reads “resort to drastic measurements”, not sure but the common saying is actually ‘resort to drastic measures’. Maybe the colloquialism is different where you are from. I have only live in the midwest, south and west of the US, but they would all say it the way I did.

Also the choice of choosing the gender of the child from your past, what does that affect? If that is choosing romantic leanings, that should definitely be more clear.


#25

Like " Hunter 0-A" or literally " 0 of unit A of the hunters"?

:thinking:
" ... maybe, you will eventually became more than friends. Choose wisely. " ? :upside_down_face:

.
:fox_face:


#26

What did you think of the premise? What do you like, what could be done better?

Absolutely intriguing plot and I’m looking forward too more. The ranking system based on numbers is really interesting and I kinda hoped that Zero would be reserved for the MC, after some clarification I understand why that’s not possible, though it would be really interesting to see the MC also having a number (I guess that would be really confusing if there’s a dude running around with the name 10378)

The demo is really well down, love the writing and setting however I can’t help but think that the first scene was really fast paced, leaving me in a confused state afterwards. I’d love to see a bit more atmosphere in such scenes that -i guess- are meant to be terrifying?

What are your thoughts on the MC? What kind of a character would you be interested in playing?

Personally I love MCs with depth and personality that affects scenes in more ways than just changing a sentence. Heavy banter is my passion and that means a thicker involvement with the npcs, in that case it would help the player to immerse themselves into the story. (personal nitpick I often feel out of touch with most CoG I played due to priorities on stats or plain plotline)
Usually I go for sarcastic, compassionate types of MC’s but this premise makes me want to play someone who’s just tired with life, tad bit cynical and sceptical. Then again I try out most options.

By reading the stuff you want to include in your game I have to ask if this will turn out stat heavy/more game-y (choice of rebels kinda, I always dread the winter part but the excellent writing makes it up) or if the story and its characters take priority?

Sorry for the wall of text! (first forum post, hope I did the quoting right) I’ll be looking forward to updates nonetheless and wish you luck with everything.


#27

@2xs You are absolutely right - it should be “measures” not “measurements”. Should be fixed now. Thank you!

Choosing the gender of your childhood friend affects exactly that - the gender of your friend. You will be able to clearly define your romantic leanings (or lack of them) later in the game.

@Hearts It would be like Hunter 0-A, yes :slight_smile: There’s a Zero on every team, but since hunters (sans the leaders) don’t really interact with each other outside their core unit, it is not that problematic. I think.

" … maybe, you will eventually became more than friends. Choose wisely. " ?

Choose wisely :wink:

@Cedion Welcome to the forums! I’m honoured you made your first post about For the Greater Good :slight_smile:

though it would be really interesting to see the MC also having a number

… the original plan was actually for the MC to be “named” after the amount of points the player had at the moment. Now, that would be confusing.

I agree that the first scenes with the Prowlers are rather short with not a lot of atmospheric descriptions going on.

Just the longer version of the answer

I was partly aiming at short, disconcerning scenes since this is how I imagine the bonds feel - a cacoon of emotions, senses, thoughts without clear borders as to who felt/thought/sensed what. However, it is not unlikely these scenes will be subjected to at least partial rewriting to make them less confusing. They are after all the first scenes the player gets to experience, so they have to be good to draw attention.

That and the fact I have to work on my descriptive skills :no_mouth:

Friendly & flirty banters are also one of my vices, so they will definitely be available. The question is whether I can make them enjoyable. When their time comes, I’ll definitely need feedback from fellow banter-lovers :slight_smile:

Will it be more stat-heavy/game-y or story/character-focused?

Uh. Originally, the game was all about the story with the main stats being the relationship ones. Now, the line is getting a little blurred.

Long answer

Stats (with the exception of Humorous/Sarcastic) will determine which actions and endings are available to the player.

Points will also play a role, since choosing certain answers will result in either lowering or rising of MC’s score. Getting the points to 0 = Dead End.

Your decisions will also impact the outcomes of battles/missions in terms of “we won” and “we lost”, but you won’t be able to instigate wars on a whim or get all of your people killed in a single battle (before a certain point in the story, at least).

Your relationships with characters will affect their willingness to support, trust or betray you.

Wall of texts are the best. I hope to see more of them here :smiley:


#28

after the amount of points the player had

Oh this is really interesting, does this also mean you gain (and lose) importance or certain perks in being the leader of your unit depending on points? Seeing how the MC has over thousand points if I remember correctly.


#29

That is a good question :slight_smile:

Benefits are actually tied to one’s position. Technically a person could be a leader of a hunting unit, while possesing a low number of points. Their benefits would be exactly the same as those who share their position within the Society. The main difference is that the aforementioned hunter with low numbers wouldn’t be able to utilise all of the perks of their job because they wouldn’t be able to afford them.

In a sense, points work as a currency, only a person has to pay for literraly anything - from sleep, food, working tools, free time …

As for how the points will influence the story. There will be about five to three bigger actions available (or unavailable) depending on how many points the player has. Mostly tied to killing/harming others.

I have yet to decide, whether the points will also affect other activities, such as how many times you can go out drinking, how much equipment you have, how many times you can heal yourself, whether you can afford to take someone on a date etc.

… And I should probably come up with some other ideas instead of writing “points” and “amount of points” all the time. It gets a little bland after a while. Any suggestions are welcomed :slight_smile:


#30

Time sure flies, when there’s work to do. Anyway, just wanted to let you know, I’ve added short explanations for stats and wrote a short team scene for practice (and to get a better grip on character dynamics, I suppose.)

The Captain arrives (From Six’s perspective)

From the beginning, she had known him as the younger brother of Eleven. Truthfully, their siblinghood was hard to miss with the same wild black hair, high cheekbones and light pale skin. At a first glance, Seven was a carbon copy of his brother, only that he was the louder, prouder and bulkier version of the two.

“What is it?” Even at the tender age of 16, Seven was already on his way to becoming one of the better recognised members on the future Unit A, not as much for his skills, as for his er, big personality.

Six shrugged with a smile, but before she could formulate a reply, a stranger strode into the lounging space of Hunting Division, drawing the attention of every single hunter present. A hush fell onto the unit, all eleven heads turning to the newcomer.

“Who’s the kid?” Seven muttered, studying the arrival with a confused frown.

To Seven’s misfortune, his words caught his brother’s attention, causing Eleven to pinch his nose in annoyance.“Is your short term memory acting up again? Nine literally just said our Captain is coming today.”

Seven barred teeth in response to Eleven’s snarky tone.

Boys, Six thought, placing a comforting hand on Seven’s elbow to prevent what was sure to be a biting retort. Under her touch, Seven relaxed, letting out a frustrated puff. Six allowed her eyes fall to the supposedly new Captain of their unit.

The kid, as Seven so eloquently put it, seemed to be close to them in age. Yet, the way they moved spoke of stone-cold assurance and deadly grace, usually found in experienced hunters. Curious, Six reached out into the bond.

Unlike others in the network, their light was silent, glowing with steady white energy.

How strange, Six thought, circulating around the new light. Usually minds weren’t that quiet or still and this light was …

“Empty,” Seven finished her thoughts for her.

Yes. Their new captain’s light was void of any particular sensation usually be associated with minds; there was no taste, no touch, no smell, no feel. It just was.

The person themselves didn’t seem to be moved by their exchange, eyes sweeping across the waiting hunters, doing a quick inspection of their own. At last, they spoke. “As you are well aware, you have been selected from the handful of candidates to become the new unit A.”

“To be granted the title of A is an honour not be taken lightly.” The Leader shifted, gaze sharpening. ““Slacking on the job will not be tolerated.”

Then their light expanded.

If she wasn’t already sitting, Six was sure her body would fold under the immense pressure radiating from her Leader. It was as if the gravity itself leaned on her back, locking her in one place. From the corners of the eyes, Six saw Seven’s jaw clenching, but he too was trapped by the weight of their Leader’s first order.

“If I find your efforts lacking, I will personally ensure you lose your hunting permits for good.” The person in the middle of the lounge continued, as if they hadn’t just placed the rest of the hunters under a mental lock.

The next moment the pressure was gone, as if it was never there. “Our next meeting is tomorrow at 5 a.m. on the training grounds. Do not be late.”

With that, the newly appointed Leader of their unit turned on heel and left as silently as they have come.

Six exhaled. Using mental bonds to assert command was not unheard of, but actually being on the receiving side was a completely different experience; one Six was not eager to repeat.

“You okay?” Tilting her head, Six met the worried eyes of her companion.

At his concern, something inside her loosened. “I’ll be fine.”

“What were they thinking, using bonds against us,” Seven’s brow furrowed, his eyes fixating on the spot where their Captain has stood. “That was a low blow.”

Despite his words, Six could tell Seven was not impartial to the Captain’s display of power.

“I presume our Leader just wanted to make sure we were as serious about the job as they.” Nine stretched his hands from his position next to Eleven, before giving them a serene smile. “From what I can tell, their message was received clearly.”

Seven didn’t look fully convinced. “What if this will be the regular practice to keep us in place or something?”

Nine’s shoulders rose in a shrug. “It will be, what it will be.”

“I’m sure our Captain realizes utilising mental commands all the time would be counterintuitive,” Six interrupted, locking her hands together. “Hunting teams need to build trust manually in order to work together seamlessly. Especially, if we hope to link minds in the collective consciouss. Using force would be useless in this case.”

“I sure hope so,” Seven muttered, but some of the apprehension drained out of him and he slumped back in his chair.

Strangely, Eleven remained quiet throughout the exchange. “As pleasant as this was, I have to get going.” Nine stood up from his chair and swung his satchel over his shoulder. Eleven rose to follow, a conflicted expression on his face.

“Ta, ta!” Nine chirped cheerfully and waltzed out of the room.

Seven watched them go, arms folded loosely on his chest. Six noted he looked a bit lost, but Nine’s unique personality did the trick of pulling Seven out from the doubts swirling in his head.

“Weirdo.” While his words might have been harsh, Seven’s tone was tinged with amusement.

“Nine is definitely special,” Six agreed, glancing around. Somewhere along the line, the rest of her team had disappeared, leaving only the two of them behind.

“I’ve never thought I’ll say this, but I’m happy we are on the same team,” Seven suddenly confessed, head stubbornly turned away.

Is he embarrassed? The thought made her giggle. His pout was adorable.


#31

Oooh, this is really interesting. I read about the characters before checking out the demo! and I felt so sad??? I didn’t even get to know these characters in-game yet, but the death made me so SAD ugh, Four and One ;-; The premise is seriously interesting though! The mental bonds feel so much like a collective mind, and it’s really cool to see that in a playable character, since I’ve only seen that implemented in non-playable characters.

I’m excited to see an MC start to question the Society’s way of doing things once secrets are revealed~ (if they haven’t been doubting already, heh)


#32

Thank you for your lovely comment! I’m glad you feel invested into characters even though there’s not much interaction going on yet :slight_smile: Mental bonds are definitely interesting to explore for me as a writer but it is a bit of a challenge to still convey what is happening to whom.

This might be a bit early to ask, but is there a specific character you find interesting?

In any case, I hope to hear from you after updates :wink:


#33

I’m actually really interested in seeing how you write the group dynamics!! :grin: So…ahem, One and Four :’) Seven and Six, Five and Eight, Nine and Eleven~ I like how a lot of the members have at least one member they’re close to, even those who sound like they aren’t easily approachable (such as Five), and I’m very excited to see their interactions hehe.

Individually, from the descriptions you gave, I think I was most interested in getting to know Four…again I feel like I’m still in denial that he’s gone agsgsh, One by association lol, Three, Five, Seven, Nine, and Twelve. Oh and now, that rival/friend in the MC’s flashback/dream! I don’t know who they are, or if they were part of the MC’s team (none of the members seemed particularly close to “Thirteen” in my playthrough, which is sorta sad when you see the other cliques :joy: and may prove amusingly difficult for my character to get to know them, but I’m looking forward to it!!) but I’m a terrible sucker for childhood friend romances, and even if that relationship didn’t turn romantic, I’m still very curious to see what happened to them platonically hehe

I rambled a lot but one more thing! A question: If the team grew close enough, how would they feel if Thirteen or one of the other members gave them names that weren’t numbers? Names that set them apart and ruined the order of the collective mind/Society? I like that trope but it happened in an anime called Darling in the Franxx (in which the characters had numbers for identification too), so unfortunately it’s not exactly original ssfsfs…but it seems like a sweet, sentimental thing that could happen to this particular group too :blush:

If it wasn’t obvious, you’ll definitely be hearing from me after updates :laughing: haha! Good luck!!! :smile:


#34

Can’t believe I gave you a like and then forgot to comment. What sorcery is this?

Anyway, I wanted to create a world, where NPCs have different relationships and treat others in accordance with the kind of relationships they have. As you have already pointed out your character is not close to anyone, so building relationships with NPCs is totally up to a player. There’s a reason why “Thirteen” I totally adore the idea of the leader being called Thirteen, mind if I keep it? :smiley: is a bit alienated from others and why their personality is a bit off at some points. I should probably mention that as a team’s leader you will be able to either break or mend certain relationships between NPCs and the story will change accordingly.

Ah, Four. I was kind of sad to see him go, especially since he is one of the good ones and I like him as a character, even if his current role is to die lol. It might change in the future, since my characters have a tendency to do things their way regardless of what I was planning to write.

I’m afraid I can’t exactly say anything on Trouble’s true identity since it would be a spoiler. Rest assured they will turn up sooner or later, since where Thirteen goes, Trouble follows :wink:

As for nicknames: I haven’t planned on the player being able to “name” every single team member, but there will definitely be some nicknaming in the future for the ROs/your closest companions (namely Zero, Twelve, Trouble and two more, who have yet to be introduced). I think it is a nice way of conveying the closeness between two people. Hurray for clichés :smiley:

It seems I’ll have to check Darling in the Franxx purely for research purposes.

I hope I’ve managed to answer everything :smiley: If not, feel free to ask more. I like your questions/ramblings. It gives me an excuse to ramble about the story, haha.


#35

So does that mean i can be a loner i like being a loner.


#36

Ahh, it’s okay! XD Thank you for replying to that mess in the first place! :joy:

You certainly have, hehe! So far, so good :grin: Whoopppp, I’m looking forward to building relationships with all the characters then!! I’m cough terrible at socializing BUT a team that works with each other in sync and is built on loyalty and/or trust is ideally a dream team :star_struck: also more NPC content am I right? Lol. And I think it’s super cool that the leader is called Thirteen (so yes, that’s a vote for keeping the name lol)!! I think normally, people would expect the leader to be called One or something else entirely, but nope, leader has the last numbered name - it’s different, and I like it haha

What :eyes::eyes::eyes: bring yourself back from the dead, Four, pls XD Will we get to learn more about Four in the story? Like through a flashback (though I’m guessing him and Thirteen didn’t have many interactions), or through One (if we get close to him)?

I don’t know why I laughed so loud here, I have the lamest sense of humor :joy: Ahhhh, can’t wait!! >_<

:raised_hands: Yessssss. Gotta love the naming cliche, I’m glad it’ll be implemented here too, hehe!!

I didn’t finish the anime, but the world and the characters’ behaviors/outlooks in Darling in the Franxx are certainly interesting XD so yayyy, check it out. Purely for science, of course :wink:

You have, thank you so much!! Yayyy, I guess it’s a good thing I rambled for once! XD No but really, thank you for replying to all of it with enthusiasm! My fangirling- ahem, I mean, feedback can be confusing or too much, and I’m glad it wasn’t :smile:


#37

that was fun story can,t wait for more


#38

@Andrew_Stapleton It depends on how you define playing a loner. Will you be able to finish the game without forming any special relationship with others? Yes. Will you be able to despise socialising and do everything to avoid the company of others? Yes. Will you be able to ditch every single character and solve/destroy everything on your own? Probably not (at least not till the very end). Your team will be present for much of the story, if only to serve as assets for you to fulfil your goals (eg. win a battle). You also won’t be able to avoid certain interaction, but that doesn’t mean you will have to be friendly or civil to others. How do you envision playing as a loner? What kind of behaviour/choices/actions should this entail?

@LauraSikdar I’ll see what I can do about Four. One will definitely talk/think about Four a lot; unfortunatelly Thirteen themselves didn’t really interact with Four much. Or did they? :wink: Your feedback fangirling is very appreciated!

I’m glad someone finds my terrible puns funny.

@Takashi_Shin That is very kind of you to say, thank you :slight_smile:


#39

How do i envision playing as a loner. Well for one thing i hate being forced to be nice to everyone that just really annoys me to no end plus anyway to avoid being social is a blessing i am only here to do my job not socialize and be nice to everybody plus my own survival is more important than anybody else. leave being a hero to somebody else am not going to risk my life to save people i don’t like that’s my view on being a loner. And i just want to say i love the story dude amazing work.


#40

Thank you for the encouragement and for taking the time to answer my question. Different perspectives are always helpful. Writing for a non-heroic type of a personality is something I am actually quite looking forward to. Honestly speaking, I don’t think there will actually be possible to be 100 % good in the game, since some challenges simply won’t have a “good” solution to them.

PROGRESS REPORT: Since I am constantly going back to the existing demo, the progress has been slow, but the game is nearing 7500+ words altogether (code not included).The plan is to update at 10.000, so only 2500 more to go.

I do wonder, if people prefer playing heroic/vigillante characters or are villanious personas more in demand now.