How the Cards Fall (WIP?)

Hosted Games Works In Progress
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So, um, hello.

I’ve been working on this game for like… two months now? I’ve only gotten halfway through the prologue, and I meant to write more before I shared it with you guys, but my computer developed this GIANT crack in the screen. It makes it difficult to write for one, and then I have to move all my data to a new computer (which I’m not sure when I’ll be able to afford), and uh, yeah. LONG STORY SHORT-- I’m not sure when I can work on this again, so I figure I’d give some of it to you now.

The demo is probably super buggy, and not that long. Oh, and I just started with the stats a week ago, so they’re sort of… yeah. This is honestly more of a ‘sup, just letting you know I’m doing this’ rather than a SRS BIZNISS DEMO. That doesn’t mean I’m not interested in feedback, of course! It just means that… idk, this isn’t meant to be taken that seriously at the moment. SOON, THOUGH ;D

The gist of the story is this: You are the son or daughter of The Seat, a powerful man who holds a sort of feudal power of the powerful city-state, Serres. In the past ten years, the city has spiraled into a political mess-- The Seat’s Consul has become corrupted with wealth; the shady coterie known simply as The Guild has, underneath their new ‘King’, flourished into a nearly unstoppable power; and the common people, strangled by both The Consul and The Guild, have created a resistance group called Genesis. As if that wasn’t enough, the two other cities on the Peninsula are becoming more bold in their grasp for power, land, and religious supremacy.

tl;dr – stuff goes down in your city and you’re in the worst possible position.

A little more information, if you need it… How the Cards Fall takes place in a world that I’ve had in my head since I was twelve. This world is saturated in ‘gods’ (who are more like Japanese gods then, say, Greek ones, but there is still a difference), and the only place in the world where there are no gods to be found is the Péninsule (because of reasons). If that’s a crap explanation, or you have more questions, just ask. I mainly plan on this being a political game, that relies a lot on conversations and alliances. But never fear! There will be blood, and lots of it c:

Oh, and sorry it ends so abruptly. Also I’m sorry it sucks so badly OTL

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/150934985/web/mygame/index.html

8 Likes
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I’m digging it so far, we’re eased into the setting pretty well, and the writing style does its job. I’d like to see more, but I’m afraid when picking my protagonist’s name I get:

"line 10: nonexistent variable ‘first’ ".

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ouo This is really well written, what are you talking about? I love it!

There’s a bug when you ask Anson about the bird on his shoulder, btw. Unexpected # choice or something like that.

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“He doesn’t say it aloud, but you can hear the unvoiced ‘like your father’ tacked on to the end of her speech.” - See gender.

Other than that it seems rather well written, notwithstanding the irritation of there being a monarch called ‘The Seat’.

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This caught my interest easier than a flytrap can.

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“Beauregard is an old name, and their blood is as blue as it gets.”

Wait what?

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Blue blood = royalty.

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Ahhh, thanks guys. That was a lot faster of a response than I thought it would be. I’m alone in my room, but I’m still blushing like mad o///o

@13ventrm Thanks so much, I’ll fix that right now. I remember having that problem earlier ;w;

@Sunbean AH THANKS, I’LL CHECK THAT. I was rehauling that section so that you can ask all three question, and the one’s you picked fades or whatever, so I probably just screwed that up.

@Drazen Is The Seat an annoying title? DDD: He’s called that because each member in The Consul holds ‘a seat’, and he’s technically not a King. If it’s dumb, I can probably call him, like, the Emperor or whatever.

@RagEgniteRagEgnite Haha, what Timaeus said. And thank you, your compliment means a lot to me c:

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@potato
About your reply to Drazen:

It’s a more original name, but I imagine it being confusing with the title of the consul members.

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@RagEgnite Ah, I see. I’ll run the name by a few more people, and ask some folks irl what they think. I hadn’t thought about that before, so I guess I’ll find a way to make it better ;D

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Oh I’m enjoying this so far. It’s well written and interesting and the choices all seem to matter so far.

I hit a bug though when I was tryin to choose a name I think. line 1672: Illegal mixing of spaces and tabs; this line has a tab, but there were spaces on line 1670

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I got the same error.

That being said, your writing is quite good and your ability to effortlessly slip exposition into narrative the way you do is pretty impressive. I also like what I’ve seen of the setting so far. It reminds me quite a bit of the Italian city-states of the Renaissance. If I may ask, what kind of tech level are you aiming for?

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So, I’m working on fixing that error, so that all of the boys can actually get to the game. It’s odd though-- I’ve never even used tabs while making this game? Ah, well, there are a million of them… Thanks for keeping me posted, everyone c:

@FairGodfeather Yeah, all the choices have lasting impact, even if you don’t notice it for awhile. Especially when you talk to Etienne! It seems like such a silly argument, but it matters later on.

@Cataphrak The Péninsule is like the love child of Italy and Southern France, haha. You’re spot on. And of course you can! As long as I’m allowed to ask what you mean by tech level in return, lol (I feel like this answer alone is telling, pfft).

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@potato
What I mean is what the level of technology is, in comparison to our own world’s technological development. Usually, the tech available informs cultural and social development (you can’t have cheap newspapers without a printing press, or fast food without refrigeration, after all) so it makes a good shorthand what the feel of a setting is, at least on a material level.

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This link should be better, guys. You can now get past the naming process, haha. I’m still working on the gender stuff. I missed a few /:

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/150934985/web/mygame/index.html

@Cataphrak OHHHH. Gotcha. The tech in Serres is similar to pre-WWI Europe in most ways. This universe is different from ours in that they have gods that can help with the fertility of their fields, etc, so certain things are less advanced. However, the Péninsule has been godless for around a thousand years, so they are much more technologicaly ‘with-it’ than the rest of their world (Serresians are known for their gadgets and inventions). That being said, their transportation is very behind. The continent is extremely centered on the Pelesette Sea (it’s twice as large as the Mediterranean), so while their ships are first class, trains and stuff were only invented thirty years before the story takes place, and automobiles literally just came out.

I hope that answers your question?

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@potato
It does, quite comprehensively :slight_smile:

Will our character ever become The Seat, and if so, how deep are you planning on going into the administrative side?

Also: it seems like your conversation with Anson at the ball still has a few fixed gender pronouns. Seeing as I was able to get out of putting on the anachronistic frippery my character’s lady mother insisted on, I can’t really see a reason why my poor character is being called “Princess”.

That being said, partially in response to @Drazen’s comment: there are plenty of rulers who have multiple titles. Hell, you could even give a full list of titles and give the player a choice on how they can refer to the position.

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@Cataphrak Yes, you can become The Seat. You can become quite a bit more than that, actually (WINK WINK) ccc;

On the topic of administration… While I’d like to focus on the troubles and trials of a single character, the game is contained within eight or nine parts. The actual story focuses on your fall from grace and your attempts to climb back to the top and then get the city working again (plus the added ‘discover an ancient secret’ stuff, which is another topic entirely).

I was hoping on making three shortish-mediumish length games in the same verse, but they’re all focused on different characters and places. It’s more like Dragon Age than Mass Effect in that regard.

Lol and sorry about that. I write as a girl first, and while I got most of the pronouns and stuff, I still missed a few-- I change little things based on certain choices, and it’s hard to catch them all (sob). I’m working on it c;

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@potato
I shouldn’t really complain: Sabres of Infinity has almost an entirely male cast, but I think it’s pretty standard to have gender variables and just have them switch out with a “$!{pronoun}” thing.

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This is good. I wish I didn’t keep hitting errors though. I’m really enjoying this game. It’s one of the best written, most interesting games I’ve played on the site so far.

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@Cataphrak I suppose, haha. BTW, I just realized you were the author for that game. It’s one of my favorites ;D

@FairyGodfeather I know, I know ;w; I’m sorry. I tried to get them, but I’ve been busy with scholarships and stuff lately. If you come across any errors, though, please send them to me. It helps a lot <3