Hollowed Minds (WIP)

PLOT

You were one of the most promising detectives within the city, bearing a reputation for exposing the crimes of influential people together with a partner.

However, after a few months break full of reflecting upon the tragedy that you may have caused, you are now forced to work for the marshal as probation, capturing heinous criminals under the radar. You’re not supposed to question your orders, and you’re definitely not supposed to conduct investigations on your own.

But when you realize that your current task involves the mess that you’ve created in the past and someone unexpected surrenders for a certain crime, you are faced with a dilemma. Will you stick to the orders you’ve been given? Or will you start making your own move? Conspiracies start piling up, and you will have to depend on your best skills to survive in the city, especially now that certain people are continuously suffering from strange hallucinations that may just change everything.

Maybe this is your opportunity to regain the reputation you have lost…or destroy it entirely.

LINK FOR THE DEMO: Hollowed Minds

Features
  • Play as male, female, or non-binary.
  • Create your own character’s name, appearance, and sexual orientation.
  • Become the hero of the city or be viewed as the villain.
  • Cultivate your relationships (romance, friendship, alliance, hostility).
  • Develop favored skill sets.
  • Find out the secrets of the city and choose what to do with them.
Romance Options

I’ll add more details next time when you finally get a chance to meet all of them in the story. I’d like to avoid giving too much spoilers if I can.

Finn/Faye Wesley

  • Age: 24
  • Appearance: Brown wavy hair, hazel eyes, fair skin

Ethan/Elyse Alonzo

  • Age: 30
  • Appearance: Short black straight hair, brown eyes, brown skin

Owen Russell (m)

  • Age: 26
  • Appearance: Short black curly hair, blue eyes, dark skin

Jade Stein (f)

  • Age: 22
  • Appearance: Long auburn wavy hair, brown eyes, brown skin
Update Log
  • 1/11/2021. 27,000+ words

Please don’t hold back on giving feedback and suggestions, especially if you spot inconsistencies. I’m also entertaining questions, if you have some. This would be the 1st Book in a trilogy, but I’ll make sure that every part will still be able to stand on its own.

249 Likes

this is so good! I can’t wait for future update and I’m shocked to learn that our partner- cough ex-partner now, betrayed us. I can’t wait to learn their reason on why they did that or it just a simple misunderstanding.

I’m looking forward for this!

8 Likes

10/10 prologue. Can’t wait for the next update.

2 Likes

10/10 will probably play every update of this demo 3 times

2 Likes

Really nice and smooth intro, love it!

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Sounds interesting

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This is amazing, I loved the prologue and your writing. I’ll be waiting somewhat patiently for the next update.

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@Shai_Manahan ok when is the next update? im waiting…

2 Likes

:slight_smile: I cannot wait to sock Finn in the jaw. I literally do not care what his reasoning is, I will not hesitate if given the opportunity.
This is one heck of a prologue though! This is gonna be good, I can tell.

9 Likes

Excellent prologue. The flow was good, I got hooked by the premise, and the characters seemed interesting. Loved the pickpocket moment as well. I’ll keep an eye on this one. Cheers.

Wesley better watch their back. No mercy.

6 Likes

time to go back to my Ronaldo phase the man who always wanted Justice and did nothing corrupt to The Bitter End even if it killed him so f*** my ex you didn’t break me I’m going strong and who’s going to be my Joe who knows because reading this made me have that phase back

I’m okay being betrayed if I’m the only one that but involving someone else who has a family really really wants me to punch him or her and the actions really put them in danger

Detectives? fightings? guns? betrayal? sign me up! :grin:

This was amazing. Quite possibly one of the strongest prologues I’ve read.

You do a good job of introducing the world and set the pace of what kind of story we are to expect. Your writing style is very fitting too, although there was some instances where I would have like a bit more room to breathe. To really take in what is going on.

When we infiltrate the building, and we have a choice on how to deal with the goons, I felt like the whole scene was done in a flash. The explosion is also a good example of what I mean. I really liked how you described our senses, that disorienting feeling, the ringing in our ears. But then… It is over. And we’re casually speaking with Richard. Perhaps you could add a choice there? Something that relates to how we’re feeling but, most importantly, to give the reader time to really take in what has just happened.

I just really liked the first half of the scene and feel like it wasn’t as impactful as it could have been. I didn’t even realize it was a literal building that exploded until much later, when we’re escaping.

But speaking of Richard, he and his relationship with the Mc was really the selling point for me. I care about him, I care about his family, and at the end, I was right there with him. Furious at that traitorous bastard. You did a great job with him, I especially like how you described his mannerisms and way of speaking. If he’s a sign of how you write characters, then he’s a fantastic omen.

I’m very excited to see what happens next! I love detective stories, and it seems like we’ll be able to do proper detective work in this game - maybe even outside the law.

Wish you all the best with your writing! I’ll definitely be keeping tabs on this project :heart:

18 Likes

Thank you all for the kind words!

I was planning to do that before but it somehow skipped my mind. Thanks for that. I have a habit of rushing through the action whenever I get excited for the next parts I’m supposed to write (in this case, Wesley’s betrayal). The coding also overwhelmed me at the time since it was basically my first attempt. :sweat_smile: I’ll take note of that and include it for the next update.

The infiltration segment was a miscalculation on my part. I was afraid that maybe the pacing’s getting slow when I was writing it so I made it short. Will fix that!

You’ll meet more characters in the next update. Each of them has their own goals and motivations, and I’m very excited to introduce them into the plot.

7 Likes

Keep on writing man I enjoyed 100% of it Hope to see more from you.

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This was SO good. I really love your writing style and it reads so well. Also loved how involved and capable our MC was.

Richard :pleading_face: :pleading_face:

I’m sitting here still gushing over this. I’m excited :heart:

3 Likes

Oh wow this was amazing! Keep it up! I loved the writing, the pacing and especially the atmosphere so much!

I really like when in detective stories/ thrillers the villain’s goal isn’t necessarily to kill the protagonist, at least not from the start, (because you know, most of the time villains never actually get to kill them cause the story would end :P) but if their goal is to capture them or frame them and such I feel like it makes it a bit more interesting cause those things CAN happen, so that “not to be harmed” really piqued my interest!

I can’t wait to see where this is going! Very VERY promesing! (I can’t believe this is only the prologue and we already got such a shocking plot twist! I don’t even know the guy/gal and my heart is already broken ahah!)

2 Likes

Enjoyed it. Looking forward to more.

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Don’t worry. There will be more of those in the future. :wink:

1 Like