Hollowed Minds (3/19/21 Updated +44k words, ROs introduced, +Tumblr)

Really interesting start, looking forward to seeing what happens next!

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The blame mechanic feels very satisfying to write, especially the self-blame. I’ve been wondering whether to implement it at all at first, but with all that’s been happening in MC’s life, I figured it would make more sense to give the option rather than force the readers to blame someone they don’t really want to blame.
It’s also going to matter a lot more in how the MC acts or interacts with others, since well, I don’t really plan for every line of conversation to be a choice.
I’ll probably include trigger warnings by the next update.

@LGonza Thank you so much! Hope you stick around :grin:

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One of the Best WIP for me, I really enjoy the action and suspense. Though I really want to know why Mommy Dear killed the father, or is Vincent he father🙂guess I’ll have to wait and see

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Thank you! That means a lot to me.

It’s a secret that will slowly unravel in due time :grin: There will be hints here and there, no worries.

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:tired_face::tired_face::tired_face:You killing me​:joy:

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@dp544 If it helps, there would be more detailed insights about the city’s state next update (plus different approaches to an investigation) so I hope that would at least relieve the suffering :laughing:

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So far so good with this WiP. The writing is really evocative and I like the characters we got to spend significant time with (Richard, Mother, Callie/Luke, and Alex). The world building is really clean and easy to understand (my mind was like ‘Gotham got it!’). I’m really excited to find out Wesley’s deal, because my knee jerk reaction even as my nice character is to just immaturely stick out my middle finger and just hold it out during their scenes. I actually did it during their scene at the end irl (which is really embarassing to admit lol). Honestly I’m not sure how my nice MC is going to react and I’m glad choices don’t have a time limit because I’d just stare at my choices and debate myself for an hour, because from the context wr have for Weasley and from their internal dialogue I believe they think what they did is justified but I’m just like ‘youve been cast from the friend circle…forever’.

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Thank you! This was really nice to see

A friend of mine pointed that out, too :joy: Funny thing is I didn’t even intend it to be similar, but I suppose it did have some influence on me. More details will come next chapter :grin:

Very valid! I’ve already been seeing different reactionswith regards to Wesley’s decisions, and I’m hoping to incorporate each one of them in the choices for the next couple of scenes you meet them

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I admit I’m mostly curious and confused, and I guess my MC is too. I can’t really make my mind before I know more!

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You’ll have more info on that soon. Not quite the complete picture yet, though

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Ya know I think if my Mc finally meets Wesley again after the whole incident I think he would first punch them in the face, ask if they’re okay and then punch them again before finally asking them to explain themself. Anger and betrayal creates a lot of steam that needs to be let loose.

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Just finished it and I am really liking it a lot!! I am always excited for IFs with a protective older sibling and Alex is just ;___; I love him.

The angst so far is so good. The awkward and tense interaction with the mom, the protective but secretive way Alex is behaving, Wesley, and Richard!!! I hope Richard will stay okay no matter what T__T The Wesley part at the end!!! I am so looking forward to meeting them again lol. Though I wonder, is it already written why Alex dislikes them? It was mentioned but I am not sure if the reasons were said already or not, I might have missed it.

All the ROs are really great too!! ;__; There definitely would be a lot of replays to pursue all their paths… Alonzo and Wesley are guaranteed to be angsty and that just means I have to pursue them. Owen is a kind doctor?? Basically the son-in-law of my parents’ dream. And Jade!!! I haven’t met her but my heart is also ready for her ;_;

This got longer than I hope, sorry for the rambling ;; Thank you for the great work!!

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The MC’s next encounter with Wesley would be a little…unconventional. You won’t get the whole explanation from them in one go, but yeah, you can definitely punch them (for lack of a less spoilery term).

I’m glad you’re enjoying it!

It’s definitely going to escalate soon. I wanted to establish first the MC’s background and the environment, so we’re just about to get into the more juicy details. I hope you’ll like those, too!

:smirk:

You’ll know the answer to that soon. Hopefully next update.

No, you didn’t miss it. Some of the reasons would be mentioned in the next update. :blush: And, well, some would be revealed in the far future.

Alonzo and Wesley would be the highlight of the next chapter, but you’ll be able to meet the other two soon enough again. You can meet Jade in Chapter 1 if you choose to go with your companion’s car instead of your own, but anyway, I’m still planning to flesh out that part more.
Each of them has their own important role in the story, so I’m also looking forward to writing their scenes.

No worries! I loved reading about your thoughts.

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PROGRESS UPDATE

So, I’m a little behind schedule. Again :sweat_smile:. Had to fix some pacing issues I had at the start of the next chapter. There were a lot of variations I had to take note of, too, so there’s that.

I’m planning to add more details in the stats page. I’ll be separating the relationship bars for the ROs and the other associates to prevent confusion (with some appearance details for the former), another page for the MC’s family, and then one for stats explanations and some content warnings.

I’m also thinking of implementing a way for readers to keep track of the clues the MC may encounter, but I might do that only after the end of Chapter 2.

Anyway, the next update won’t be the entirety of the chapter. Probably about 2/3 in terms of average playthrough, but I had to split it there because the last part of chapter 2 is both a mentally and emotionally draining scene, and I don’t want to rush it. I’m a little scared of what I’m about to do here…

One of the reasons why this update is taking so long is because I’m trying to implement different approaches to an investigation–while maintaining the balance between roleplaying and skill checks. As soon as I get past that, it will be all good to go.

P.S. If you all have concerns about what this game has got so far, even with the character customization, feel free to tell me. I’m always willing to listen if I have managed to mess something up.

That’s all. Thank you for all the support so far!

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That gala(?) scene amuses me way more than it has any right to :smiley:

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Ha. Glad you liked that one :wink: it was actually supposed to be longer, but didn’t feel right. Great to know it was entertaining enough :laughing:

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This was a really fun demo! The way you wrote various scenes was amazing, and the plot’s really intriguing! However, one thing I noticed was that the they/them pronouns were acting a bit wonky. Instead of staying in the plural form when referring to the main character they moved into the singular?? Other than that, really good demo so far!

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Thank you so much!

Yeah, seeing those errors made me cringe. I thought I had them handled before I uploaded the chapter. I think I’ve caught them all right now. I just haven’t uploaded the fix yet. But to be sure, I’ll do another run of checking before uploading the next chapter. Sorry you had to see those!

Adding to this, some folks on tumblr also reported an error on Wesley’s pronouns, so if any of you has encountered that, I’d like to inform you that it’s been taken care of (will be uploaded along with the next update). :blush:

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ooh!! love the game!! I’m excited to see what happens next!! Love Wesley (and everyone else tbh) btw!!

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