Hilarious bad reviews


I just found this one about Marine Raider…I think he’s trying to communicate…

“Not Evan a person game. You just make chooses and thats it”


Oh, definitely. To everyone else, though, it’s obvious it’s part of a series.


It always raises my spirits to see toddlers online. They must have a very enlightened parent.

But in all seriousness, if you’re going to leave a review for anything you should at least know the difference between Evan and even.


It’s pretty unbelievable xD believe it or not, I got a review that was even worse. The person said “I had hope because this guy made Zombie Exodus, but it was just garbage.” Uhhh…I didn’t make ZE 0_0


Here are my three from Unnatural.

“I cannot get it to play right for I try it ,and to and it don’t do anything for maybe it will work for you ,I just find how to work it just try…”

“this game was not what I thought it was. i thought it would be a longer game but intead it was just one chapter.”

“Don’t know s*** - I clicked the zombie option for the murderer of you family (because I love zombies and studied them for two years) and who ever wrote this doesn’t know s*** about zombies. The only thing they got right is to damage the brain. Zombie’s can’t die then come back. They are infected with a bacteria, and bacteria Can’t go into a non living host. So That rules out the stupid magician bull s***. And there eyes stay in there head unless something occured before infection or after infection.”


^I saw that one (Samuel made ZE), I mean really… ^^’
Wow, you got told!
He must have majored in Undertaking and done a minor in unnatural studies.



it still makes me lol



But, it’s 240,000 words o_o and what does “one chapter” mean?

Hmmm…I was under the impression that fiction authors were allowed to write fiction…Perhaps he went to Zombie University



I can only assume they meant they thought “free” = full game.


^We get A LOT of that, I don’t know about iOS but on Android it does actually say on the app page under the images on the right ‘inApp Purchases’ - so you can tell before you download it.


Whyyyy are people so spoiled and clueless? T.T


lolz u gies suk u stop mekin fum o pepppoes


No but seriously xD i love theese.


I’m not too familiar with the appstores we use to sell our games, but are there ways to get rid of clearly rubbish reviews? Like from that guy that gives every CoG game one-stars because he’s upset he didn’t get his game published (or so I’ve heard)?


I also got one of some guy complaining that Trial of the Demon Hunter didn’t have an eplilogue. Hmmm…will 7 sequels suffice? Will that do it for ya?

And another guy gave it a low rating because he thought he died at the end. 0.0 it explicitly says you fell unconscious. And why would you die before even seeing the demon you’re tracking?

I truly wish CoG could delete ratings like that.


So these two guys played it all the way to the end (which if you hated the game would have been torture) and gave it a poor review because they misunderstood stuff?

Whelp, I’ll make note of that somewhere, “Spell out major plot twists three times, and make sure they know if the gamebook will continue in a sequel”.


The in app title is “Trial of the Demon Hunter - book one of Demons Among Men” and I said there are seven sequels in the author’s note but they still didn’t know it was in a series. I’m adding


so hopefuly that’ll make it fool proof. And actually, they both said they liked it but rated it poorly because there wasn’t an epilogue/they died.


Hello Evans is my name why am i in someone review i dont even make games what?


Haha xD


I dont understand how someone can write so bad. I mean, my first language is french and i learned english by myself with video games. Dont tell me that someone who’s native language is english write like a 6 years old!