High School Revenge (WIP) (Chapter 3 OUT NOW, Mar 24, 2024)

Then maybe I do live in the minority of the states. It doesn’t make what I said invalid. There is no public notification in my state, especially if it involves a minor child. The only notifying needed to be done is federal. There even exists loopholes such as moving to a state and residing there for at least six months and then getting a name change prior to moving to another state.

Just because you wanted the mc to be older doesn’t change that it’s very plausible to have your name changed and not have everyone notified publicly.

Once again, not necessary in my state. Once parental rights are terminated or emancipation granted, said parent, parents, or legal guardians are no longer considered parents or legal guardians, thus are not eligible for any further parental rights. At this point the child can opt to change their name as a legal adult regardless of age (if emancipated), or their legal guardian or remaining parent can then apply for a legal nsfw change. Once granted, no public notices are listed, no notices are given to any parent that has lost parental rights.

Please do not further reply on this matter. It does appear that this discussion is starting to turn towards the less than civil, and is rather upsetting that even using my knowledge of law obtained through study and practical field work, said knowledge is discounted as error and/or in minority. Even if it is in minority, the knowledge given was given in example to the plausibility of the original scenario. As that scenario is no longer being used as originally planned, such further conversation is no longer required and further knowledge given on the subject beyond this point will be given only upon request by the author should they require input, and via pm only.

Should any other research be needed by the author regarding law, law enforcement, or law enforcement procedure, that shall also be available upon request via pm.

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@Jared_Frias I actually read the manga for masamune and it kinda inspired me to do a story where the MC actually has a legit reason to do a revenge. The direction it went in pissed me off a bit. I don’t know how it ends but it seems kinda predictable (I hope it’s not :crossed_fingers:).

Without spoiling anything, I can say that I plan to make Olivia one of the biggest obstacles when we come back.

I just had to say that I’m impressed by this statement. Nothing more.

@simulated I plan on having MC choose what he thinks would be best to do in the 2 year gap. I was actually thinking of becoming an internet mini celebrity, since some of the targets will like you more that way at the start.

@komorebi I thought about romancing other side characters but only to manipulate them to help you with your plans. Actually, I thought of many characters with that role. But that sounds like a good idea. I especially like @No_This_Is_Patrick 's idea to romance another victim of the bullies. I can come up with a really interesting romance in that scenario.

@JsonB Glad you liked it, can you tell me which dialogues you considered unnatural so I can improve them?

@Lycanthromorphic Thanks for the info. If I need any help with some of the things you mentioned I’ll dm you. I’m counting on your help :blush:.

@Hollows That song fits really well. I like it. Mine is this one :smiling_imp:.

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Now this is quite the interesting WIP.
I really enjoyed the writing aswell as the characters.

I have 1 Question though: How far will we able to go to get our revenge?

Regarding the notification requirement for changing a minor’s name, it probably wouldn’t matter. How many people in general, much less high schoolers, are aware that there is a requirement? How many of those know how or where to look up that information? And what’s the likelihood that a high school kid who has that knowledge is going to use it to look up the new kid at their school, just in case he’s the kid they humiliated back in 5th grade? I’d say the protagonist is pretty safe here.

I’d also suggest that having an avenue for your targets and/or allies to discover your identity might not be a bad thing; get people too suspicious or drop too many hints, and someone gets curious enough to actually look up the new kid’s past. But they don’t do that without compelling reason, so the player has the chance to avoid it, or even drop hints strategically to control who gets curious.

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Well if the mc is rich and attractive there may be a few and looking things up is not exactly all that difficult. in the age of Google, whereas up until the late 90’s you had to drag yourself physically to the local library, court or newspaper offices and pour for hours over microfilm archives. So the motivation thresholds for snooping have definitely decreased in recent decades as the ease with which it can done has increased.
As I mentioned Olivia in particular seems obsessed enough with the mc that she might try (and succeed) in keeping (online) tabs on them.

Yeah, but it shouldn’t be too easy either. Eventually revealing your true identity is a component of most revenge plots but to pull them off successfully the mc here would need to be able to control the timing of the reveals.

Anyway if the mc does become a celebrity and is crazy enough to participate in nonsense like “Rich kids of Instagram” the tabloids are likely going to do all the work for their would-be targets and probably even kindly link the humiliating viral video with the mc’s new identity at no cost or effort to the would-be targets at all.
Which is why I really think the mc would be better off staying far away from journalists as they are typically people who know how to look shit up. That might include aspiring snoops on the highschool newspaper too, which seems like an activity that just screams Olivia.

Being hot and visibly rich is likely enough reason for a fair number of classmates to try and Google the new kid. So their assumed name had better come up clean and totally boring.
The internet and social media really are potentially formidable complications that our dear Count of Monte Christo never had to worry about in his schemes.

Not as safe as they would have been before the internet age at the very least.

Also being required to move in with fist dad as a minor is likely to be an instant cover-blower anyway in addition to severely limiting what the mc can and cannot do with their own time, money and living situation.

Either first dad still cares about the mc, in which case he’d likely trumpet them coming back for at least a year to all of his friends and acquaintances who care to listen and throw a “welcome home” party or something. Or he doesn’t care in which case it is also rather unlikely he cares to keep it a secret from anybody who cares to ask. In fact in an opposite turn of the above he might even complain to some of his friends about having to “take care” of the mc again.
Lastly if he hates the mc he might just tell the parents of the bullies instead.

I suppose for the people dead-set on having the mc be a minor during (nearly) all of the game if mom at least is in on it I suppose she could make a trusted employee who has a positive rapport with the mc like a butler or something their caregiver, which doesn’t take away any of her rights and responsibilities but would enable to mc to actually live with that person (hopefully in a cool mansion), instead of first dad and enable that person to deal with school matters concerning the mc in lieu of mom.
Even with indulgent mom and an obedient butler as their caregiver minor mc would still lack the ability to do some stuff an 18-year old could easily do for what I believe would yield no appreciable gain in fun gameplay elements, particularly where it may concern what is possible with the romances.

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finally…i could be my own petty self in this game. very relaxing…i love it! real ready to spend all mc’s money on private investigators to find all their weakness…and use it against each one of them (can i do it in-game? :pray:) also i’m hoping to play mc as a nerdy shy teen…so they would look unasuming. it’s ok if they found out who the mc is, i think it helps take their guards down…as long as they dont found out about the revenge plan :face_with_hand_over_mouth:

They just messed with the wrong girl. I will make them pay for hurting my MC, Lily. Not one of them is safe from our wrath! We will get our vengeance! We shall slowly gain their trust, little by little, lulling them into a false sense of security and safety before unleashing our full furry and humiliating them. We will utterly destroy, making them wish that they were never born! Every single one of them will soon know the meaning of fear and pain! The only ones that may _be spared shall be the two “friends” that betrayed Lily, and that depends entirely on what they say to her once she has them in her clutches. Maybe we’ll allow them to be our accomplices in our revenge plan! Not even that teacher is sage from our wrath! _ …I wonder, are we going to be allowed to utterly destroy his reputation and get him fired from his job?

Anyways, now that I’ve got my little rant out of my system (for now), @Sucof here are a few things that I noticed might need to be fixed in this WiP;


Over here you might want to add the word “you” so that it reads “tell you my name”


Might want to change that “a” into “an”


This sentence might read better if it were “You and your mother have had an incredibly good relationship”


Over here, well you might want to mention earlier on that the (original) father of the MC was the was the schools principal or something. Because honestly this sentence completely surprised me when I read it.

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Fingers crossed that we get the option to play a lighter and softer version of the “Count of Monte Christo”. Say, an MC who wants to teach his/her middle school tormentors how to be more empathetic and compassionate people by forcing them to realize the negative consequences of their selfish ways. Preferably through some benign trickery.

I guess I like the option to teach the characters to be better people because destroying people’s lives can feel awfully hollow. And the MC’s tormentors are basically young adults that are soon going to be unleashed upon the world, and it would nice to use our wealth and status to change our nemeses ways for the better so that those less fortunate do not have to go through the same experience that the MC did.

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There may be one or two exceptions and those would be the teacher (he was an adult and should have known better) and possibly the one who re-posted the original video, made it go viral and maybe made a large amount of money of off it in social media ad revenue. Even there I’d like to repay them in kind, preferably by engineering a viral video that really humiliates them for a change.

If it’s final/senior year for them, then yes. Also hope the mc can actually have already graduated highschool early at the start of the game so they already know the subjects and have a maximum amount of time to devote to their plots. Which shouldn’t be impossible since mom seems to be really driving them to study, study and then study some more. Particularly if you choose an mc who basically didn’t have a social life, which gives them an incredible amount of time to train their mind and body in preparation.

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@Malvastor The MC will obviously have ways of getting caught but the last name would be a problem since I plan to keep the first name. Anyway, I would like the name change discussion to end since I’ve decided on what to do and it’s getting tiresome. Thanks for the comment though.

@idonotlikeusernames My original plan was for MC to have a butler since I want mom to be away for the first part of the story. I might still let him have one but I’ll think about it. Also, obviously, we won’t live at dad’s.

I’m getting many life motto’s in this thread. Thanks for little grammar things. I’ll check them out.

@HeroBoots The “compassionate” route will of course be possible. You’ll see that not all of them are actually a holes.

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Excuse me for being a sceptic, but until I see that with my own eyes they are all going down… Especially that Issac guy!

Anyways, kudos on bringing out my wrath like that. The last work of fiction I came across that did that was the movie Carrie. I really do look forward to seeing were this WiP will take us :slightly_smiling_face:

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Yay! Hoping for a cool mansion, staff included. :grin:

My mc could probably also use a personal trainer (need to sculpt those abs to perfection. :wink: ) and a general beautician (manicure, pedicure, facials, hair, etc. Can probably also double as a makeup artist if we’re lucky and the mc wants to really disguise themselves for parts of their scheme) to help him look his best all the time. :grin: Or as my mc himself might view it to craft a pleasant facade so he can actually stand to look at himself in a mirror or picture and plaster over some of the deeper issues inside.
Besides if mom really is a super seductress the mc is highly likely to have some good genes as far as appearance goes, would be a shame to not milk that for all it is worth. As for why he was small and nerdy in elementary school I attribute that mostly to him having a late (but not delayed) puberty and I do love me a good ugly duckling to beautiful swan transformation, particularly when the mc has the resources to really take it to the next level.

Of course there’s also people who prefer the opposite and like the mc to stay nerdy and unassuming, but for me gorgeous would obviously be the way to go, all the easier to break some hearts and seduce information out of people. :sunglasses:

Isaac does seem the most likely to have re-posted that video, made it go viral and make a handsome amount of social media add revenue of off it. So, yeah, he does top the list for me too. :angry:

And a fully staffed mansion, a butler needs other staff to supervise after all. :wink:

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please please please let us have a butler
i want my mc to be able to brag about/show off his wealth to potentially make the targets feel inferior :smiling_imp:

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DAMN that demo riled me up! Very much looking forward to shoving Vivian`s face into a bowl of punch!

I am pretty impressed however at the level of detail the bullies went into to stage that humiliation. I think Olivia and Dylan were bribed or summat. (I am refusing to believe that a girl who headbutted a bully could turn on me like that)

Jarvis! snaps fingers Choke slam Isaac and clothesline thatreallygoddamnannoyingpeteacher.

If Olivia explains that she wasn`t part of the plan she could possibly be up for the job!

Nah, I call dibs on Connor. Already think up plans of dramatic irony to do him in!

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Honestly to me the only one I’d be willing to forgive, that is forgive not trust, is Olivia cause she actually tries to warn the MC without betraying the bullies, the people who appear to be her original friends. Honestly it was more than obvious at that point so it’s kinda the MC’s fault cause by then they should’ve known something wrong and they just let it happen. The others just screwed us over but she actually tried to give us an out

I mean Cecily looked like she was regretting it the whole time but she still went through with it and, unlike Olivia, did not give us an out

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…There once was a horse that wanted revenge against a bear. He couldn’t do it on his own and so he asked the help of a man. By having the man climb on his back, they were able to work together to kill the bear. But when the horse asked the man to release him, the man would not, enslaving the horse forever.

…Consequences…

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Well I just tried out the demo. I’m absolutely enraged so thumbs up for that, (not that it’s difficult to make me mad). Now you know what would REALLY be an achievement? Making the whole revenge thing actually feel satisfying and not underwhelming (and certainly not ruining it all by ham-fisting one of those stupid, post-modern little “revenge actually feels empty” messages). Which might be harder that it seems, considering your “no kill” rule (I assume no killing also means no anything too violent, so I won’t be leaving anyone with permanent disabilities, disfigurements or irreversible mental trauma).

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I don’t know about Olivia, but I think Dylan was bullied into helping. Which is why I’m going to give him the chance to explain himself. If I’m right, then he gets spared. Maybe I’ll let him join me. If I’m wrong, then he better have one hell of a good explanation as to why he betrayed poor Lily (my MC), otherwise he’ll end up as one of her targets. I plan on letting Olivia explain herself only because she used to be Lily’s close friend, and I plan on having Lily be (somewhat) merciful to those she was close to. I would have given Michel (is that his name?) a chance also, if it weren’t for the fact that he said ew to Lily! :rage:

What?! But the irreversible mental trauma is one of the best ways to get revenge!

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I wonder if any of the bullies will have reformed into good and decent people. Should make for moral hand ringing when plotting revenge.

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I doubt it, but if there were some that did become half decent people I strongly doubt that Issac is one of them, especially since he’s reblogging the video!

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