@Kurvo @idonotlikeusernames I like people fighting but please, just wait another day. I will upload the link for the first chapter tomorrow and then we can talk about the whole “MC was too young” thing and his mental health.
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Omg no. Something happened to me when I was 9 that I remember to this day.
I remember a humiliating event from when I was about 7 that has been with me all these years.
To me it’s very believable to have this happen at that age.
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It’s true they would remember it, but they would move on and not spend the next 7 years plotting revenge against them unless there was something psychologically wrong with them.
I have sent the last 26 years plotting revenge for what happened to me. It’s very possible. You don’t just forget some things.
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If it was something serious that happened to the MC at the Valentine dance I would get it, but if ends up not being that then our MC will just seem extremely petty.
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I don’t really remember much from before middle school. All I remember is that I used to be lonely and didn’t like to go to school, and was also angry at my parents for not having a phone/computer etc.
I didn’t really have enemies that I want to get revenge on, I only had like 1 boy who liked to tease me often but later he became one of my only friends at that time.
Now it’s about 11 years later and I forgot the names of most of the old classmates and who they were already, so if I met them today I’d probably not recognize them anymore or simply not care.
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Considering the main character is the bad one. It makes perfect sense why this would happen.
You’re expecting main character to naturally be sane. Which is obviously not the case. 
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Hey send me a demo please? Sounds like a challenge for me since I’m not good at hurting peoples feelings but it can be something I’d love to try.
I’m fine with his age
Hey guys, I finally finished my first chapter.
I wanted to add some comments about it here. The “tragedy” is a bit dramatic and over the top but I considered that it should be like that since, otherwise, the MC wouldn’t have a reason to actually want revenge. If you have suggestions on how to tone it down and they still work with the story, I would be glad to hear them.
Another thing is that most of the choices will affect the future rather than the past events.
Thanks guys, I can’t wait to hear your opinions.
Link at the top
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Just Finished the demo, Very promising it seems like youve spend the last few days working on this. Looking forward to the next updates,Goodluck.
(And sorry for my English by the way, French is my first language not English)
I really enjoyed the demo! You did a great job, I can’t wait for what is next! And honestly I’m excited to exact my revenge!
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Hmm…okay the premise might work with a bit of tweaking, the first incident was elaborate, malicious and hurtful (though I still think 11 is a bit young for Valentine’s day shenanigans, but I understand you want the revenge to take place in the last year of high school rather than college and you need to allow the mc time to change everything about themselves too, so fair enough). Still as it is shown now with just some silly messages on social media it would at most anger my mc for a day or so and not much else.
I used to work as a political aide and now work in the legal profession and getting unkind messages on social media is par for the course today, which is part of the very many reasons why I’m not on social media, but I do get dozens of ridiculous emails on a fairly frequent basis and I’m not even really prominent in the field.
What would be really hurtful however is if it really came back to haunt the mc a second time around. Have some MTV-esque pranking or “funny” videos programme on TV pick it up, broadcast it around the world and make “creepy queer kid gets humiliated” really go viral and global.
That would possibly be traumatic, hurtful and humiliating enough to get my mc motivated towards revenge and to change everything about themselves, particularly if his former tormentors in addition to it going viral actually make a bundle of money of off it.
As for the changes my mc would like to make in the next chapter, becoming a health and fitness nut is rather obvious, as is bleaching his hair platinum blond (cause nothing says “evil” in teenage movies and shows like bleached blond guys), taking the last name of his mother or one of his many fathers, changing his first name, etc, etc,. You’ve at least got the vast fortune part that gives the mc the means to change themselves and plot revenge down-pat.
All in all with a few more changes to make the mc’s motivations just a bit less petty I could see the mc returning with cruel intentions and a thirst for revenge working out as a good bit of teenage drama here.
Though I’d still like to make one last plea for moving the incident up to highschool and the revenge to college.
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You sure know how to make characters I hate, now I’m coming up with ideas for revenge. I hope your revenge plans measure up.
Edit: Sorry, that sounded a little mean. I’m obviously really into the story so good job on that.
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@idonotlikeusernames The idea where the video goes viral is really good actually. I think I’ll use that. The thing is that MC didn’t just see a bad comment about him. He saw a video of the moment where he was humiliated posted by his main bully. But again, I think I’ll steal the whole viral thing. Thanks! Also, I don’t think I’ll make him older, even though that might give us more possibilities. It’s just that it has always been my fantasy to do a crazy revenge through my middle school and high school and guessed that more people would like to see this kind of scenario.
@rialta Demo ends there. Thanks 
@grimbutnotalways You really live up to your username.
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The demo was fun! You really made me despise some of the characters, though I do still kinda like Dylan and Olivia (mostly Dylan tbh). Also, I love the backstory the mc gets, moving around and doing fun things with their mom, then the dang video circulating again… I can’t wait so see what our mc has in store for our old “friends” 
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Indeed! The friendship with Dylan and Olivia was so sweet! It was so painful knowing how it was going to go 
. I look forward to the revenge! While I am not a huge endorser of revenge, this people kinda deserve it at this point!
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Loved the demo. Something like that would have made me plan on revenge as well.
A bit of psychology into the incident…
A child, at an impressionable age, with few friends finally gets friends and becomes very close with them, then things start to go well for them, even having your crush acknowledge you and former tormentors being kind to them. Things are great. Then it’s all torn away from them. Humiliated in such a vicious fashion, being rejected by their crush, losing their new friends, but most especially finding out their close friends betrayed them. That’s actually enough to cause a psychological break. On top of all that there’s a divorce and being ripped away from constancy in the midst of such a traumatic event is just the sort of thing that would cause someone years after the incident to get revenge.
As a person who has dealt with some issues at a young age with trust betrayal, and knowing personally someone who turned into a school shooter, from a psychological perspective, this is sound motivation for a revenge plot.
Oftentimes the plotting of revenge is cathartic. Sometimes you need more and carry it out.
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Because she asked you what was written on the blackboard… and you only ask people who you like what is written on the blackboard… Right?
OMG THAT’S SO CUTE!!!
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