High School Revenge (WIP) (Chapter 3 OUT NOW, Mar 24, 2024)

Hey, things become cliché because they’re good, right?

I like the idea of breaking their hearts one by one too. Or doing to them what the bullies did to Carrie at prom. :metal:

Yeah I thought of this too. What if we want them to know why they got their comeuppance? (Without telling who we are. For all they know we could be just some freak rich kid who knows about their past in some twisted I Know What You Did Last Summer fashion.)After 2 or 3 revenge plots I’d imagine people wouldn’t be so trusting.

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I’m not into revenge stories. Or so I thought before playing the demo. I’m going to work out who planned it in the first place and work my way from there. Some of the pranks, like glueing to the chair seems like a male thing. Filming could be any gender, though for public humiliation, more female? Party at my mansion with my Jetset friends, who think slumming it with the gauche locals is somewhat quaint but ultimately boring, before we rich people private jet to a party somewhere else? One thing I do know, one revenge is going to end with an “ew!”

I’d assumed that our mother found out about what really happened to the MC, and that was what caused the argument. I’d expect, given her excitement earlier for the MCs big night, that she went all ‘mama bear’ on first dad when he wouldn’t do anything.

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That was my exact same reaction but now I’m like these people are going down especially Issac if possible I won’t kill him or hurt him physically just make him wish I did

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Oh I certainly agree with that. The amount of anger and regret you cause to someone by making sure they know that their lives are being ruined because of the awful things they did in the past is one of the best parts of revenge. I just think that they should know that only AFTER the deed has been done. Although watching them squirm in fear when they realize they are being hunted is fun, it could give them the chance to prepare some kind of defense.

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I think this seems really fun! I like how outlandish and yet simultaneously heartbreaking the incident was, and i like the idea of us going out there for revenge. It will be interesting to see how much the characters change from childhood.

I have two suggestions for improvement:

  • Like others, I think eleven might be a little too young. Just slightly, though. I think moving the main character to middle school–so like 12-13ish–would be the best. That would make it easier to justify a school having a Valentine dance and kids asking each other, because that sort of thing really does take off as a big deal in middle school. It would also remind everyone that yes, middle school is hell. I think a middle school dance would be less likely to have as many chaperones, too, so that way you can have the prank be the way it is without bringing up the question of why no adults intervened.
  • Bring down the husband count. Nine by the time we’re 18 is okay, but pushing it. Nine by fifteen? That’s not possible and pushes the joke into a grave. I think it’s important to foreshadow the divorce in the kid’s childhood, and also lower the number of husbands.

Otherwise, I love this! It’s funny

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Lol probably. I plan to, depending on how it plays out, “conquer” Vicky, screw over my “best friends” to get in with the cool kids, and, after they are all super cool with me, I cause irreparable damage to their social lives to the point of financial ruin (record them cheating on a wife/ruin their career/etc.) When Olivia or Vicky comes to me with the invariable “motivation excuse” (I’m really sad about this kid I made fun of in middle school. I really liked him but I didn’t want to get made fun… but if I could go back I’d change things…) I’ll be sure to screw them over extra hard

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I do agree, bringing the count down to fewer (but even richer) also works, as would mom being a very successful businesswoman and venture capitalist in her own right, which would also provide the story with an even better excuse of why she grows distant in the mc’s life and why she pushes their education so much.

Currently they’re necessary to make the mc’s mom a billionaire, which is what is necessary these days to be more than merely well-off and get to Count of Monte Christo levels of mind-mindbogglingly rich. :wink:
Like I said if mom turns out to be really good at investing her divorce fortunes and making connections she could probably accomplish attaining those mind-boggling levels of wealth with half the number of husbands too.

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I’m seriously looking forward to this! I love these kinds of stories! It’s also probably why The Count of Monte Cristo is such a classic story!

The nine fathers is a bit much on its own unless there’s a real solid reason it impacts the character for purposes of the story. Perhaps each of the fathers taught the MC some unique skill that makes him stand out? After all, if he’s going to be “reborn” he needs new skills to do so.

It might be even cooler if we can pick those skills. It would allow us to become more attached to the MC!

I think that’s a bit of a shallow understanding of the Count of Monte Cristo, however. The character in that particular work wasn’t defined by his wealth–it was just a facet. What was the real metamorphosis was all the skills he attained since he was gone that made him into a completely different person than he was. True, he was rich. However, to truly be a metamorphosis, it really needs entail some sort of real change in the character as well.

Given that we have a number of (what I assume to be) fathers who are probably at high levels in their field (athletes, intellectuals, etc), I feel like it might be an opportunity wasted if they’re not used to a more full extent in the story. There’s a great excuse for a character’s metamorphosis already written in!

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I agree that gaining skills is a crucial part of transforming the mc and enabling the revenge plot, however they don’t necessarily have to be gained from the succession of new “fathers”, highly skilled private tutors (and for my mc a personal physician and trainer too) would be more efficient ways for a minor to gain a great many skills (and transform their body away from the skinny and nerdy) quickly.
Of course there probably should be an element of choice here, as aside from the fun activities with mom already mentioned, I don’t see my mc as having much of a social life, but that means all the more time for study and training.
Others may want their mc’s to have more of a social life to the point of becoming minor celebrities even. This is a choice game and depending on author stamina that means many choices are going to be equally valid and that hopefully extends to our mc’s new personality, skillset and appearance.

But let me quote what I’ve already said earlier wealth may be just a facet but it is the great enabler of many a revenge plot:

Again the mc’s new skills don’t necessarily have to come from their new fathers, particularly given that being that high up they are likely to be very busy people with a premium on their time that they’d probably rather spend with our mom, for as long as they have her anyway, then her son/daughter.
If my mc does gain a jetset mentor figure I think he’d be more likely to fall into the older brother category. As a plus the step-sibling bond may become strong enough in a relatively short time to survive the parent’s (but mostly the mc’s mom’s) shenanigans.
Alternatively mom might finally become serious about our latest “dad” and if she does remain with him for a year or more, at least, it would give that latest family more time to really impact my mc.
Otherwise I view him as polite but distant to most people he meets.

If you really want a literary analysis then given that compared to the Count of Monte Christo the characters are really young and the inciting incident relatively petty as well. The fact that this is a choice game all likely mean that many things will be a bit shallower. The advantage of a pre-set protagonist in a non-interactive story is that it is much easier for the author to delve deep into certain aspects of the main character if they want to. For example the Count was straight (and had a son he didn’t know of), giving him the option to be gay would have changed the story quite a bit and raised a whole different set of issues. If Monte Christo had been made as a good interactive piece it would have had to account for both and likely sacrificed a bit of depth to accommodate the breadth.

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Man…I thought I was cruel…man I just want to get my old friends and ruin the bullies…man…y’all are evil…I love it :heart_eyes:

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So guys, what song would you use for your MC ?
Mine would be
Starboy by the Weeknd

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I don’t have a song yet, but my MC resonates with this 1000% :ok_hand:

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This Madonna song, because that’s essentially what I envision my mc as being until he gets something out of the revenge that helps him move on. So in that sense the revenge is not a waste of time on hate (and regret).
Besides, instead of playing the character who melts the heart of the cute ice prince this may be a rare game that offers me the chance to play as the cool “ice prince” for a change.

@Acrylic too bad the girl doesn’t actually sing the lyrics, but I get the sentiment. :+1:

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Oh, I agree. Olivia seems like a case of someone handling a crush really badly. As for the implications of her acting like this over a crush… yeah, it’s abusive, but she’s 11. She hasn’t learned healthy relationship practices yet.

This I have to challenge. Motivations are incredibly important to justice. We literally have different categories of homicide based on the killer’s intentions, because the guy who gets in a bar brawl and kills his opponent is a very different person from the guy who sneaks into your house at night with a silenced pistol.

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This one.

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Why? Why is it different? Is one less dead because it was a brawl fight? Is his family less distraught because the murderer didn’t meticulously plan out the fine details?

When meting out justice, motivation is irrelevant as both people are sent to prison. In the case you and another person bring up, motivation is slightly more relevant as it tells society at large what this person is capable of. ‘Was he texting and not pay attention to the road, thus killing the child?’ Or ‘Did he hate the family for years and set up an elaborate plan to kill them?’ One tells me it wasn’t on purpose while the other one tells me it was.

In relation to the game, ALL characters involved in your humiliation are fully aware, thus throwing away the ‘Manslaughter v First Degree’ argument that is trying to be made. They all knew what was happening and all had a reason for doing it… that is irrelevant to reality.

For a emo one
Or this
Or a sweet lullaby for my dear friends

Hey everyone, I just added a little conversation where you can talk to the mother before the dance. Also, I fixed some problems I had with the paragraphs (They were too long unintentionally; problems with the code) and changed the age where the MC sees the video. + save button

I really like everyone talking about the songs that fit the story. I think my playlist for when I will play the game will be pretty big :smile:. Also, what’s with all the hate for Olivia (Even though I wished that)? Man, you guys are cruel.

Please tell me what you think of the new conversation. :pray:

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I think I just like “my” mother a little more besides her way of getting us rich.And surely I’d like to see my MC take some guide from their demon mode mother

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